Think Twice

by Stephanie Rose

  “My dad always talks about that play, too. He was impressed, even if it was against the Giants.” My sister shook Jake’s hand, but he kept hold of it for a beat too long. The clenching in Dylan’s jaw made me to do a double take. The way Jake leered at PJ pissed me off too, but there was something in Dylan’s rigid stance that didn’t make sense.

  Jake was a nice enough guy, but he was in his thirties, and my sister was only eighteen. Much to my and our dad’s dismay, PJ was a beautiful girl who turned heads all over the place. I liked Jake well enough, but I’d beat him with his own crutch before he tried to make my sister into a groupie.

  “How often do you come to visit your brother? I would have noticed you before.”

  “Not that often,” Dylan answered, the wonder in his voice now replaced with irritation.

  “No offense, but I wasn’t asking you.” Jake laughed, arrogant and hearty, and I marveled at the brass balls this dude had as he moved closer to PJ. “Maybe next time you come to visit Jack, you could make some time for me—”

  Dylan shot up from where he sat on the bench and in two short strides was in Jake’s face. “Take the hint and back off, asshole.”

  He chortled before backing away, his hand raised in defeat. “Noted. See you at the weights, Jack.”

  Dylan glared at Jake’s departure, giving PJ a possessive yank into his side. I gaped at them both as the big mystery unfolded before me.

  Dylan was my sister’s secret; a secret they’d kept from everyone, including me, for who knew how long. I exhaled a long breath as I willed myself to calm down.

  “My dad is going to kill you.” I leveled my eyes at Dylan, fighting to keep the quiver out of my voice. “You know that, right?”

  Dylan shrugged before he picked up PJ’s hand and laced their fingers together. “Probably,” he answered me but kept his gaze on my sister. “She’s worth it.” He brought their joined hands to his lips with an easy—more established than my eyes wanted to see—intimacy. “She’s worth everything.”

  How long had this been going on? Was I that lousy of a brother? I was into my own problems and self-pity that I didn’t have a single clue. I’d promised to always protect her, but protecting her from Dylan? He was a threat I’d never seen coming in a million years and wasn’t prepared for. The thought of Dylan and PJ while she was underage had bile rising in the back of my throat.

  My sister’s sheepish eyes met mine. “You’re mad, aren’t you?”

  “I don’t know if I’d call it mad,” I answered honestly. I sure as shit wasn’t thrilled, but showing her how I really felt wouldn’t do anything but make her shut down and not speak to me at all. I was weirded out and pissed at Dylan for taking advantage of the crush we all knew she had on him, but I wasn’t mad at her. I was too worried about her to be mad. “Is this why you all of a sudden don’t want to go away to school?”

  She shrugged before looking up. “I never wanted to go to San Diego. Not really. Mom and Dad are happy I’m staying home.”

  “Mom and Dad know something is up. They don’t know why you changed your mind about going away or where you’re sneaking off to every night.” I cocked an eyebrow as my stomach turned. Dylan was there the day she came home from the hospital as a baby. PJ sat between us for hours on end, holding a fake controller so she could “play” video games with us when she was only a toddler. I’d always thought he had the same brotherly feelings toward her as I did, and now they were together. The whole thing made my skin crawl. He was someone I’d considered a brother for most of my life, but as it turned out, I didn’t know him at all.

  PJ’s watery gaze made me stumble as she pleaded with me. “I need you on my side.” She grabbed my hand, her voice quivering. My sister’s suffering was always my kryptonite. Her voice would shake along with her tiny jaw, and I’d give her whatever she wanted. “You know Dad will freak out.”

  “Freak out?” I coughed out a humorless laugh. “Dad is going to lose his fucking mind.” I kept my voice as even as I could to hide the fact I was losing my own goddamn mind. My gaze slid to Dylan’s for a moment. “How could you do this?” I asked him through gritted teeth. He wouldn’t look away. In fact, the stone-cold gaze he shot back at me seemed almost expectant. He knew I wanted to let him have it, but I couldn’t.

  “We’re in love, Jack.” It took me a long minute to turn toward my sister’s voice. Her body was rigid, but there was no missing the fear in her eyes as they searched mine.

  “In love?” I huffed, my jaw clenching so hard my neck cramped. “PJ, you’re eighteen fucking years old. What do you know—”

  “She knows, and so do I.” Dylan spoke for the first time since claiming my sister in front of Jake. “I love her. You don’t have to like it or even understand it, but you won’t dismiss it.”

  I shot him an icy glare and dropped my head into my hands, my turbulent brain frazzled as it tried to make sense of the bomb dropped into my lap only a few minutes ago.

  My best friend and my teenage sister … the sickening thought rolled back and forth in my brain. For the first time, I was grateful for my bad leg. It was the only thing keeping me from popping off the bench and leveling him out.

  “You don’t know what you’re doing,” I whispered before I craned my head toward PJ, her trembling jaw telling me I was fucked. I could fight with Dylan and warn him away from PJ, only succeeding fueling whatever was between them. PJ was the most headstrong person I knew, and letting myself freak out in front of her would only make her hate me.

  “Jack, please,” she repeated, and just as I hadn’t refused her anything in eighteen years, I let out a defeated sigh and nodded.

  Her shoulders slumped with relief before she lunged at me, cinching her arms around my neck.

  “I love him, Jack,” she whispered in my ear. “And he loves me, too.”

  I wrapped my arms around her. “You have to tell them before they catch you,” I whispered back as I glared at Dylan over her shoulder. He met my eyes without the decency of contrition in his gaze, or shame. He knew I had a lot more to say than what I was letting come out of my mouth, and when she was out of earshot, he’d hear it all.

  My baby sister. My baby fucking sister. My grip tightened around PJ as the anger in my system came to a boil. If any other much older guy tried to date my sister, I’d kick his ass without hesitation. The fact that it was Dylan, someone I not only knew but trusted with my sister, made it that much worse.

  “Listen,” I started as I pulled back. “You guys should get going. I have group session this afternoon, anyway. We’ll talk later, okay?”

  Her face fell after I cut our visit short, but I needed time for it all to sink in before I asked Dylan exactly what the hell was going on. At the moment, I was too keyed up and was afraid of doing or saying something I couldn’t take back.

  We all stood from the bench, the air full of a thick tension wafting over us. “Okay,” PJ croaked before dropping her gaze to the ground.

  “Hey,” I cupped her cheek. “Biggest and best, remember?”

  A smile ghosted her lips before she nodded. “You love me biggest and best. I know, Jack.”

  “Well, don’t forget it.” I planted a kiss on her forehead before turning to Dylan. I extended my hand, no bro hug this time. It was a stranger’s goodbye, because at that moment, that’s what my best friend became.

  “Talk later?” He had the decency to offer a sheepish wince this time.

  I nodded, my jaw cinched too tight to voice a reply.

  He nodded, and joining PJ, looped his arm around her as they walked toward the parking lot.

  Guilt washed over me for lying to my sister. I assured PJ everything would be okay, even though I knew it would be anything but.

  17

  Dylan

  “How long?” Jack asked the second I answered the call, not even giving me a chance to say hello.

  PJ and I had gone to visit Jack today resolute in finally telling him—telling someone for God’s sake—about us.
We didn’t sneak around on purpose, but I wanted to be there when she told her parents, and they needed to be told about us before they saw us. Her mother would come around, but her father’s first reaction, even though he was like a father to me too, would be to rip me apart. We needed to handle this the right way, but so far, we weren’t handling it at all. The love I had for this girl was bone deep and real. Were the details of it unusual? Maybe—maybe not. I wasn’t the first guy to fall in love with his best friend’s little sister. She was legal, but only recently legal, so I’d expected this question a few times when people found out.

  “Her eighteenth birthday,” I replied as I sat back on my couch, wishing I could see his face.

  When we told him, or he’d figured it out during our visit, we didn’t speak. But knowing him as I did and seeing how his hands shook as he looked between us, I knew he had a hell of a lot to say. The conversation was far from over.

  “So nothing before?”

  “Nothing. I went to Dewey’s the night of her birthday to make sure she was all right, and the both of us—”

  “My stomach has already turned a thousand times since you left this afternoon; I don’t need any details. And I’m sorry, dude, but I don’t believe it. You guys sure as hell don’t seem like it’s only been a few weeks.”

  “It has,” I clipped but took in a quick breath. Fighting or being defensive wouldn’t help us. “If you’re asking if I had feelings for her before, yes I did—for a long time. But I never acted on it. In fact, I stayed away from her as much as I could.”

  “I figured that much. So now you want a medal or something for not touching my underage sister? Jesus, Dylan. I … I can’t wrap my head around this. You’ve known her since she was a baby. And now you’re … with her. It’s sick. You don’t find any of this fucked up?”

  “No, Jack. I don’t. I tried like hell not to fall for her and even stayed away from her this past year, but it didn’t work. You’re her brother, but who she’s with isn’t up to you. She’s not a little girl, anymore.”

  “She’s not a woman either, man. She’s eighteen, still a goddamn teenager. Yes, I knew she had a crush on you. Hell, you’d have to be blind not to see it. We all knew. But I never thought you’d take advantage of her like this.”

  “Take advantage?” I bellowed, my gloves coming off. “Christ, Jack. Is that what you think I’m doing?”

  “I wouldn’t say this in front of her, because you know as well as I do if I did anything other than give you guys my blessing, she’d hate me. But you’re eight years older than her. You’re from two different worlds right now, but all she wants to do is live in yours—at her own expense.”

  “PJ isn’t your average eighteen-year-old. She’s mature beyond her years; you’ve always said that.”

  “That isn’t an excuse for you to think it’s okay to touch her.”

  The line fell silent. He was my best friend. But, if we had been in the same room when he made that last remark it would have earned him a cracked jaw. I wasn’t surprised by his reaction but was disappointed all the same.

  “Watch it, Jack,” I growled, trying to keep myself in check. He was in shock, and I doubted he’d ever be totally okay with us. Maybe he didn’t get what PJ and I had, but I wouldn’t let him cheapen it.

  “Look,” he let out a long sigh and I could picture him rubbing his temples as he always did when he had so much to say but had to hold back. Dating PJ was changing the dynamic between us already. “You’re in the picture now, and she’s already changing everything. She’s going to the School of Visual Arts instead of San Diego like she’s been chewing our ears off about for a year. I thought it seemed off when Mom first told me.”

  “She decided to stay on her own, her decision had nothing to do with me or us. You know me, I’d never hurt her.”

  Three more long beats of silence pulsed between us.

  “I know you won’t hurt her on purpose. My sister is a determined little pip-squeak. When she commits, she’s all in. I don’t want her having regrets of giving up everything she wants for a fling.”

  “It’s not a fling, Jack,” I snapped, as my hand balled into a fist. The thought of this being a fling and having it end when summer did was too awful to contemplate for more than a minute or to even hear anyone suggest. “If you don’t believe anything else I say, believe that. She’s not just some girl I’m dating for the summer. I won’t interfere with school or anything else she wants to do, but I’m not going anywhere. No one will understand it, and that’s fine. But you’ll have to get used to it like everyone else.”

  “I’m not who you have to worry about.” He let out a humorless laugh. “Sure, you’ll probably sway Mom eventually, but Dad? You’re doing … I don’t even want to think about what with his Peanut. He doesn’t even approve of her dating guys her own age.”

  “We’ll tell them, and they’ll accept it … sooner or later.” I hoped.

  “I’ll tell you one more thing and just let it be. I don’t like this, but … be careful with her, all right? And make sure you tell our parents before they find out. If they hear from someone else or catch you guys … that will make it all a hundred times worse.”

  “Working on it,” I grumbled as I raked my hand through my hair. Wasn’t that the fucking truth?

  “So, I guess I’ll see you back up here when Dad breaks your leg?”

  I laughed, remembering how I’d made the same joke that … really wasn’t a joke.

  “We’re good?” I asked, cringing at the lag in his response.

  “We are, as long as my sister is.” He sighed into the phone. “I love that pain in the ass. No one hurts her and gets away with it, and that includes you.”

  I smiled and shook my head. Jack had complained about PJ from the day she was born, but she meant everything to him.

  She meant everything to me, too. I’d make everyone believe me … eventually.

  But whether they did or they didn’t, I meant every word I said.

  I wasn’t going anywhere.

  18

  Jack

  I reared back in the cafeteria chair and glanced at my watch. It was already a half hour later than Danielle usually walked in, and I resolved to give up on her in another ten minutes. My hand dragged down my face and I couldn’t help but laugh at myself. These little meetings at night held more significance to me than they should have. We had a great patient and therapist relationship, but at night, things were different. In here, we were just a man and a woman having a chat and skating around the growing pull toward each other. It felt … normal, hopeful. I needed normal and hopeful tonight as I tried to sort out PJ and Dylan along with what the hell to do with my life in a few weeks. The past couple of nights, Danielle had done most of the talking since I was still shaking off the shock of my best friend dating my sister.

  Right before I stood to leave, I groaned at my phone vibrating across the table but smiled when I read the name on the screen.

  “Hey, Uncle Evan.”

  “How’s my favorite godson?”

  Uncle Evan was my father’s best friend, and before Mom married Nick, the only father figure I’d ever known. He only had daughters and always referred to me as the son he never had. He was fun, yet protective. Ever since I could remember, Uncle Evan listened like a friend but gave advice like a parent.

  “Coming along, I guess. I’m walking in therapy, so that’s something.”

  “You bet your ass it’s something.”

  I laughed out loud at his excitement. “With crutches, but—”

  “But nothing. You never could sit still, just like the other Jack I knew. You’ll be running in no time. How’s everything else? I need to get up there to see you, but I’m guessing your parents are there every damn weekend, right? I haven’t seen your sister in a while; I hear she’s staying home instead of going to California.”

  I pinched the bridge of my nose and held in a sigh. If anyone would know how to handle this, it would be him, but the father in
him would feel obligated to tell Dad, and I wouldn’t betray my sister like that. I tried to convince her to tell our parents what was going on, but that was her decision, not mine.

  “Yes, she’s going to School of Visual Arts. If she’s happy, I’m happy. I know better than to argue with her when she makes a decision.”

  “Yes, feisty little thing.” He laughed. “Hey, I know you’re not big on patience, but take it slow and steady up there. Find joy where you can.”

  “Why the long face? Is the machine empty?”

  I lifted my head, and my gaze slid to Danielle’s. Her mouth twitched into a wide smile when her eyes locked with mine. Her dark hair was down for the first time and cascaded over her shoulders in waves. A grin lifted my cheeks as I hoped she missed the gasp falling from my lips. In the rare moments she relaxed, she was so gorgeous, she stole my breath.

  “I am.” I smiled at Danielle as she approached my table. “I better go. Thanks for calling, Uncle Evan.”

  “What kind of godfather would I be if I didn’t check on you? See you soon, kid.”

  I ended the call and reached over to pull out the chair next to me. Danielle always darted her eyes away when I did that, but I still caught the pink rising in her cheeks. A simple, nice gesture surprised her too much. I wished she’d tell me why.

  “Just a long couple of days.”

  “You’ve been quiet.” She dug into a large bag and pulled out two Tupperware containers. “Instead of candy, I thought you could use some cake.”

  “You baked me a cake?” I squinted at Danielle, hiding the twitch of my lips when she handed me my own container and fork.

  “Kyle usually asks for this cake every birthday. I don’t cook or bake a lot, but I make a mean double chocolate cake.” Her lips pursed, and it was all I could do not to grab the back of her head and taste them. “You’ve been a little down in the dumps, and cake always does the trick for me. I planned on surprising you tonight, but one of the surgeons called me late to check on a patient, so I was a little delayed.” She scooted closer and put her hand over my wrist. “I know you’re frustrated at your progress, but I wouldn’t lie to you. You’re moving along in huge leaps and bounds—”