Unattainable

by Schlosser, Jamie

  “Podophobia,” I replied, giving him a funny look. “I don’t have that. Why, are you afraid of feet?”

  “Nah, not afraid. I just really dislike them. The thought of having a hundred toes on my face makes me want to puke.”

  I laughed. “In what situation would you ever have that many toes touching you?”

  Lips flattening into a thin line, he became quiet for a few seconds, and I found it highly amusing that he was actually considering the impossible scenario. But it wasn’t all that different from what I did—thinking I was going to choke on solid food every day wasn’t exactly rational.

  “You’re right,” Aiden finally said. “That would never happen.” Then he changed the subject. “Wanna try a trot?”

  “That sounds dangerous.”

  “It’s not. We just go a little faster and the ride gets bumpier. Hang on.” He clicked his tongue, and all of the sudden, Dolly picked up speed.

  Fergus followed her lead, and then I was holding on for dear life. Momentum caused me to sway backward, and I screwed my eyes shut as I squeezed the saddle horn, bracing for the inevitable plummet to the sand below.

  But I didn’t fall.

  When I peeked through my eyelids, I was still on top of the horse. I was still in one piece. Sure, my butt would probably be sore from all the bouncing, but it was actually… fun.

  In reality, we weren’t going that fast. I wasn’t ready to work up to a gallop, but I had a feeling I might give it a try next time.

  And there would be a next time. Now that I’d experienced horseback riding, I’d definitely be doing it again.

  Aiden was right. Being up this high, with the wind whipping through my hair, was exhilarating.

  The sun was shining on the deserted beach. The air smelled like sea and sand. The clear blue water on the left was beautiful.

  And the view to my right wasn’t all that bad either.

  Aiden was every country girl’s fantasy come to life.

  After taking at least fifteen minutes to clumsily climb my ass onto the saddle, Maria had offered us cowboy hats to enhance the experience. I’d declined because I didn’t want hat-head, but Aiden accepted. And I was so glad he did.

  He was totally in his element. Loosely holding the leather reins, his body gracefully undulating with the motions. Brilliant white smile under the shadow of the brim of his hat.

  Aiden made a clucking sound as he pulled lightly on the reins, and we slowed our pace.

  “So what do you think?” Aiden shot me a grin. “Not awful, right?”

  “Not awful at all. I think I’m in love,” I sighed. Then I almost swallowed my own tongue because of how forward the statement sounded. “With Fergus,” I added quickly, looking out at the horizon.

  A sexy chuckle drew my attention back. “I’m glad. We’ll have to come back sometime.”

  “For sure.”

  The next few minutes were silent and peaceful. My tight grip loosened as I relaxed.

  Leaning forward, I petted the brown fur on Fergus’s neck, wishing I could thank him for being so awesome.

  I had a surprising connection with the monster beneath me. No—not a monster. A gentle giant.

  Fergus seemed to sense my nervousness when we got too close to the water or when the ride got too choppy. Without even tugging on the leather straps in my hand, he knew which direction I needed him to go and when to slow down.

  I’d heard of therapy animals before. How they could be life-changing. Honestly, I’d just thought it was an excuse to bring puppies on airplanes.

  Now, I understood it was more than that. Up here, I felt like I could do anything. It was weird how the very source of my fear and the cure to it were one in the same.

  “Tell me why you need money so badly.” Aiden’s curious demand yanked me back to reality.

  I hesitated, unsure of how much I should say.

  “I’m not sure if you realize this, but the peasants have to work for their food.” My joke fell flat because he didn’t even crack a smile. Fine. “Carson is a junior at Weston. He transferred just like I did.”

  “That’s awesome.” Aiden grinned.

  “But unlike me, he didn’t get the scholarship. He tried out three years in a row, but I guess they weren’t looking for a violinist. Paying twenty grand out of pocket isn’t feasible for my parents, so I help.”

  I thought maybe Aiden would criticize me for taking on such a large financial responsibility. But he looked impressed instead. “You’re paying his tuition?”

  “Part of it. About half, actually. My parents let me live at home, eat their food, and bum off their Netflix. It’s not a bad deal. I’d be paying way more in rent if I had my own place.” I don’t know why I felt the need to defend my decision. Some people might’ve seen it as a bad investment, but I didn’t. “It’s only fair. Carson is so talented, and he should get the same opportunity I did.” I sighed. “The truth is, I didn’t go to Weston for the right reasons.”

  Boy, I was just full of confessions today. Aiden waited patiently for me to continue.

  “At my old high school, I confided in a friend—well, I thought she was a friend—about my phobia issues. She told some people, then before I knew it, everyone was laughing at me and stuffing hotdogs in my locker.”

  Aiden’s face scrunched up. “What do hotdogs have to do with anything?”

  “Choking hazard.”

  He rolled his eyes to the sky. “Oh, kids are such assholes.”

  “Yep. So I auditioned for Weston on a whim, got in, and spent two years being ultra-mysterious.” My voice dipped low as I flipped my hair. Then I frowned. “Sometimes I feel like I stole Carson’s chance. I took a scholarship someone else with more passion could’ve had.”

  “If you got in, it’s because you belonged there,” Aiden responded seriously. “And I’m really glad you did.”

  He sent a meaningful glance my way, and I knew what he meant—if I hadn’t attended Weston, we never would’ve met. As much as I agreed, I still felt bad for my brother.

  “Carson’s going to play for a big orchestra someday. Or maybe he’ll tour with a band. He knows what he wants, and nothing will stand in his way. He’s not afraid to go after his dream.”

  “What about your dream?”

  I smiled. “I’m living it.”

  “No more scrubbing toilets?” Aiden joked.

  I snickered, no longer offended by his comments about my low-level job. Because, yeah. It sucked.

  “The janitorial position I had after graduation was for a record label in Nashville. I applied everywhere for secretarial work, hoping I could eventually transition to the sound tech department.” I shrugged. “But emptying trash cans and vacuuming was the only way I got to step foot inside a recording studio. The owner was super cool, though. He let me stick around after hours and play with all the equipment. It was good practice. Ricardo is the reason I have the skills I do.”

  “Hold up.” Aiden tugged on his reins, and both horses came to a stop. “Are you talking about Ricardo Janich? Big-wig music producer?”

  “Yeah.”

  “So that’s the dude Theo saw you with in the pictures,” he mused under his breath.

  “What pictures?”

  An uncharacteristic blush painted Aiden’s face beet red, and he mumbled, “On your social media.”

  “Aiden Legend,” I playfully scolded. “Did you internet stalk me?”

  “I didn’t.” He gave me a sheepish grin. “But Theo did.”

  Amused, I shook my head. I decided to go easy on him and not give him too much crap about checking me out. The only reason I hadn’t done the same to him was because I didn’t think I could stomach seeing him with other girls.

  “Anyway,” I continued. “After a year of getting nowhere with the music, I threw in the towel. There was no way I could afford to keep living in a high-cost city while also helping my family. It all worked out, though. Because here I am.” I raised my arm in a ta-dah pose, then immediately put both
hands back on the saddle when I swayed to the side.

  Aiden was quiet for several beats before he said, “Your sacrifice is one of the nicest, most selfless acts I’ve ever heard of.”

  “He’s my brother,” I explained with a shrug.

  “I should’ve done the same for Theo.” Aiden’s voice got rough with emotion. “When he was acting out, I should’ve recognized his behavior as a cry for help. I should’ve stood up to my parents—”

  “Hey,” I said, stopping him from beating himself up. “You were just a kid then. I have a feeling you might’ve had something to do with Theo getting hired for your show. Am I right?”

  He nodded. “Yeah. I sort of called NTT’s bluff and told them I wouldn’t do Stranded with a Legend unless Theo was a part of it.”

  “See? You’re a good brother. And I can tell how much he loves you.”

  As we resumed a slow pace, a troubled expression marred Aiden’s handsome face. “Is it wrong to be mad at people who are dead?”

  There was so much pain in that question. So much conflict.

  “I think you’re allowed to feel however you feel,” I said softly.

  “Sometimes I wish my mom and dad were alive again, just so I could give them a piece of my mind. That’s not right. I’m supposed to want them back because I miss them, but I’m just… pissed,” he growled. “And confused. There are so many questions I’ll never get the answers to.”

  “Have you talked to Theo about it? He might have some insight you don’t.”

  He tipped his head from side to side. “A little. I try not to bring them up around him. Sore subject.”

  I nodded, understanding.

  “I think we’ve had enough serious conversation for the day,” I said, wanting to lighten the mood. “How about some swimming?”

  “What, no truth dare for me? You could find out anything you want.”

  I could tell he was only teasing, but it didn’t stop me from wondering what I would ask.

  Oh, the questions I had for him.

  Where did he see this thing between us going? What would happen if he experienced another tragedy? Would he push me away again? I couldn’t control what happened to other people. What if something happened to Theo?

  It was a morbid thought, but I was the queen of overthinking. I could turn any normal situation into a life-or-death possibility. Even now, on our lovely date, I was mentally preparing for the fallout of our rekindled romance.

  And I had the sudden urge to interrogate him about how many girls he’d been with. Who’d been my replacement during the time we were apart?

  But I pressed my lips together to keep all the questions inside.

  Knowing the answers would’ve torn me up.

  Our time together could be fleeting, and every second was precious. I didn’t want to sully it with knowledge that would only hurt me.

  A familiar tightness settled under my sternum.

  Only this ball of dread wasn’t about horses or hotdogs. It was something new. I didn’t know the technical term for fear of heartbreak, but I’d have to look it up later.

  Because out of all my phobias, I think what scared me more than anything was the possibility of getting my heart broken a second time by this man.

  AFTER WE FOUND A SHADY designated rest area for the horses, we shed our clothing and raced to the water. I stayed a few feet behind Corrie so I could watch her ass bounce in the tiny black string bikini.

  Spectacular view.

  We made it out fifteen feet, the small waves lapping at our waists, and I expected to see the serene expression Corrie always got when she was in the water.

  Instead, her eyebrows were knitted together as she gazed out at the horizon where the ocean met the sky.

  “What’s that look for?” Wading around until I was placed in front of her, I studied her pinched expression.

  “What look?” She feigned ignorance, but she was totally transparent when she began nibbling on her thumbnail.

  “I don’t know.” I wasn’t sure how to describe it. Longing and uncertainty? I didn’t like it. “Truth dare—tell me.”

  “Nuh-uh.” Popping her thumb out of her teeth, she waggled a finger at me. “You already used yours for the day.”

  “Come on, Corrie.”

  I gave her the puppy-dog eyes. Her weakness. Maybe I was a bastard for using it against her, but apprehension and worry was the last thing I wanted her to feel right now, especially if it was about us.

  She remained silent, with a sexy pout on her lips.

  “You don’t trust me yet,” I concluded, moving closer. “That’s okay. I get it.”

  “I’m sorry.” She lowered her chin. “There was just so much distance between us for a long time. I want to believe this is real, but—”

  “You don’t have to apologize or explain,” I cut in. “What if I do this?” My hand found hers under the water and I linked our fingers. “Better?”

  “A little.” The worry lines on her forehead eased.

  Corrie had always responded well to physical contact. We used to find all kinds of innocent ways to touch each other in school—sitting so close our knees knocked together or not-so-accidentally brushing hands.

  She blossomed under my touch, and I was more than willing to supply it.

  Moving my hand to her waist, I dragged her forward until our torsos bumped. “How about now?”

  A sly smile crept up on her face. “Getting warmer.”

  My fingers walked up her ribcage, rounding the outside of her right breast. She giggled and tried to squirm away because it tickled, but I held tight with my other hand on her hip.

  I bent down, lowering my head until my lips hovered right over hers. “And now?”

  “Almost there,” she whispered.

  The last thing I saw before I closed my eyes was her uninhibited smile. Soft lips met mine and the world around us disappeared.

  Nothing mattered more than here. Now.

  In my life, I’d collected a mental list of my all-time favorite experiences: having my sixteenth birthday party at the Nashville Country Music Museum, watching the sunset from the Space Needle in Seattle, snorkeling in the Caribbean, and go-cart racing with Theo after we reconnected.

  But none of those came close to kissing Corrie in the ocean.

  The mini-waves made us sway, and it was almost like we were slow-dancing as her smooth tongue glided over mine.

  Lean legs came up to circle my waist, and I grabbed handfuls of Corrie’s ass to anchor her to me.

  She licked my bottom lip, and I sucked on her tongue.

  A bigger wave crashed against us, causing her to tighten her thighs and her pussy to rub against me in the most tempting way.

  We both jolted, gasping at the accidental friction as we stared into each other’s eyes.

  Moaning, Corrie’s hips bucked again.

  Okay, that was definitely intentional—nothing to do with the rocking motion of the water.

  Gripping the spot where her thighs met her butt cheeks, I lifted her slightly, dragging her hot center over my stiff cock.

  She whimpered, so I did it again, encouraging her to keep going.

  I reveled in the sensation of a body—Corrie’s body—wrapped around me. Loved the way her softest place grinded against my hardness.

  Layers of material separated us, but it didn’t diminish the pleasure. If anything, the spontaneity heightened the forbidden nature of the situation.

  We were out in the open where anyone who happened to wander this way could see.

  And we weren’t supposed to be here, breaking rules. Stealing moments we weren’t meant to have. Taking time for ourselves, to hell with everyone else.

  As I floated further out, our bodies became weightless. I held on tighter, making sure Corrie’s undulating pussy didn’t drift away from me as we mimicked sex in the water.

  She rubbed against me harder, rougher, faster.

  My breathing picked up and my eyes slammed shut as I felt my body rush
ing toward release. I didn’t think it was possible to get off this way, but Corrie was putting just the right amount of pressure on my cock.

  It was trapped against my stomach, the swollen tip sticking out of the waist of my swim trunks. I felt the smooth skin of her belly graze my sensitive slit, and I held in a groan with every blissful movement.

  I wanted to be inside her more than I needed air, but this was uncharted territory for me. I wanted to see what would happen if we kept it up. Would I come? Would she?

  Gasping, Corrie suddenly halted all movement.

  When I opened my eyes, I saw embarrassment and shock on her face. Like she hadn’t meant to lose control so quickly. Like she wasn’t sure if it was okay.

  Fuck yeah, it was okay.

  “Don’t stop. Please.” I wasn’t above begging.

  “But I might—um… I might…” Her eyes dropped to where we were pressed together, and she didn’t have to finish the sentence for me to know what she was going to say.

  “I would give away every penny I have just to see that happen,” I told her, noting the way her eyes darkened. Smirking, I gently thrusted and teased, “It’s a huge sacrifice on my part, but I’m willing to let you use my body.”

  “Oh, yeah?” She huffed out a breathless laugh.

  “Yep. I’m all yours.”

  Her smile faded as she fit her mouth to mine again, and she resumed tilting her hips.

  Up, down. Up, down. Up, down.

  Arching her back and digging her heels into my ass, she increased the pressure between us. When her tits grazed my chest, she moaned against my lips.

  Too winded to keep kissing, Corrie broke away and allowed her head to loll back. Eyes closed. Lips parted. Panting.

  I looked down.

  Holy fuck.

  The cups of her bikini top had slid to the side, and I saw dusky pink nipples bobbing in and out of the water.

  I had to touch her.

  Keeping a firm hold on Corrie’s waist with one hand, I skimmed up her side with the other until my palm covered her breast.

  Fascinated by the soft flesh, I ran my thumb over the hardened peak in a circular motion.

  A ragged breath rushed from Corrie and her nails dug into the skin on the nape of my neck. “Aiden.”