Insanity

by Kira Moericke

  “Jeez, can you turn that thing off?” Nova grumbled into her pillow.

  Kicking off the blanket, I got up and clicked off the alarm. “Come on, Nova. It’s time to get up.”

  “What for?”

  “Detention, remember?”

  “Ugh!” She groaned, but hauled herself up. “Fuck detention!”

  All I did was shake my head as I made my way to my closet. I blocked out Nova as I changed out of pajamas and into a pair of black leggings and a black tank-top. I slipped on a red and black plaid shirt, the sleeves rolled up halfway. I slipped my feet into a pair of my brown sweater-cuff ankle boots, and to top it off, twisted my long hair into a bun on top of my head.

  “Ready?” I turned to Nova, who still hadn’t moved from her bed. She was sitting at the end, staring out the window.

  “Ha.” She laughed bitterly, then stood up. She came over and grabbed a T-shirt and a pair of black, slashed shorts from her side of the closet.

  I diverted my eyes as Nova changed out of the pajama clothes and moved closer to my desk. I grabbed my phone from the drawer, checking to see if there were any messages. There were three. All from Rue.

  Rue: Hey, grl, what’s up?

  Rue: Miss u lots!!! ♥

  Rue: When u have the chance, call me.

  I quickly shot Rue a text, promising that I’d call her later today, and that I missed her also. Then I hid my phone back in my desk drawer.

  “Ugh, I guess I’m ready,” Nova announced. She was fixing her hair in front of a mirror, but when she saw me looking at her through the reflection, she turned to me. “Ready, New Girl?”

  I shrugged. “I guess.”

  I followed Nova out of the room and down the hall. I didn’t know where we were supposed to go, so I was completely relying on Nova for guidance.

  A few minutes of wandering the hall, I heard a familiar, stern voice. “Miss Bourgeois, Mr. Hart, do you know where Miss Byron and Miss Knightley are?”

  “Actually, Mrs. Dur–”

  “We’re here,” Nova called as we made our way around the corner. Then she mumbled, “Don’t get your granny panties in a twist.”

  “What did you say, Miss Byron?” the teacher snapped. She narrowed her eyes at Nova.

  “Nothing,” Nova replied. She lowered her gaze as she dug one of her nails into the soft flesh of her inner wrist as if that could keep her from lashing out.

  “That’s what I thought.” She raised her head and started down the hall. “Follow me.”

  Hesitantly, the four of us followed.

  “I thought you weren’t going to come,” Lena whispered as we walked down the quiet hallways. The only sound came from our shoes brushing against the carpet. “I told you I was going to take the fault.”

  “I know,” I started, “but I’d feel too guilty if you took the blame for me. I mean, if I really didn’t want to go to the party, I wouldn’t have gone. I guess maybe a small part of me really had wanted to go to the party.”

  Lena stared at me.

  My brows furrowed just a little. “Lena?”

  Without saying anything, she snapped her head forward and quickened her pace.

  Okay…that was weird.

  “Hey.” Jayden appeared on my other side, a dashing smile on his face.

  “Hi.” I smiled back.

  “You ready for this?” he asked as our group rounded a corner and shortly came to a small staircase leading to the third floor.

  “As I’ll ever be,” I replied grimly.

  Our group made our way up to the third floor in silence, then slipped through the hall. There was a musty smell in the air, and I could tell that not many people visited this floor.

  “Alright!” the teacher bellowed once we arrived to the end of the hall. There was a tiny staircase that led straight to an ominous gray door that looked chipped from time. “I talked to Principal Zastrow, and he said that this attic hasn’t been touched in many, many years.” She smiled wickedly. “So I figure, with the four of you cleaning, it should take at least until noon to get it done.”

  From behind, Nova groaned.

  “I’ll let the four of you head inside right away and start looking around while I get some brooms and dusters.” When none of us moved right away, she snapped, “Well, get going!”

  We all jumped to attention and started for the attic door. As we passed by the prissy teacher, she handed us each a flashlight.

  “I can’t believe we have to clean some stupid attic that no one ever goes into,” Nova complained as Lena opened the door. We all followed her into the dark room.

  I flipped on my flashlight as soon as I stepped into the darkness. My nose twitched as it took in ancient dust.

  “This place is a pigsty.” Nova kicked away an old box that tipped over, spilling out even more little boxes. She beamed her light around the room. “It’ll take forever to get this place cleaned up.”

  “Well, two of us can take one side, and two can take the other. We could probably get it done faster that way,” Jayden said, being the go-getter of the group. He turned to look at me, though it was hard to make out his features. “Em? Want to help me?”

  “Yeah.” I nodded. “Sure.”

  “So Lena and Nova, you can take the other side.”

  “No, really” Nova said sarcastically as she and Lena started to make their way to the other side of the attic. “I thought we would clean on the rooftop.”

  “Let’s just hurry and get out of here,” Lena said. She sounded unnerved. “There are better things to do then sift through all this junk.”

  “I don’t think this is all junk,” I said as I started to make my way to one side. “Some of it’s more like–” The tip of my boot came in contact with a box, knocking out its contents. A single item rolled out and stopped on the floor in front of me.

  “What is that?” Jayden asked from behind as I knelt down. I held the flashlight between pinched knees and picked up the object that lay on its side.

  “I…I think it’s a…” I gently took the round object in both hands. It was heavier then it looked. I gently used the padding of my fingers to brush away some of the dust. There was an engraving on the top: To my Amoy. Cupping the bottom of it with one hand, I used my other to lift up the top. Music spilled out as soon as it was all the way open. It took me a moment to recognize the song, but as soon as I did, a chill rushed through me. It was “Lavender’s Blue.”

  “…A music box.”

  I held the music box closer to my flashlight. Royal blue fabric aligned the inside, hiding all the gears as two little figures danced in a circle, over and over as the music played. I looked at the two figures closely and saw that the boy had light hair pulled back, while the girl had blond hair pinned to the top of her head. They were both wearing beautiful Victorian styled clothing.

  This is amazing. I watched the figures dance for a moment longer before I glanced behind them and saw a small mirror on the inside of the lid. I saw my face covered in shadows looking back at me.

  “Em?” Jayden’s voice penetrated the calming air around me. “Are you okay?”

  “Uh, yeah.” I snapped the music box closed and placed it off to the side. Snatching my flashlight from between my knees, I stood up. I hurried to the far side of the attic with Jayden close behind. “So, um, what should we do first?”

  “Well, we could throw away all the empty boxes,” he replied, picking up a large cardboard box. He tipped it upside down, but all that came out was some dust.

  “Yeah. Sure.” I really didn’t care what we did. My mind was still on the music box. It seemed vaguely familiar. Have I seen it somewhere before?

  “Hey, you okay?” Jayden gently bumped his elbow into me. “You seem…off.”

  “Oh, yeah. I’m fine.” I shook my head, ridding the music box from my head. I quickly picked up a box to my left and saw that it was filled with old, bunched-up newspapers. “I’m just thinking about…the dance.”

  “Oh?” Through the dark, I could
feel Jayden’s eyes on me.

  “Yeah.”

  “Hey, speaking about the dance, I was wondering what color dress you’re going to wear.” He walked over and picked up some junk from off the floor, then placed it in one of the boxes. “You know, so we can color coordinate?”

  “Uh, actually, I haven’t gotten a dress yet.” I bent down and grabbed some old books that were piled on top of one another. I picked one up by the binding, and all the pages fell out. They scattered loudly to the floor. Sighing, I placed the box to the side, tossed the sad-looking binding inside, and started to pick up the scattered papers.

  “Well, that’s fine. If you just want to let me know when you do get a dress.”

  “I will.”

  Jayden and I worked in silence for the next half hour, putting things away into empty boxes, then stacking them neatly in the corners of the attic. We worked together as a team, and soon we had half of our space cleared out.

  “Ugh, this is pointless!” Nova exclaimed from the other side of the room. “There’s too much shit in here.”

  “Well, if you put as much effort into cleaning as you do in your complaining, we’d be almost done by now,” said Lena.

  “What’s going on?” I moved away from Jayden, who was sorting through some old candles, and went over to Nova and Lena’s side of the attic.

  “I’m giving up!” Nova threw her hands up as she rose to her feet.

  Lena sighed and gathered all of her hair to one side. With the beam from my flashlight, I could see that she looked as tired and miserable as the rest of us. “All she does is complain.”

  I pressed my lips together and looked around. It didn’t even look like they’d touched anything.

  “Do you want me to help?”

  “No, you don’t have to,” Lena said the same time Nova shouted, “Yes!”

  “I think I’m going to help you guys.” The look on Lena’s face told me she was going to object my offer, but before she could, I moved away. “Jayden, I’m going to help Lena and Nova for a little while,” I called across the room.

  “Okay,” came his reply.

  I turned and started working on a trunk. Opening it up, I saw that it was filled with old clothes that were slightly discolored and smelled of mothballs. Reaching inside, I started to fold them into better piles. Maybe we could have the school donate them to some local thrift shop?

  “Hey, Blondie, need a dress yet?” Nova called. Being that I was the only blond here, I reckon that she was talking to me.

  “Yeah. Why?” I pulled out an old cloth jacket and folded it.

  “I think I just found you one.”

  I stood up and moved over to where Nova was standing near the back of the attic. I chased my beam of light with hers, and landed it on a beautiful sheath, champagne-colored dress made of lace and silk. It was so simple and yet so beautiful.

  “It’s amazing.” I reached out and gently touched the lace sleeve. Closing my eyes, I imagined myself at the Autumn Ball, dancing in Jayden’s arms.

  No; Casey’s arms. In a ballroom bathed in gold candlelight, with other couples dancing around me, the women’s dresses fanning around themselves like fully blossomed flowers. The sound of violins floating in the air around us.

  “I do.”

  I snapped my eyes open with a gasp and yanked my hand away. What was that?

  “You’re not actually planning on wearing that, are you?” Lena asked, coming up beside me. She pointed her flashlight at the dress alongside Nova and I. “I mean, it looks like a wedding dress.”

  “So? It’s a dress,” Nova said.

  “Yeah, but it probably smells like mothballs.”

  “You know there’s this magical place called the dry cleaners, where they clean these types of things.”

  Lena huffed at Nova’s snarky comment. “Em, you can find a way better dress. I’d be more than happy to help you search for one online.”

  “No.” I stared at the dress. Something inside of me told me I had to have it, even if it did smell like stinky mothballs. “This is the one.”

  “One of what?” Jayden appeared behind me suddenly.

  “Blondie, here, found her dress,” Nova replied.

  Jayden peered over my shoulder to look at the dress. “What color is that?”

  “I’m not exactly sure. Champagne, I think?”

  “Personally, I think you’d look better in, I don’t know, pink,” Lena said. She moved away from us and started cleaning again.

  “No one cares what you think, Lena,” Nova shot out.

  “Fine. Whatever. Don’t listen to me,” she grumbled.

  “How am I supposed to get this dress to my room?” I asked, wondering how I’d be able to sneak it past the bitchy teacher that was guarding the attic.

  “We’ll come back later and take it,” Nova told me.

  “When?” I asked, turning to look at her.

  Nova raised her flashlight and shined it up into her face, giving her a ghoulish appearance created by light and shadows. She beamed. “How about midnight?”

  SIXTEEN

  WE DIDN’T WAIT until midnight to slip through the hallways to get the dress. Instead, it was more like ten o’clock, right after I called Rue and caught up with her for an hour or so. I had changed into my black sweater and slipped on my black beanie. I didn’t know why I felt the need to change, but I did so anyway.

  “Are we going to get Lena?” I asked as I followed Nova through the dark hallways, using the flashlights from our electronic devices to guide our way.

  “Hell no.” We stole around a corner. “That bitch didn’t even want you to have the dress.”

  “She’s not a bitch,” I said defensively. Then I frowned. “And besides, she was just looking out for me.”

  “I think she was jealous,” Nova said.

  I sighed. I wasn’t going to argue with her and risk being heard. I really, really didn’t want to have to suffer through another detention. It had taken us until one o’clock to finish cleaning the attic.

  We made it to the attic, unheard. And I couldn’t have been more relieved. When we reached the small staircase that led to the attic door, I moved ahead of Nova. I couldn’t wait to have the dress. But when I reached for the doorknob, I found the door to be locked.

  My heart sunk.

  “What’s wrong?” Nova asked from behind. “Hurry up and open the door.”

  “I can’t.” I looked over my shoulder at her. “The door is locked.”

  “Ugh. Move aside.” Nova pushed her way past me, almost making me fall back down the few steps. I knew if I fell, I wouldn’t have gotten very hurt, but I still grasped tightly onto the wooden railing for support.

  “What are you doing?” I tried to peer around her to see what she was doing, but I couldn’t see over her shoulder.

  “I almost…” She jiggled the doorknob. “Got it!” She shoved the door open and stepped inside. “Let’s go get that dress.”

  I followed.

  I was thankful for the light on my phone. I hung tight onto the piece of technology as I made my way over to the dress. Nova was already there, using the flashlight from her iPod.

  The beauty of the dress took me by surprise again, and I had to pause just to take it in.

  “Well, are you going to take it?” Nova’s voice snapped me out of my daze.

  “Y–yeah.” Shaking my head, I used my one free hand to try to slip the dress carefully from the headless, cotton- filled mannequin.

  “Who do you think it belonged to?” Nova asked, not bothering to help me. “It looks ancient.”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know.” And I didn’t care. It was mine now. Gathering the bottom of the dress, I carefully moved it upwards, hoping to slip it over the mannequin.

  “Maybe it belonged to her?”

  It took me a moment, but I finally had the dress free. Draping it carefully over an arm, I turned and saw that Nova was standing near the trunk that I had sorted through earlier, pointing to something
tucked into the corner. Moving closer, I saw that she was looking at a large oil painting. The image was partially covered by an old, discolored sheet, but I could make out some of the painting. It was of a young woman. I could make out one eye and the right side of her face.

  Something about this oil painting stirred something deep inside me, and without control, I reached forward and yanked away the sheet, tossing dust into the air. The small particles floated around us for a moment before settling on the floor.

  “Whoa.”

  “What?” I dropped the sheet next to my feet, then pointed my phone at the picture. My mouth dropped and my phone fell, clattering on the floor. Oh. My…

  “It’s you,” Nova said, sounding just as shocked as I felt.

  I didn’t say anything. Instead, I just stared at the painting, taking it in. Nova was right, even though there were slight differences between me and the painting. The girl in the painting’s hair was a shade darker than mine, and her nose wasn’t as sloped. But the eyes…those were my eyes. And she had the same small scatter of moles next to her left eye–the ones that Casey said looked like the constellation Andromeda. There was no denying it…the girl in the painting was me.

  “Nova, this isn’t funny,” I said, my voice on the verge of tears. This had to be some kind of joke. Some awful, twisted joke.

  “I’m not laughing,” she said, her voice very serious.

  I didn’t know what to do. I had to get out of here. Now. Snatching my phone from the floor, I fled from the attic, the dress fluttering from my arm.

  ***

  I didn’t care that I had abandoned Nova in the attic. All I cared was getting back to the safety of our room. Unlocking the door, I rushed inside the room, flipped on the light, and hurried to my desk where I placed my dress over the back of my desk chair, then collapsed onto my bed.

  I could feel the hard springs press against my back, but it couldn’t divert my thoughts away from what I had just seen. There had to be an explanation, but I couldn’t think of any.

  I need to forget that I ever saw it, I thought as I stared at the dark water spot above my head.