His Name Is Legion

by Michael Todd

  Pandora blinked. “Relieve his soul? Do souls do that? I mean, if they do, do we think that shit is all over the apartment? Like black-light city?”

  Katie rolled her eyes and let out a deep breath. “He means kill himself. Good God, you are hopeless sometimes. I don’t know how you remember to breathe.”

  The old giant led them down a narrow pass between the peaks and into a clearing. When the drifts of snow disappeared, a huge castle lay in front of them. Katie’s mouth dropped open, and Pandora pushed her hood back and gawked. “Whoa. So uh, is this leader single? Because I’ve seen worse.”

  Posted on either side of the fortress’ gates were two frost giants in leather armor with spears that shimmered like diamonds. As soon as the group got close, they shifted, crossing their spears over the entrance to the palace. The old giant bowed his head and stepped to the side, allowing Juntto to pass.

  He walked up to the guards, his chest puffed, standing easily two feet taller than them. “I am Juntto, King and Conqueror of Earth. I have come to speak to whoever rules here. It is of dire importance.”

  One of the guards stood at attention, but the other kept his stare on the angels, his spear still in the way. “That would be Lord Kraggen, our leader and warrior king. Lord Kraggen does not see anyone without a direct invite.”

  Juntto held his posture. “I am not here for his mercy or grace. I am here to request his assistance in a matter that affects us all. I have been gone for nearly a millennium, but now I come as a warrior king, just like he is. I will not be turned down out of childish whim. You are to tell him at once that I have arrived. We have much to discuss, and time is of the essence.”

  The guard who was standing at attention glanced at him and then at the other soldier, who was starting to look a bit nervous. “I am sorry, Your Highness, but we cannot allow anyone through without proper clearance. Perhaps if you come in the morning and summon the duke, he will be able to find time in the calendar for the king to give you counsel.”

  Juntto growled, and although the guards kept their stance, they were nearly quaking in the snow that reached their knees. Katie looked at Pandora, and they both nodded. Untying the fronts of their fur cloaks, they shrugged them off and spread their wings wide. Both of the guards jumped, immediately pulling their spears back and unlatching the gate.

  The girls picked up their cloaks and smirked as the first guard put out his arm. “I will escort you inside.”

  18

  Juntto, laden with furs from his new slave’s shelves, walked through the massive halls, which were obviously built for giants his size and larger. Katie and Pandora had folded their wings and walked close, staring in awe at the beautiful white marble castle. Very few items hung on the ornately carved walls besides massively tall paintings of the giant kings of the past and the tattered banners of the rulers’ foes, past and present.

  The guard led them into the throne room, stopping halfway. “I will summon the lord. Please wait here, and do not touch anything.”

  Pandora sneered. “Rude. I don’t want to touch your shit anyway.”

  As soon as the guard had left, Juntto turned to Katie and Pandora and whispered, “Lord Kraggen was around when I was a young boy. He is a fierce warrior, or was, at least. He fought with my father in many battles and was there when he was honorably killed. Still, he can be a tyrant, and tyrants are not what we were hoping for.”

  Katie scratched the top of her head. “If you are at least a millennium old, then how is he still alive?”

  Juntto stood back up, straightening his furs and his armor. “When you look at a lifespan of a millennium, does fifteen years older than me really sound that ancient? Our people do not live forever; we are not immortal. However, we do live a very long time here. We have hibernation chambers where we spend hundreds of years of our lives, and they rejuvenate us. That is why you will often see young-looking lords. The poorer you are, the older you look.”

  Katie shook her head. “Why is that not surprising? No matter what dimension we end up in, they all have the same bullshit rules: push down the lower classes and raise the ones with money. It is sickening. And slaves, too? Look at all of these…female giants standing by to serve. They should be the ones on the throne instead!”

  Juntto turned back to her, patting his hands on the air. “Please lower your voice. This is not the way you want it to be; I get it. If we ever stop this war, you can come back here and start an uprising.”

  Pandora just stood there looking over their heads at the torn and bloody banners of Kraggen’s conquered foes. They had lined the halls and now also billowed above their heads in the throne room. Footsteps and a loud voice could be heard approaching.

  Kraggen walked to the doorway and narrowed his eyes. “How can we know this is him? It would almost be impossible.”

  The king was more than a bit suspicious. Juntto had left eons ago, rushing out to conquer other worlds. Still, he didn’t want to offend the giant if he was truly Juntto. So, he took in a deep breath and tugged down his armor as he walked from the shadows, putting his arms out. “By Crtagul’s frozen tits, can this be Juntto, the Great Warrior of the Frost Giant Lands? The missing king?”

  Pandora gave Katie a side glance at that last comment. Juntto walked forward with a jubilant smile. “Lord Kraggen, I am very much alive, and still have the heartbeat of a king. I have finally returned, with glory beneath my belt.”

  Lord Kraggen put his arms back as his servant girls pulled off his armor and put on his formal robes. His eyes moved feverishly over Juntto. “I see that you have. Conquered Earth, huh? And if you conquered Earth, then what dire issue would bring you to my doorstep?”

  Juntto chuckled. “To make peace with the other frost giants and claim the army that is mine by right of conquest. I have traveled through many dimensions, the exhaustion of battles clinging to the twisted metal of my sword. I have come to be seen and heard again, and request my people’s help in a time of grave sorrow and struggle. What giant likes to be swindled of their rightful property? None.”

  Kraggen slowly circled Juntto. He looked at his furs and his women, having not seen such fair skin on a female in many years. Instead of excitement, though, suspicion was what filtered through his blood at that moment. He needed a way to determine if this indeed was the Juntto from many years ago.

  Kraggen stopped in front of him, reaching out in greeting. Juntto smiled and reached out as well, laying his hand over Kraggen’s and gripping his forearm tightly. Kraggen threw his hands up. “If you are indeed the brave warrior Juntto, then you know very well that true honor demands there be a battle so that the famed Juntto can prove that he is here in the flesh.”

  While Katie and Pandora were shocked, Juntto had known before they came that he would not get away without a fight. However, this was not his moment to display his skills. It was time for a different type of battle, one that brought leaders to the edge of their seats. It was the crucible of the giant world.

  Kraggen lifted his arms to face level and turned, clapping for his servants. Two young warriors stepped forward, donning frost giant armor with angry looks on their faces. Kraggen whirled around, bowing to Juntto. “I will offer you my two strongest warriors. If you are truly the king of Earth, then you should offer me two of your warriors.”

  Juntto smiled. “As you wish. I will offer up my two slaves.”

  Pandora furrowed her brow. “What slaves?”

  Katie growled. “That big fuckin’ blue asshole means us.”

  Turner tripped, calling out to Eddie as he laughed, whizzing past him. Sean chuckled, pumping his arms to the rhythm of the wheels crunching over the sand, gravel, and grass. He wasn’t too far behind, and he definitely wasn’t giving up this “guns run.” He got too much shit from them on a regular basis to even think about quitting before one of them.

  When Eddie came back around, Sean acted nonchalant until he was right next to him. Suddenly he jerked his wheelchair and knocked Eddie to the ground. Sean looked ba
ck, laughing loudly as Eddie rolled head over heels, coming to a sliding stop at Turner’s feet.

  Turner pointed at him. “That’s what you get, cheater.” He pumped his fist. “And the cripple wins again!”

  Sean wheeled over to them and put on the brakes, then clasped his hands together and shook them to each side of himself. Eddie sat up and leaned on his hands. He nudged Sean’s wheel with his foot. “So, how’s admin?”

  Sean rolled his eyes. “I can’t really do anything in there. I mean, what can anyone do on this base with practically no security clearance? Just knowing this place exists requires a higher security clearance then I have. It’s fucking pathetic.”

  Turner shrugged. “You could be the head chef. Unless we have potatoes spying on us, I think we can trust you.”

  Eddie shook his finger. “Or you could be the chief latrine cleaner. Put mop heads on those wheels and just ride around all day. It would be a piss-free establishment.”

  Turner nodded. “I think it’s a great idea. And if you get good at that and you are rocking it with your wang definitely not out, you might get a promotion. You could become one of the janitorial staff here. Those guys are always quiet, and they know everything that’s going on anywhere they work. You would have all the secrets and no security badge, which in my opinion is way cooler.”

  Sean slapped his hands on his legs. “As much as I appreciate your attempt to find me a career, I think I’d rather leave here and go be normal somewhere. I saved people’s fucking lives and I killed fucking demons, and I didn’t do that so I could clean toilets. I mean, I love the janitorial support people, since they make everything nice and sparkling, but that is not me, dudes.”

  Eddie scrunched his nose and tilted his head. “Well, aren’t we pretentious!”

  Sean smiled. “No, I just want to be treated right. That’s all. Right now, I’m like a fucking Roomba. I fucked up, but they forgave me. Still, I’m stuck.”

  Eddie slapped Sean’s leg. “I have one! You could be a guard. We would get you one of those Jeeps with the gas and brake levers on the steering wheel, and you could patrol the base.”

  Sean nodded. “Actually, that sounds like something I would be totally down with.”

  “Hey, numbnuts!” Calvin was over by the barracks waving his arms at them. “Meet me downstairs in Conference Room 3 in ten minutes!”

  The three of them looked at each other for a moment, then Turner grabbed the handles of the wheelchair and pushed Sean down to the barracks building. When they walked in, Sean peeled off, letting them go to their meeting.

  As he was about to turn, Calvin yelled for him. “Where you going? This meeting is for you too.”

  Sean smirked and rolled down the hall fast. As he approached the door, he stopped one wheel and turned hard on the other, making a squealing turn into the room. Calvin closed the door behind them and dropped a file on the table. Eddie, Turner, and Sean stared at it and back up at him. “I just got off the phone with the general. Now, that’s a routine thing for me. Normally we would discuss past events and shoot the shit, and he would give me a directive for Katie. This time was a little weird.”

  Turner narrowed his eyes. “How weird?”

  Calvin let out a deep breath and flipped the folder open, showing them Juntto’s face inside. “Juntto, Katie, and Pandora are trying to bring an army of frost giants to Earth, so he wants everyone prepared.”

  Sean shook his hand. “They are doin’ what? Did I miss the part where Katie lost her mind?”

  Calvin shook his head. “This is happening because they realized the frost giants may be the only ones who can defeat the Leviathan. Katie and Pandora, or anyone else, could easily be swayed to join the Legion, and that would be a really bad thing for everyone. So for now, everyone is on standby.”

  Eddie snarled. “I feel like we’ve been over this before, but aren’t we guarding the base? We weren’t mobilized for the Rio fight. Why is it that when they need bait for these things, we automatically end up toasted? Besides, we have our guns and ammo.”

  Calvin stretched his arms over his head and yawned loudly. “The reason, Eddie, is because special metal doesn’t work on Juntto the way it worked on me and several others. You three are some of the best Damned mercs that we have, well, except for Sean, who isn’t anymore, and the keyword in this scenario is Damned. We need the extra strength when going after that sonofabitch. So, yesterday you defended the base, and that’s awesome. But your duty station has changed and broadened. Today, the three of you get to realize that this base is on Earth. And that means, without a shadow of doubt in my mind, that you are protecting the planet and every living creature on it. Consider this right here the most important protection detail ever to be assigned, and we won’t see it even when it finishes unless you royally fuck up.”

  “I remember the days of the angels and the demons,” one of the frost giants said to his friend. “It was an interesting time. I know those guys think this is going to be easy, but I’ll tell you right now, they are in for a surprise.”

  The other frost giant grunted. “Just a couple of women with wings. I personally think it’s offensive to those guys.”

  Another of them chimed in, “Think about it this way: they are Juntto’s slaves. That means he went to Earth, conquered it, and then conquered the angels too. That takes balls.”

  The other two had wide eyes, whipping their heads to the right and watching Juntto. “He bested the damn angels! I never thought about it that way. He might as well be royalty. I would give my blue left nut to have a couple of angels as my slaves. You think he…” The frost giant nudged his friend, winked, and clicked his tongue. “You know. Takes care of business with one of them. Probably the one with the huge tits.”

  They all laughed, but their voices couldn’t be heard through the freezing wind and blowing snow. Juntto’s planet was definitely not the friendliest place to visit, especially for a human. Even for an angel, it was fucking cold. Katie kept her hands to her lips, trying to warm her fingers. Pandora turned toward her, sticking out her chest. “My nipples are so hard! Fuck glass. These bitches could cut motherfucking diamonds.”

  Katie chuckled, shivering. “Great, so why don’t you take down a couple of frost giants with those things? You would become a legend.”

  Pandora looked down at her chest. “Maybe they would erect a statue of me and my girls.”

  Kraggen, wearing a blue and gray fur-lined robe, stood in the middle of the field. “Today we find out the authenticity of the so-called warrior king Juntto. He has offered his two slave angels, names unknown, to battle my fierce and strong warriors Skaal and Pivvo!”

  The frost giants cheered as the two soldiers stomped out, shaking their fists. Their scales shimmered blue and gray in the light from their moons. Pandora snarled. “Talk about toxic masculinity. Earth seems like a dreamland, compared to this place.”

  Katie pulled the sword from her back and spread her wings. “It’s time to take them down a ballsack or two.”

  Pandora howled, pulling her sword out. “That’s what I’m talking about, bitch!”

  Kraggen backed up when he saw their wings and walked over to his side. Juntto nodded at them, standing still with his arms crossed. Skaal and Pivvo stepped forward, whirling their spears to try to intimidate. Katie maintained a stern look, while Pandora had a smirk plastered on her lips.

  One of the frost giants blew his horn, and the battle began. Pandora and Katie didn't hesitate, running straight toward the giants. They clashed in the middle, where Katie grabbed Skaal and spun him in a circle using the momentum of her wings. She smashed the hilt of her sword into his face, knocking out two teeth.

  Pandora ran too, but just inches before clashing, she slammed to a stop, spread her wings, and flipped over him. As she soared over his head, she put both arms out, her sword extended. The blade cut right through the leather armor and gashed his shoulder. Pandora landed and smiled widely. After a moment’s pause, all four slammed into each other, bl
ocking and slicing with their weapons. You could hear the clanging for miles, even in the cold and bitter winds.

  Katie ducked a thrust of Skaal’s spear and cut across his belly right below the armor. He wailed, hissing loudly as blue blood dripped down his legs. It was just a flesh wound, but it distracted him enough for her to leap into the air and come down hard on him. At the same time, Pandora, just having taken a straight punch to the chin, got really angry. She dropped her sword and gripped Pivvo’s face, slamming her knee into it over and over.

  Skaal and Pivvo went down, both dropping hard and shaking the ground. Pandora picked up her sword and sheathed it, looking at Katie. Skaal and Pivvo were still on the ground, and Katie nodded her head at their feet. A huge smile came to Pandora’s face, and they leaned down and grabbed them by the ankles.

  Katie’s and Pandora’s wings beat hard as they lifted Kraggen’s warriors. The frost giants scrambled for control, but before they could do a thing about it, they were dangling from the angels’ hands, their spears on the ground below. Up and up the two angels went until the air was so turbulent, they had to stop to keep control. Still, they were in a good place, everyone below looking really tiny.

  Pandora grunted. “Here’s the deal, assholes. Either you submit, or Katie and I will let you slip right out of our hands. You are big dudes, and if you don’t die from the fall, I promise you will never walk again. It’s your decision.”

  Pivvo looked at Skaal, nodding as fast as he could. Skaal grumbled and the two frost giants pumped their fists, making hand gestures that signified their submission. Skaal growled loudly, “Now, take us to the ground carefully.”

  Pandora pursed her lips and lowered her eyebrows. “As you wish.”