Beautiful Corruption (The Corruption Series Book 2)

by Jessica Manson

  A kiss from him, I long to taste.

  Suddenly, my dreams come true,

  My heart would no longer cry blue.

  He was everything I dreamt of and more,

  He made me happy, made my heart soar.

  One day I became his secret,

  Only I never knew it.

  His betrayal came in the form of violence,

  Embarrassed, I kept my silence.

  He is out roaming free,

  While the demon is locked inside of me.

  I treat myself to therapy with a knife,

  It’s the only release I get from my strife.

  He damaged my spirit, he has broken me,

  I’ll never be free of the demon inside of me.

  Tristan sat in silence as tears ran down my face. Odin looked heartbroken. He knew the story of my rape. He understood the pain in that poem.

  No one spoke for a few minutes, but when they did it was Tristan that broke the silence. “Lilith, what happened to you?”

  I looked at Odin. I didn’t want Tristan to feel sorry for me. “Nothing. It was about a friend,” I lied.

  “Then why are you crying?”

  “She was a really close friend.”

  “I think we should call it a night,” Odin said. I was thankful for the change in conversation. “If you don’t mind Lilith, I would like to help you get Ava and Elijah ready for bed.”

  “It’s past midnight, I’m not going to bathe them tonight.”

  “That’s okay. I’d still like to help.”

  “Okay.” I grabbed Ava while Odin grabbed Elijah. We headed up to Tristan’s room. We changed their diapers and clothes then fed them both. Once they were asleep, we laid them in their cribs.

  Before Odin left, he pulled me in for a hug and whispered in my ear, “The only demon you need to save yourself from is you.” He pulled away from me and rubbed the fresh cut on my arm. He looked at me with disappointment in his eyes before he turned and left the room.

  We got up early so we could welcome Tuls and Fate. I was exhausted after staying up so late last night. Cinzia made breakfast and had it ready for us lined along the wall in the dining room in warmers. She made eggs in four different ways, scrambled, over easy, over medium and poached. There was bacon, sausage and ham. Pancakes also came in four different ways, blueberry, raspberry, chocolate chip and regular. There were biscuits and toast. There were also cinnamon buns.

  When I smelled the cinnamon buns, memories came flooding back. It brought me back to that morning in Maine when Odin brought over cinnamon buns for breakfast. It was the day he told me he wanted to be with me. I couldn’t help but smile at the memory as I placed one on my plate. “What’s got you smiling this morning?” Tristan asked.

  “Nothing. Cinnamon buns just bring back memories.” I glanced at Odin. He had his head down filling his plate, but he was smiling. I knew the same memory came back to him as well.

  “Want to share your memory?”

  “Na. Just a breakfast I had with my aunt.” I needed to change the subject, “Odin what time does Tuls and Fate arrive?”

  “Sometime after ten.” I looked at my watch. It was eight forty-five.

  “Hey Lilith after breakfast how about a game of Mortal Combat? I practiced while you were in a coma. I think I can actually whoop that ass now,” Cal said.

  “You’re on. But you know you will never beat me.”

  “I don’t know about that baby girl. I’ve improved my skills.”

  “We’ll see.”

  “I got winner,” Brant said.

  “Unfortunately for you Brant, that’s going to be me.”

  “One of these days someone is going to beat you at that game,” Odin said.

  I looked at him with one eyebrow raised, “Is that a challenge?”

  He leaned in closer to me, “Bring it.”

  “You’re going down.” I haven’t played against Odin before. I was secretly hoping I wouldn’t be eating my words later.

  After everyone ate, we all gathered in the living room. Odin and I took our spots in the floor in front of the TV. I was ready to kick his ass. Tristan, Bristol and Parker were rooting for me while everyone else rooted for Odin. We started the game with full focus and intent on beating each other.

  When Odin won the first four rounds, I became nervous. “Damn, looks like you have met your match Lilith. Odin’s kicking that ass,” Cal said playfully.

  “Games not over yet,” Tristan said in my defense.

  We were on our last match and the game was tied. Everyone sat in silence waiting with anticipation to see who the winner would be. Odin didn’t hold back either. He used as many special moves as he could. Last five seconds of the round I made Kitana do her signature move, off the top. Odin’s character fell to the ground with his throat sliced. “In your face,” I said as I jumped up and did a little dance. “Undefeated. Ain’t nobody got game like me,” I sang as I danced around Odin rubbing his losing in his face. Everyone laughed.

  “She got game and some sexy moves,” Cal said.

  “Yeah. She does, doesn’t she?” Odin said.

  “Who’s next?” I asked. Cal took the controller from Odin. The guys spent the next hour trying to beat me at the game but none of them could. We didn’t stop playing until a knock sounded at the front door.

  Odin got up to answer it and came back in the room with Tuls and a man I had never seen before. I assumed it was Fate. When Bristol noticed him her eyes immediately filled with tears. She ran to him and their embrace was filled with so much love it made tears burn at the rims of my eyes. You could feel how much they belonged in each other’s arms. Their embrace and kissing made you feel like you shouldn’t be watching, but it was impossible to look away.

  With my focus on Bristol I hadn’t noticed that Parker and Tuls had connected as well. They stood off to the side hugging each other. Their embrace didn’t feel as intimate as Bristol and Fate’s, but you could still tell they missed each other.

  “Come on, I want you to meet Lilith,” Bristol said to Fate as she walked him over to me. As they made their way to me all of the guys stopped Fate welcoming him home with handshakes and hugs. When they reached me, Bristol introduced us, “Lilith, Fate. Fate, Lilith.”

  “It’s nice to meet you,” I said holding out my hand.

  He took my hand as he said, “Nice to meet you.”

  When our hands locked, his words faded into the background. Suddenly, I could see Fate talking to someone that had their back turned away from him.

  “Tell me, how important is your wife to you?” the man asked Fate causing me to recognize his voice. Draven.

  “What do you want me to do?”

  “I’m sending you on a new mission. My son will call for you to come home while I am away. I want you to accept his offer.”

  “How do you know he will call for me.”

  “I have someone working for me on the inside. They are watching their every move. I knew I couldn’t trust my son to keep his wife locked up. He loves her too much. He is a fool.”

  “That’s all I have to do is accept his offer?”

  “No. I want you to make nice with them, especially Lilith. She needs to trust you which shouldn’t be too hard. She is even a bigger fool than my son. She trusts too easy and believes every word out of anyone’s mouth. Once you have her trust, I want you to kill her.”

  “I can’t kill her.”

  “You can, and you will. You want to save your precious wife, don’t you? Your wife has betrayed the coven and has yet to face her punishment. I will pardon her if you kill Lilith. Otherwise your wife dies. Your choice.”

  Fate hung his head, “Fine. I’ll do it.”

  Finally, my hand slipped from Fate’s. Tears filled my eyes as I backed away from him. I tripped and fell. Odin and Tristan both rushed to my side, “Baby what happened? Are you alright?” Tristan said.

  “Your eyes were complete
ly black. We couldn’t get Fate’s hand free from you. What happened Lilith?” Odin said almost cutting Tristan off.

  “I need some air.”

  “Go invisible. I’ll take you outside,” Odin said.

  Once we were outside Odin walked me over to a patio area where we both took a seat on the swing. “Do you want to tell me what happened?” he asked.

  I was afraid someone would see him talking to himself or hear my voice, so I spoke to him with my mind. “Use your mind to talk to me.”

  “Okay. What happened Lilith? Your eyes went completely black. You just stood there staring blankly for at least ten minutes”

  “I had a vision when I touched Fate’s hand.”

  “Do you want to tell me about it?”

  “Yes and no.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because if I tell you what I saw you will overreact.”

  “Was it bad?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then why aren’t you overreacting?”

  “Because I understand why he is doing it. Love makes us all do stupid things.”

  “Tell me about the vision.”

  “Only if you promise to keep your cool. We have to be smart about this. There is a traitor in the house besides Ambi. Someone is telling your father our every move.”

  “So, he knows.”

  “He knows everything,” I said cutting him off.

  “Okay. So, what happened?”

  “Fate was sent here by your father to kill me.”

  “That son of a bitch.”

  “Calm down and let me finish. Your father told him you would call for him and that he needed to accept. He told him if he didn’t kill me, he would kill Bristol. He didn’t want to, he argued with your father, but it was no use. Fate would do anything to save Bristol and Draven would do anything and use anyone to see me dead.”

  “Do you know who the traitors are?”

  “I think so.”

  “Who?”

  “Daveh and Razi. They work for your father. They fed us their story about needing to go back to Land of Lore, so we would feel sorry for them. They needed our trust, so we would tell them our plans. It has to be them. I’ve read everyone else’s minds. They are all on our side.”

  “How do we address Fate trying to kill you?”

  “We need to talk to him. He needs to act like he is still going to kill me. At least until we can figure out what to do about Daveh and Razi.”

  “Okay.”

  “Can I ask you something?” Seeing Parker and Tuls together made a few questions run through my mind.

  “Of course.”

  “When I was having to choose between you and Parker, I had feelings for you and felt a strong attraction to Parker. How come I don’t feel that way about him anymore if he was truly supposed to be my mate?”

  “Because attraction was what it was. You were attracted to him based on your human feelings. Mates most of the times can’t even stand each other let alone be attracted to one another. Take Bristol and Fate for instance. She didn’t love him at first. She had to learn to love him.”

  “I loved you the moment I saw you.”

  “One look at you lamia mea and I was head over heels. Our attraction came from our souls. We weren’t chosen for each other, but I knew instantly we were destined to be together. Even though my father lied to put us together it was still meant to be.”

  “So why have the Sacrament if no one wants to do it?”

  “I’ve told you this before. It’s because there are so few women born in the coven.”

  “Yeah, yeah I know. Ten to one.”

  “You have a good memory,” He said through laughter. The look on his face changed instantly. It went from happy to downright sad.

  “Odin what’s wrong?”

  “Just thinking back to the way things used to be between us. Before we moved here, and things got complicated with us.”

  “Things have always been complicated with us.”

  “Yeah, I know, but I was thinking about how much we used to love each other. The times we spent together.”

  “Odin…”

  “I really want to kiss you Lilith.”

  “Fight it Odin. What happened last night can never happen again. I am with Tristan and I will not betray him like that.”

  “Even though you really want to be with me instead of him?”

  “Yes Odin. Even then.”

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Once we were back in the house, I locked myself in the library. I sat on the floor behind my desk pulled out the razor and cut across my skin. I hated myself for what I was doing to Tristan and Odin. How could I allow myself to become this person? How could I hurt them both like this?

  I watched the blood trickle down my arm while I waited patiently for my relief to come. But it never did. I cut myself again and again. Each new cut came with a new rage that was building inside of me. A rage directed at myself. A rage that wouldn’t pour out with the blood no matter how many times I cut myself.

  As I peered down at my bloody mangled arm tears streamed down my face. Between the pain in my heart and the anger in my body I felt like my mind was going crazy. It hurts when you have someone in your soul but can’t have them in your arms. It kills me to realize that I can’t be friends with someone I am madly in love with.

  Odin and I need distance. But there is no way I can distance myself until Draven is dead. Being around him, I’m afraid of what will happen between now and then. I’m afraid I will hurt Tristan. I’m afraid that I will end up giving into my feelings for Odin. But what scares me the most, is a life without Odin.

  Tristan walked into the library and I tried to cover my bloody arm. “What the hell happened? Lilith you’re bleeding,” he yelled as he ran over to me. It wasn’t long and everyone in the house was standing in front of me.

  “What happened?” Latham asked.

  “Is she okay?” Gunner asked next.

  I felt exposed and embarrassed with everyone standing there staring at me. The tears started to fall harder. “Everyone out. Now,” Odin said coming to my rescue. “Tristan go get a wet towel.” When everyone was out of the room, he turned on me. “What the fuck Lilith? Why do you keep doing this to yourself?”

  “Odin, I can’t handle what’s going on inside of me. I hate myself for what I’m doing to you. To Tristan. I can’t do this anymore.”

  “So, then what’s the plan? Kill yourself instead of facing what you really want?” His anger was laced with fear causing my heart to break even more.

  “No.”

  “Then killing yourself is better than breaking one fucking heart?”

  “No. Odin…”

  He cut me off. “Then what is it Lilith? Why do you keep doing this? What do you think a world with you not in it would be like? It’s not a world I want to be in. I can’t lose you again. I won’t. Do you hear me? Do you fucking hear me lamia mea?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then don’t do this again. Promise me.”

  “Odin I…”

  “Don’t give me fucking excuses Lilith. Promise me.”

  “I promise”

  He pulled me into him and wrapped his arms around me. He whispered in my ear, “Please don’t ever do that again. I can’t live in a world you’re not in. I can’t lose you.”

  “I promise I won’t do it again.”

  “You promise you won’t do what again?” Tristan asked watching us from the doorway.

  “Tristan, I have something I need to tell you.” He brought over the towel, Odin took it and started cleaning up my arm.

  “What do you have to tell me?”

  I didn’t hesitate. I came right out and said it. “I’m a cutter.”

  “What do you mean you’re a cutter.”

  “I self-harm in the form of cutting. I cut myself when I’m stressed, angry, frustrated. When I feel emotions, I don’t know how to deal with, I cut m
yself.”

  “Why?”

  “It’s a form of therapy for me.”

  “How long have you been doing this?”

  “A long time.”

  “So, that’s where all of your scares came from?”

  “Yes.”

  “And you knew about this?” he asked Odin.

  “Yes.”

  “For how long?”

  “I knew before we started dating.”

  “Why haven’t you stopped her?”

  “I tried.”

  “Obviously not hard enough.”

  “Lilith is a grown woman. It doesn’t matter how many times I beg her to stop if she wants to cut, she is going to.”

  “Tristan I…” Tristan cut me off and started yelling at me.

  “No Lilith. What you are doing is stupid. It’s selfish. Do you not realize you have two little people depending on you? Do you not care that you have people that love you?”

  “Of course, I…” He cut me off again and continued yelling louder this time.

  “What would happen if you cut yourself in the wrong place? What would have happened if I hadn’t walked in on you today? Tell me Lilith, what would happen if I walked in here and found you dead?”

  Tears streamed down my face and the guilt was killing me. I already felt like a horrible person he didn’t need to make me feel worse. That’s why I came in here to cut in the first place. “Tristan I’m sorry but…”

  “I don’t want to hear it,” he said as he turned and walked out of the room.

  “Maybe I should go talk to him for you,” Odin offered.

  “No. Give him some time to cool down. I’ll talk to him in a little bit.”

  “Can I say something?”

  “No.”

  “Well I’m going to anyways. You know he wasn’t wrong. I mean he was wrong for yelling at you like that, but not for what he said.”

  “You think I don’t know that? It’s not like I can just stop. You don’t understand. None of you do.”

  “Don’t understand what?”

  “Why I do it. Why I cut.”

  “Tell me.”

  “Just leave me alone.”

  “I don’t think that is a good idea.”

  “Odin please.”