Hell Becomes Her (The Midlife Goddess, #3)

by Tee, Marian

"It was supposed to be a rather long and merry chase..." Mira was talking again, and it almost hurt hearing her speak, with every word a stinging reminder of my stupidity.

  "We wanted you to feel like the next great detective..."

  And it did make me feel that way, dammit.

  "I even had Susan kill that priestess to make things more exciting..."

  I was drowning in despair when I realized what she was saying.

  "But then that stupid Gorgon..."

  And I found myself start to shake.

  The vines, sensing my rising anger, wrapped itself around my entire body.

  "That wasn't part of the plan at all..."

  I could barely hear a word Mira was saying, could only see the priestess' lifeless body on the ground—-

  "And then you completely ruined it!"

  My ribs started to hurt as the vines continued squeezing the life out of me.

  "That partridge was designed to follow one clue at a time, but you—-"

  I knew I should be afraid, knew that there might still be more human than goddess in me that I could still get myself killed.

  "You just had to have that stupid piece of metal gorging on your blood!"

  I knew the risks, but I no longer cared.

  I just wanted her to pay.

  The words were all I needed to think of, the vines falling limply into the ground as I turned myself into a ghost—-

  Mira's scream pierced the air just as I floated up.

  Freed entirely from my restrains, I could feel my rage rising inside of me as I spun around to face Mira.

  All I could think of was making her pay—-

  But I was too late.

  Thoughts of vengeance faded as I watched Mira crumple into a heap like a punctured baloon.

  Too late.

  Because Little Iron had sliced her throat open.

  Just kept slicing and slicing, slicing so fast that her immortal skin couldn't keep up—-

  Slice. Slice. Slice.

  Just an endless cycle of slicing.

  Slice. Slice. Slice.

  And an equally endless flow of blood.

  Mira was still bleeding and choking by the time the cavalry arrived, with Hadrian instantly drawing me into his arms. I was stiff at first, terrified of how he would react once he realized—-

  "Saoirse..." He was already cupping my chin, and I could feel myself start to shake as he forced me to meet his gaze.

  A part of me expected to see anger and accusation—-

  But instead what I saw nearly made me cry in relief. "You know, don't you? About Mira."

  "I had my suspicions she was up to something from the start," he said tightly, "but I still misjudged her. I hadn't seen her capable of planning your death." A muscle started ticking in his jaw. "I'm just sorry you had to go through this alone—-"

  "I wasn't." And almost on cue, Little Iron came flapping its wings before perching on my shoulder.

  "Your pet?" At my wary nod, Hadrian's lips softened briefly with a smile. "I can already tell he and Cerberus will get on famously."

  His words gave me hope, and I allowed myself a tentative smile. "So I can keep him then?"

  "I don't see why not."

  "I was worried you'd think it's inappropriate," I confessed, "since Little Iron's the one..."

  Wait a minute.

  If Little Iron was now with me, then who was making sure...

  My gaze flew up to Hadrian in panic. "Mira—-"

  "Will not trouble anyone again." The Lord of the Underworld's voice was mild again. Too, too mild, and a spurt of fear made my heart skip a beat as I followed Hadrian's gaze.

  Hadrian's men stood on guard next to Mira's body, which was still on the ground. Although she had stopped bleeding, and her throat appeared fully healed, there was still no chance for her to escape.

  A portion of the ground had turned itself into packed soil, and it was now moving over Mira's body. At the rate the soil was moving, Mira could be completely buried in an hour, and the reason for this was...her.

  She was staring down at Mira's body, arms on her sides, but with her fingers moving and fluttering against her dress. At first it seemed like nothing, but when I looked closer, I realized that the flutter of her fingers matched the pattern in which the packed soil was moving over Mira's body.

  Although she had her back to me, something about her was familiar—-

  The dress!

  That was the Gorgon's dress. That was Sssusssan. Or at least I thought it was her until the woman started to turn, and I saw that she wasn't wearing any sunglasses—-

  Oh my God!

  I crossed my arms over my eyes like a vampire avoiding direct sunlight.

  But nothing happened, and all I heard was Hadrian's chuckle.

  Huh?

  I slowly peeked between my fingers.

  What the—-

  My arms dropped limply to my sides, and I found myself gaping.

  I had never seen this woman before.

  Never.

  And yet that dress...I couldn't be mistaken about that dress.

  And her smirk...it looked so familiar.

  And her eyes...

  I looked up at Hadrian, and my heart sank.

  Oh no.

  "You have the same eyes," I said dumbly, and my unease grew when said eyes gleamed with amusement. Oh no. That could only mean one thing, and I looked at him in dismay. "Another cousin?"

  "No, my love." And now Hadrian was smirking, too. "I think she's what you called...my grandmother?"

  Chapter Twelve

  There was once a fake Gorgon, a god, a LOTUS, and a centaur with a bump on his head...

  It made a rather nice start for a joke, didn't it?

  And maybe one day, I'd find something funny to smile and laugh about that moment.

  One day.

  But not for a while.

  Because even though weeks had passed, I was still grieving the priestess' death. Her name was Maya. I knew that now, and I would never forget it. I mustn't, if I was serious about being the LOTUS the Underworld deserved.

  As for Mira and her evil plans...

  MIRA HAD BEEN A YOUNG and impressionable sixteen-year-old girl when Persephone first came into the Underworld. She had taken to the goddess right away, and Hadrian's ex, delighted at having such a devoted fan, molded the girl in her likeness. Thus, the girl had become just as cold and cruel, and most terrible of all, Mira was as zealously convinced as Persephone that the pantheon must reclaim dominion over the human realm.

  Hadrian and Persephone's divorce made the crazy loyal Mira determined to avenge her mentor, and I told the others of how Hadrian's cousin was no different from other evil masterminds, with their inability to shut up in their moments of perceived victory.

  While dragging me around the woods like a human toy wagon, Mira had spoken of an "it" that she intended to get away with, on the day Hadrian and I inadvertently foiled her plans for escape.

  A thorough investigation had eventually revealed Mira using a spell at the In Between to smuggle out a box, but whatever it contained, and who it was given to...time would only tell.

  As with any immortal found guilty of crime, a transfer to an undisclosed relation in Tartarus was arranged for Mira, and it was while a female warden was performing a standard body check that we found the missing SR-41 vial...tucked between the scoops of Mira's heavily-padded bra.

  I wish I could say I was kidding.

  But I'm not.

  Mira had used one of the oldest tricks in the book and played all of us for fools. And while stupidity, just like misery, often loved company, I'd rather have been the only idiot in the room in this case. Because if it were just me, then maybe Maya might still be alive.

  If only.

  It was just one of the mistakes that I'd have to live with for eternity, and the fact that SR-41 did turn out to be an effective cloaking agent was poor consolation. Cheiron had tested it in his own lab and confirmed Mira's results. But since an an
tidote had already cured Zeus of his madness, we had collectively decided it was best that none of us remembered there was a way to make ourselves invisible to Zeus' thunderbolts. For this, we then drank a special concoction that had several drops of water from Lethe, the river of forgetfulness, and come tomorrow we wouldn't even know SR-41 had ever existed.

  As for how one of the vials was "stolen" in the first place, the whole thing was a sham. The only reason an Echo's spell had worked to unlock her lab was because she had been the one to perform it herself.

  It was something I had puzzled over at that time, how someone as clever and meticulous as Mira wouldn't have noticed a strange floral scent in her lab. But because I had the Big M, I had convinced myself that all of my first instincts were best forgotten or ignored.

  Anyway, after having the vial "stolen", Mira had then used her knowledge of my "predictable" and "desperate" nature to concoct an elaborate tale of theft and redemption, all to buy herself some time to figure out a way to escape the Underworld with SR-41.

  She had been like a parent preparing a scavenger hunt for her kid, only her clues involved sending Sssusssan off to visit a long list of people...and then getting the Gorgon to retrace her steps and killing everyone along the way.

  So no, Maya was not their only victim. Four other people had died just to make things "fun" for me, and it was while Mira and her snake-haired henchwoman were talking that Gaea, having returned from a walk, accidentally found herself eavesdropping on the tail end of their conversation.

  While she hadn't heard enough to know anything about Mira's plans, what she did know was that I was in danger, and so she had waited until Mira was gone before making her move.

  She killed the real Sssusssan by burying her underground and then "dressed" herself (those were her exact words, FYI) in the Gorgon's flesh.

  Since the earth goddess wasn't the type to risk underestimating her enemies, she had decided to stay in character while keeping me company in my quest. And when we reached town and I started acting rather suspicious, Gaea had decided to let me walk away and see what I'd do next.

  I thought you were being threatened, the earth goddess explained, and you wanted to get away to meet your blackmailer.

  So when she saw me enter a strange, dark house, Gaea had gone charging in, thinking I needed rescue, but instead she ended up exposing herself to Hadrian, who - in their quick exchange of Greek - had agreed to keep the secret of her identity.

  Big mistake, that one, I always liked to remind Gaea and Hadrian, but only because I wanted to help them keep their feet on the ground.

  Hadrian had believed I might accidentally slip up around Mira if I knew about Gaea disguising herself as the Gorgon, and the earth goddess had agreed.

  Obviously, they thought wrong, and I had ended up throwing caution in the wind.

  When I asked Gaea about the thing she had to do that kept her from accompanying me to Cheiron's house, she told me it was because she believed she had seen Mira lurking around outside the fortune teller's hut. So she had gone back to town, hoping Mira would take the bait and talk to her.

  It was a good plan, especially since she was right, and Mira, in her monologue of evil, had admitted to being in town and watching from afar.

  A good plan, like I said.

  But because Gaea had decided to keep me out of the loop, I had started making my own plans as well.

  The way I saw it at that time, since the amount of blood Little Iron consumed seemed to determine the speed in which the partridge discovered clues, I figured I could fast-track the whole process, have him jump from Point B to Point-Exactly-Where-We-Can-Find-Our-Thief by giving Little Iron as much blood as I could.

  And what do you know?

  My pet actually drank a freaking liter!

  A liter!

  I'd be dead if I were still human, but since I was a goddess, Little Iron only made me anemic and unconscious.

  In the meantime, Cheiron had actually been following my trail since I left home. I was determined to protect you from the Gorgon, the centaur had admitted rather dryly, but instead I became another victim.

  As Little Iron flew off like a bird on steroids, Gaea had been torn: if she left, something bad might happen to me, but if she didn't leave and follow Little Iron, something bad might happen to the entire world.

  To this day, the earth goddess maintained that she had no idea what she'd have done if she were forced to make a choice, but...yeah right. We all knew she was lying. She'd totally choose saving the world or even choose saving a cockroach over me, just to ruin my day.

  So anyway, it was a rather good thing Cheiron was there, and knowing that the centaur was the honorable sort, Gaea had dashed off without a word of explanation. She believed him capable of keeping me safe while I was unconscious, and the centaur did manage to do that...for about five seconds.

  Cheiron had been about to lift me onto his back when Mira had struck his head with a spell, and it was a blow mighty enough to knock him out cold.

  You know what happened after that, but what we'll never know was what Mira exactly planned to do with me or the SR-41.

  All the secrets Mira kept, everything that we hoped to persuade her into revealing—-

  All of it was gone.

  Permanently.

  Irrecovably.

  Because last night, Mira had drowned herself in the waters of Lethe, and as with all objects and creatures that drowned in the river of forgetfulness...

  There was no way to rescue her...lest you wanted to risk forgetting yourself as well.

  Chapter Thirteen

  My days of Big M were over. It had been so since last week, and Hadrian and I had been celebrating it the way I had always dreamed of.

  A moan escaped me as Hadrian thrust inside of me.

  He made me feel so, so full.

  And good.

  Just so impossibly good.

  And now...just like it always had been...

  Another moan slipped past my lips as Hadrian pulled almost all the way out—-

  Perfect.

  My husband of two days thrust back inside of me just as I started to cum.

  Perfect.

  I threw my arms around his neck.

  Perfect.

  His hips moved furiously, his thrusts becoming wilder and more savage, and then he, too, was cumming with a growl.

  Perfect.

  Our bodies rocked and slammed against each other on the cold, tiled floor, our orgasm lasting so long that by the time his load was completely spent, I was deliciously limp with exhaustion, and all I could do was gaze up at him...

  With or without menopause, my thoughts about Hadrian still hadn't changed.

  My husband was so, so hot, and I was so unbelievably lucky—-

  I saw his lips twitch, and I was immediately entranced...and distracted.

  "You're looking at me that way again," he murmured knowingly.

  "Do you have a problem with it?" I asked coyly.

  "Not as long as you're always ready to face the consequence..." He lifted me up into his arms as he rose to his feet, and I absently cast a glance at our surroundings. This was the en-suite of Guest Bedroom #11 on the third floor, and with this, we had officially made love in every room (en-suites counted separately, natch) in the south wing of Hadrian's manor.

  Hadrian helped me put my nightgown back on but didn't bother dressing himself.

  Huh.

  Instead, he took my hand and led me to the balcony.

  As always, the skies were a blazing shade of orange, and under it were the mesmerizing rainbow swirls of the Underworld's secret river. It was crazy, how peaceful and serene I felt, even though Hadrian and I lived in a place that was otherwise known as Hell.

  His arms wrapped around me from behind, and I found myself trapped between the balcony's waist-high walls and the powerful hardness of my husband's form.

  "Hermes sent an invitation..."

  "Nuh-uh." I couldn't help but giggle. "That's not how
you pronounce it."

  "Nuh-uh," Hadrian retorted mockingly in the same tone. "That's exactly how to pronounce it—-"

  "No, it's not—-"

  "When you're talking about a certain Greek god."

  "Err...oops?"

  Hades laughed.

  "Please don't ever tell Gaea—-"

  Too late.

  I looked down, and there Gaea was, "half-dressed" in Gorgon flesh, which basically meant she still looked like herself - her original self - except for the fact that she also had snakes for hair and eyes that she had to cover with sunglasses.

  "Good morning, Granny."

  The earth goddess' smile turned into a scowl.

  I am not your granny!

  She was seated rather elegantly on a couch, her slender limbs made more slender by the gauzy wisps of her empress-styled gown. Around her were a couple of skeletal subjects: one stood next to a tray of champagne, another looked after a tray of fruits, while a third was busy sketching her portrait.

  Have you told her yet?

  Gaea's imperious tone made me curious. She only sounded like that when she felt rather embarrassed. Cute, right? But I'd never ever tell her that, natch.

  "What's Granny talking about?" I asked Hadrian.

  Oh, for the love of myself!

  I couldn't help laughing. The correct expression was actually 'for the love of Gaea', but since she was Gaea...

  "You are sooooo vain, Granny!"

  Better vain than sssstupid—-

  "Well, better stupid than—-" Hadrian coughed, and since it wasn't like him to stop us from having our usual fun, I stopped speaking and looked at him in askance.

  "Before you start your usual word war," Hadrian murmured, "I think you should know that Gaea has kindly agreed to attend your coronation as the new Lady of the Underworld."

  I waited for the punchline.

  "No, my love. It's not a joke."

  "But you said Gaea hasn't attended a public gathering in millennia."

  "I did."

  "There's a catch, right?"

  "No."

  I turned myself into a ghost so I could float down to where the earth goddess was. "You don't really have to, you know. I mean, I never expected to—-"

  Gaea's tongue snapped out, but it only went through my ghostly form.