Hell Becomes Her (The Midlife Goddess, #3)

by Tee, Marian

  I found her.

  Even though the Gorgon's voice was cold and hard, her grief was palpable, like an invisible cloak you could almost imagine brushing against as you came near, a cloak that made the Gorgon's shoulders, normally straight and proud, seem to fall wearily under its painful, terrible weight.

  Sssusssan was standing next to a round table covered with black cloth, and behind it was the priestess, her lifeless body on the ground. She was clutching a piece of paper in her hand, the letters in it written in blood, and they spelled...lotus.

  Chapter Ten

  Shit just got real.

  I used to work as a makeup artist, and one of my favorite clients had a habit of saying those words every time we heard the TV in her dressing room show a particularly jarring news report.

  Shit just got real.

  She always said those words lightly, but also with eyes that were too sad to match the tone of her voice.

  Shit just got real.

  I found myself thinking of it over and over as I watched several skeletal subjects carefully prepare the priestess' body for transport.

  I had looked everywhere for her ghost earlier since that was how it usually worked. A person's murdered, a new ghost is born, and I learn about the killer straight from the victim's mouth. But now, there wasn't even the faintest orb hovering over the woman's corpse.

  The priestess, despite the abrupt end of her life, had already moved on, and I had to find her killer on my own, hadn't a moment to waste because—-

  Shit just got real.

  When this whole quest started, a part of me hadn't really been taking it seriously. After hearing what Hadrian and Mira had to say, I kinda thought we were all overreacting, and that there was no way for that vial to be opened without Cerberus knowing, no way for that vial to get smuggled out of the realm, with the Lord of the Underworld himself supervising the borders.

  But I was wrong.

  And someone else had paid the price.

  When I should've been taking this threat seriously, I had been talking my head off about menopause, and now the priestess was dead.

  An innocent woman was dead.

  Because of me.

  And if I didn't get my shit together, my stupidity would just keep getting more people killed. Maybe Mira was right and—-

  It is done.

  The sound of the Gorgon's voice slithering into my ear pulled me out of my thoughts, and I realized with a start that the others were gone, along with the priestess' body. It was just the two of us now—-

  You are being too hard on yourself.

  Gorgons didn't read minds. I knew that much at least, and so I also knew that I must look as shitty as I felt, for Sssusssan to actually feel compelled to comfort me.

  "This is all my fault," I told her flatly. "I had just this job. One job. And now someone's dead because I didn't take it seriously enough."

  You did not kill her. The thief did.

  "I wish we could just let Little Iron—-"

  We can do many other things, but not that. We must be sssmart about this.

  And of course she was right.

  No matter how much I wished I could be the one hunting the thief down—-

  Shit just got real.

  And as LOTUS, it was my duty and responsibility to step back and let others take over. It was just how things worked now, and that was fine. But the moment we found whoever it was that was responsible for this, so help me God, I was going to—-

  You are ssshaking.

  "With anger, not fear. Our thief is a murderer now, and I know this isn't nice, but I want to murder that person right back—-"

  Good.

  I almost smiled at this.

  You are queen of this realm, and a queen cannot always be nice.

  "I hear you." I didn't want to, but I understood now, more than ever, what Sssusssan meant.

  A LONG WALK AWAITED us outside the fortune teller's hut. It was the only mode of transportation allowed in the Underworld apparently, but I was too busy feeling guilty to care. Maybe someday I'd ask Hadrian about it, but right now I just wanted to find my thief-turned-murderer and change my title from LOTUS to Goddess of I'm-Going-to-Make-You-Pay.

  Since we didn't want Hadrian's subjects to panic, we now had to go around town to get to Cheiron, an older-than-old centaur who - if rumors were to be believed - taught the god of medicine a thing or two about the healing arts. Rumors also had it that the centaur, instead of retiring in the Isle of the Blessed eons ago, had opted to live the rest of eternity in the Underworld.

  'Less boring than Heaven' had been his exact words, and well...to each his own, I supposed.

  Silence made for a third companion as the Gorgon and I followed behind the skeletal crew carrying the priestess' body. We had just crossed a rope bridge over rainbow-colored waters, and normally this would be enough to have me talking about Instagrammable moments. Now, however I just wanted to keep wallowing in my guilt.

  It seemed so long ago when the Gorgon and I had started out, even though it had just been hours. I had learned so much since then, and while what I now knew had made me fall in love even more with Hadrian's realm—-

  I couldn't quite say the same about myself.

  It was great that Hadrian's subjects found me relatable and approachable, but that wasn't enough. It shouldn't be. They deserved a LOTUS who was dependable, too, and I needed to work on becoming that, a.s.a.p.

  "Who do you think it could be?" I couldn't help asking Sssusssan. "I know now that our thief's also a cold-blooded killer, but I can't even say I understand his or her motives."

  Sssuch truths do not reveal itself right away.

  "I guess." I thought about the other kind of truth then. The things that we could deduce right here and now, and I heard myself ask, "How did the thief get into Hadrian's manor in the first place?"

  That is your boyfriend's mistake.

  I frowned, feeling both offended and defensive. "Hey now—-"

  Hades believes his sssubjects would know better than to challenge him. He fails to understand there will always be idiots who do not know better.

  "So are you saying anyone can just come and go inside the manor?"

  That is what I sssaid. Ssstupid.

  SINCE THE ONLY CENTAURS I knew were from Hercules and Harry Potter, meeting one in real life was an understandable shock, especially since I now realized how both series had glossed over certain parts.

  In real life, however...

  Boy oh boy.

  It was just hard finding somewhere else to look except those parts, and at first I hadn't even known how to react, the moment I realized eye level for me was nut level for centaurs.

  "I am sorry to meet you under such circumstances, milady."

  The gruff sympathy of Cheiron's tone was the exact thing I needed to hear. I forgot all about the awkwardness of having a pair of hairy, horsey balls swinging in front of me and instead I found myself swallowing past a sudden lump in my throat before I could speak. "I'm sorry, too. But also...thankful, that you've come to our aid."

  The skeletons had by now finished unwrapping the white sheet that covered the priestess' body and bowed in our direction before leaving. A cranking sound followed, and I turned to see Cheiron working on a rotating lever that had the dissection table slowly extending upwards until the body was comfortably within the centaur's reach.

  "Were you the first one to discover her body?"

  The centaur was sniffing over the priestess' body as he spoke, and I tried to keep an open mind about this.

  "Not exactly. But I was in the room when Sssusssan found it—-"

  "You speak of the Gorgon."

  "You know her then?"

  "We all know of her, milady," he answered dryly, "and I would be careful about trusting the Gorgon."

  Hadrian used to say that, too, I couldn't help thinking.

  "Especially since..."

  I shook my head, deciding enough was enough. "I appreciate your concern," I said
politely, "but my boyfriend trusts her—-"

  The centaur's head lifted sharply. "He does, does he?"

  "Well, he might not have said the exact words, but—-"

  "Then he didn't say it," Cheiron dismissed.

  "All I'm saying is that I'd rather keep an open mind about Sssusssan—-"

  "Even if I tell you that the killer's scent is on the priestess' body..."

  Shit. I hated this. Really hated it when I already knew what someone had to say—-

  "And it smells distinctly like a Gorgon to me."

  —-and it was not what I wanted to hear.

  Shit, I thought again.

  "Where is the Gorgon now, milady?"

  "She said she had something to do first," I said reluctantly.

  "And does that not speak of guilt?" Cheiron demanded. "You must not trust her—-"

  "If you tell me that the scent you detected works like DNA—-"

  The centaur let out a neigh of annoyance. "If you're asking if this scent is something I can directly and accurately attribute to Sssusssan alone and not any other Gorgon—-"

  "I'm asking exactly that."

  "Then no." The centaur's tone was grudging. "But..." Cheiron frowned disapprovingly at how visibly relieved I was. "It does not rule her out as the murderer either. Remember that, milady. You must not trust too easily, or you might pay for it with your life."

  Chapter Eleven

  Zeus is starting to stir. Hadrian's text message arrived at my inbox as I stepped out of Cheiron's front door, and the words made me momentarily squeeze my eyes shut.

  Murders to solve, I was almost used to.

  But having the fate of the world potentially resting on my shoulders as I raced against time while hunting down a thief?

  It was a whole new stomach ache, and already I could feel the Big M rearing up its ugly she-devil horns.

  Sssshit.

  I mean, shit.

  A ball of unease had started to form in the pit of my belly, and if allowed to keep growing, I knew it could soon explode into a full-fledged panic attack.

  It could, but it would not.

  Because I'm not going to let that happen, I convinced myself.

  I opened my eyes and started walking.

  Queens did not have panic attacks, and so I mustn't have them either.

  Mustn't.

  But by the time I spied the Gorgon waiting for me at our meeting place, I was way past panic attacks and just a scream away from having a total mental breakdown.

  What happened?

  I took a deep breath, knowing I had to be careful about my next words. It was one thing to defend Sssussan against Cheiron's accusations, but it was another thing to act like there wasn't the slightest possibility she hadn't killed the priestess, and she was just tagging along for the ride the way the most deranged killers couldn't ever seem to help spending time with their next victim.

  So pick your words with care, I cautioned myself.

  Just sssay what it is on your mind—-

  "Cheiron says the priestess' killer is a Gorgon, and you're a Gorgon, so I want to know if you're her killer, too?"

  The words had all tumbled out before my brain cells could catch up with my tongue, and now I just wanted to kill myself. Come on, menopause. Seriously? If I die, you'd die, too!

  Sssusssan had yet to hiss out a word in reply, and I didn't know whether this was good or bad. But since the truth was already out in the open, I might as well dig myself a grave with it.

  And so up went my chin as I met her sunglass-covered gaze and asked, "Are you?"

  Of course not.

  I wanted to believe her, and at one point in time, I might have even taken her words at face value and move on to the next suspect on my list. But things were different now. I was LOTUS, and the Underworld didn't deserve a queen who was too nice...or too stupid.

  "If you wanted me dead," I heard myself say, "you could've killed me from the start."

  That is true.

  "But if you had turned me into stone or have one of your snakes bite me, Hadrian would've known who to blame..."

  That is also true.

  How calm she sounded. So darn calm that I knew I'd feel insulted, if she did turn out to be the killer. That was the big question here...and there was only one way I could think of to answer it.

  My gaze stayed on Sssusssan as I pulled the partridge out of my pocket, and I could feel her start to frown as Little Iron shook its head as if waking itself.

  What are you planning?

  The Gorgon's voice had sharpened noticeably.

  Answer me!

  I glanced down at Little Iron. Small but terrible. That was my iron partridge in a nutshell, and I could only imagine what it was capable of doing...

  Sssusssan hissed in shock.

  Because it was my turn now to grab her hand without warning, and just before she could pull away, I had already done it. With the help of one viciously sharp nail, I had torn my palm open—-

  You fool!

  Little Iron was already eagerly drinking my blood.

  The last thing I saw was the Gorgon reaching for me.

  The last thing I heard was the pounding of centaur hooves.

  And then...nothing.

  "OUCH. OUCH. Ouch." Just like the first time I fainted, I woke up feeling miserable and ashamed. But unlike that time, I also woke up in pain, with someone dragging me by the hair over the hot, hard ground of the Underworld.

  Shit.

  I tried to reach up to free myself, but the moment I did, vines seemed to crawl out of nowhere, and I found myself restrained in an instant, ankles strapped together, and wrists bound behind my back.

  "You're finally awake."

  Mira.

  I'd have to break my neck and do an Exorcist-360 just to be sure, but the queasiness in my stomach told me I couldn't be mistaken.

  Hadrian's cousin had taken me captive.

  I opened my mouth to scream...but ended up choking as more of Mira's vines crawled up and gagged me into silence.

  I felt us stop, with Mira peering over me and her lips forming a smile the moment she saw my face.

  "You look so stupid right now," she said with relish.

  The words reminded me of Sssusssan, and the thought of the Gorgon being Mira's accomplice was more upsetting than Mira being as evil as she had always seemed.

  "Hadrian must've truly lost his mind," Mira muttered as she straightened, "to let a goddess like Persephone go and crown a piece of trash—-"

  I tried snarling against my gag, but Hadrian's cousin didn't even seem to notice, lost as she was in a rage of imagined injustices.

  "Persephone warned me about you. That it was very suspicious, how you always seemed to survive even the worst predicaments, like a dirty little rat."

  I couldn't help tensing at the way Mira kept mentioning Hadrian's ex, and I was forced to pay the price as the veins around my wrists and ankles tightened.

  "Deus ex machina," my boyfriend's cousin suddenly spat at me, and I nearly rolled my eyes. For eff's sake. There was that phrase again! Persephone recently filed a case against me in the Olympian High Court, and the goddess had used those exact words to question my right to the throne.

  "I didn't believe in such a thing," Mira was saying. "But then yesterday..."

  I stared up at her incredulously. We just met yesterday!

  "I almost got away!" The other woman's voice shook with rage. "I could've gotten away. I should've gotten away with it if not for you!"

  All of a sudden, I remembered the look on Mira's face when we bumped into her in the In Between.

  Shock.

  Because she had not expected to run into us.

  Fear.

  Because she wasn't where she was supposed to be.

  Frustration.

  Because like she said, she had been so close, so close to getting away—-

  And then nothing.

  Because Mira was just like how she described me: a dirty little rat who
would do everything to survive. And at that moment she had realized her only hope...

  Was to make us think she was running towards us, I realized numbly, instead of running away.

  "And I could've gotten away with it..." We were on the move again, Mira still dragging me by the hair, and the abrasive ground scratching and scraping against my skin.

  "If not for you and your cursed deus ex machina..."

  Mira gave my hair a hard, sharp yank, and all I could do was wince against the burning pain in my scalp. You'd think being a goddess would make me immune to pain, but nope. The deification process was the basic equivalent of being able to eat whatever you wanted without dying...but it wouldn't save you from gaining weight.

  "And then there's your blood."

  Mira was muttering and laughing at the same time, and my heart sank.

  "Your blood..."

  And now Mira was repeating herself, which made my heart sink even lower. That made things official then: girl's lost it, totally.

  "I made it all up," Mira said feverishly. "Your blood wasn't supposed to be anything, but instead...we couldn't believe it was your blood of all things that would change the game!"

  Did Mira just say we? Didn't that mean she had an accomplice, and who else could it be...

  "Once we realized what kind of power we had in our hands, we started planning..."

  And that plan, I realized all too late, was my quest.

  I was indeed as stupid as Mira and Sssusssan liked to call me, just a fool a thousand times over, when I thought of how blind I had been.

  So stupidly blind.

  I wouldn't be surprised if Mira or her accomplice was the one behind all the unfavorable news the Underworld Times published about me, wouldn't be surprised at all if they had been banking on how "desperate" and "predictable" I was when they sprang their trap open-—

  And I had fallen for it.

  Hook. Line. Sinker.

  Practically threw myself in it, actually.

  A classic case of jumping out of the frying pan and straight into the fire, like the worst LOTUS ever.