Amelia Fang and the Barbaric Ball

by Laura Ellen Anderson

  Florence shrieked.

  Emerging from the edge of the Petrified Forest, fluttering its long sparkly eyelashes and swishing its rainbow tail, was a terrifying Creature of the Light!

  “Don’t let it eat me!” screamed Grimaldi, hiding behind Florence.

  The unicorn shook its rainbow mane, sending glitter flying everywhere.

  “MY EYES!” Florence shouted.

  “Don’t look at it directly! Avoid the sparkly stuff!” Amelia yelled.

  Grimaldi held his scythe out in front of him, pointing it shakily at the unicorn.

  “G-g-get away from us, evil c-c-creature!” he stammered.

  The unicorn trotted forward slowly.

  “SQUISH IT!” Florence said.

  Amelia could see that Grimaldi was trying very hard to be brave.

  Then the unicorn licked the end of the scythe—and it turned into a glittery sunflower. “AAAAR­RRRRR­RGGGH!” screamed Grimaldi, dropping it as if it were red hot.

  The three friends ran as fast as they could into the Petrified Forest. Grimaldi yelped when his hood got caught on a branch.

  Before Amelia could reach her friend to help him, a fluffy kitten with huge eyes and a ruffled collar swooped down. Amelia stopped dead. If I keep really still, it might go away, she thought.

  But the tiny angel-kitten flew up to Amelia’s face and started licking her nose, making strangely musical meow sounds.

  Then, as if things couldn’t get any worse, a FAIRY appeared and flew toward Grimaldi.

  The worst of them all!” he screamed, just before the fairy began stroking his cheek.

  “Ameeeelia!” Grimaldi shouted, but he was so scared that almost no sound came out.

  Suddenly, Amelia heard a huge…

  She opened one eye. The fairy was gone.

  “YEAH!” Florence said. “I AM THE MASTER OF FAIRY SQUASHING.”

  The angel-kitten squealed and fluttered away into the beams of sunlight.

  “QUICK, IN HERE!” said Florence, leading Amelia and Grimaldi into a hole in the ground. They covered the entrance with twigs and dry leaves.

  “YOU GUYS WAIT HERE. I’M GONNA DIG MY WAY THROUGH TO MY AUNT’S PIT. SHE LIVES NEARBY.”

  “Sorry about your scythe, Grimaldi,” said Amelia, catching her breath. “You were really brave back there.”

  “And I’m sorry we didn’t save Squashy,” said Grimaldi, putting an arm around Amelia. “I promise we’ll get him back.”

  Amelia laid her head on Grimaldi’s shoulder. Florence stopped digging and shuffled her way back over.

  “IT’LL ALL BE OKAY,” she said, and wrapped her big hairy arms around them.

  “I really hope so,” Amelia said quietly, and hugged her friends tight.

  “CURLY WORMS OR STRAIGHT?” Florence’s aunt asked.

  “BOTH!” said Florence, holding out her plate. “AUNT MAVIS MAKES THE BEST WORMS ON TOAST FOR BREAKFAST. YOU SHOULD TRY ’EM, AMELIA!”

  Amelia was so tired she could barely move. She’d spent all day worrying about Squashy instead of sleeping. “I’m not very hungry, sorry.”

  “YOU GOT TO MAKE SURE YOU EAT,” said Florence’s Aunt Mavis. “OTHERWISE YOU WON’T HAVE ANY ENERGY FOR SCHOOL.”

  “AUNT MAVIS IS ALWAYS RIGHT,” Florence said through a mouthful of worms.

  “Grieving goblins!” Amelia gasped. “I need to get home before Mom discovers I’ve been out all day!”

  “IT’S OKAY,” Aunt Mavis said. “WOOO’S COVERING FOR YOU. NICE GUY.”

  Grimaldi looked worried.

  “AND DON’T WORRY, GRIMALDI. I TOLD YOUR GRIMPAPA YOU WERE DEALING WITH A TOAD-SQUASHING DISASTER. FIFTEEN DEAD. FIVE WITHOUT LEGS.”

  Grimaldi relaxed. “Ah, thank you, Mavis.”

  Amelia managed to eat a few spoonfuls of worms. She was about to grab a handful for Squashy to munch on later but stopped and felt her heart sink again. Grimaldi scooped up some worms and slipped them into Amelia’s backpack.

  “Squashy’s going to be hungry when we get him back….” He smiled, and the three friends set off for school.

  Amelia waited at the entrance of the academy for Tangine. He was late again. Florence and Grimaldi insisted on staying with her.

  “It’s okay, guys, I don’t want you getting in trouble too,” Amelia said.

  “NAH, IT’S FINE,” Florence said. “WE’RE STICKING BY YOU.”

  “That’s what friends are for, right?” Grimaldi smiled—but Amelia could tell he was a bit worried about getting yelled at.

  Amelia turned to see the scraggly vulture with three eyes landing with a clunk. Tangine jumped down from its back and sauntered over to Amelia and her friends.

  “What are wannabe-Death and the beast doing here?” he said, folding his arms.

  Florence growled.

  “Don’t call Florence that,” Amelia said. “And where’s Squashy?”

  “Back at the palace, silly,” Tangine said. “You shouldn’t bring pets to school! I don’t know how you ever got away with it.”

  “You’re being really mean,” Grimaldi said in a small voice. Confrontation was one of his biggest fears.

  “Garibaldi, isn’t it?” Tangine said, raising an eyebrow.

  “No, it’s Grim—” Grimaldi began.

  “It must be hard juggling school and death and sneaking around, eh?” Tangine interrupted. Then he clapped twice. “SHAUN! Bring the thing.…”

  A Mummy Maid came running over and held up a wilting glittery sunflower that had half morphed back into a scythe.

  Tangine didn’t even seem to notice all the disgusting glitter. He just dropped the sunflower scythe to the ground in front of Grimaldi. Then he turned to Amelia. “You look awfully tired. Were you up all day?”

  Amelia felt a wave of panic.

  “And finally, if it isn’t the beast,” Tangine sneered at Florence.

  “I TOLD YOU I AM NOT A BEAST. I’M A RARE BREED OF—” Florence started.

  But before she could finish, Tangine held a handful of long white hairs under her nose.

  “These were found on the palace grounds when I woke up this evening. They are the hairs of a rare breed of yeti.” He raised both eyebrows. “So it would be very unfortunate if you were this particular breed of yeti, hmmm?” Tangine frowned. “Trespassing on palace grounds is a punishable offense. So what’s it going to be?”

  For the first time in her life, Florence spoke at a normal volume. “Beast. I’m a…beast.”

  “Oh, then these hairs can’t possibly belong to you…beast,” said Tangine, sprinkling Florence’s hairs over Grimaldi’s head.

  “AMELIA FANG!” Miss Inspine burst out of the Catacomb Academy entrance. “Where is the prince? Oh, bothersome boogies, if we’ve lost—”

  She caught sight of Tangine and heaved such a big sigh of relief that her skull fell off.

  “Florence, Grimaldi, why aren’t you in class?” Her headless skeleton put a hand on its hip. “This is unacceptable! And, Amelia Fang, you’ve made the prince late for class YET again! I’m starting to think Frankie would make a better host, you know….”

  “Sorry, Miss Inspine. It won’t happen again,” Amelia said through gritted teeth.

  “Yeah, Ameeelia,” said Tangine, folding his arms. “You’re supposed to be setting a good example. I guess you would pick up bad habits hanging out with a beast.”

  And then Florence reached out and rubbed the top of his head hard. The hairs that had been slicked back were now sticking out in every direction. “WHO LOOKS LIKE A BEAST NOW?”

  Miss Inspine was so shocked that her whole skeleton disconnected into a big pile of bones.

  The Mummy Maid named Shaun picked Tangine up and carried him inside.

  “Aaaaargh! Is he okay?” Miss Inspine spluttered from the ground. Then she glared at Ame
lia, Florence and Grimaldi. “That’s SIX months detention for all three of you! And get to class, NOW!”

  Once Miss Inspine had managed to reconnect her bones and Tangine had spent an hour being pampered by the Mummy Maids to get his hair back into shape, the class settled down ready for their Repugnant Recipes lesson.

  “Tonight, class,” Miss Inspine said, “you will be making Fingernail-Clipping Cakes and Toe Jam. Remember to dig deep under those toenails and get out all the goodness!”

  Amelia, Florence, Grimaldi and Tangine sat in silence. The air was thick with tension and the smell of feet.

  “Squashy and I are having such fun, you know,” said Tangine, twiddling his thumbs. “We even played hide-and-seek together.”

  Amelia was too angry to speak.

  Tangine frowned. “Squashy LOVES the palace. There’s sooo much room to bounce around!”

  Amelia stared down at the bowl of toenail clippings. Her heart ached.

  “How can you miss that useless pumpkin so much?” Tangine snapped.

  Amelia’s eyes were watery and her voice was wobbly. “Because I love him more than anything,” she said quietly. “You wouldn’t understand, though, because you only seem to care about yourself.”

  Tangine looked shocked, and he started twiddling his thumbs even more furiously. Then he sat up straight and folded his arms.

  “Oh, come on! Just ask your mom and dad to buy you a new one. That’s what I would do.”

  Amelia’s voice was shaking. “That is because you don’t know the TRUE value of things,” she said. “You’re a SPOILED SPROUT!”

  Amelia arrived home feeling tired and fed up after an hour of scrubbing goblin slime off the classroom walls. She closed her bedroom door behind her and leaned against the cold wood. Then she gave a huge sigh and slid down to the floor.

  “Miss Amelia,” came Wooo’s voice from behind the door.

  “Come in, Wooo,” Amelia said wearily, moving aside.

  Wooo appeared, holding a tray of Amelia’s favorite Tongue-Twister Sandwiches.

  “Aw, thanks, Wooo,” she said, taking a sandwich. She hadn’t realized how hungry she was. “Oh, Wooo.” She chewed a mouthful. “I don’t know what to do! I just want Squashy back.”

  “Hmmm,” said Wooo, adjusting his eyeglass. “Can’t you visit your ‘new friend’ at the palace? Then how you spend your visit is up to you….”

  Amelia stopped chewing. “Wooo, you are a genius!”

  “You know where I am if you need me.” Wooo winked, disappearing through the wall.

  Amelia rushed out of her bedroom and raced along the long corridor. “Mooooom!” she called. “Where are you? I need to ask you something!”

  “Yes, darkling?” came her mother’s voice. “I’m in my dressing room!”

  “Which one?” asked Amelia, looking at the rows of doors.

  “Last door on the left!” her mom called.

  Amelia ran to the end of the corridor and opened a shiny black door. She stepped inside. “Mom— Oh.”

  Count Drake was hanging upside down from a shelf, engrossed in a crossword puzzle.

  “INTESTINE!” he yelled, and fell off the shelf into a pile of crossword books.

  Amelia shook her head and stepped back into the corridor, closing the door behind her.

  “MOM! The doors have moved again. Where are you?” she called.

  “Try the next floor up…,” her mom’s voice echoed.

  Amelia was growing impatient. “I just wanted to ask if I could visit Tangine at the palace,” she called. “Y’know, to hang out…like friends do?”

  Suddenly, a door at the other end of the corridor burst open and Countess Frivoleeta emerged, wearing the frilliest dress Amelia had ever seen. Amelia tried not to giggle. Her mom pranced down the corridor, making the frills flap like spare body parts.

  “Amelia, my little darkling of hope, what a delightful idea!” Countess Frivoleeta said.

  “So I can go?” Amelia said.

  “Of course! Spend as much time at the palace as you like. Oh, I’m so glad you and the prince are friends now. You never know! Maybe one day you’ll get—”

  “Okay, Mom, BYE!” Amelia slipped away quickly before her mom could finish. She slid down the banister of the spiral staircase, feeling more hopeful. She was finally going to get Squashy back!

  When Amelia arrived at the palace, a Gremlin Guard came rushing over.

  “What’s your business here?” he grunted.

  “Um, I’m here to see Tangine. We go to school together. The king knows my dad, Count Drake, really well. I’m Amelia Fang.” She held her breath while the Gremlin Guard scrunched up his face, looking at Amelia suspiciously. The silence seemed to last forever.

  “Very well,” he barked at last. “This way.”

  The guard led Amelia across the courtyard toward a huge golden door. It took fifteen Mummy Maids to pull it open. Just as Amelia slipped inside, a loud scream rang out.

  “AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGGGHHH!!!!”

  Amelia jumped in fright.

  “The Scream Tea is ready!” the Mummy Maids shouted. “We will prepare you a cup. Why are you here, young vampire?”

  “I’ve come to see Tangine,” Amelia said.

  “He’s just having his nightly elbow exfoliation. You can wait in here.” A Mummy Maid led Amelia into the drawing room and then shuffled out, closing the door behind her.

  Amelia gazed at her surroundings. In the middle of the vast room was an enormous black sofa with a row of sharp teeth. The walls were lined with golden bookcases and fancy cabinets.

  In the corner stood a statue of Tangine, which was much taller than the real thing. Amelia reached up and poked it on the nose. Something creaked—and a wall moved slowly to the left, revealing a narrow doorway.

  Amelia gasped. A quick look won’t hurt, she thought. She checked to make sure the coast was clear and stepped through.

  Inside, the walls were covered with framed portraits and shelf upon shelf of ancient-looking books. Amelia walked over to a wooden desk covered in a thick layer of dust.

  There was a leather-bound book on the desk, with the corner of something sticking out from the crinkled pages. Amelia slid it out, then gasped again. It was a photograph. Taking a deep breath, she stared down at the image in her shaking hand.

  The man in the picture was King Vladimir. But a much younger and happier King Vladimir. He was holding a tiny baby, who Amelia guessed must be Tangine. Next to the king hovered a small, shimmering lady with white flowing hair and GLITTER all over her big patterned…FAIRY WINGS.

  There was no denying it. She was a terrifying Creature of the Light!

  “Peculiar pumpkins!” Amelia shuddered. “This can only mean one thing….”

  Amelia looked closer at baby Tangine. His hair was white and sparkling, and on his back was a pair of tiny fairy wings. “Tangine is half Creature of the Light!” she breathed.

  Amelia picked up the book that had held the photograph. She wiped the front cover with her sleeve. The words

  Vlad’s Book of Special Memories

  appeared in swirling golden letters. Amelia’s heart was pounding. She opened the diary carefully. Inside, she found more photos of King Vladimir and the fairy.

  Then, a few pages in, Amelia came across some diary entries.

  I am completely and utterly head over heels in love. Today, I’m going to ask Fairyweather if she will marry me.

  Amelia’s eyes widened.

  I’ve made us a picnic to enjoy in the Petrified Forest at dusk. She said she’d try some Grilled Guts as long as I’d try some Sweet Sparkle Swirls. To be honest, I’d love anything Fairyweather made me. She’s the most kind-hearted creature I’ve ever known.

  Amelia turned the page, to find more pictures of King Vladimir and the fairy—who, Amelia
realized, must be Fairyweather. The more Amelia looked at the fairy, the less scary she seemed. She had a kind, happy face—nothing like the awful fairies in the books Amelia had read at school.

  Today Fairyweather and I got married by the Wishing Well of Well-Wishes in the Meadow of Loveliness. The Wishing Well was rather rude, and splashed water at me, but I was far too happy to care! I want to announce our love to everyone, but Fairyweather is worried she won’t be accepted. The Nocturnians still believe that Creatures of the Light are terrifying and dangerous. I can’t blame them. We’ve been taught to fear the Creatures of the Light for generations. But now I know the truth. I just wish I could prove it to the rest of Nocturnia. I can’t even tell my best friend, Drake.

  Amelia sat still, unable to turn the page.

  All her life she had believed that Creatures of the Light were frightful beings that wanted to cause Nocturnians harm. She had been just as scared of them as everyone else.

  We are so happy! We’ve had the pudgiest, ugliest baby and I am overwhelmed with love! He looks a little like a squashed pumpkin right now, but I’m sure he’ll take after his beautiful mother and grow into a dashing young man! We’ve decided to call him Tangine Fairyweather La Floofle the First. But to the rest of Nocturnia, he shall be known as Prince Tangine the First. The kingdom can’t know about his mother just yet.

  The next ten pages were full of photos of Tangine as a baby, then a toddler.

  Amelia thought he actually looked cute without that smug grin plastered on his face. He was hugging his parents in almost every photograph. Amelia wondered how such a sweet little boy could have turned into such a mean, spoiled sprout.