Smile Like You Mean It (Charlotte Reynolds Book 1)

by Willow Hadley

  I gasp in delight and quickly get out. Grayson laughs at my enthusiasm. He knows me so well! We walk into the mall together, still holding hands. It’s ridiculously busy. I see plenty of moms dragging their kids around for last-minute school shopping, screaming toddlers, and a lot of teenagers. Even though I feel nervous, Grayson keeps me distracted enough by pointing out stores I might like and listing off all the restaurants they have in the food court.

  We walk around for about an hour, browsing different stores without buying anything. Grayson and I talk constantly about anything and everything. It’s different hanging out with him without the other guys around. He doesn’t tease me nearly as much, and it’s overwhelming having his attention solely on me instead of having it split between the rest of our friends. It’s not a bad feeling at all, and I’m so glad we got to do this before school starts on Monday.

  We reach one end of the mall where the music store is located, and Grayson gets more animated and excited. He’s introduced me to so many new bands and artists since I’ve known him, and I always love hearing him talk about music. The shop isn’t busy at all. There are only a couple of other people looking around when we walk in. Grayson and I peruse through their selection of CDs and vinyl albums for a little while until we end up in a separate section of the store where they keep instruments.

  Grayson makes a beeline for the back wall where a bunch of guitars are hanging up, and he moves to grab one. I look over my shoulder in a panic, expecting for someone who works here to come in and yell at us.

  “Are you allowed to touch those?” I hiss at Grayson anxiously.

  He chuckles and shakes his head at me in amusement. “Chill out, Princess. You’re allowed to try them out before buying them as long as you’re careful. I’ve never gotten in trouble before.”

  He’s holding a dark brown acoustic guitar, and he sits on a stool that’s set up a few feet away from the wall. He strums it quietly and spends a few minutes tuning it, and then he looks up at me with a wild grin on his face as he begins to play Placeholder by The Story So Far. I recognize the song immediately, but I’m completely floored when he starts singing the lyrics too.

  I glance over my shoulder again without thinking about it, nervous we’re going to get kicked out of here for being too loud. I know I’m probably being silly, since Grayson doesn’t seem worried. He stops playing, and I whip my head back around to raise my eyebrows at him.

  “I swear the dude who owns the store is totally fine with us playing around. And I know you love this song. Sing with me.” His smile is warm and inviting, and he’s using that deep voice I love so much.

  I shake my head at his suggestion, and I can already feel myself blushing. “Oh my god, no! I can’t sing. I just want to listen to you.”

  Grayson stands up and walks over until he’s standing in front of me, and he gently grabs my hand while holding the guitar in the other. His springtime eyes bore into mine, and he looks so sweet and understanding that I am absolutely melting.

  “It’s just me and you, Princess. Nobody else is listening. At least sit with me for a little while? I promise if you’re too bored after a couple of songs, we can leave.”

  I don’t want him to think I’m bored. That’s definitely not the case at all! He and the other guys always do stuff I like when they’re not interested, and I know I could happily watch Grayson play guitar for hours.

  I squeeze his hand and smile up at him. “I don’t want to leave. I’m just being a paranoid spaz. I’m sorry.”

  He laughs and pulls another stool closer to the one he was using. “Don’t be sorry.”

  We sit down, and Grayson starts playing the same song as before. I force myself to relax and watch him. I’ve only seen him play a couple of times before, and he was really just messing around while we were hanging out with the other guys. This is the first time I’ve really been able to watch him with no other distractions. He’s really amazing, and my stomach flutters when I realize how special it is for him to share this part of himself with me.

  When Grayson starts singing again, I meet his eyes instead of staring at his hands. His singing voice is deep and he sounds good, but it’s obvious he’s way more skilled at playing guitar. He’s smiling at me so confidently while he plays, and I feel ridiculously happy.

  For one insane second, I feel brave enough to sing along with him. Grayson is right, after all. There’s no one listening to us right now. Grayson’s eyes light up when I start singing, even though I’m really quiet and hesitant. But his gaze is so sweet and encouraging, I’m totally belting out the lyrics like he is by the time the song ends.

  “Holy shit, dude!” Grayson laughs and leans closer to me, and I’m not sure I’ve ever seen him look happier than he does now. “That was fucking awesome! Your voice is incredible.”

  I shake my head and make a face, giggling. “Ew, no.”

  He doesn’t argue with me. His eyes roam all over my face before he meets my eyes. His mouth is turned up in a half smile that has my heart beating like crazy, and he slowly lifts his hand to brush his thumb over my cheek. I lean against his hand when he cups my face, and we spend a few long seconds staring at each other. The moment between us is so charged and romantic, and for a second, I can barely breathe.

  I like him so much, and moments like this make me sure he likes me too. But I feel like that with all the guys. Elliot is the only one I’ve even come close to admitting my attraction and feelings to, and he agreed that it was more important for us to be friends. The five of them are the absolute best friends in the universe, and I never want to do anything to jeopardize that. Besides, there’s clearly something wrong with me if I can feel like this about five different guys at the same time. It’s not normal.

  I break eye contact first and let out a short breath. I look down at the floor, trying to gather my thoughts. I have to keep reminding myself that as long as I don’t act on my stupid feelings, there’s no problem.

  I’m afraid Grayson might look hurt or upset that I pulled away and ended our moment like that. But when I look up at him, he smiles at me like everything is totally normal and drops his hand down to the guitar.

  “Do you know this song?” He plays the first notes of Flashlight by The Front Bottoms.

  I giggle and sing along without hesitating this time. I completely lose track of time while Grayson plays song after song. He makes sure to only play songs I know the words to. I jokingly ask him to play a couple of Disney songs at one point, to which he laughs and teases me relentlessly. He promises to learn a couple just for me though, which is incredibly sweet.

  We’re finishing up yet another song, singing together completely in sync while Grayson plays the guitar expertly. We smile at each other as we sing the final notes, and then it’s quiet...until applause suddenly breaks out from the other side of the room.

  My heart drops into my stomach and I turn around in horror. I see two guys standing a few feet away from us with huge smiles on their faces. I make sure my face is blank even though I’m totally humiliated and freaking out. I was having so much fun with Grayson that I forgot to feel self-conscious for a little while. Nobody has bothered us since we got here, and I didn’t notice them walk in here.

  Grayson lowers the guitar and reaches out to place his hand on my arm. It’s a sweet gesture, and it does make me feel a little better, but I still feel so nervous and embarrassed while I keep my eyes on the newcomers.

  “Grayson, dude!” One of the guys walks closer to us, shaking his head while he continues smiling. “I didn’t know you played guitar. That was sick!” He’s close to our age and he looks familiar. He has light brown hair that’s dyed green at the ends, and a few different piercings.

  The other guy has walked over too, and he hasn’t taken his eyes off of me. He’s taller than his friend, but nowhere near as tall as Grayson. He has brown eyes and dark brown hair tucked under a beanie, and he’s wearing shorts and a band tee shirt. He’s definitely cute, but I’m way too flustered from
being caught singing that I barely pay any mind to that fleeting thought. I turn to watch Grayson and the familiar-looking boy instead.

  “Thanks.” Grayson chuckles. “I’ve been playing for a few years.”

  The green haired boy smiles even wider and turns his gaze to me. “Hey! It’s Charlotte, right? You might not remember, but we met earlier this summer. I’m Benji.”

  “Oh, yeah!” I give him a small smile. His hair has grown out and he’s not wearing his uniform, but I do remember meeting him. “From the ice cream shop, right?”

  Benji’s friend speaks, still staring down at me intently. “I’m Alex. Your voice is fucking amazing. Did you just move here?”

  I clamp my mouth shut and stare at him like an idiot. I know he’s complimenting me, but I still feel so stupid and self-conscious that anyone besides Grayson heard me. I completely lose all of my words and begin panicking. If I don’t say anything, he and his friend are going to realize how much of a freak I am.

  Grayson places his hand on my lower back, instantly calming me. “Yeah, she lives next door to me. What are you guys up to?”

  “Just hanging out. We came in to see if they got any new albums in when we heard you guys playing.” Alex looks away from me and smiles at Grayson. “You’re really good, dude. I never would have guessed we were into the same music.”

  I’m still keeping my face blank and guarded for now, but I’m confused by his remark. Glancing back and forth between Grayson and Alex, it’s obvious they have the same style. I get that they’re not really friends, and probably only see each other in school, but it doesn’t seem odd to me that they would like the same type of music.

  Benji nods in agreement. “Seriously. We’ve been talking about starting a band, but we don’t know anyone that’s even slightly decent at playing guitar.”

  “Really?” Grayson smiles and raises his eyebrows, clearly interested.

  My stomach chooses that moment to growl very loudly and obnoxiously. I’m completely freaking mortified, and I can feel my cheeks flaming while the three boys stare at me wide-eyed. After a few seconds, they start giggling. I turn towards Grayson, silently pleading with him to rescue me again.

  Grayson smirks at me and chuckles. “You hungry, Princess?”

  Ugh, he’s teasing me instead. I narrow my eyes at him, but he only laughs again before stepping aside to put the acoustic guitar up on the wall. He comes back and throws his arm over my shoulders as he smiles at Benji and Alex. “I guess we’re gonna go to the food court.”

  Benji smiles adorably and asks me, “Do you mind if we chill with you guys for a while?”

  Even though I’ve totally embarrassed myself, they seem really nice. And I can tell Grayson wants to talk about music with them some more, so I smile back and nod. “Sure, of course!”

  As we’re walking out of the store together, Grayson leans down and whispers, “You’re adorable, you know that?”

  I snort and glare up at him as I lean against his side. “God, shut up!”

  “It’s true.” He smirks. Grayson’s back to his usual teasing, flirty self. I wonder if it’s only because we’re with other people, but I don’t really mind it.

  While we make our way to the food court, Grayson talks with Alex and Benji about bands they like. They’re being really cute and animated, and I can’t help smiling to myself even though I’m staying quiet. Music is something Grayson is so passionate about. While the other guys and I are definitely supportive of Grayson’s interest in music, it’s not something we really get. It’s the same with my love of reading, so I know it must be nice for Grayson to talk to people who understand his passion better than we can.

  I learn that Alex plays piano and keyboard, and he sings as well. He’s trying to learn guitar, but he’s not very good yet. Benji plays the drums, and Alex’s cousin Emily—the girl who worked at the ice cream shop with Benji—can play bass. They seem really interested in playing with Grayson, and I think he’s definitely considering it.

  I’m finishing up the last of my food from Panda Express when my phone buzzes with a bunch of incoming messages. Grayson pulls his phone out at the same time I do, and it becomes clear that it’s a group message from the other guys.

  Sebastian: Arthur said everyone can sleep over here tonight since it’s the last night of summer.

  Elliot: sweet. I’m just leaving practice now.

  Liam: I’ll be over soon.

  Remy: someone needs to come pick me up.

  Grayson types out a message and tilts his phone toward me so I can read it before he hits send. I smile and nod in excitement. Tonight is going to be so much fun!

  Grayson: Charlotte and I will pick you up in like an hour, Remy.

  His text is followed almost immediately by another one from Sebastian.

  Sebastian: wtf I didn’t know you and Charlotte were hanging out!?

  Grayson snorts quietly in amusement and chooses not to answer him. Instead, he tugs on the end of my hair with that sexy half-smile on his face and asks, “Is an hour gonna be long enough for you to get through Barnes and Noble?”

  “Yes.” I giggle and roll my eyes. It’s sweet that he’s still offering to go in there with me, knowing how I get around books.

  “Aww, you guys have to leave soon?” Benji frowns.

  Grayson nods apologetically. “Yeah, sorry, dude. We should exchange numbers. I’d seriously love to play with you guys sometime.”

  Alex and Benji agree wholeheartedly and exchange numbers with Grayson. Alex keeps peering at me out of the corner of his eye, and I try to ignore it. He probably thinks I’m just weird since I barely talked around them. But I’m so happy we ran into them today. It would be so cool if Grayson was in a band!

  Remy

  I shove my phone into my pocket and shake my head in exasperation. Sebastian’s such an idiot sometimes. Doesn’t he realize that it pisses Charlotte off when he gets all jealous and possessive like that? I mean, I admit I’m a little irritated. Grayson could have mentioned he was hanging out with Charlotte today. Sebastian completely flipped shit when Elliot did the same thing over a month ago, going behind our backs to hang out with her like that.

  “Hey, Grandma?” I call out as I walk into the living room. The apartment is small enough that she’ll probably be able to hear me no matter which room she’s in. I smile when I see her sitting in the living room, working on her latest embroidery project. “Is it cool if I sleep over at Sebastian’s tonight?”

  She raises her eyebrows at me and purses her lips in disapproval. She doesn’t have to say anything. I know what she’s thinking by her expression alone. I can feel heat rising to my cheeks and I cross my arms defensively. “The other guys are sleeping over too. Not just me.”

  “Is Charlotte going to be included in this sleepover?”

  I throw my hands up. “Probably? I mean, she does live there and she’s our friend. Arthur will be there too, and you know how he is. He won’t even let any of us go into her room.”

  She sighs and sets her embroidery hoop down. “At least he’s not completely oblivious.”

  “Come on, please.” I push my glasses up on my nose and force myself not to glare at her. “It’s the last night we all have to hang out like this before school starts. Besides, it’s not even like that with Charlotte. We’re just friends.”

  “Just friends, huh? Is that why you’ve been drawing and painting her portrait obsessively all summer? And why you’ve refused to invite her over to introduce us?”

  I stare at my grandmother defiantly before I shrug like it’s not a big deal. “Charlotte and Grayson are coming over in a little while to pick me up. You can meet her then.”

  “Well!” She blinks at me and grins maniacally. I watch her suspiciously as she stands up and makes her way into the kitchen. “That’s perfect. I’ll make some tea and cookies for them, and I’ll let you know my decision after meeting her.”

  I grimace and move in front of her to place my hand on the fridge before she can o
pen it. “Please don’t. You don’t need to test her or give us a lecture or anything. She doesn’t know how I feel, and nothing’s ever going to happen. This is completely pointless.”

  “Remy.” She frowns and places her hand on my cheek. Her determined, mischievous expression has been replaced with one full of sympathy. “Sweetheart, you know I’m only worried about you. It’s been clear to me since you met her that this is far more than a simple crush. And yes, while I am concerned about you potentially making me a great-grandma before I’m even fifty, I’m also curious to finally meet this girl.”

  My grandma got pregnant with my mother when she was only fifteen, and she dropped out of school to work two jobs when my biological grandfather skipped out. My mom ended up following in her footsteps by getting knocked up with me in high school. It was one of the things my dad was always so pissed about, that my mom had me instead of getting an abortion, ruining their lives with her decision.

  Before I start feeling nauseous, like I always do when I think about him, I shake my head at my grandma and clear my throat. “God, please promise—if nothing else—that you will not ask Charlotte if she’s on the pill or some shit. I’ll never forgive you if you embarrass me in front of her like that.”

  She taps her nails against the fridge door and sighs. “I suppose I can always ask Arthur. He might not have thought about it.”

  Well, there’s really no way to stop her from doing that. I hope that Arthur doesn’t end up giving Charlotte and Sebastian another awkward talk because of me. I step away from the fridge in defeat, watching hopelessly as my grandma pulls ingredients out to bake her stupid cookies. The worst part is that Charlotte will definitely appreciate the gesture, not realizing my grandma’s ulterior motives.

  “You’ll like her.” I sigh quietly. When my grandma turns around to raise her eyebrows at me, I shrug. “She’s sweet and funny, and she—she really gets me.”