Without Forever: Babylon MC Book 5

by James, Victoria L.

  The men around us cheered, but I couldn’t hear a word a single one of them said.

  Ayda relaxed into me, the hand not holding the flowers rising to run over my cheek as she returned the kiss with just as much enthusiasm. When she slowly pulled away, she kept her eyes closed, and her smile was bright.

  Then she unleashed the sea of blue on me. “Hi,” she whispered.

  “Fuck, hi,” I whispered right back, a wave of laughter rising from the crowd, no doubt at my toothy grin. “You look sensational. Out of this world.”

  A single tear escaped the corner of her eye. “You stole my line.”

  I held her hand in the air and took a step back, looking her up and down like I wanted to eat her… because I really fucking did. So many things ran through my mind. I wanted to ask her how she’d made it possible to look better than she did when she was riding my dick, but I was trying really hard to keep this moment semi-pure for her. A fairy tale. The dream she deserved. The start of a brand new chapter and adventure for both of us.

  “I could fuck you right here, right now,” I let slip. Dammit.

  She let out a quiet laugh, her cheeks turning pink as her own hunger flared in her baby blues. “How about you marry me first. Maybe later, you’ll get lucky.”

  Tate’s groan of disgust only made my smile brighter as I stared at Ayda, giving her those bedroom eyes of mine she told me turned her legs to jelly.

  “I’m already lucky,” I told her, lowering her arm down and bringing her to my side to place a kiss on her forehead.

  A rough cough forced out to grab our attention came from the officiant in front of us, and I looked up to find a familiar face smirking back at me as he stood there under an iron arch, which was covered in leafy twigs. His hands were clasped in front of him, and it was nice to see him wearing a suit that made him look more human than cowboy.

  “Let me know when you’re ready. It’s not like I’ve nowhere else to be,” Sutton mocked, his brow rising high.

  “If you weren’t the man about to marry us, you know where I’d tell you to go, don’t you?”

  “I have a feeling it would begin with F and end in—”

  “That’s right,” I interrupted on a laugh, squeezing Ayda’s hand in mine one last time and taking another look at her. The two of us had chosen Sutton to go through the ordeal of becoming ordained. He was the only man among our family committed and intelligent enough to pull it off without any swearing involved—although he almost came close.

  “You ready?” I asked Ayda softly.

  “I’ve been ready for a long time.”

  “God, me too, darlin’.”

  Chapter Fifty

  AYDA

  I’d never felt more confident and clear-headed in my life. Having Drew next to me, holding my hand as Sutton began the ceremony was like a ship being put to anchor.

  I felt good, happy, and so alive.

  I heard the formal part of the ceremony as though it was a song playing in the background. Most of my focus seemed to be on the man holding my hand, smiling over at me with as much happiness and rightness as I felt in every pore of my body. As much as I tried to concentrate on the ceremony so I could hold it in my memories, I always found my attention drifting back to Drew. I could only imagine how dewy-eyed and love-struck I must have looked.

  As Howard Sutton read through the usual formalities, I finally relented and let my eyes stay on Drew, my future finally rolling out in front of me in a happy image of laughter, love, and children. When he turned and met my eyes again, all I could do was stare back in wonder at the man.

  “Ayda?” Sutton whispered quietly.

  “Hmm?” I said, hearing a small chuckle from our friends.

  “Your vows?”

  My cheeks warmed again, and I closed my eyes for a moment to center myself as I beat back the sudden surge of emotions that rushed forward. I couldn’t remember why I’d insisted on going first now. Not until I met Drew’s eyes again and let myself drown in them for a moment.

  “Right,” I said, letting out a long, steadying breath. “Drew, I think I loved you before I’d even met you. You were like this beautiful dream I forgot to have, a longing wish I’d forgotten to make. You were the perfect future I never saw coming. From the first time I met you, you’ve surprised the hell out of me, and you’ve kept me on my toes every day since.” I stopped, my throat growing thick with emotion as tears blurred everything in my line of sight but him. “We’ve been through the worst of times, both alone and together, but we’ve also been through some of the best. No matter what was thrown at us, no matter what we endured, we did it together, and it only made the two of us stronger, both individually and as a couple. You know, from the moment you kissed me under the bleachers at Babylon High, I figured out two unshakable facts that have never once changed from that moment. I knew you would always be my shelter in the storm, and I knew I would belong to you for the rest of my life, whether you wanted me or not. Thank God you did,” I added with a full, tearful smile. “You consumed me in every way possible. You make me feel safe, you make me feel loved, and when you look at me, sometimes I feel like we’re the only two people on the planet. The more time we spend together, the more I know my life will never be a life worth living without you in it. I’m yours, Drew. I’ve always been yours, and I always will be. I’ll weather every storm by your side. I’ll be your can when you can’t because you’re my person, forever.”

  Drew’s eyes were heavy with unshed tears, but he wore them with pride, his smile fixed in place as he reached up and brushed his thumb under my eye and rested his palm against my cheek, holding me when he knew I needed him the most.

  “Drew?” Sutton urged him to go.

  Pushing his lips together, he rolled them back and forth, his nostrils flaring before he swallowed and unleashed his smile on me again.

  “There’s an intimacy in me that I never knew existed before you brought it out. The thought of speaking this way in front of my brothers would have sent me shrinking into a dark corner only twelve months ago. Now, here I am, ready and willing, desperate to let all the things I need to say to you fall free. That’s what you do to me, Ayda. There was a version of me that existed before you, and that man was robotic, hard, miserable, and always seemed to be searching for some warmth. I could never find the warmth. The whole world seemed heavy and cold until you opened your mouth outside your home that night—the night you caught my attention. I haven’t looked back since.” He blew out a breath. “No other woman would have stood by me the way you have. No other woman would have forced me to believe in myself when all I wanted to do was fail, admit defeat, and give up on everything. You saw something in me before I saw it in myself. More importantly, you saw something in us, and you fought for us, baby. You fought for us and showed me what true strength is. This life you’ve accepted as your own hasn’t been easy on you. At times, it’s broken me to see the way you’ve been tested and forced to endure things you should never even have witnessed. But through all of that, I’ve looked on at you in awe because I’ve never seen another human being heal hearts the way you do. I’ve never witnessed anyone hold a group of men together the way you do. I’ve never wanted to be everything for someone the way I want to be everything for you. I’m stronger now. Life is brighter, and I’m a man I never knew I could be. So, my vow to you is that I’ll be everything you need me to be and more. You’ll never have to doubt my love. You’ll never have to question my adoration. You’ll never have to lay awake at night wondering if we’re going to go the distance because I can promise you with every beat of my heart that you’re it until the day I die. You’re my girl. My wife. My old lady.” He paused and released his slow smirk. “You’re my darlin’.”

  For a moment, I couldn’t breathe. He had stolen my breath away. I couldn’t see him through the tears that slowly tracked down my cheeks, but I felt him everywhere. Felt his words coursing through me.

  It seemed to take a moment for anything to happen. Even Sutton
let off a subtle cough of his own before he continued. I listened to what was going on better now, but my eyes stayed on that magical color of Drew’s, even when we exchanged our rings. Truthfully, I really wasn’t sure that I wanted to see anything but him for the rest of my life.

  If nothing else stayed with me from the whirlwind that was our wedding day, I knew his vows would be with me in my heart for eternity. Drew Tucker had effectively ruined me for anyone but him in this life and any other life that followed.

  I could tell we were getting close to the end of the ceremony when the buzz started working through every one of our family and friends. It was like an electrical current that beat over the two of us and even pushed Sutton along, his words coming in a steady rhythm until he stopped altogether and smiled down at the two of us looking nothing short of satisfied.

  “By the powers vested in me by the great state of Texas, I now pronounce y’all husband and wife,” he said, rocking back on the heels of his boots for a moment before raising a hand as though to ask what we were waiting for. “You can kiss your old lady now, Drew.”

  And boy, did Drew kiss me…

  Chapter Fifty-One

  DREW

  Husband and wife.

  Those three words set me on fire.

  When I pulled away from our kiss, I opened my eyes to take her in.

  “Happy forever, darlin’,” I whispered.

  “Forever,” she whispered, her smile so big she’d made herself some dimples. “Doesn’t sound long enough to me.”

  Before we could say anything else, Slater was slapping me on the back, and Tate was reaching out for Ayda, the two of us holding hands as we turned and laughed along with our friends.

  Ayda’s grip never loosened on my hand as she was passed between friends and family alike, unwilling to give up the physical connection between us for a second.

  As we made our way down the aisle, the men reached out to congratulate us both, revving their bikes in celebration. I’d never felt such a natural high before. It was a buzz no amount of whiskey or drugs could ever provide. It was like winning the jackpot of life, and my prize was holding onto me with everything she had.

  Before long, we’d reached the end of the aisle where Eric stood, tall and proud, an older version of me with his silver flecks running through his combed back hair, and his old cut on his shoulders. It was the smartest I’d ever seen him. The happiest, too.

  “Congratulations,” he said, stepping in to kiss Ayda on the cheek. “Welcome to the Tucker family. I have a feeling you’re going to run this show better than either of us ever did.”

  “Couldn’t be happier about being a part of the family,” she practically sang at him, squeezing my hand as she bounced on her toes, full of energy.

  Eric turned to me and held his hand out. “I’m proud of you, son,” he said softly, and something about those words on that day made another part of that wall around my heart fall down. As much as I hated to do it, I broke from Ayda, stepping forward to my father and wrapping my arms around him to slap him on the back three times.

  He’d done things for me when I thought I needed to hate him.

  I knew he’d do them all again if he had to.

  It took him a moment, but eventually, I felt the rise of his arms before he gripped me tightly and hugged me right back.

  “Cheers, Dad,” I said so only he could hear. “Wouldn’t be the same without you here.”

  “Give it a rest already.” He sniffed, clearing his throat and pushing me away.

  My laughter was quiet as I stood back and reached for Ayda’s hand again.

  Eric pretended to look over his shoulder at something before he rubbed his forearm over his eye. Those damn allergies, I thought with a smile on my face.

  Deeks slipped through the crowd with a black box in his hands, breaking the emotional tension running between Eric and me. Deeks looked proud as he held it in his arms so Ayda could open it. He watched eagerly with the rest of The Hounds around us as Ayda teared up all over again when she pulled out a small cut from the confines of it. She released my hand and held it up, staring at the patch on the back with TUCKER embroidered under it.

  “Tradition,” Moose grunted with a nod of his head. “Old ladies get cuts.”

  Ayda turned her glassy blue eyes on me and pulled the leather on over her dress with a smile.

  “I like this tradition,” she said, picking up my hand. “What do you think?”

  “I think you’re in danger of giving me a heart attack. Jesus, Ayda. Quit getting hotter.”

  Her smile grew coy as she studied my face, her tongue darting out and brushing over her bottom lip suggestively. Running her hands down the leather that hugged the subtle curve of her waist, she let out a satisfied sigh. “You gonna take me for a ride?”

  “Yeah, but not the kind of ride you had in mind,” I muttered, moving closer and grabbing her hips. “Is it time for bed yet?”

  “That was exactly where my mind was,” she teased.

  “All right, you two, enough of that,” Slater said, pushing through the crowd to come and peel us apart. I eyed him like I hated him, groaning as he looked at me like the smug bastard he was. “Sorry, pres, but rumor has it we have a little party to attend. I’m under strict orders from Autumn to keep your asses in line.”

  “Who died and made Autumn boss?” I scowled, half joking, half not.

  “I believe Harry did,” Autumn said, making her way toward us with a smile on her face. “And he left us all with very strict instructions of what you had to do to not mess this up and give your loving wife the wedding of her dreams.”

  “Pretty sure her dreams include me fucking her and calling her my wife over and over again, but whatever.”

  “Not a mental image I needed.” Slater groaned.

  I smirked, turning back to Ayda with raised brows. “Sorry, darlin’. What Harry wants Harry gets. I’ll take you for a ride later.”

  The bikes behind us revved and began to move around us, and I took a moment to look around as everyone walked on by, making their way across the yard. The smile on my face was ridiculous—a smile I couldn’t ever remember setting free before that very moment.

  Every man and woman I adored was there, surrounding us with their love.

  Deeks. Slater. Jedd. Kenny. Moose. Sutton. Tate. Rubin. Eric. Autumn. Everyone who mattered wore a look of pure happiness on their face because of us.

  Because of my wife. The woman looking at me like she couldn’t believe all this was real.

  “Who knew loving you could feel this good?” I said, pulling her close for one final moment of intimacy before we were to be dragged away to the party.

  “I can’t stop smiling,” she confessed quietly, ignoring the groans from our friends as she allowed herself to be pulled into my embrace. Wrapping her arms around my waist tightly she squeezed again. “I didn’t know I could be this happy.”

  “I haven’t shown you anything yet.” I smiled and pressed my hand to her stomach.

  Chapter Fifty-Two

  AYDA

  I was reluctant to let go of Drew, even as we were ushered into the huge barn we’d built where the training room had once stood. It was destined to become the training room again, but before they’d ordered the equipment, Janette and Autumn had commandeered the space for our wedding reception. One end of the building was opened up to the new lawn area where a bonfire, more lights, flowers, and mason jars were dotted between seating areas and several coolers were filled with drinks.

  It looked amazing.

  The lights continued inside the barn, the same weaving pattern working their way between the exposed beams, while lanterns hung cheerfully, casting romantic lighting over the tables. It was like they’d pulled every dream I’d had and made it into a realization. In the center of it all was a log-lined dance floor lit only by the mason jars with candles. It was perfect in every way.

  Drew led me to the table that was very clearly set aside for the two of us. Behind it was
a banner that had the reaper and hounds nestled in a bed of flowers, which matched the ones we’d used for the wedding. It was a way of making the club a part of our wedding. As I stared up at it in awe, I couldn't help thinking it would make an amazing tattoo one day.

  After the baby was born, of course.

  We’d barely taken our seats when Slater and Jedd came and stole Drew with a promise to return him soon. Most of the guys were congregated around a cooler of beer, anyway. This was our day, and I wanted him to enjoy every aspect of it as much as I did. So I gave him a long lingering kiss and issued a warning to Slater to behave, and then I watched him go, beaming a smile at him when he glanced over his shoulder.

  My kid brother soon slid into the seat next to me. He sprawled out with his long legs and crossed them under the table, shooting a lazy smile in my direction. He’d been spending so much time with Rubin and the girls lately, and I hadn’t seen much of him. He was making the most of the summer before football training started again.

  “You know what this means, don’t you?” he asked, rolling his head in my direction and grinning with all his boyish charm.

  “With no context, call me clueless. How about you enlighten me?” I teased, ruffling his hair and chuckling when he swatted my hand away and twisted from my reach.

  “I’m the last standing Hanagan. The only hope to carry on the family name.”

  “God help us all.”

  “Hey.”

  “It’s okay. You’re sixteen. There’s hope for you yet.” I studied his face. I wasn’t sure if he was hiding hurt about that under his bravado because he was unreadable as we stared at one another. He’d grown up so much in the last year, and it was almost hard to find the punk kid hiding under the weight of new responsibility he’d taken on for himself.

  “What?” he asked, his palm flattening his hair down.

  “Does it bother you?”