Dreams of a Wild Heart

by Danube Adele

“King Ral’e?” I asked.

  “No. The true king was murdered a few years after his wife was found...” He broke off. “It was a dark day. Ral’e stepped in to take charge when the nation went into chaos. He found those responsible and had them executed. Unfortunately, the Sunan are highly advanced, more so than we. They managed to send explosives, destroy fields and poison many of our animals with toxic gases.”

  “Why are they attacking you? What do they want? I mean, they risk themselves with each attack, so there must be something they want.”

  He was silent for a moment as we walked. “I don’t really know. Fertile land?”

  “It doesn’t make sense. Especially if they have greater technology. Do you all have resources they need?”

  “Nothing they couldn’t manufacture far more easily on their own.”

  “How long has this been going on?”

  “Since the beginning of our history. Stories passed down from our fathers tell of battles that were territorial disputes for numbers of years, but when I was born, we were already in a time of peace and prosperity. Only in our recent history have the battles become bloody once again.”

  “When was the last attack?”

  “Crops were burned, a field destroyed just a few days ago in one of our other villages. The worst, however, was just a few years ago.” He looked down for a moment. The silence stretched long enough that I wondered if he was going to say anything more, but then he looked to me, caught my questioning look. “They targeted the battery, the one building in the village that was fortified to protect the women, the children and the elderly during an attack. A bomb the likes of which I have never seen before was dropped on them all.”

  He looked out over the valley, a troubled look on his face. “A generation was lost with one attack. Nearly our entire civilization was destroyed with one bomb. It was more powerful than I could ever have imagined. There are very few children left in the village. Some of the women who survived have had stillborn babies.” There was sorrow mixed with confusion in his hard stare, hinting at a depth of emotion that I would never have guessed at.

  There were no words that wouldn’t sound trite, and he didn’t seem to be expecting me to respond with any as he looked back in time, feeling emotion that he liked to pretend not to have. It was actually comforting to see that he had feelings and wasn’t just a robot fulfilling someone’s commands. It made him human.

  “Where were you during the attack? I imagine you were in the middle of things trying to protect others.”

  Remembered anger lit his eyes, roughened his words. “There was such chaos. People running and screaming through the village. Children lost from frantic mothers, getting swallowed in the sea of desperation as everyone ran for cover. I directed many to that battery, only to have it instantly destroyed.”

  Was he feeling guilt? Without thinking about it, the need to soothe had me saying, “You did what you knew to do. How would you know otherwise?” He didn’t acknowledge my words, still living the nightmare in his mind.

  “And the cowards sent their bombs from far, so there was no one to fight. There was no one we could face. All we could do was note the devastation surrounding us and take care of those who were laying in their own blood on the streets.”

  Beyond imagining.

  “I still want to know how they knew where to point their bombs. How did they know to focus on the battery? That has always eaten away at my mind.” This was said more to himself than to me.

  “Maybe they thought you’d be hiding weaponry there.”

  “From the outside, it would have looked like a row of shops that were two stories tall. When built, we’d dug deep into the earth to mask what it was. I can’t believe it was all coincidental.”

  “So I imagine a call went out that an attack was coming, and as directed, the women and children went into the battery.” It was the quickest way to end a culture. Women were the creators of culture.

  He gave a short nod. “It became their tomb. We’ve left the ruins. Not one of us has the heart to do much else.”

  “I can’t imagine. Do you think someone from your own village might have had something to do with it?”

  “I don’t know.” It seemed he was done with his story because his expression became business as usual, which meant hard and unreadable. “I’m just talking. Anyway, you’ll see the beautiful craftsmanship of the last remaining buildings. There are only a few left who know the skills.”

  “That’s sad. I hope the people can begin to rebuild. Pass on the skills to those still living.” For a moment, I had to shake myself. Why in the world was I feeling any kind of sympathy? These people had kidnapped me!

  He stopped suddenly, looking sharply off in the distance. I followed where he was looking. It took a moment to spot it, blending as it did into the tall yellow grass, but fifty yards away, my eyes caught the image of what looked like a large wolf. Really large. Mastiff-sized, like an Earth wolf on steroids. Surprise and some fear had me grasping Tabron’s thick bicep.

  “It’s so big.”

  “He won’t hurt us,” Tabron assured me.

  “How do you know?”

  “Because he never has.”

  “But—”

  “We need to get back. If you want to see the ruins, they’re just beyond the trees.” He pulled me along, and when I looked back, I saw the wolf-thing was still watching us. Its fur was a beautiful tawny color. It watched us with an alert expression, but Tabron was right. It didn’t seem to be aggressing.

  “This is our main street. It used to be a busy place, but you can see that’s not the case anymore.”

  After the glowing image painted by his words, I’d expected to see some semblance, some piece of its previous beauty, but this was not the case.

  In a previous time, it probably might have resembled a cheerful bustling shopping district with cute cobblestone streets, charming store fronts and people moving about, but just like the palace, the buildings looked to be in varying states of decay. A few carts stood in front of the buildings with poor offerings of food substances that were likely crawling with bacteria. Most of the buildings were empty from what I could see as we walked through the town. Only a small handful still maintained shops.

  It was painful to see, and this wasn’t even my town. A few people moved around, looking more like a zombie apocalypse than anything else, their faces thin, their clothing threadbare. A few looked at me, but no real emotion reflected on their faces. It was haunting. Like their humanity had left them. How did this happen? Why would a king allow his people to live in such horrid conditions? Though I guess there was a precedent in history. Hadn’t Stalin starved his people out and put them in work camps where they would be worked to death while he continued to live high on the hog and spread positive propaganda to the poor and unknowing? The king did not seem kindly, and he did seem like he wasn’t hurting during these difficult times.

  Hadn’t there been a riot yesterday when I arrived? Something about needing food. Where was the food?

  There were piles of refuse along the road that stunk badly enough I felt the need to cover my nose. How could anyone live here? Something was dead, maybe a few things, and they weren’t being properly disposed of. There was rot somewhere. There were flies. It was disgustingly unsanitary. Something needed to be done immediately.

  “Where do the people live?”

  “Some in town here. Others have farms in outlying areas. If you follow the main road out, there are different roads that travel out toward some of the farms. We also have other villages, but these are much farther away. They come to trade food once a week.”

  “Is that where the battery used to be?” I could see just a bit down a side street, at the end of the block, in the pocket of the cul-de-sac, rubble lay about haphazardly, large chunks of stone and something that looked like concre
te. It did look like a bomb had leveled it. A shiver touched my spine. I could imagine the scene. Young women with their babies. Older women being helped along by their daughters, sons, husbands. All trying to find safety and not even knowing what was about to hit them.

  “Did you want to go see?”

  “No. I’ve seen enough.” Picking over a dead carcass was not my thing.

  “Who’ve you got there, Tabron?”

  A woman, not much older than myself, came out of one of the buildings, and I couldn’t help but stare. She was so thin. The famous photograph of the migrant woman with two of her children hanging on her during the dust bowl came to mind. She had a look of curiosity on a face, which was better than the apathy on everyone else’s at least. A Little House on the Prairie dress in a dull brown hung more like a sack than an actual dress on her body. Her cheekbones were more prominent, especially with her honey colored hair pulled back severely into a ponytail. There was no subcutaneous fat on her face. It was like she’d lost a lot of weight.

  “Raseen, this is Cecilia, our new healer. King Ral’e had us bring her here.”

  “A healer?” She looked me over. “Are you from Brisdayn?”

  “I brought her from Earth,” Tabron corrected.

  Brought. Good euphemism, though telling the truth wasn’t going to get me anything here. This woman had enough problems of her own with me adding to them.

  Fresh interest had her looking me over again. “You look different for sure. Not from here. Clean. Where can we come to see you?”

  “I don’t know...” I looked to Tabron.

  He gave a brief nod, his tone even. “She only just arrived. The king will likely install her within the palace.”

  Suspicion had her dark eyes narrowing on him. “Then we won’t be allowed to see her? Just like with the other one. And we aren’t allowed to eat. And we aren’t allowed to— We’re still dying, Tabron.”

  His voice softened marginally. “Things will get better, Raseen. I’ve talked with the king.”

  “You say that but it doesn’t happen. What we’re getting...even the extra,” her voice dropped and her eyes pleaded for understanding. “It isn’t enough.” When Tabron only shook his head, her jaw set, her eyes fired and she fisted her hands on her hips. “We’re still under attack, but from the king himself.”

  “Don’t say such things,” he ground out quietly. “We’re all doing the best we can. It’s going to take time.”

  “You’re doing fine. I can see that, but Cyral is not. Jedsyn was your friend, Tabron. Don’t you remember?” She looked back over her shoulder. The little boy I’d seen in the morning was crouched in the dirt with two other children who looked equally malnourished, building something with rocks and pebbles in front of one of the buildings. “You don’t have to care about me, but Cyral is his son. He’s barely got meat on his bones! How are children supposed to grow here?”

  Tabron’s jaw clenched, but his eyes gentled as he looked at the boy. However, when he spoke, he gave not an inch. With a firm voice, he replied, “The king will have to decide, Raseen.”

  “We’ve seen what the king will do. Orsyn was hanging by his neck just yesterday, and for no good reason. Many of us need help, Tabron. Many of us.” I could see the strain on her face. The worry. A faint buzz hit me dead center on my chest, taking me by surprise. She needed help?

  “Is there something you want to talk with me about?” I offered quickly. With a look around, I grimaced. “I can’t do an exam now because it wouldn’t be clean, but if you had a question?”

  She kept her eyes on Tabron for a moment longer before turning to me with defeat in her eyes. It seemed she’d been fighting this losing battle and was ready to give up. “I do. If you don’t mind.”

  “Ceci.” Tabron gave me a warning look.

  “Isn’t this why I was brought here? Just last night, the king said the people needed some help,” I reminded him. Turning back to the woman, I asked, “Where would you like to talk?”

  “Talk here. I’ll step away,” Tabron muttered, moving up the street some.

  “My name is Cecilia. Tell me about your concerns.” I smiled encouragingly.

  “I haven’t had a woman’s time in five months or more, and I’m not pregnant.”

  “There could be a number of reasons why, Raseen. It would be hard to give you a good answer without being able to take your history and do a full exam. Do you have a child?” Too late, I realized that could be a horrible question considering the story Tabron shared. Luckily, she nodded with a glance over her shoulder, reminding me she’d already made reference to her boy.

  “I have a boy who’s six.”

  “So you’ve been able to conceive. Any problems with that pregnancy?”

  “No.”

  “My best guess, and this is only a guess, would be that you’re too thin. A woman’s body has a monthly cycle when it can sustain a baby. If you’re too thin, it stops the cycle because you don’t have the ability to support it. Women who lose a lot of body fat will sometimes have their cycles disrupted for periods of time.”

  “If you’re right, it could come back?”

  “You’d need to gain some weight and keep yourself on healthy foods. This is your body’s way of protecting you. You can’t afford to let a baby take nutrients from you now. It would end up coming out of your bones, which would hurt you in the long run.”

  “That makes a whole lot of sense. The healers would have given me some garbage about how the spirits are upset and punishing us right now. They’ve gone off to the other villages anyway. Everyone’s left us to fend for ourselves.”

  “I don’t know about that,” I shrugged, “but what I do know is that healthy babies come from healthy mamas, and to be healthy, times need to be prosperous. The conditions need to be just right for a baby to thrive in the world, don’t you think?”

  “Yes, well, that’s not going to happen.” Raseen’s tone was bitter. “We’re all hungry here. I tried so hard to find a way to get more money. And I’ve done some things...” Shame tinged her cheeks, and she wouldn’t continue.

  “We need to get back,” Tabron called from several feet away.

  Raseen’s voice grew soft. “Thank you for talking with me. I’m glad you’re here. I really thought there was something very wrong with me, and...I can’t stand the thought of my boy not having his da and his mam. Cyral misses his da. Sometimes he dreams about his da and tells me about it. It makes me remember those good times when we were all together and we used to laugh. My Jedsyn was a joker... I guess I’m missing him still.” Her eyes teared up and she laughed self-consciously, wiping at them.

  “Of course you will. Take care,” I offered, not knowing what else to say, and began walking up the road. I rejoined Tabron and continued walking toward the palace in the distance. This place was so sad. It was rotting away to nothing if what I could see was anything to go by.

  “Is she all right?” he asked.

  “For being half starved, she’s just peachy.” I looked around with concern, seeing more, empathizing more than I wanted to. The children were not going to have good brain development without proper nutrients. How many of them were ill? It suddenly had me remembering the incident in the hospital with little Billy taking my lunch and Tabron wondering how I could be patient with him. It underscored that the system of values here was flipped upside down. “Why is there no food?”

  “Many reasons, but you don’t have to worry. The king’s stores are plentiful.” His words trailed off and, as though he realized what he was saying, he turned troubled eyes toward the palace.

  Then why wasn’t he sharing with the people? Yeah, but this wasn’t my problem. Not my business. My problem was getting myself back home. I had my own family, a job I’d worked my ass off for—

  “Ms. Cecilia! Ms. Cecilia!”

&n
bsp; A child’s voice called my name and stopped me in my tracks. I turned around to see a shy smile blossom on the thin face of Raseen’s boy. He was a bit scruffy, which only added to his sweetness.

  “What’s your name?” I asked, smiling back.

  “My name is Cyral.”

  Tabron gave him a smile, ruffling his hair. “And how are you, young one?”

  A wide, hero-worshipping smile broke out across the little boy’s face. “Fine.”

  “Thank you for your help this morning.”

  Cyral’s smile faded instantly, and he looked at me like I was going to disappear. He tugged on the arm of my sweater, so I would bend closer to him, and whispered, “I’m sorry I had to tell on you this morning, but I knew it was dangerous where you were going, and I heard you scream, and Tabron was looking for you. I knew he could save you because he’s big and strong like my da was. Please don’t be mad at me.” So that was why he looked worried.

  “I’m not mad,” I whispered back. “You were right. And he did save my life.”

  Cyral grinned wide and held out a yellow wildflower he’d picked. “This is for you.”

  “It’s beautiful,” I said with great feeling, which had him beaming. “Thank you so much.”

  “You’re welcome.” Then he ran back on his thin legs to his mom and gave me another wave. Raseen was looking at me with what looked like hope, and I couldn’t help feeling the sting.

  This was so unfair.

  Chapter Six

  “I heard there was a new girl in town, but I had to see for myself.” Without a knock or even a throat-clearing, the door to my room banged open, and a young woman with long black hair brushed back into a pretty bun on the back of her neck flounced in. She wore a long dress made of a beautiful floral print. It swished gracefully as she moved.

  She dumped an armload of clothing next to me on the bed.

  After the morning’s adventure, I wasn’t really feeling up to company. I’d been resting on the bed, getting myself mentally prepared for the next exciting episode of My Surreal Life where, as my next challenge, I got to choose a life partner from a group of strangers.