The Tiger Mom's Tale

by Lyn Liao Butler

  Hearing that pierced Lexa’s heart. How could she be responsible for making an old woman leave her beloved home, the home she’d built for her family all these years?

  “But whether or not you accept Pong’s conditions, I think you should come back for Baba. He was so sorry, ChiChi. His last thought was getting to you. And I think it’d help you too.”

  “I know.”

  “Come back and make your peace with Baba. Help him rest.”

  There was silence as Lexa tried to imagine her father’s spirit floating around, waiting for her to return to Taiwan. Even though she didn’t believe in ghosts, her spine tingled and goose bumps suddenly broke out along her arms. Andi reached out and laid a hand on Lexa’s arm.

  “Okay.” Lexa stopped and took a breath. “I’m going to accept Pong’s conditions and come back to Taiwan.” Immediately she felt lighter, relief coursing through her at finally voicing her decision out loud.

  Lexa heard Hsu-Ling’s sharp intake of breath at the same time that Andi took her hand back and pumped her fist in the air.

  “You will? You mean it? You’re coming to Taiwan?”

  “Yes. I want to say good-bye to Baba, to see Taiwan again, and Ah-Ma. It’s also time I faced your mother.” She suddenly felt weak-kneed and was glad she was sitting down. “I’m not afraid of her,” she lied.

  Yeah, right, Andi mouthed at her, causing Lexa to glare at her.

  “I’m so glad!” Hsu-Ling’s voice rose in excitement. “And I will back you one hundred percent. I won’t let my mother push you around this time. That building is your legacy and should have been your second home.”

  Lexa let out a breath of relief when she heard Hsu-Ling say that. “Thanks. I’ll look into plane tickets tonight. The final prayer ceremony is in a month, right?”

  “Yes. I’m so glad you’re coming. I’ll arrange everything for you on this end. I can’t wait to see you again. Ah-Ma is going to be so happy. She’s missed you so much all these years.”

  “It’ll be great to see her again, and the rest of the family.”

  They hung up, and Lexa sank back against her chair. “I’m going to Taiwan.”

  “I’m so glad you are. You think your mom will go with you?”

  “Yes. I saw her yesterday when she taught her yoga practicum class in order to graduate from her yoga teacher training. She said she’d go with me.”

  “Your mom graduated already?”

  “Yeah, she did great. Phoenix and I both took her class.”

  Andi raised her eyebrows in question. “And . . . ? How are things with Phoenix?”

  Lexa started eating again. “Better. We actually have a lot in common. We talked some yesterday. Her father died before they could make peace about her telling him she’s gay. She gets it, my feelings and regrets about my father.”

  “That’s great, Lexa. I’m happy things are working out for your family.”

  Lexa nodded, and they resumed eating. For some reason, something Kiley had said to her weeks earlier popped into her head. You have to face the past in order to confront your future.

  Lexa thought she knew what she wanted in life. But the past couple of months had made her question how happy she really was being single and alone, with only her career to sustain her. Maybe it was finally time to put the past behind her to see what her future could hold. Just like Kiley’s fortune cookie had said.

  40

  Shifu?”

  Lexa stood at the entrance of the temple. It was after the Level One class, and the room was empty. She looked at the giant dragon painted on one of the red walls, the green training floor, and the statues of gods and goddesses scattered around. This room was as familiar to her as the house she’d grown up in. Yet she hadn’t been here in years. Maybe it was time to come back, find room in her busy schedule to practice for herself again.

  He came out of his office in a T-shirt and jeans. “Chi.”

  Out of habit, her right hand automatically went up to a prayer at heart center, with her left hand below it, her palms turned up. “Amituofo.”

  “Amituofo.” He gestured with a hand. “Come. Sit.” It was always like this with them. She wouldn’t see him for years, but whenever she showed up, he always treated her as if he’d just seen her the day before.

  He sat and studied her. He was a man of few words, but when he did speak, everyone listened. Lexa was leaving for Taiwan in a week, and her impending departure was making her so nervous she hadn’t slept much in the past few days. And when she felt out of sorts and uncertain, she always came to the one place she’d felt safe and in control: the temple and Shifu.

  “I’m going to Taiwan,” she finally said, knowing he wouldn’t speak until she did. “Next Friday.” She was going to stop in San Francisco first to see Jake for two days before flying on to Taiwan.

  “Ah. Going back for the first time.”

  She’d missed his voice. His English was surprisingly good, and the way he tended to overpronounce certain words always made her smile.

  She nodded. “My father died. I’m going back for his hundredth-day prayer ceremony.”

  He leaned back on the wooden stump he was perched on. Anyone else, she’d be afraid they’d topple over, but Shifu had incredible strength and balance. He stayed upright, even as his body reached out at an impossible angle.

  “Why did you come here to study?”

  She was taken aback by his question. “What?” She’d expected him to say he was sorry about her father, or maybe offer encouragement, knowing how difficult it was for her to return to Taiwan after all these years. But she should have known Shifu wouldn’t follow script. His mind didn’t work that way.

  “When you were child.” He righted himself on the stump. “Why did you choose to come here?”

  “I don’t know. Something drew me.” She thought back. “From my first class with you, I knew this was the right place for me.”

  “Yes.” He nodded. “I watch you grow up. I watch you become strong, in mind and body. Kung Fu gave you confidence. You believe in yourself, trust yourself.”

  She stared at her hands. Yes, Shifu had done that. Or, he would say, Kung Fu had. She knew his mission was to spread the philosophy of Kung Fu and Chan Buddhism to as many people as he could. But he had no idea what Kung Fu had done for her.

  She looked up and met his eyes. Or maybe he did know. The wisdom shining from his eyes was what had drawn her in that first class.

  “I have to confront the woman whose lies have kept me away.” She was surprised when those words left her lips. She hadn’t meant to say them out loud.

  “Your stepmother.”

  Lexa went still, and then lifted her gaze to his face. Her stepmother. In all these years, she’d never once thought of Hsu-Ling’s mother as her stepmother. But he was right. Pin-Yen was her stepmother. Just like Greg was her stepfather.

  She told Shifu all that had happened, and about Pong’s will and letter. Her hands clenched at her sides, and she looked down. “He killed my father. He told him the truth, and my father ran out and died. I hate Pong for that.”

  “Chi.” He said her name quietly, but with an authority that made her look up. “Peace is the most powerful weapon on Earth.”

  She stared at him, not answering. She didn’t even know if he understood half of what she was saying, since it sounded so convoluted to her ears.

  When she remained silent, he said, “Peace is the highest level of Kung Fu. You find peace here.” He thumped his chest. “Then nothing can touch you.”

  She wanted to ask him how. How did she find peace in her heart to accept what she couldn’t change? And why was she suddenly having second thoughts about going back to Taiwan when she was no longer that scared little girl? Pin-Yen couldn’t hurt her anymore. She’d succeeded in driving Lexa away and out of her life for twenty-two years, but no more. Lexa was going
back to claim her inheritance and her place in the Chang family. Nothing Pin-Yen could do could stop her. So then why did dread fill her heart and mind? This was what had driven her to the temple. She’d always found solace here.

  Shifu stood and came to her side. “You remember when you told me you no longer wanted to study Kung Fu?”

  Her mouth opened and she gaped at him because that hadn’t been exactly what she’d said. She’d told him she was going away to college. Before she could respond, he laughed. “Kidding,” he said. “But remember what I said?”

  She smiled at him. No one ever expected him to crack a joke, so when he did, it always took people by surprise. “You told me that life is precious. I had to follow my heart. Open my mind and heart. Kung Fu will always be with me.”

  “Yes.” He nodded. “Be honest with yourself. You will be fine in Taiwan, Chi. Ni shi zhongguo ren.” You are Chinese.

  “Shi,” Lexa answered in Mandarin. “Wo shi zhongguo ren.” I am Chinese.

  “Then you have nothing to worry about.” He stood up straight, and just like when he started and ended a class, he shouted out, “Amituofo!”

  Lexa stood, copied his stance, and repeated, “Amituofo!”

  “More chi!”

  “Train harder!” she shouted in response, even as she felt her eyes water.

  “Merry Christmas!” Shifu yelled back with a straight face.

  “Happy New Year!” she responded, and couldn’t stop the lone tear that fell from her eye and trailed its way down her cheek, even as Shifu and Lexa grinned at each other over his little joke. She’d learned in her first class that “amituofo” was a greeting, for saying hello or good-bye, or literally, Buddha bless you, or even Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Shifu always ended his class this way.

  She had a sudden urge to hug him, but one didn’t throw one’s arms around a Shaolin Temple monk. He might pull a sword on her and slice off her head. Instead, she just grinned at him, willing him to understand how much he’d helped her over the years.

  He looked at her with a gleam in his eyes, and before she knew what he was doing, he reached out and pulled her into a tight hug. “What? No hug for all I’ve done for you?”

  He let her go, and she looked at his face, at the smile lighting him up, so different from the stern, serious face he usually showed in class. She laughed, and Shifu joined in, their laughter filling the air and lifting the cloud around her heart.

  41

  Lexa. Phoenix fell down the stairs and broke her leg.”

  “Oh, no, Mom. Is she okay?”

  “She’s fine. A bit bruised and banged up, but the broken leg is the worst of it. I’m at the hospital with her now.”

  “What can I do?”

  “I have Corey and Connor with me. They spent the night last night.”

  “That’s right. Their first sleepover at Phoenix’s place.” Her mom had been so happy when Maddie had allowed the kids to stay over.

  “I can’t get ahold of Maddie.” Her mom’s voice was rushed, the words running together. “Could you possibly come and get them so they don’t have to sit in the hospital?”

  It was Sunday, five days before she was leaving for Taiwan, and Lexa had the day off. But all she could think was, Does this mean Mom won’t be able to go to Taiwan with me? She immediately felt bad for her selfish thought and said aloud, “I’ll come right now.”

  * * *

  • • •

  “So, you know Phoenix is laid up with her broken leg.”

  “Yes, Maddie. I know. I was at the hospital yesterday with them.” Lexa had the phone on speaker so she could finish her makeup. She rolled her eyes, which was a mistake when trying to put on mascara. She poked herself in the eyeball and yelped in pain.

  “What are you doing?” Maddie asked.

  “Trying to put mascara on.”

  “Where’re you going? Hot date on a Monday night?”

  “No, just dinner with Andi and Elise. It’s Andi’s night off. Why are you calling? I’m running late.”

  Maddie huffed on the phone. “Well, sorry. I was calling to do you a favor, but if you don’t have time for me . . .”

  “Come on, Maddie. Just spit it out.”

  Maddie sniffed. “Mom feels bad leaving Phoenix by herself while she goes to Taiwan with you. You know Phoenix can’t even take a shower by herself? Mom has to help her. God, have you ever thought of Mom and her together? Like, having sex? What do you think they do?”

  “Maddie, I really don’t want to talk about Mom’s sex life with Phoenix. And I know all about Phoenix’s broken leg. I’ve been helping.”

  “Well, I feel bad, since it’s kind of the kids’ fault. And I didn’t answer when Mom called.” Maddie had gone to the movies and turned off her ringer.

  “It’s not the kids’ fault. I hope you didn’t tell them that.” Lexa capped the mascara and searched in her makeup bag for her lip gloss. “She was chasing them up the stairs and slipped.”

  “Well, I still feel responsible because they’re my kids. Mom doesn’t know what to do. She doesn’t want to leave Phoenix alone. But she doesn’t want to let you down either. She knows how hard it is for you to go back to Taiwan after all these years.”

  “Are you turning into a softie? And you actually care about how Phoenix is doing?” Lexa couldn’t resist teasing Maddie.

  “Maybe.”

  “I’m glad you’re giving Phoenix a chance.”

  “Well, we’ll see. But it looks like she’s a part of Mom’s life now, so I guess I’m going to have to try to get along with her.”

  “How very mature of you.” Lexa smiled. “She’s growing on me too.” She found her lip gloss and leaned toward the mirror to apply it. “Anyways, what did you want to tell me?”

  “Well . . .” Maddie paused for dramatic measure. “I told Mom I’d go to Taiwan with you instead of her.”

  “You?” Lexa’s voice squeaked in surprise.

  “Yes, me. Why do you sound so shocked?”

  “Aren’t you trying to work things out with Mike? You told me he was against getting divorced, that he wanted to go to therapy.”

  “Yes, but I don’t want to go to therapy. I need a break from him. I can’t think when he’s always hovering over me, asking me what I’m feeling. He must have read a self-help book about how to fix a marriage. I don’t want to discuss how I’m feeling. All I want is to be left alone.”

  “Oh, Maddie.”

  “Anyways, I had a long talk with him last night. We both agreed we need a break. It would be good for us if I went to Taiwan with you. It’d give me some space, and I would help you and make sure someone is on your side.”

  “But I’m leaving this week. And you hate Hsu-Ling.”

  “She’s not my favorite person. But I want to be there to keep an eye on her mother.”

  “You’d do that for me?”

  “Of course.” Maddie’s voice softened. “You’re my sister.”

  “Oh wow. You really are going soft.”

  “Yeah, yeah. Whatever.” But there was a smile in Maddie’s voice. “I’ll call the airline and take care of the name change.”

  “You know I’m going to San Francisco first to see Jake for two days, right? Mom was going to meet me in San Francisco so that we could be on the same flight to Taiwan.”

  “I know, she told me. So, no future potential with Jake, huh?”

  “No. But I like him.”

  “Uh-huh.” Maddie drew out the words. “So looks like you’re stuck with me for Taiwan.”

  “Thank you. I mean it, Maddie.” She paused, filled with a warm glow at the fact that her sister was being so supportive. Then she glanced at the time. “Listen, I have to go. I want to call Hsu-Ling and tell her you’re coming with me.”

  “I bet she’ll be so happy.”

  “Yea
h, I bet.” Lexa smirked as they said good-bye, and then she dialed Hsu-Ling.

  Her sister picked up right away, almost as if she’d been waiting for Lexa’s call. Lexa told her about Phoenix’s fall and that Maddie would be coming with her instead.

  “Oh, joy.” The sarcasm dripped off Hsu-Ling’s voice.

  Lexa laughed. “Don’t sound too happy.”

  “I’m sorry. I think it’s nice of her to come with you.” Hsu-Ling cleared her throat. “I was actually about to call you. I just talked to the lawyer. I made an appointment for the day you get in to meet in his office for you to sign the paperwork. Then you’ll get access to the bank account where Pong put your money and also take possession of the apartment he left you.”

  “This is real, isn’t it?” Lexa pursed her lips together and then blew out a breath. “Pong really left me money and an apartment, and I’m going back to Taiwan.” Lexa checked her reflection in the mirror one last time and then stood up. “Well, I’ll be there soon. I can’t wait to see you again.”

  “Me too, jie jie. Me too.”

  42

  You’re here!”

  “I am.” Lexa stood at Jake’s front door, not quite believing she was in San Francisco, on her way to Taiwan. She’d said good-bye to Zeus hours earlier when her dad had come to pick him up. Greg had hugged her hard and said, “Good luck in Taiwan. I’m so proud of you.”

  Lexa and Jake grinned at each other for a moment without speaking. Then Jake pulled her close, and she threw her arms around his neck. Her eyes closed when he buried his face in her hair, and just for a moment, she forgot her nervousness over her trip.

  When his mouth finally settled over hers, every inch of Lexa’s body remembered his touch, and she gave herself over to his kiss. She’d missed him and his kisses so much, and the way his touch awakened her body.

  He pulled away first. “Welcome to my home.” He grabbed her suitcase, and she followed him inside. He lived on the first floor of an Edwardian condo, and Lexa couldn’t believe how big it was, compared to what she was used to in New York City. He left her luggage in the living room and gave her a tour.