Ammo and Enchiladas

by BA Tortuga

  “I guess so!” Now that he could laugh about and clap Leo on the back. Suddenly he was surrounded by cops, and he was home. Really home all the way.

  Dios. So many handshakes and names and offers to help him out.

  He couldn’t wait to tell Brant about everything. All of it.

  Lex stopped cold for a moment, then grinned. He’d never, ever wanted to tell someone about his day like this, not even his mama when he was a kid.

  This must be what it was like, being in love.

  His heart kinda… pounded for a moment. Just a moment, though, because the guys allowed little more than that. Everyone had a question about the bombings, really.

  Then it was time to get to work. He went to roll call, met his new partner, Jo, and then checked out his squad car.

  Lex took a deep breath. This he knew. This he got.

  This was just work.

  BRANT WENT through work like a robot, his stress levels so high the only way he could cope was to shut down. His patients deserved better than this, but thankfully everyone was well-baby checkups and common colds and a couple of bad cactus attacks. Poor babies. Festering cholla sucked so hard. At least there were no fire ants.

  Nan and Carol went to lunch with him, and he stopped by the Whole Foods to grab a fancy cake and a couple steaks to celebrate Lex’s first day back to work. He was buzzing with tension about it, absolutely certain Lex was going to get injured somehow.

  Would they even know to call him if something happened?

  Oh.

  Oh, Jesus.

  The thought was harsh enough that he pulled off into a Smith’s parking lot and just breathed.

  His head pounded, the blood in his temples rushing so fast he thought he might pass out.

  Fuck. Fuck, man. I can’t do this. I got to get my shit together.

  He reached for his phone, needing to call Matty, to just talk this out. Brant slammed his hand against the steering wheel. Matt was gone. He couldn’t call.

  His phone rang, and he dropped it, his gorge rising.

  “I swear to God, if you’re calling me from beyond the grave, Matty, we’re not friends no more.”

  When it quit, then started to ring again, he knew he needed to get it. It had to be family. When he looked, he saw Bridey’s name. Fucking brothers and their guts.

  He swiped, slapping the tears from his cheeks. “What’s up?”

  “You tell me, bro.” Bridey sounded downright worried.

  “Another panic attack. Nothing big.” He didn’t bother to ask how Bridey knew. Bridey always knew.

  “You gonna see someone about all this shit?” Bridey wasn’t big on therapy, but he thought it had helped Brant, and he knew it.

  “I…. This is stupid. I just need to get over it.” He leaned his head back. “I’m worried that he’ll get shot.”

  “Who?”

  “Lex.”

  “Well, that’s always a possibility, since I take it he’s back at work?” Bridey was so helpful.

  “Yeah, he started today.”

  “Gotcha. Well, you’re gonna have to get used to it, man. I mean, that sounds callous, but if you want to be with him….”

  “Why do you think I’m out here in a parking lot in my fucking car, asshole?” He wouldn’t let Lex know. No way.

  “Hey! Did I know you were?” Bridey sighed. “Look, I know a little about this, right?”

  “Yeah. Yeah, I hear you. I don’t want to stress him out.”

  “Sure, but you also have to tell him it wigs you out. He’ll know something is wrong and think it’s him and not your freaky ass.”

  “Yeah, and what if he leaves my freaky ass? I’ve been through that.” He didn’t even like to think about that.

  “That doesn’t even bear talking about.” Bridey was very plain about his… ex.

  “No. No, I never think about him.” Except for right now.

  “Well, don’t. Think about Lex and about starting out right.”

  “Right. I got him a cake and I bought steaks.” That was right, right?

  He rolled his eyes at himself. Right, right, right, right. Christ.

  “Oh, good deal. That will make him smile, I bet.”

  “Yeah. Yeah, it will. Mashed or baked potatoes?” He felt himself begin to relax.

  “I would say baked. Did you get bread?”

  “I got salad and a french bread.”

  “Wine?”

  “Yeah.” A nice merlot that he hoped Lex liked.

  “Well, you’re set.” Bridey chuckled, the sound warm. “Just chill, bro. Breathe.”

  “I’m trying. I really… I’m into him, Bubba. Deep.” He was more than into Lex. He thought it was real.

  “Then be honest, huh? Don’t let him think he’s doing something wrong.”

  That was probably good advice. Lex had dealt with a bomber. He probably got post-traumatic stress and shit. He’d think about it. Later. Not tonight. “I’m going to go cook my man supper.”

  “Okay, bro. Go get ’em.”

  “Love you, Bubba. I’ll call tomorrow.” He could breathe. He could do this.

  “Love you.” The line clicked off.

  Time to get home and celebrate Lex’s first day on the job, dammit.

  When he got back to the house, he did all the normal things. Feed the cats. Clean up all the shit Mouse had knocked over. Go through the mail. The routine calmed him even more, and by the time Lex pulled up, he had the grill going, the wine breathing.

  Lex came into the kitchen to give him a kiss. “Hey, baby. Be right back. This uniform itches like crazy.”

  “I’ll be in the backyard. Steaks for supper, okay?”

  “That’s amazing.” Lex’s smile went right to his toes.

  Brant heard Mouse talking to Lex, yowling and bitching all the way down the hall. Oh, someone better put his boots in the closet. They would end up shredded if he wasn’t careful. Or pooped in.

  He chuckled and shook his head. It was hard, being the focus of all that fuzzy feline love, and Mouse was obsessed. Who was he kidding? So was he. Brant hauled the steaks and potatoes out to the grill. He’d parcooked the potatoes in the mic, but he wanted that baked flavor.

  He turned on some music and grabbed the acrylic wineglasses.

  Lex joined him a few minutes later. “What can I do?”

  “Pour the wine? How was your day?” I worried about you.

  “Mostly boring. I did a lot of meetings, paperwork, met Jo, who’s my new partner. All routine.” Lex poured out, then came to hand him a glass.

  “Is he cool?”

  “She.” Lex grinned. “And she’s a baby. Twenty-three, desperate to learn and make a difference. I like her a lot.”

  “Oh, wow.” How did Lex get the rookie? To test him?

  “Yeah, she’s eager, been on the force for eighteen months and has a reputation for being a great cop. You’ll like her. Her wife’s name is Denise. She’s a teacher at Cibola.”

  “Oh, cool.” At least she was family. That would make things easier.

  “Yeah. I think they were throwing her a bone, letting her have someone that understands.” Lex lifted his glass. “Thanks for the wine, baby.”

  “You’re welcome as the flowers in May.” He liked how relaxed Lex appeared, so he went to beg a kiss.

  They stood there for a long moment, their mouths meeting, Lex pushing in to taste him. He wrapped one hand around Lex’s hip, thumb drawing circles.

  “Mmm.” Lex licked his lower lip. “Much better. How was your day, baby?”

  “Just another day in paradise. Two more cholla victims. I wish parents would check their yards better.”

  “Ouch. Poor kids. I had a spray paint and a yard art theft.”

  “Something cool?” He flipped the steaks.

  “A giant chicken.”

  “That’s pretty damn cool.” He had a flying pig and a Godzilla stepping on a gnome.

  “Yeah. The guys want to pool some funds and buy her another one. The lady is elder
ly.”

  “Aww. That sucks. Who the fuck does shit like that?” The same sort that shoot unarmed IT guys for nothing at a gas station.

  “Kids, I bet. We might yet find it somewhere.” Lex stroked his back with the hand not holding wine.

  “I hope so. That’s incredibly uncool.”

  “It is.” Lex shook his head. “I see a lot of that.”

  “I’m sorry.” He didn’t know what to say.

  “That’s what makes it so awesome when we make things better. The captain has me doubling up. He wants me to do some training on interviewing and gathering evidence.”

  “Yeah? That’s great, huh?” For a guy who had a brother who was a rural officer, he knew dick-all about cops.

  “It is. It’s the one thing I lack before I take the detective exam.”

  That he knew. That he got. “That’s not bad at all, then. Do you know what division you want to work in? Hand me the plate.”

  “Well, I’d love Homicide, but I’d take Robbery slash Violent Crimes.”

  That was a sentence you didn’t hear around the barbecue grill every day. “What’s the difference? I mean, I know the definitions. I’m talking about for you.”

  “Well, Homicide is slightly better pay and way better hours, believe it or not. Especially here. I mean, out of over six thousand violent crimes a year, only sixty-one are murder cases.”

  “Wow. If you just brought the average down by a little, you’d only have one murder a week.”

  Lex blinked at him but decided to chuckle. “Right?”

  Yeah, he didn’t want to explore what he meant either. He didn’t know.

  “You want to eat in there or out here?”

  “Out here, if you want. It’s pretty in the shade.” Lex set his wine on the table. “What do I need to get from inside?”

  “The salad? It’s in the fridge.” He checked the potatoes, satisfied with those. “Are your folks tickled that you started back?”

  “They are, though Mama wants me to bring you for supper and is now frustrated by my schedule.” Lex headed inside, then reappeared moments later with salad and bread. “Oh, that reminds me. Travis wants to come over for supper too. We’ll need to do that this week, I guess. I start my four-twos next week.”

  “Right. Sure. Just let me know.” God, he was going to have to write down the schedule.

  “You got it.” Lex took another sip of wine. “Everything smells so good.”

  “Thank you. I think we’re all ready. Let me grab the butter and salt and pepper.” Why did everything feel so stiff? Lex was fine.

  “Are you okay?” Lex asked, jolting him a little with how that echoed his thoughts.

  “I don’t know. I’m a little grumpy, I think.” He could hear Bridey telling him to just confess the truth, but shit and Shinola, he didn’t want to be a titty-baby. “I’ve never been a cop’s lover.”

  “Ah.” Lex’s eyes went knowing, sympathetic. “It was a dull day, baby.”

  “Good.” He drew Lex over for another kiss. “I got you a cake for dessert.”

  “Did you? What kind?” Lex danced him in a slow circle.

  “Chocolate cherry.”

  “Steak, wine, and chocolate cake? You’re so getting laid.”

  Brant laughed, delighted. “Am I? That’s awesome! It’s like having a live-in lover.”

  “Right. I even help feed the cats.”

  “I am a lucky son of a bitch.” And he was going to get over this shit too, if it killed him.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  SADIE’S SMELLED great. The hostess showed Lex to the table where Travis and Brant waited for him, and he hated the fact that he was still in uniform. He’d already left them waiting almost a half hour, though, so he hadn’t wanted to go home and change. He really needed to leave some street clothes in his locker at work.

  “Hey. Sorry I’m late.” He squeezed Brant’s shoulder when he slid into his seat at the table.

  “Hey, Officer. Fancy meeting you here.” Brant grinned up at him, smile only a little bit strained. “Have a chip.”

  “Yum.” He grabbed a chip from the basket so he could dip it in the salsa.

  “We’ve been sitting and telling stories.” Travis grinned at him over a margarita. “I was telling Brant about how you refused to take your cousin Brittany to the prom. How you went with Tomas and we all gawked.”

  Lex relaxed enough to laugh at that. “Well, I had to do something. You saw Brittany’s dress. No way was I going to be in pictures with that.”

  “It was… intense,” Trav agreed.

  “It was yellow.”

  “Bright?” Travis countered, and Brant began to chuckle.

  “Electrical banana, man. Yel. Low.”

  “You would have had to wear a lime green cummerbund and tie to make it go.” Travis waggled his brows.

  “Yeah. Tomas had way better taste.” He ordered an iced tea and a stuffed sopapilla with Christmas. Brant got carne asada tacos; Travis got a bowl of green chile.

  God, it was good to be here.

  “How was work?” Brant asked, those blue eyes watching him a bit too closely.

  “Uh. Long.” He’d been late because of a robbery with a shooting. At a gas station. Not something he wanted to talk to either of them about. Both of them were wounded deeper than Brant for sure wanted to admit.

  It took time, and he wasn’t going to share and open fresh wounds.

  “Bummer.” Travis rolled his eyes. “I had a biting, screaming meltdown today. I mean, not me. A student.”

  Brant met Lex’s gaze, and they both cracked up, just hooting like big stupid loons.

  “Yeah, yeah, I know. With me, you never know.” Travis waved a chip at them. “Shut up.”

  “I never once thought any different.” Brant wasn’t even managing a straight face.

  “How was your day, baby?” Lex grabbed another chip. They needed salt, but Trav hated it when he salted the whole basket.

  “Good. Today was good and normal. Dr. N. only worked half a day, so I spent a while doing paperwork.” Brant offered him a quirky grin. “I got tomorrow off.”

  “Did you, now?” That had promise. Coincidentally, he also had off tomorrow.

  “I did. It’s like a miracle.” Brant’s pretty blue eyes just twinkled, so merry and lit up.

  “Huh, well, we might have to do something special.”

  “Yeah? You have a thought?”

  Travis groaned dramatically. “You two just need to go and fuck like bunnies.”

  “Trav!” He didn’t need that kind of teasing.

  “What? You need to. It’ll make you both better people.”

  Brant nodded sagely. “It will. But right now we’re at supper with you.”

  “You are, and I appreciate it.” Trav sighed and grabbed his drink. “I apologized to Brantley, by the way. He accepted. We’re friends again.”

  “Oh, good.” Lex hoped that was true. They all needed their friends. “I love you both.”

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was a crazy asshole.” Travis winked over.

  “You had your reasons.” Brant nodded once, like that was that.

  Lex nodded too, but he was damn glad this seemed settled. If nothing else, that sort of hurt would fester all up. It had to come out. Which was why he’d have to talk to Brant at some point about what was bothering him so much.

  He knew Brant had a prescription for antianxiety meds, he knew Brant was taking them, and he knew his lover didn’t think he knew.

  This whole thing with Matt was giving Brant fits. It was going to tear him up…. Lex didn’t know whether Brant needed to talk to him or Travis or a doctor, but he needed to let it out. Right?

  They would totally work it out somehow.

  This navel-gazing was all hard.

  Lex dug into the stuffed sopapilla, the green chile bright and the red smoky. Food was way easier.

  Way.

  “So, how’s the job? Are you glad to be back in the Burque?” Travis stole a bi
te of his meat.

  “It’s good. It’s coming home, for sure. Whole different set of crimes, of people.” There was a lot more going on down in the international district, for instance.

  “I don’t suppose anyone’s made any progress with….” Travis trailed off with a sigh.

  No, and no one’s going to. They had nothing—it was one of a hundred thousand desperate men doing desperate things. A dark hoodie. A single gunshot. They had nothing.

  “They’re still really pushing.” Which was true. No one had called it a cold case by any means. He still couldn’t quite meet Trav’s eyes.

  “Have you talked to his mom, Brant? Matt’s, I mean. I haven’t… I ought to, huh?”

  “His birthday is coming up. Maybe.”

  Travis looked a bit stricken, but he nodded. “It is. Oh, wow.”

  “Right?” Brant stared at his tacos for a second. “Okay, new topic. Something less drama-inducing.”

  Travis looked over with a raised eyebrow. “Anyone found any warming lube they like?”

  “You guys need anything else?” The waitress was bright red, but she managed not to laugh, gag, or throw them out.

  “Just some more tea, please?” Travis smiled at her, sweet as pie.

  “You got it.” She left their ticket and fled.

  Lex stared at Trav. “You know I’m still in uniform, right?”

  “Uh-huh.”

  Brant shook his head. “I swear, y’all are so much like brothers.”

  “Yeah. Old friends get that way, right?”

  Travis snorted. “Not that old.”

  “We’re old enough,” Lex countered.

  “It’s not the age,” Brant added.

  “It’s the mileage,” they all finished together.

  “Hell, if that’s it, I’m in deep shit.” Butter wouldn’t melt in Brant’s mouth.

  “You know it.” Lex winked, then took a sip of Coke. “Is it weird to have sopapillas if you had one for supper?”

  “Uh, honey. You’re eating one now….” Brant lifted one eyebrow. “I’m fixin’ to have to take him home, Travis.”

  “He’s had a long day. You can tell from the lines around his mouth. Just to let you in on his secret tell.” Travis patted Lex’s hand. The one not stuffing honeyed bread into his mouth, anyway.

  “Good to know. Are you ready, Officer? It’s time to go home, shower, and nap.”