GQ How to Win at Life
Page 14
1: ASK FOR HELP
“Initially, you’ll try to restart the engine,” says Sedgwick. Simply turn the key (8 in the next picture). If that doesn’t work or the pilot is still out of action, you need to ask for help. Put on the headset, press the talk button (7) and say, “Mayday, mayday, mayday,” followed by the plane’s unique registration. This is usually on a placard on the instrument panel. No response? Try the standard emergency frequency, 121.5, on the radio (6). Next, look for the transponder (5), a box labelled, usually, XPDR or TP, displaying four digits. Dial up 7700 to put others on alert.
2: TAKE CONTROL
If you can get through to someone on the radio, they will be able to talk you through landing the plane. Whether you have assistance or not, however, the procedure is the same. First, take hold of the control yoke (1). Pushing it forward makes the nose dip, pulling it back pulls the nose up, left turns the plane left, and vice-versa. Also, locate your key instruments: the artificial horizon (2), which will show you if you’re level; altimeter (3), which measures height; and airspeed indicator (4).
3: GIVE YOURSELF TIME
Aircrafts with engines will glide, but they will descend faster than a purpose-built glider so, if you have enough airspeed (perhaps the plane was in a dive), see if you can climb. “The higher you are, the more time you have to sort out whatever your problem is.” As you do so, beware of stalling – this is when the plane’s angle is such that the speed slows to the extent that you fail to generate lift. If this happens, it will cause the plane to shudder and a warning tone to sound. To fix it, push the nose down until the warning stops.
4: LOOK FOR A PLACE TO LAND
If you’re near a runway, head to it. “Any runway is better than no runway, because it will have emergency services and crash facilities.” If there’s no airport nearby, look for large roads, but be mindful of cars. “The problem is that major roads have got bridges across them, but it’s better than landing in a field. If you’re looking for fields, you’re looking for a smooth field, not a ploughed field. Golf courses are quite good places, apparently.”
5: PUT IT DOWN
Use your intuition to control the descent. If you can fit your fist in the gap between the plane’s nose and the horizon, that’s about right. “It should be a flatter landing than if you had power available. The idea would be to get somewhere over the landing area, let the aeroplane fly as low as you think you can, and just flare at the last minute.” To flare, pull back gently on the stick before you hit the ground. To brake, push the top of the rudder pedals with your toes. If you made it one piece, thank your guardian angels.
MAKE IT THROUGH THE APOCALYPSE
“As soon as things fall apart, people show their real faces,” says Selco Begovic. “You would be amazed at how many bad people are around you.” Begovic knows of what he speaks. During the Bosnian conflict in the early Nineties he survived in a city under siege for a year, cut off from food, electricity and the rule of law. Now, he runs SHTF School (that stands for “Sh*t Hits The Fan”) to share what he learned with survivalists who not only wish to prepare for a catastrophic scenario, but also want the certainty that what they’re being taught is useful. “Survival is a huge industry but it’s full of lies,” he says. His experience means that this advice on what to do if society breaks down is the real deal…
1: PACK A “BUG OUT” BAG
This is a bag that contains the essentials you will need when leaving town. Have all the possible kit laid out on shelves, so you can quickly select the bare minimum for the situation. Think about shelter, hygiene, food, fire, water, tools, clothes and footwear. Also have three bag options: a small backpack, a suitcase and a military-style backpack. Judge what to take depending on how long you’ll be bugging out for, and what is least likely to attract attention. If the rule of law has totally collapsed, a suitcase, for instance, may entice people to rob you.
2: FOLLOW YOUR PLAN
You should have identified a safe haven where you will go in the event of a disaster, and friends that will go there with you. “Many people imagine that a safe haven is a small cabin in the wilderness. But it is impossible for ordinary city people to live and survive in the wilderness.” Instead, arrange a bolthole in a small village community where there are people you know. Prepare various routes and means for getting there, avoiding high-risk areas, such as bridges, inner cities and petrol stations.
3: THINK BEYOND MONEY
In the short term, money will be useful. In the long term, less so. Some survivalists obsess over buying gold bars. “Actually, if you want to buy something to trade later, I suggest you buy 100 or 1,000 cheap lighters rather than 100g [3½oz] of gold.” If you do want to store some gold for bigger purchases, keep it in small quantities – 30 gold rings, say. A single ring is a more practical unit of exchange, and you can take it off your finger and hand it over like it’s your only one, rather than part of a stash. That’s much safer.
4: HAVE A FOOD STRATEGY
If you think you will simply start producing your own food, check yourself. “People from urban areas don’t realize how much effort they’ll need to put in.” That’s why you must have a stash of six months’ to a year’s worth of food in your safe haven. You will need to have established connections with those nearby who can farm, and start building a small farm yourself. Focus on chicken and rabbits – they take little time and effort to rear – as well as potatoes and beans because they will grow almost anywhere.
5: KEEP YOURSELF SAFE
If guns are legal in your country, Begovic advises tooling up. Choose weapons that are commonly available so you can easily get hold of extra ammo. If guns are illegal, you should still learn how to handle one, just in case. Perhaps the biggest threat to your safety, however, is your health. Make sure you have diarrhoea medicine – stomach bugs will be rife – and those with a medical condition should learn as much as possible about it and stockpile relevant treatment. “You need to understand that there will be no medical system, so you need to be your own physician.”
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Charlie Burton is a journalist based in London. As Senior Commissioning Editor of GQ he writes everything from celebrity profiles to political opinion. In 2015, he started the magazine’s monthly how-to column, “Bring Your ‘A’ Game”, which inspired this book. He is a graduate of Lincoln College, Oxford, and was formerly the Associate Editor of Wired .
THANKS
First and foremost, I would like to thank all those who generously let me interview them for this book. It could not have happened without them and I hope they feel I did justice to their insights. It would also not be half the book it is without Dave Hopkins’ meticulous illustrations. It has been a pleasure to work with him.
I owe an enormous debt to GQ ’s Editor, Dylan Jones, for taking me on all those years ago, and for his support and encouragement. I am extremely grateful to Bill Prince, both for his counsel and for helping create the original column that inspired this book, and to the powerhouse that is Harriet Wilson for making it all happen. Thanks also to Paul Henderson, Jonathan Heaf, Stuart McGurk, Paul Solomons, Oliver Jamieson, Eleanor Halls, George Chesterton, Mark Russell, Agnes Bataclan and everyone at GQ .
My huge appreciation to Octopus Publishing: Joe Cottington for commissioning the project; Sybella Stephens for her editorial prowess; Jonathan Christie for his creative direction. Thanks to my agent Ben Clark, who also secured two of the interviewees, and the whole team at LAW.
Above all, my love and gratitude to my family, especially Emily, who helped in a thousand ways – even while we were planning our wedding.
FOR EMILY
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