Found And Lost

by Deanna Hall

  The whole gang was there, even Nashoba and his crew. They had changed in the months since they’d taken us. Nash had even apologized for his part in it. Bodie said I had changed them with my warmth and forgiveness. He insisted I had that effect on people that I brought out the best in them.

  I was leaning against Bodie, feeling like a cow when the first contraction hit. Our twins were delivered in the middle of a field by my daughter’s father on his birthday. Despite being extremely tiny, they were perfectly formed and healthy. Bodie was concerned because I didn’t stop bleeding right away. Once I shifted, everything was fine.

  Both the boy and girl both had a full head of dark hair and dark eyes. We had to reach out to them and hold their spirits at first, feeding them the strength to breathe. Once they started, their lungs were healthy. I had not tried to touch their spirits as I had Penny’s baby while I was pregnant. I wanted to be surprised.

  I’d talked to them, while Bodie had sung to them, though we hadn’t known there were two until a month ago. Once I held them in my arms, their spirit crash into me. I immediately knew who they belonged to. I guessed the boy was close to five pounds, while our girl was about a pound or so lighter.

  Given one of them was Dakota’s, I figured they were about a month early. We named the girl after Bodie’s and my mother, Aalia Hana Greyfeather. The boy we named after his father and uncle, Dakota Donovan. He would bear the name Greyfeather since we didn’t want Jackson knowing his true parentage. The fact that my son’s father was not present for his birth broke my heart.

  Bodie was so proud. He vowed to love Kotah as much as Aalia. Jackson, who thought they were both Bodie’s, was ecstatic. Like every other special occasion, Bodie had taken lots of pictures.

  I was glad Makala was there. She was an enormous help with the babies. Despite wishing Dakota was there to hold his son, I couldn’t help being happy with my new family. I had two little beings, who were apart of the two people I loved most in the world, to care for.

  Gifts for the babies poured in from the Tribe members. Blankets, clothing, diapers, even a set of baskets for them to sleep in. Makala was almost as delighted with the babies as I was.

  My grandfather strutted around like a proud Cock. Claiming he was already bringing new life to our tribe. Like Bodie and I had nothing to do with it. He called for a celebration to be held in five days to welcome his great-grandchildren into the tribe.

  Bodie and Makala helped out all they could; however, only I could feed our hungry little Indians. Apparently, there was no such thing as a breast pump on the res. After I’d shifted that first night, I was pleased to find all baby fat I’d gained, along with the stretch marks, had disappeared. You would never have known I’d given birth just hours earlier. The next few days went by very fast as we got into a routine with our new family.

  Days we’d take the babies for a ride in their papooses. They seemed to love it. They seemed to sleep best on horseback. Nights went by slower with the feedings every two-hour disturbing our sleep. All in all, they were excellent babies. They were never fussy and very alert for newborns. With Makala around, Bodie and I even managed to get in time for each other. The babies changed everything for me. I now had a purpose in life that trumped all the misery I held inside. Outside of the ache I had in my heart for Dakota, I was very happy.

  A Light In The Darkness

  Dakota

  Over eight months had gone by since Mia and Makala’s disappearance. I knew everyone had given up on ever finding the girls. Everyone except Charlie and me. We still felt them. Sometimes it felt like Mia was reaching out to me. Holding my damaged spirit in her loving arms.

  If I couldn’t feel Mia’s spirit, alive and strong, I wouldn’t have had the will to keep going. Charlie stayed on at the cabin. We did our best to keep the place up. We wanted everything perfect for when we found our girls and brought them home.

  Charlie worked the ranch, taking care of our small herd. All the mares were expecting. Meanwhile, I threw myself into work and school. Since Doc Baker had a busy practice, it wasn’t hard. Between work, the horses, and school, I didn’t have much downtime during the day. Only the nights seemed to drag on endlessly.

  CJ and Penny had a beautiful daughter they named Mia Elizabeth. Penny, Wansonee, CJ, Denise, Pete, and Christine had gotten married a couple of months ago in a huge ceremony. I knew they had given up when they picked the date because, before that, they’d insisted on waiting for Mia and Makala to get home.

  The whole gang came out every weekend. Even though they all still missed Mia and Makala, they were getting on with their lives. Only Charlie and I were stuck in the past. Neither of us had a life without the girls. Neither Charlie nor I could sleep well, so most nights we drank until we passed out. We often closed down the bar in town.

  My folks ended up moving to Pagosa Springs because they were worried about me. My dad joined the local police force, while Mom worked at the hospital in Durango with Beth three days a week. She also spent two days volunteering at the clinic on the Ute Reservation. They had a lovely house Peter’s dad gave them on the Circle D.

  I guess Donnie hadn’t given up on Mia either because he came by every day after school and rode Cinnamon. He insisted his big sister would be home one day, and he wanted her to know he’d never given up.

  The news had stopped broadcasting the story of the girls' disappearance long ago. The media had left town around the same time. There were no more calls about sightings. The world had forgotten and moved onto the next big news.

  The first ray of hope came May 2nd. Charlie and I were sitting on the porch, sharing a pint of whiskey when Dad drove up. As he walked up to the porch, his eyes went to the pile of empty bottles. Despite his frown, he didn’t say anything.

  It was an argument he’d given up on a long time ago. I guess he knew it was a losing battle. The booze was all that got Charlie and me through the long, lonely nights. We had to dull the pain somehow.

  Dad had a manila envelope in his hand, just like the one I been given so many months ago. “Kotah, I have something you need to see. I insisted on being the one bring it out.” I felt the lump in my throat as I accepted the envelope with trembling fingers. I dropped it, spilling out a picture. When I picked it up, I almost dropped it again.

  It was a picture of Makala and Mia. They were sitting cross-legged under a willow tree by a pond. Both were smiling and cuddling the tiniest babies I’d ever seen. Mia looked tired, with dark circles under her eyes; nonetheless, she looked unharmed. I looked at Dad in confusion. “Read the letter, Son.”

  “Dakota, Charlie, I could not let this occasion go by without your knowledge. Miakoda and Makala are both well. They are as happy as can be expected under the circumstances. Though they miss you both desperately, they have made the best of a bad situation.

  Dakota, the baby in Mia’s arms is yours. You have a beautiful, strong son. Mia named him Dakota Donovan. He was born on April 30. Miakoda suffers such pain at the knowledge you know nothing of your son’s birth. Therefore I felt obligated to inform you.

  I must confess, Mia says the twin in Makala’s arms is mine. I can only guess that Mia was pregnant at the time she was taken yet somehow became pregnant again with Aalia the first time I was forced upon her.

  Know that it was neither mine nor her choice. Mia did what was demanded of her to protect you and Makala. Though she has grown fond of me, she has never stopped loving you. Charlie, no one has been forced upon Makala. She was never meant to be a part of this. I have protected her from the others.

  I have tried these many months to find a way to return the girls to you. As long as my father lives, it remains impossible. If Miakoda continues to have the influence over his followers she has had, he may eventually lose control completely. Pray it becomes so. Until then, I will continue to protect the girls and your son.”

  I handed the letter and picture to Charlie. I felt tears fall. “I’m a father, Dad.”

  My father hugged me. “I know,
Son.”

  “They’re so tiny. Mia’s been gone just over eight months, making them early. If they needed medical treatment, maybe there’s a record somewhere.”

  “I’ve already spread the word. Thus far, there is no response. I sent a report to every state to check the hospitals for twin newborns.

  My question is, who would know Mia’s Indian name? It was never used by the media? As far as I know, only our tribe members and the people who attended your wedding would know that name.”

  I looked at my father in horror. “You don’t think one of our people took her, do you? What reason would anyone have to do that? I had no enemies among our tribe.”

  “I don’t know, Kotah. I had a few, being Police Chief, though I can’t think of any who would hate me enough to do this. Yet I’m convinced it is an Indian that took the girls. When is the last time you saw this kind of camera used? I think a res is probably one of the only places you could find film for such an antique.

  Aalia is an Indian name. I don’t know anyone by that name, do you?” Dad asked.

  After giving it, some thought I confessed, “No, no one.”

  “I think we should call Chase and put our heads together. Maybe he can think of something we’re missing.” I felt the first glimmer of hope we’d had in a very long time. My dad made the call, then we piled in his police car and headed over to the Circle C.

  My mom, Paul, CJ, Penny, and Denise were waiting when we arrived. Beth had coffee ready. We all sat at the large table in their dining room. We passed around the picture and letter. Penny was the first to comment. “Mia had twins? She looks happy about it. Whoever wrote that must be lying. How could they not both be yours?”

  My mother was the one to explain. “He’s not necessarily lying. Sometimes paternal twins are conceived at different times. In cases of hyper ovulation, multiple eggs are released. Sometimes that happens even with a few days in-between. After one egg is fertilized and begins to travel to the uterus for implantation, another egg is fertilized by sperm from a later incident of sexual intercourse.”

  I felt my face flush with anger. “So the person who wrote this, the person who said he was forced upon her, raped my wife right after they took her.”

  Mom blanched. “Oh, Kotah, I’m sorry that was a very thoughtless, clinical explanation. Most likely, the babies are both yours.”

  “Don’t bother, Mom. If Mia thinks the other twin belongs to someone else, it probably does. Besides, if it were mine, she would have named it after someone we know.”

  Overtaken with rage, I got up fast, knocking my chair over. I had hoped that part wasn’t true. My father put his hand on my shoulder. “I’m sorry, Kotah.”

  “I need some air.” Setting the chair right, I left the room. I went outside, pacing up and down the driveway. I couldn’t help thinking of the picture. Penny's words “she looks happy” kept repeating in my head.

  Charlie came out. “Hey man, you alright?”

  “Mia did look happy. I’ve been dying inside. More every day. How could she look happy? I mean, I didn’t want her to be suffering, but Great Spirit, what do I want?”

  “Mia, just had your baby, man. Of course she was happy. Makala looked happy too. We know they aren’t being hurt. Their alive, man. We knew they were, but think about how they were when they first came from home from Texas. You were there. Makala was sick, drug-addicted, and dying. Now, even in captivity, she looks healthy.”

  I took several deep breaths. “When we found Mia, I had to pull two bullets out of her. One she took for me. Your right, Charlie, I should be grateful she’s in good shape. I just can’t help wondering, what if, after having that guys kid, she doesn’t want to come home?”

  Charlie clasped my shoulder. “You know Mia better than that. I don’t understand what’s going on. I mean, it’s clear that guy cares about her and Makala. He seems to regret taking them from us. He probably fell in love with Mia like everybody does. Even I did.

  But I’ve seen how much Mia loves you, man. You have to have faith in her. That’s how CJ lost her. Don’t make the same mistake. CJ regrets it to this day. He thinks if he hadn’t screwed up when Penny came back to town, none of these terrible things would have ever happened to Mia.”

  I smiled weakly. “I don’t know; she’s really good at attracting trouble.”

  Chase and my dad came walking towards us. Holding up the picture, Chase said, “I know where they are.”

  I looked at him anxiously, “How, where, we have to go get her, them.”

  “Slow down, Son, let Chase explain.”

  “I know that tree and the pond in the background. I grew up swimming in that pond. It’s on the Ute Reservation. Aalia was the name of a good friend of mine when I was growing up. I know exactly who had her taken…”

  I answered before he could. “Jackson! Great Spirit, we’re so stupid. How could we not have thought of that?”

  “That’s only fifty or so miles from here. Only ten if you go across the country. They’ve been right under our noses this whole time? How could we not have felt that?” Charlie exclaimed. The anguish in his voice was as evident as mine.

  “All that matters now is we know where they are. Let’s go bring them home.” I declared.

  “Boys, we can’t just storm in there. We have no legal standing on that land. Besides, Jackson’s a son of a bitch. You know he killed Mia’s parents. He almost killed her. Her display of bravery at the Powwow must have impressed him. He decided she had value to him. We have to play this smart, or there will be bloodshed.”

  “I don’t care about bloodshed. I just want my wife back!” I roared.

  “What if the blood is Mia’s, Makala’s, or even your babies.”

  My eyes widened. Chase couldn’t be serious. “He wouldn’t.”

  “Yes, Dakota, he would. He doesn’t take losing well. Let me contact him and arrange a meeting.” Charlie and I reluctantly agreed.

  The meeting was set for three days later. I tried to argue that we couldn’t wait that long, except everyone pointed out after this long, three more days weren’t much if it meant the girls were returned home safely. It was easy for them to say. It wasn’t their wife missing; it was mine.

  I gave in when even Charlie thought it was the best option. Jackson had the gall to invite us to the initiation of his great-grandchildren into the tribe. He informed us that my marriage to Mia had been annulled under Ute and state law, and she was now married to his son, Bodaway, and had borne him children.

  Evidently, Jackson was unaware one of the twins was mine. It was probably safer that way. He told us that under Ute law, divorce was not legal; however, since the white girl wasn’t of Ute blood, she would be returned to us if we still wanted her.

  Miakoda, however, would remain with her people where she belonged. CJ, Pete, and I all said, “Over our dead bodies.” at the same time.

  Chase and my father said, of course, they had no intention of allowing Jackson to keep Mia; nonetheless, we must be careful. Jackson’s braves were trained killers and had no problem following orders.

  We were allowed to bring ten of our clan members to the “celebration.” We brought Chief Blake, CJ, Peter, Paul, Charlie, Dan, my father, Chase, and Donnie. Father had refused him at first until Donnie insisted if he was old enough to be a pack member, he had a right to come. I was proud of my little brother, though I was a little surprised when my father gave in.

  It turned out to be the longest three days of my life.

  ∞ ∞ ∞

  Visitors – Mia

  We were heading home after a long ride. The babies were sound asleep on our backs. Fury, who was very protective of the twins and guarded over them constantly, was perched on my shoulder.

  Although I was feeling unusually tired, we were already late and needed to get changed before the big event. Tonight, the babies would be accepted into the tribe. Everyone was already heading for the meeting circle.

  There was food being set out on long tables and wild b
oar roasting in the pits. We went straight home where Makala was waiting. She offered to get the babies ready while Bodie and I showered.

  I knew she’d been waiting to spend time with them. She loved them almost as much as we did. Bodie and I took advantage of the time to share a very long, very, very satisfying shower. I was wearing a traditional Ute dress that had been my mother's. It fit perfectly. Bodie wore a traditional Ute outfit as well.

  Makala wore a sundress and shawl. I nursed the twins before we headed to the ceremony. After settling them in their papooses on mine and Bodies backs, we made our way across the field. The twins never fussed. If only they would sleep at night, I thought as I stifled a yawn. The last few days, I’d been feeling somewhat rundown, tired, and achy. I wished I was taking a nap instead of going to this celebration.

  As we crossed the field, we noticed a commotion. A crowd had gathered on the far side of the grounds. Fury landed on my shoulder as we followed the crowd to see what was going on. We were walking hand and hand and hand as always. Even though Bodie had never had sex with Makala, they were very close.

  I suspected eventually, when Makala realized we would never be going home, we might cross the line to becoming a threesome. It wouldn’t have bothered me since sex was the only thing the three of us didn’t share. In front of all others, we kept up the pretense of being together in every way.

  Being behind most of the crowd, I couldn’t see a thing. As the people in front of us moved to find seats, clearing the way for us, I looked up and froze. “Oh God, why are they here?” Makala and I both started shaking. “Bodie, we can’t let Jackson and the others hurt them. Please.” I begged desperately.

  Bodie pulled us both close. “I will not, I promise. Before you panic, let us go see what is going on?” I nodded despite the sense of dread I felt growing inside me. As we walked forward, Bodie kept his arm around us both protectively.