Sweet Dandelion

by Micalea Smeltzer

  “Turn over.”

  “Wha—”

  “Turn over.”

  I swallow thickly, and roll over to my stomach. He grabs my hips, maneuvering me into the position he wants me. He lowers his body and my back arches when his tongue swipes against my pussy again. I cry out, gripping the sheets between my fingers.

  I feel him stand behind me, lining his body up with mine. In one smooth move, he sheathes his cock inside me.

  Biting down on my lip to hold any more sounds inside, my grasp on the sheets tighten.

  “You feel so good,” he murmurs, his voice husky and thick. He wraps one arm around my torso, urging me up until my back is flush to his front. His fingers rest around the column of my throat as he pumps into me. I move my hips back against his, meeting his thrusts.

  “Oh God,” I cry out when his other hand slides around to rub my clit.

  With the hand at my throat he urges my head back more, capturing my lips with his.

  “Lachlan,” I pant his name. I grab onto his hand near my throat and my nails dig into his skin. “It feels so good. You make me feel so good.”

  His moans and grunts echo against my ear, along with his breath. It’s so sinfully erotic and highlighted even more so by the way the planes of his body feel behind me.

  He pumps into me harder then pulls out suddenly. Before I can protest he flips me back around and I’m lying flat on the bed. He climbs onto the bed with me, his body shadowing mine. He thrusts back in and he stifles my sounds with a kiss. He loops our fingers together beside my head, rocking in and out of me. The friction has me gasping and another orgasm is building. It doesn’t take long before I go off, my body shaking and clenching around the fullness of him inside me.

  He rises up, grabbing my hips between his hands, and pounds into me harder than before.

  “Lachlan!” I cry out, my fingers grasping at his stomach, scratching the skin.

  Another orgasm hits me and I’ve barely recovered from the last. He grunts, his moan long and drawn out as he comes too. He finishes, yanking off the condom. He tosses it in the wastebasket near the bed and tugs at his sweat-damp hair before lying beside me. He wraps his arms around me, yanking me against his side where he peppers gentle kisses against my neck.

  He keeps whispering something over and over again.

  It’s a few minutes before I realize he’s saying he’s sorry.

  Only, I don’t know what he’s sorry for.

  When he makes love to me again, this time slower, sweeter, I think I must not have heard those words at all.

  Chapter Sixty-One

  On Monday, the majority of the senior class doesn’t seem to have recovered from prom. People seem half asleep or still hungover despite a whole day of recovery in between.

  I carry my saran wrapped chicken salad sandwich into the library, surprised to find I’m the last one to arrive.

  Ansel looks up at the sound of my feet approaching and I know he’s still mad. I called him yesterday, but he ignored all calls and text messages from me.

  Please don’t be mad at me, my eyes say.

  He glares back at me and I know my silent communication is doing no good. I messed up, I know. Ansel was my prom date, as friends or not, I disrespected him by disappearing, and if he knew where I’d gone … well, I doubt he would ever speak to me again.

  “Saturday night was wild,” Sasha says, stifling a yawn, “I can’t believe you ditched us, where did you go?”

  I feel Ansel’s eyes on me, waiting for some kind of explanation that could possibly be good enough.

  “I … uh, I went home.”

  “You went home? God, you’re such a party pooper.” She tosses a wrapper at me.

  Seth, of course, says nothing and Ansel has joined him on the silent train today.

  I feel sick to my stomach, because the weight of everything is getting to me suddenly. I hate keeping secrets like this and that’s all Lachlan and I are—one giant secret.

  Picking at my sandwich, I tear it into chunks, suddenly not hungry at all. My stomach churns with unsettling emotions.

  Sasha drones on and on about the party. I’m so tempted to yell at her and tell her I don’t care about the party, but since she’s the only one speaking it’s better than the silence.

  When the bell rings I rush after Ansel. I catch up to him in the hall, my hand wrapping around his elbow. He freezes, his whole body taut like he’s disgusted by my touch.

  If he only knew.

  “Please, let me talk Ansel. I’m so sorry.” I try to tug him toward a less busy hall, but he won’t budge.

  He whips his head toward me, blue eyes narrowed and brow angry. “You told Sasha you’d meet us there, but you never did. I went in and looked for you, you know?” He seethes, vibrating with anger from head to toe. “You ignored my texts and I was fucking worried about you. But you didn’t care about that. I could’ve taken you home. We could’ve gotten a cab or the limo could’ve dropped you off. What the hell went wrong? I thought you were having fun. You seemed happy.” He glares down at me, waiting for my rebuttal.

  “I did have fun,” my voice is so small.

  “Then what the hell went wrong? Was it because of what happened to you at your old school? Did you freak out? You could’ve told me, if that’s the case. I wouldn’t have cared.”

  I blink at him. “Y-Yeah, it was … hard. You know … having fun. I felt guilty.”

  It’s a complete lie. That night, I didn’t think about my past at all. I lived in the present. I let my anger, my hate, my fears, all go like flushing them down a drain.

  Ansel must see something on my face, because his contorts with disgust and he looks at me like he doesn’t know me at all.

  “Menteuse.”

  Liar.

  Lachlan’s door is closed when I arrive, which isn’t new, but what is new is the fact it’s locked.

  I knock on the door. “Lachlan? It’s me.”

  Nothing.

  I press my ear to the door in case he’s in a private meeting to see if I hear the murmuring of voices. If he’s busy, I’ll wait somewhere else. But I don’t hear anything.

  Nothing but eerie silence.

  There’s no note on the door either.

  With a sigh, I head to the indoor track to sit and wait.

  He’ll find me.

  But he never shows up.

  On Tuesday, he doesn’t show either.

  Or Wednesday.

  Not even Thursday.

  Since I hate dealing with the office people I spend each of those days at the indoor track.

  I’m afraid he’s sick or something, but all texts go unanswered.

  Rumors begin swirling about his absence, my name dangerously tied to his.

  On Friday, everything goes to hell.

  Chapter Sixty-Two

  Getting called to the office is rarely a good thing, and my gut tells me when I show up to the principal’s office that this is bad. The rumors that have been swirling the past few days haven’t been good, all kinds of talk about Lachlan being fired for sleeping with a student—me.

  I blame the stupid conversation in the bathroom during prom with Sasha’s big fat mouth.

  Most of the rumors are far-fetched, about us having sex all over the school and all kinds of lewd remarks, but at the end of the day it doesn’t matter, because we did have sex whether or not it happened at school. No one cares if the rumors are even true or not.

  I knock on Mr. Gordon’s door and it swings open a moment later.

  “Sage,” I blurt, finding my brother sitting in the same chair he occupied all those months ago when I was enrolled. “Why are you here?”

  “I have no idea. What’s going on?”

  A sweat breaks out over my whole body and I’m sure I’m turning a dangerous shade of red.

  Bad, this is bad.

  But Lachlan still isn’t here and that worries me the most.

  Did he actually get fired over rumors? Is that where he’s been?
>
  “Have a seat Ms. Meadows.” Mr. Gordon swings his hand at the empty chair before smoothing down his tie and going behind the desk to sit in his own chair.

  I look between Principal Gordon and my brother, fighting my rising panic.

  What is going on?

  Mr. Gordon lays his palms on the table, stretching out his fingers.

  Clearing his throat, he begins, “I don’t know quite the best approach for addressing this delicate situation.”

  “Delicate situation?” Sage’s head shoots back and forth between me and the principal. “Let’s get to the point, shall we?”

  Mr. Gordon blows out a breath. “Mr. Taylor, our guidance counselor, was offered another job and put in his notice a few weeks ago that he’d be leaving before the school’s end.”

  What the hell? Another job? Did he change jobs to un-complicate things between us? Why not tell me that?

  “He’s already gone, but in his absence rumors began swirling of an inappropriate relationship between him and a student.”

  Again, Sage’s gaze shoots between Mr. Gordon and me. “I’m confused why we’re here then? Is it because she was seeing him every day? Do you need to ask questions or something? I’m sure Dani will tell you whatever you need to know.”

  I’m going to faint. Or throw up. This is bad.

  “Well, you see,” Mr. Gordon laces his fingers together, “the rumors concern Dandelion.”

  “Dani? My sister?” Sage snorts. “How?”

  He knows how. He knows what’s being hinted. But he doesn’t want to accept it.

  My hands are tight on the arms of the chair I sit in.

  Principal Gordon’s eyes shift to me and back to my brother. “Rumors have spread through the school that the relationship between Dandelion and Mr. Taylor was more than professional.”

  Sage’s whole face is bright red, his fists clenched on his lap. “I believe what you’re telling me is that the student body is spreading rumors, because a staff member left, that my sister must have slept with them? That’s the most bullshit thing I’ve ever heard.”

  “Ms. Meadows?” Mr. Gordon looks at me.

  “T-They’re rumors,” I stutter. “Mr. Taylor has helped me a lot, with what happened before, but that’s it. M-Maybe people realized that I spent my every day period with him and the rumor started that way.”

  Mr. Gordon stares at me, looking for any trace that I could be lying.

  “Ms. Meadows, if he coerced you in any way to do something you weren’t comfortable with I need to know. The school will need to do an investigation, his new place of employment will need to be contacted—”

  “That’s not necessary,” I rush out. “Seriously, it’s nothing like that.”

  “If my sister says nothing happened, I believe her.”

  Mr. Gordon sighs. “Well … I … I guess, you can go then. I apologize for bringing you all the way here.”

  Sage stands up, shaking hands with the man.

  When we leave the office, panic begins to grip me. “C-Can you take me home?”

  Sage cocks his head to the side. “Yeah, I don’t see why not. You got your stuff with you?”

  I nod.

  He signs me out and I follow him to the parking lot. He drops me off at the condo and leaves to return to work.

  Instead of heading up to his apartment I go to Lachlan’s, banging my hand on the door.

  “Open up,” I beg, tears burning my eyes.

  I lied to the principal. It was necessary, I know, but I need to see Lachlan. I need him to take me in his arms, to hold me and tell me it’ll all be okay.

  But he never comes to the door. Zeppelin doesn’t bark.

  Someone opens a door down the hall and glances my way.

  “Are you trying to get ahold of the young man who lives there?” She smiles with kind brown eyes. She’s older, probably late fifties, but she has this calm presence that instantly makes me feel at ease.

  “Yeah.” I sniffle, wiping at my face to rid my skin of the few tears that slipped free.

  “He moved out, sweetie.” She looks so forlorn at giving me this information.

  “Moved? That’s impossible.”

  Isn’t it? He wouldn’t move and not tell me.

  But then I think of his murmured I’m sorry’s and Mr. Gordon saying he took another job. I believed in that moment he’d done it for us so we wouldn’t have to worry about being caught. That we’d finally be able to love in the open.

  But that’s not what he’s done.

  He’s left me.

  “Do you live on floor eleven?”

  I startle at the sound of her voice. I forgot she was even there. I give a wooden nod.

  “Hold on a second.” She holds up a finger for me to wait.

  She unlocks her door and goes back in, returning only a moment later.

  “I was supposed to slip this under the door, but since you’re here…” She trails off, holding an envelope out to me. His familiar script is on the front, writing out the number to Sage’s apartment.

  “T-Thank you.” I wrap my fingers around it, taking it from her.

  “No problem.” She starts to turn to leave. “Are you going to be okay, sweetie?”

  “I’m fine.”

  I’m not, but what good would telling this lady do?

  She nods and heads for the elevator.

  I stand there for a few more minutes, staring at his door like I expect it to open any second. When it doesn’t, I finally catch the elevator down to Sage’s floor. I don’t have the energy to take the stairs.

  Letting myself in, I head straight for my bedroom, slamming the door closed behind me.

  I scream as loud as I possibly can and then I scream some more. His letter gets crinkled in my hands but I don’t fucking care.

  I don’t want to read whatever lame ass excuses he wrote for me.

  I start to tear the envelope in two but I barely rip it half an inch before I can’t go any further. My whole face is damp with tears and I stuff the letter in the bottom of my underwear drawer.

  Covering my face with my hands, I let all my emotions out. I wail, these soul-crushing cries like I’ve never heard before.

  I didn’t even cry like this after the shooting, but I guess by the time I woke up I was numb to everything.

  I’m not numb this time, though, and I feel everything.

  I hate it.

  I don’t want to feel this.

  It would be easier to feel nothing.

  I swipe my phone out of my backpack and bring up his contact.

  Me: You bastard! You fucking bastard! I hate you!

  Me: You left?!

  Me: How could you do that and not tell me!

  Me: I hate you so Goddamn much. I never want to see your face again.

  Me: Rumors are circulating about us, but I bet you don’t even care.

  Me: Did you EVER care about me or was it all a lie?

  Me: ANSWER ME!

  Me: I hate you. I hate you. I HATE you.

  I throw my phone and it bounces off the wall, leaving a dent, but I can’t bring myself to care.

  Anguished sounds pour out of me and I fall to the floor, cradling myself in the fetal position.

  It hurts. It hurts so much. I want it to stop. Mom, I wish I was with you. I don’t want to feel.

  I squish my eyes closed, more tears leaking out.

  Something echoes in my room and I crack my eyes open, looking for the source of the noise. It happens again and my mouth opens in surprise when I see the wind chimes gently moving, barely grazing each other when they shouldn’t be moving at all. It’s like it’s my mom talking to me in this moment. Reminding me of my strength and capabilities.

  “My sweet, Dandelion. May you always be as free as the birds, as wild as the flowers, and untamed as the sea.”

  “It hurts, Mom,” I croak, my voice raw. “Living hurts so much.”

  My eyes fall closed again and I swear I feel the backs of her fingers graze my cheek, a g
entle kiss to my forehead.

  I keep crying and at some point I drift off to sleep.

  Chapter Sixty-Three

  Sage comes home to find me asleep on the floor, still in the fetal position, with tears dried on my cheeks.

  “Dani!”

  At his exclamation I jolt awake. My eyes are sore from so much crying. I have trouble opening them, blinking slowly to clear the haze.

  “Why are you on the floor?” he asks, bending down. The concern etched on his face makes my stomach roll.

  I jump up and run across the hall to the bathroom, collapsing in front of the toilet before I empty the little food I’ve eaten today into it. I hold onto the bowl and the next thing I know Sage is there, gently pulling my hair away.

  “Are you sick?”

  My heart is sick.

  I can’t answer him because I dry heave again. My stomach cramps, looking for anything else it can empty.

  “I can run to the store and get you some medicine.”

  I close my eyes. I wish medicine could fix this.

  I squeeze my eyes closed, rolling away from the toilet. He lets my hair go as I sit against the wall, drawing my knees up to my chest. I lean my head back, looking for some kind of inner strength to get me through this.

  Lachlan is gone. I’m alone. How can I cope without him? He’s my happy place. My home.

  “Are you upset about the rumors, D? It’s high school, it’ll pass. Something else will happen and everyone will forget. It’s not true, that’s all that matters.”

  I blink my eyes open and stare at my brother.

  He rocks back, falling onto his butt. “Tell me it’s not true, Dandelion. You told the principal nothing happened.”

  I look away, beginning to cry again.

  “What the fuck!” He screams, jumping up suddenly.

  I cover my face, trying to hide … what? My shame? I’m not ashamed of loving Lachlan, but I still feel like I’ve done something horrible.

  Sage shoves everything off the counter. My toothbrush, toothpaste, brush, perfume that smashes on the floor.

  He points at me, speaking through his teeth. “You’re going to tell Mr. Gordon the truth. That man never deserves to work again. What the fuck happened, Dani?”