Make You Feel My Love: A Small Town Romantic Suspense (Wishing For A Hero Book 1)

by Kait Nolan

  “I want you to do so many things to me.”

  “Anything. Everything,” he promised.

  She shuddered as he slid the straps of her dress down her shoulders, tugging until her breasts were bared. He sucked one puckered nipple into his mouth, swirling his tongue as if committing the taste of her to memory. Autumn gripped his hair, holding him in place as he sucked and licked and drove her out of her mind, until she squirmed against the erection she could feel through his pants. So close and yet so far away. With the other hand, she reached between them, trying to work at his belt.

  Judd lifted his head, his eyes glazed with passion as they stared into hers. “Autumn.” A wealth of questions lay that single, rasped word. Slow down. Think about this. Are you sure?

  “Please.” She wasn’t above begging. Not now. Not when everything she’d ever wanted was a touch, a kiss away.

  Seeing whatever he needed to see, he kissed her again, cupping both her breasts in his big, strong hands. She needed so much more. Dropping her legs to the floor, she went to work on the belt in earnest, tugging it open. The button took only a moment, then the zipper. And then she had him in her hand, hard and hot and pulsing.

  He cursed and slapped a hand against the door to brace himself as she palmed him, rubbing her hand down his length, then back up again, spreading the bead of moisture at the tip around the crown. How many times had she imagined this? Touching him? Tasting him? Before she could indulge herself, he shrugged out of the shirt and reached for the zipper of her dress. His eyes were midnight dark as he shoved it to the floor, along with her panties.

  Autumn slid both her hands inside his boxers and over his glorious ass, until he was bare. She pulled him against her, digging her fingers into the strong muscles of his back, rising on her toes to take his mouth again. Her breasts flattened against the hard planes of his chest and the contrast made her dizzy. God, the feel of all that slick skin against hers was heaven.

  “Need you,” she gasped. “God, please, I need you inside me.”

  He kissed her deep as he lifted her again, pressing her back against the door, the heat of him poised at her center. Autumn dug her heels into his ass. That was all it took. He pressed into her, inch by slow inch, until he was buried, and all she could think was that she’d been made for this, for him. Emotion tightened her throat. At last. At long last, she was his and he was hers. No more excuses, no more lies, just this connection as it had always been meant.

  Then he began to move and she was caught again in the riptide of sensation. His tongue thrust against hers as he pumped into her. Pinned against the door, she could do little more than hang on for the ride. And what a ride it was. Her hands slipped along his sweat-slicked skin. Dropping her head forward, she nipped at the tendon in his neck, urging him faster, harder. With a growl that made her inner muscles clench, he lost whatever control he had left. He drove into her, rocketing them both toward a brutal peak. She shot over the edge, screaming his name. He plunged into her once, twice more, pressing his face into her throat before finally shuddering over the edge behind her.

  Breath heaving, Judd stayed where he was, face tucked against Autumn’s neck, his body buried deep in hers. Every cell vibrated with a primal call of Mine. She slumped against him, the fingers of one hand stroking lazily through the hair at his nape. At this point, it was more physics than actual intent keeping them both upright. He felt hollowed out, emptied of all that pure, unadulterated need. Years of wanting finally unleashed.

  He was appalled at his behavior. He hadn’t even made it to the damned sofa.

  Autumn stirred in his arms, shifting to drop her legs. He eased back so she could slide down, but didn’t let her go. He had to find a way to apologize.

  “Autumn.”

  She lifted her hands in the air and stretched with a sound that couldn’t be described as anything but a purr. “That was—”

  Too rough. Too crass. Too out of control.

  “—the best sex of my life.”

  Judd straightened to stare at her, taking in the smug, feline smile curving her lips.

  “Not surprising, I suppose. Fourteen years is a helluva lead up,” she said.

  “I just took you against the door.”

  She grinned in obvious delight. “I know. First time in our lives you didn’t treat me like I was fragile. It was amazing.” Stepping away from him, she headed toward the bathroom. “I think we embarrassed Boudreaux.”

  The dog lay behind the sofa, nose just barely peeking out.

  Judd scooped up his boxers. How could she not be upset? Everything they were to each other and he’d turned into an animal. No care. No finesse. No condom…

  Oh shit. The boxers fell from his hand.

  She emerged from the hall bathroom, still gloriously naked, stopping short when she saw him. Her smile faded, expression turning stricken. “Please tell me you don’t regret what we just did.”

  He crossed to her in two strides, taking her into his arms. “No.” Whatever consequences there were, he couldn’t regret being with her.

  “Then why do you look like you’ve just been mule kicked?”

  He led her over to the sofa and sat, pulling her across his lap.

  Despite her look of concern, she snuggled in. “That’s your Very Serious Discussion face.”

  “My what?”

  “Whenever you have something to tell me that you think is going to upset me, you get this look on your face. And you always touch me. Albeit never quite like this. I’ve always thought it was for my benefit, but now I’m wondering if it goes both ways.”

  The arm she slid around his shoulders had her breast pressing against his chest and almost distracted him from what he needed to say.

  “Started out for you. But after the hospital, yeah, just as much for me, I guess.” He rubbed a hand down her back. “Firefly, I didn’t stop to think about protection.”

  “Oh.” Her face smoothed out. “It’s fine. I’ve been on birth control since college.”

  Okay that was one concern down. “I’m clean,” he assured her.

  “I know. You’ve been a serial monogamist your whole life. I wasn’t worried.” She pressed a sweet kiss to the underside of his jaw. “Besides, I really, really enjoyed seeing you lose control.”

  It was hard to argue with the evidence of her pleasure. But that wasn’t entirely the point. Judd stroked the wet hair back from her face. “You deserved more than that. You’ve always deserved more than I’ve given you.” Guilt at the knowledge that he’d hurt her weighed heavy on his heart.

  Autumn pressed closer. “You gave me everything you could. You had your reasons for not doing this before. They were damned stupid reasons, but you thought you were doing the right thing.”

  He thought back to her shouted accusations. “I’m sorry. I never ever meant to make you feel like I was trying to silence you. I’d never in a thousand years want to make you feel like he did.”

  “It was a cheap shot. I was angry.” On a sigh, she tucked her head against the hollow of his throat. “I’ve loved you all my life, and after we both got out of the hospital, when you didn’t remember—said you didn’t remember—and never pursued anything more with me, I thought my father had made it so you couldn’t love me. That I wasn’t worth it.”

  Horrified, Judd tightened his arms around her. “No. God, no. Staying away from you all these years, not doing exactly this, took everything I had.” Along with a string of relationships that he’d known, in his heart, would never go anywhere. Judd didn’t care to analyze how much of a dick that made him.

  He felt her lips curve against his throat. “If I’d known that, I’d have given in way earlier to all those fantasies I had about jumping you.” When she lifted her head, her amusement had faded. “The truth is, you’ve always treated me as the most important person in your life on every level but this one, and I just couldn’t do it anymore.”

  “What changed?”

  “I thought you were going to marry Mary A
lice.”

  “You…what?” The pieces of a puzzle clicked into place. “You mean that day outside Sanderson’s, when you bolted? That’s why you thought we were there?”

  “It was a logical conclusion. You don’t buy jewelry.”

  “So all this talk of leaving Wishful, leaving me, was because of her? Because you thought I was serious about her? Why didn’t you just ask?”

  “And have to test my acting skills to the max when you told me to my face you were going to marry someone else? No, thank you. I’m not that good. Not with you.”

  “I knew you were lying. But I thought you were upset about the flowers. What were you really going to tell me that day?”

  “The truth. That I love you and I wanted to be with you. I had a plan and a speech that didn’t involve losing my temper and kissing you brainless in front of my two closest girlfriends. I was going to ask you to choose. But then Mark came and blew the timing, then the jewelry store happened, and I just couldn’t face you right then. So I ran. And I was going to keep running, as far as I had to. If someone else was truly going to make you happy, I could’ve given you up. But I couldn’t stick around and watch it. I’m only human.”

  He’d come so close to losing her to something that would never have happened. God, he’d been a fucking idiot.

  “There was never a choice. I love you. It’s always been you.” Overwhelmed with the desire to soothe whatever hurts he’d caused, he brushed a soft kiss over her lips. “Let me show you.”

  She melted into him without hesitation. That instant surrender sparked his blood, made him want to roll her under him. But he’d taken her hard and fast already. Now he wanted her slow. To take the time to explore the body he’d fantasized so long about, learn her taste and texture. Scooping her up, he headed for the stairs.

  “That was a perfectly good couch,” Autumn murmured against his mouth.

  “Not enough room. And we have time.” He hoped like hell it was true. He’d left his radio and phone downstairs. But surely fate couldn’t be so cruel as to drag him away when they’d finally come together. He prayed everyone in town would have the sense to stay home in this foul weather.

  Pushing the thought from his mind, he laid her out on his bed and looked his fill. She was long and slim and beautiful, her wet hair spread out over the pillow.

  “Do you know how often I imagined you here, like this?”

  “I very seriously doubt it was anywhere near as much as I thought about you.”

  Judd chuckled as he lifted her leg to press a kiss to her ankle. “Probably not. I spent a lot of effort trying not to think about this. But I failed more often than not.”

  “That should’ve been a sign.”

  He paused, stroking light fingers over the tender flesh behind her knee. “I suppose my sentence will be a nice long stretch with regular reminders of how long I’ve been an idiot?”

  “It does seem fair. But it’s possible I could be induced to reduce the sentence if you proceed with efforts to make up for lost time.”

  “I have every intention of making you lose time. Hours, days, years. Isn’t that how you put it with Cooper?”

  She smiled with wicked pleasure. “Somebody paid attention.”

  “Always.”

  He slid his hands beneath her hips, dragging her to the edge of the bed so he could drape her legs over his shoulders. Those jade green eyes held not an ounce of self consciousness as she splayed out for him. Goddamn that was sexy.

  Judd rubbed his cheek against the sensitive skin of her inner thigh, loving her low moan. Eyes on hers, he pressed his mouth against her, drawing his tongue through her wet folds. Autumn cried out, hips bucking beneath him. Downstairs, Boudreaux began to bay.

  The taste of her barely on his tongue, Judd lifted his head. “What the hell?”

  Even from up here, Judd could hear the dog hurling himself at the door.

  “Stay here.” He untangled himself from Autumn and sprinted for the stairs, not bothering with pants. Boudreaux’s howls turned to frantic barking. He pawed at the door, glancing back at Judd as if to say Hurry the hell up!

  Grabbing up his service weapon, Judd strode toward the door, giving the order for the dog to shush. He hauled Boudreaux back and saw the arc of wet on the floor. The door had been opened since he and Autumn came inside, shoving their clothes to one side. The deadbolt was unlocked. Wary now, he grabbed up his pants and slipped them on. He pointed for the stairs. “To Autumn. Guard.”

  Growling low in his throat, Boudreaux did as commanded. The way he was behaving, likely whoever had opened the door wasn’t inside, but to be certain, Judd did a quick sweep, clearing the lower floor and killing lights as he went. He listened hard but heard nothing out of the ordinary over the drum of rain outside. Satisfied no one was in the house, he slipped out the front door, keeping to deep shadow.

  Autumn’s suitcase still lay where she’d dropped it in the driveway, the contents soaked. Hopefully not all ruined. He saw no signs of a vehicle or any movement as he slowly circled the house. Not that he could see far in this monsoon they were having. Whoever had tried to come in was likely long gone, using the rain for cover.

  Returning to the door, he saw a small square glinting from the porch. Something protruded from the middle. Had this been here when he stepped out? Or had the intruder circled back around?

  Judd went back inside to grab a flashlight and some gloves.

  “What is it?”

  He whipped toward the stairway. Autumn stood in one of his shirts, one hand on Boudreaux, the other holding the 9mm Ruger from his nightstand by her side.

  “I told you to stay upstairs.”

  “What’s going on?”

  “Someone left us a present.”

  Autumn started to come down. “No. Stay there.” She was safer out of sight.

  Judd went back outside and turned on the flashlight to see what had been left. It was a picture frame, one he well recognized, as it had graced one of the bookcases in Autumn’s apartment for years. The picture inside had them both mugging for the camera on a camping trip sometime during college. The glass in the frame was cracked around the knife driven through the image all the way through the cardboard backing of the frame. It was a pocket knife. A Swiss Army number with a faded insignia. But he could still make out the initials he’d had engraved before he gave it to her when they were thirteen.

  AEB.

  Shit.

  Chapter 13

  Stabbed through the heart. Her picture. Her knife. Both precious memories she’d thought lost in the fire. Twisted now into something ugly.

  Long after Judd’s officers had left, long after the scene had been processed and she’d gone through her encounter with her father at Dinner Belles, Autumn lay awake thinking about the message he’d left her. It hadn’t been him, of course. A sentry had been posted to watch him after Judd heard about the diner, and he hadn’t left the motel. But they’d been operating under the assumption he had someone else being his eyes, ears, and legs. The idea of it terrified her. Jebediah himself might have been limited in what he could do, but whoever was acting for him wasn’t.

  How far was that person willing to go to carry out her father’s vendetta?

  In the four days since he’d gotten out of prison, her house had burned down, her place of work had been violated, and her pen name outed. She’d confronted her father, issuing her own threat, and in a matter of hours, he’d made one in return.

  I nearly took him from you once. I could do it again.

  She didn’t dare close her eyes for fear of going back there. The memory was too close, even with the warmth of Judd’s big body wrapped around her, his chest rising and falling in a reassuring rhythm. For the first time in her life, she’d gotten everything she’d always wanted. The man she’d always loved loved her back. The foolish wall he’d thrown up between them was gone. And, in a way, it was her father’s actions that had led them here.

  But what would be the cost? Because if
life had taught her anything, it was that there was always, always a price. Consequences for those wants. Those desires. A pound of flesh, literal or figurative. She’d paid for their friendship gladly, enduring the beatings and the lectures and even the occasional imprisonment because the light Judd brought to her life was brighter than any of her father’s darkness.

  Jebediah had nearly snuffed out that light once, and Autumn couldn’t shake the terror that he’d try again. That this time, he’d succeed.

  In the deep hours of the night, as fear took her by the throat, she turned to Judd, taking comfort in his body. They made desperate love as the night waned, and she shattered with the first rays of dawn. But the light wasn’t enough to banish the shadows.

  She couldn’t lose him. Not now.

  As they readied for the day, she struggled to tamp down her anxiety. It would only make him worry, and she didn’t want to do anything to dull his edge. But as he dressed, her eyes went, unerring, to the scar just to the right of his heart.

  “I don’t know how to do this,” she whispered.

  Judd froze, his undershirt half on. Expression serious, he tugged the shirt down and crossed to her. “Do what, Firefly?”

  “Let you go out there.” She slipped her arms around him. “I’ve always worried about you. It’s the nature of the job. But it feels different now. After last night, part of me wants to just lock us both inside and hide. Part wants to take you and run far, far away where he can’t find us. I know we can’t. And I’d never ask you to walk away from the job you’ve worked so hard for. But I just…I’m so afraid of losing you.”

  He stroked her hair back from her face, his big hand lingering on her cheek. “It’s what he wants. To make you afraid.”

  “I know. And I hate that it’s worked. I hate that we can’t just bask in finally being together without his pall hanging over everything.”