Think Twice

by Stephanie Rose

  I shook my head. “No. Where would you take me, sweet girl?” I turned my head to kiss her palm.

  She giggled, and my chest swelled. I’d follow her anywhere.

  “I took a college art class in the spring, and it was all about Paris and the museums there. We can go on art tours all day, and be naked at night, with beignets in between.”

  My finger traced along the delicate curve of her jaw. “There’s my brilliant girl, trying to make vacation educational.”

  Her head fell into my chest, her shoulders shaking with a chuckle.

  “You’re brilliant and beautiful and amazing. I am never letting you go again. No more breaks.”

  She lifted her eyes to mine, resting her chin on my chest. “Did you really tell my dad you weren’t going anywhere.”

  “I did. I told him no one may understand it, but you’re it for me. No one will ever compare to you, ever.”

  She leaned her elbow on my chest and propped her head on her hand.

  “This is weird, right?”

  I cocked my head and lifted my gaze to hers. “Weird?”

  “To be this sure. The reason why I wanted to get as far away from you as I could was because no one compared to you. I knew I belonged with you, and it made me so angry that I couldn’t be. Now, I am, and nothing is better, and I know nothing ever will be. I know I’m young, and you’re my first … well, first everything. But the way I feel, the way I’ve always felt, I don’t want anyone else, and I never will. I don’t think that’s being naïve.”

  “I feel the same way about you. Even when I wasn’t supposed to. It’s not weird, or you being naïve or young.” I kissed her lips and cinched my arms around her.

  “It’s … right. It always has been, and like you said, that will never change.”

  Except now, what we had didn’t have to be a secret. I could shout it from the rooftops, kiss her and touch her whenever I wanted without worry about who would see and report back. I grabbed her hand, peering down her talented fingers and smiling at the thought of the day I’d cover one with a diamond. The love we had was once in a lifetime.

  And we’d never have to hide it—ever again.

  40

  Danielle

  “It’s not much,” Jack told me over his shoulder after he opened the door and turned on the lights. “But I can’t tell you how much I’ve missed this place. I haven’t been here …” He trailed off before throwing his keys onto his tiny kitchen table. “The last time I was here was … when I left for my last shift.” He exhaled a long breath as his eyes darted around the small space. “Is it weird to get a little freaked out to be back here?”

  “No, it’s not. At all. That was a pretty big trauma you went through. The last time you were here was—”

  “The end of my old life,” he scoffed and shook his head. “I’ll probably make an ass of myself if I ever set foot in the firehouse, again, if I’m this uneasy only thinking about it.”

  “You underestimate yourself a lot.” I closed the tight distance between us and cupped his neck. “Give yourself some time. You have a few more months until you have to think about that. And maybe I’m not your therapist anymore, but I still intend to push you because I know you can do it.”

  A little smile curved Jack’s lips before he kissed my forehead. “If you say so, then it must be true. Give me a second to change, and we’ll head out.”

  “Why do you have to change?” My hand slid down the soft cotton of Jack’s T-shirt.

  “I wanted to take you somewhere nice, and a T-shirt and sweat shorts aren’t what you’d call nice. Especially when you look like that.”

  My eyes rolled as I tried to ignore the heat creeping up on my cheeks. Jack’s molten gaze made me squirm. “It’s a sundress, not a ball gown. You look fine.” My fingers slipped inside the waistband of his gray sweat shorts. “We just ate at your parents’ house. Why do we have to go anywhere. Can’t we just stay here?”

  “I promised you a real date. One that didn’t involve unwrapping our food or exact change. Coffee, a bar, we can go somewhere. Give me a second—”

  I attacked his lips, licking my way into his mouth and groaning when his tongue collided with mine. Jack’s hands glided down my back and cupped my ass before venturing lower and fisting the material at the hem of my dress.

  “I’ll ask you again, and this time, how about you understand what I mean?” I murmured against his mouth.

  “You’re sure?” he asked, half-pleading and dipped his head to meet my gaze. “It’s a big day.” He grinned and drifted his hand down my cheek. “I don’t want to push—”

  I stepped back and lifted my dress over my head, my heart hammering against my rib cage so hard I thought it would burst out of my chest. This hadn’t been my intention for tonight; at least, not consciously. But after years of denying what I wanted because I didn’t feel I was good enough, I wanted to grab my new life with both hands and not waste another second holding back.

  “Wow,” he whispered with so much reverence, my eyes clouded. “You’re so … I can’t …”

  “Did I render you speechless, Taylor?” I slid my arms around his neck, hoping he wouldn’t notice my hands shaking.

  “You’re killing me.” His fingers threaded in my hair before twisting around a fistful. “In the best possible way.” He kissed me long and deep and slow. So slow my nails sank into his back at the torture. Jack laughed against my lips as he walked me backward down the short hall toward his bedroom.

  “I’m not used to having all this room,” he laughed when I fell back on the bed. He peeled his shirt off and I gasped before I could help it. My damp palms drifted over his broad chest and down the sinew of his arms. As amazing as he looked in a T-shirt stretched across his muscular torso, I wasn’t prepared for how gorgeous he was without one.

  “Like what you see?” He nipped at my bottom lip before trailing his mouth down my neck and over my collarbone. My hips bucked off the bed as the tip of his tongue ran over the swells of my breasts. After I rushed out of work, I took extra time with everything before I met Jack tonight. I fretted over every detail: my clothes, my hair, even tearing through my lingerie drawer in an attempt to find something sexy enough. All the while, denying to myself I didn’t intend to be here but hoping like hell we would be. There was no closet door, no chance of interruption, only Jack and me. It excited me as much as it terrified me, but there was no turning back now.

  Jack’s lips grazed my shoulder as he pulled down my bra strap, sucking my nipple into his mouth when I fell out of the cup. I had no words, only whimpers as he brought me closer and closer to the edge.

  “Beautiful,” he whispered against my stomach before his mouth inched lower. I shivered at the sexy curl of his lips when he hooked my leg over his shoulder.

  “Keep your leg here, hold it steady.” He’d repeated my words during so many therapy sessions, smirking as he kissed across my thigh. His thumb grazed over my slit and around the swollen bundle of nerves that pulsed with its own heartbeat. A bead of sweat dripped down my temple as my chest heaved. I cried out when his lips found my core, lapping, kissing, sucking the life out of me and into me. I grabbed the back of his head, still unable to speak. My legs flailed back and forth until Jack grabbed my hips and held me tightly in place.

  “So close,” I breathed out with the little air I still had in my lungs as Jack’s moans vibrated between my legs, the control he’d had moments ago now gone along with mine. He slid two fingers deep inside, and I came hard on a scream. I’d never had an orgasm I could feel in my toes before. The entire lower half of my body shook until my climax subsided.

  Jack climbed up my body, his lips and chin soaked with me, and met my gaze with pained, hooded eyes.

  “I … don’t have anything here. Last time I was here, I was with—I didn’t need …”

  I grabbed the back of his neck, pulling his lips back to mine. Swallowing his moans and tasting myself on his tongue had me aroused all over again.


  “My purse is on your table. There’s a package of condoms in there.”

  He pulled back and squinted at me in disbelief.

  “Just in case.” I let out a nervous laugh.

  Jack’s lips split into a wide grin before he covered my mouth with another messy kiss.

  “God, I fucking love you. Be right back.”

  He stood and raced out of the room.

  I fucking love you.

  I wiped the sticky hairs from my forehead and shook it off. It was probably a heat of the moment admission—like an exaggerated thank you. The old Danielle’s voice still nagged in my ear, saying there was no way he could possibly mean that, but I blinked her away. She’d ruined enough for too long.

  When my eyes opened, Jack was already naked and rolling on a condom.

  “That was fast, Taylor.” I smiled to hide the sudden turmoil in my gut. “I’m impressed.”

  He laughed before kissing me again, this time slow and sweet before filling me with one thrust. I let my head fall back when he was fully seated inside me, inching in and out at a slow pace that drove me out of my mind, again.

  Our eyes locked, and I couldn’t look away. Jack’s face twisted with every thrust, now coming faster and harder and deeper. My eyes watered when he hit a spot deep inside that I didn’t know existed, causing me to pulse around him. My nails dug into his back, his name falling from my lips as if it was all I knew. And it was. He consumed me, even all those years ago. After everything I’d gone through and put myself through, he was my reward.

  Jack’s arm snaked under my waist as his body went rigid. His head fell into the crook of my neck as he called out my name like a prayer. His body slumped against me, as sweaty and sated as mine was.

  His thumb glided along my jaw as a beaming smile lit up his beautiful face.

  “I do love you. Don’t think I didn’t catch the look of shock when I said it. Maybe it’s too soon, but I think we’re past the point of doing things like we’re supposed to, right?” He rested his forehead against mine. “Don’t worry about saying it back yet—”

  “I love you, too.” I smiled and brought my hands to the back of his neck.

  My heart squeezed at the wide grin splitting his mouth.

  “I’ll be right back. Don’t move.” He kissed my cheek and darted into the bathroom.

  My breaths were still slowing as I laid in Jack’s bed alone. Was this what it was like to feel worshipped? To be a priority and not a backup? To be loved, truly loved by a wonderful man? I laughed as I covered my face. To think, I was almost stupid enough to let this all go—to let Jack go. The old Danielle in my head finally shut up for good.

  Jack crawled back in and drew me into his side. “We still need a date. I have nothing but time for the next few months. How about tomorrow night? Tonight,” he whispered against my temple, threading his fingers through my tangled hair. “Tonight, I don’t want to move.”

  “Agreed,” I said on a yawn. My hand drifted down Jack’s hip and down his thigh, tracing my finger along the raised skin on one of his incisions. “I promised you I wouldn’t make predictions, but I think you are going to get back on that truck.” I rested my chin against his chest and peered up at him.

  A sad smile curved his lips. “We’ll see. I still want to, but it’s not the end of the world if I don’t. I found something else to be passionate about. And you’ve seen me at my worst, and you still—”

  “Love you even more for it? Yes.” I pressed a kiss to his chest and cuddled into his side “You’re my hero, Jack—regardless if you’re a firefighter again or not.”

  He loved me at my lowest, too. When I wouldn’t let myself have a life besides work and what I could control. Maybe it would look rushed to some or even inappropriate and wrong for how it started.

  Good thing it didn’t have to make sense to anyone but us.

  41

  Jack

  Three months later

  I groaned at the piercing blare of the alarm and burrowed my head into my pillow.

  “How many alarms go off before you actually get up?” Danielle nudged my shoulder and rested her chin on my forearm. “Time to get back in the work force, Taylor.”

  I chuckled at the sexy smirk tilting her mouth before flipping over and landing on top of her. Leaving my naked girlfriend was a hardship any morning, even when I hadn’t spent half the night tossing and turning.

  “Maybe I won’t. You just got another promotion. I don’t mind being a kept man.” I kissed the tip of her nose and settled between her legs.

  “Yes, you would.” She laughed against my lips. “You’d go insane staying home.” Her smile faded when she cupped my cheek. “There’s no reason for you not to be approved today, or to be up half the night, babe.”

  “Sorry about that,” I winced. “I tried not to wake you.” I rested my forehead on hers. “I don’t know what’s worse, if I’m not approved or if I am.”

  Danielle’s brow pinched before she pulled back. “You’re afraid of getting approved to go back to work? I don’t understand.”

  I settled onto my back and drew her into my side. “What if I’m … not the same?” I let out a long sigh. “What if I’m a risk instead of a help? The doctor won’t be able to tell that today.”

  “Yes, he will.” Danielle pushed up on her elbows and glared at me. “Better yet, I already can. You’re strong, the leg is stable, and you can get right back out there. The world will be a better place because Jack Taylor is in it. Don’t start doubting it now.”

  “I guess … if you say so.”

  She glowered before nudging me in my ribs.

  “Damn right, I say so.” Danielle sat up, tucking the sheet under her arms to cover her chest while she looked for the T-shirt I’d thrown across my bedroom floor.

  “I’ve seen everything already.” I twisted the corner of the sheet and pulled her back. “You don’t need to try so hard to cover it up.” She turned toward me with pursed lips.

  “Well, you need to get up and moving, and so do I. I need to get home and change before work.” She yanked the sheet back and stood from the bed.

  “You wouldn’t if you moved in with me.”

  She stilled without looking back, not uttering a word in reply. Every night, we were in each other’s bed, either at my apartment or hers. Mine was the bigger of the two and cheaper. She’d have a little extra commute time, but it still made sense, or at least, it did to me. Judging by my girlfriend’s ashen cheeks, maybe she needed a little longer to get there.

  I sat up and reached for my boxers next to my nightstand, her knee jerk reaction creating another knot in my stomach.

  “I’ll make coffee while the color comes back into your face.” I forced out a laugh, trying to lighten the mood.

  “Jack,” she whispered as she turned around, not quite making eye contact. “It’s not that I don’t want to. Just, not yet. Okay?” She walked toward me, dragging my sheet and comforter with her. “I love you.” Her lips feathered over mine, lingering a moment before she pulled away.

  I trudged into my kitchen with whiplash. I was all in with Danielle but scared shitless for anything else. My phone buzzed across my kitchen counter after I switched on the coffee pot, my sister’s face flashing on the screen.

  “Since when are you up this early? Aren’t you off from class on Fridays?”

  “It’s an important day! I’m excited for you.”

  “That makes one of us, Peege.”

  “What?” I winced as her shriek pierced my eardrum. “This is what you’ve been working for all this time. Why do you sound like someone ran over your puppy?”

  “Because it’s not that simple. Just because he—” I paused when I heard whispering in the background. “Who’s that? Mom and Dad?”

  “Um … no. I’m not home.”

  “PJ,” I growled. “Tell me you’re not across the street.”

  “So what if I am?” she huffed. “Maybe I came over for breakfast?”

  “At e
ight in the morning? Right. You love to keep pushing, don’t you?” I raked my hand down my face, not needing a third reason for my stomach to turn.

  “They’re in Puerto Rico until Monday, remember? They told me Dylan can’t sleep at our house but didn’t actually come out and say I couldn’t sleep here. Plus, let’s be honest, they probably figure I’d be here anyway. Calm down, big brother. It doesn’t matter.”

  “Yes, little sister, it does. You guys can’t keep rocking the boat—”

  “Hold on,” I could hear her eye roll. Thank God for the two blocks between my apartment and that circus.

  “How’s it feel to finally go back to work? Slacker.” Dylan laughed, and despite the tension pulsing through me, a smile snuck across my lips. We weren’t all the way back into how we used to be, but we were close.

  “I’m not back there, yet. The doctor has to clear me.”

  “No reason why he wouldn’t, right? So, what’s the problem?”

  “No problem,” I lied. “Just a lot on my mind.” I craned my head to see if Danielle was out of my bathroom yet. “I asked Danielle to move in with me.”

  “No shit! That’s gr—wait did she say no?”

  “She said not yet, after she almost passed out from shock. It’s probably too fast. It’s only been a few months.”

  “Do you have doubts? Do you know she’s the one?”

  The air drained from my lungs as I nodded at no one. “I … I don’t, not at all. She is. I guess it makes no sense.”

  “It doesn’t have to make sense to anyone. If you know, then she is. Give her a little time, and stop worrying about every goddamn thing.”

  “This is deep. You’re wise for an asshole.” As long as it took me to start to concede, Dylan and PJ were a good fit. An odd fit, but he was right. They didn’t have to make sense to anyone else. His level head was what my crazy sister needed.

  “I have my moments. Things have a way of working out. Relax, man.”