Finding Me (The Music Within Book 3)

by Faith Gibson

  “I’d really like that, but don’t wait too long. I don’t want the new boss getting pissed at you for putting him off.”

  “From what Erik said, Malcolm is just a down-to-earth guy who needs help running cattle. Do you know anything about working on a farm?”

  “Can’t say that I do.” Andy had grown up in the south, but his family’s money was in oil. “All I know about cows is they taste really good on a grill.”

  Bryan flashed his beautiful, slightly crooked smile, and said, “Yeah, that’s about the extent of my knowledge, too. I thought about researching the subject at the library. I don’t want to look like a complete idiot when I get there.”

  “I should probably do the same. I haven’t studied anything in quite a while. It wouldn’t hurt my stagnant brain to read something besides sports magazines.”

  “Do you like baseball? I happen to have two tickets to the Sounds game, and I have no one to go with me.”

  Andy was practically bouncing. “Are you kidding me? I fucking love baseball. When’s the game?”

  “Tomorrow night. If you want, I can pick you up so we both don’t have to pay for parking,” Bryan offered.

  “Careful, or I might think you’re asking me out on a date. That ass wiggle got to you, didn’t it?” Andy teased.

  Bryan blushed but took Andy’s joking in stride. “Yeah, fool, I’m all about your pasty, white ass. I’ll pick you up at five and we can grab supper, or would you rather get a hotdog at the park?”

  “Hot dogs! Gotta have ‘em when you go to a game. If you want to grab a beer first, you can still come around at five.”

  “Beer sounds good. I guess we need to exchange phone numbers, since I don’t know where you live.”

  Andy grinned. “Yeah, that might help.”

  After swapping information, Bryan said, “I guess I’ll be going. It’s been great meeting you, and I’m looking forward to getting to know you. I really hope you get the job, Andy.”

  “Me too. I think we’d make a good team.” Andy meant it in more ways than one. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  Bryan held his hand out, and Andy shook it. “Tomorrow.”

  Chapter Two

  Bryan

  Three days after the ball game, Bryan parked in front of Andy’s apartment building. He had thoroughly enjoyed spending time with the blond. Andy was loud and constantly cracking jokes, where Bryan was quiet and reserved. Andy was gay, and Bryan was straight. Andy liked country music and had a beautiful voice. Bryan preferred loud rock music and couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket. Their backgrounds were completely opposite, but somehow they meshed together better than anyone Bryan had ever been around in his life. He found himself looking forward to living and working with Andy.

  He climbed the steps leading to Andy’s second floor apartment, and when he knocked, Andy yelled from inside for him to come on in. Bryan turned the knob and entered the small living room. A boxer brief-clad Andy met Bryan just as he closed the front door.

  “Sorry, man. I’m almost ready.” Andy turned his back, and Bryan couldn’t help but stare at the broad, muscled back of his friend. It wasn’t just all that skin grabbing his attention; several scars marred the otherwise pristine flesh. Strangely, Bryan wanted to reach out and touch the shiny marks.

  “No, it’s okay. I’m early.” Bryan looked away just as Andy looked over his shoulder, grinning.

  “Couldn’t wait to get over here, could you?” Andy asked, wiggling his ass as he pulled his T-shirt over his head. Now Bryan’s eyes were drawn to Andy’s bubble butt. Why couldn’t the man have gotten dressed in his bedroom?

  Not being able to control himself, Bryan slapped Andy on the ass as he walked past him to get to the kitchen. When Andy yelped, Bryan laughed. “You know it. That pale skin of yours has turned me to the other team.” Bryan averted his eyes, again, wondering why the hell he’d been ogling a man’s ass in the first place. Because you need to get laid, that’s why. It had been far too long since Bryan had been with a woman. He was a rare breed when it came to fucking. He wasn’t the kind of man to hook up with a woman just to have sex. It was why he’d only been with a handful of women in his twenty-six years. Even in high school, when his hormones had taken over both heads, he had been too busy working and helping his mother raise his siblings to spend time fucking around. When he had taken the time, he hadn’t found it fulfilling, thus thinking sex wasn’t special unless it was with the one.

  Bryan helped himself to a cup of coffee. He’d only known Andy a few days, but it didn’t take Bryan long to figure out the man was a diva when it came to getting dressed. His clothes had to be ironed, and his short hair had to be styled perfectly. Bryan ran a towel over his own short hair and called it done. Not Andy. He had more styling products than a hair salon. When they went to watch the ball game, Bryan had been wearing a ball cap. He asked Andy if he had one, and the look on the blond’s face had been priceless.

  “And mess up all my hard work?” he’d admonished. Bryan rolled his eyes and settled in for the thirty minute wait.

  Since they were moving into Malcolm’s house that was already furnished, everything they were taking with them would fit into the bed of Bryan’s truck. “Where’s your shit? I’ll go ahead and start loading the truck.” Bryan wasn’t one to sit around and do nothing. For the last six months, he’d worked out more than he had in his entire life just to have something to do. He was in better shape now than he’d been in the Marines. Andy must have been just as bored, because his body was as solid as Bryan’s. Bryan knew that because Andy loved walking around in his underwear, giving Bryan ample opportunity to study the tattoos on his chest and arms.

  “All the boxes in my bedroom are ready to go, but you don’t have to carry them all. It’s my stuff.”

  “I don’t mind. Besides, if I wait on you to primp, we’ll be here all damn day, and I’m ready to get on the road.” Bryan started down the hallway to the bedroom, but Andy stepped out of the bathroom, hands on his hips.

  “I don’t primp.”

  “Do so. Now move, Lily, so I can get your shit.” Bryan had adopted the nickname for Andy when he kept talking about being a stripper. He tousled a hand through Andy’s gelled spikes, knowing it would only cause them to be delayed longer.

  “You ass. I had it just right. Now I have to redo it.” Andy retreated into the small bathroom and proceeded to start the process all over, singing random songs. Bryan smiled to himself. He loved ruffling Andy’s feathers. By the time his buddy was out of the bathroom, Bryan had all the boxes loaded and had finished another cup of coffee.

  “How do I look?” Andy wasn’t digging for a compliment. He was truly concerned with his appearance. Years in the military and having to look a certain way were ingrained in them both, but where Andy couldn’t let go of the need for perfection, Bryan had tossed that shit out the door as soon as he was back stateside.

  “Like a wet dream. Now can we go?” Bryan loved yanking Andy’s chain. He really shouldn’t kid around in such a flirtatious way. One day, Andy was going to take him seriously, and then what would he do? Run for the nearest set of tits he could find? Maybe.

  Andy looked around the small apartment, and Bryan waited patiently. He’d already said goodbye to his own home. Bryan had only lived there for six months, but it had been his, and he was going to miss the solitude. Bryan had bunked with others during his last eight years, but that had been a requirement. Now, it was his choice to share a house with two other men. One he didn’t know at all and one he was only getting to know. The little time he’d spent with Andy he had enjoyed and already considered him a friend. He hoped Malcolm was as laid back as he’d been described. If things got too hectic, there were over a thousand acres he could roam around on to be alone.

  “Are we doing the right thing?” Andy asked, pacing around the living room as he bit his bottom lip. When Andy’s movements became more frantic, Bryan stepped in front of him, stopping his progress.

  With his hands on An
dy’s upper arms, he assured him, “Yes. We need a job, and this one is perfect for both of us. At least on paper it is. If we get there and you don’t like it, you can always look for something else. This isn’t permanent if you don’t want it to be.”

  Andy chewing his lip drew Bryan’s attention to his teeth. It was something Andy did when he was nervous, which was often. Every time it happened, Bryan caught himself staring at Andy’s teeth as they cut into the pink flesh of his lip. Bryan felt Andy’s insecurities within himself. You give your life to your country for eight years, and when you return home, you expect to be able to assimilate back into society fairly easily, even though you’ve heard the stories of other Marines who are having a hard time doing so. You just never expect it to happen to you. Bryan squeezed Andy’s thick biceps. “Hey, look at me.” When Andy met his eyes, Bryan continued, “You’ve got this, Buddy. I’m right there with you every step of the way. If you don’t like it, we’ll fix it. Okay?”

  Andy nodded and let out his breath. His minty coffee breath. Bryan inhaled, drawing the scent in. He released the grip he had on Andy, not understanding his sudden infatuation with his friend’s breath. “Okay, let’s get a move on. I want to get there before lunch time.”

  Andy left his key on the end table and locked the door behind him. They had discussed moving over beer before the ball game, and since they would be spending all their time on the farm, Bryan offered the use of his truck if Andy needed to go anywhere. Agreeing, Andy sold his car to a neighbor for a few hundred bucks. Now they loaded up into Bryan’s truck and headed north to a little town in Kentucky. When Erik mentioned where the job was, Bryan had been concerned for Andy. Arlo, Kentucky, was the epitome of small town, redneck living. Erik explained that Malcolm was gay, but he stayed away from the locals. They didn’t care that it was the twenty-first century. They were still as homophobic as they were racist. Bryan wasn’t worried about himself. He’d lived with name calling and hatred his whole life. His father was a mixture of Nigerian and Italian, and his mother had been a blonde with blue eyes. Bryan was an odd scramble of all the above. He had started and ended many fist fights over harsh words, but his mother was the one who showed him words didn’t matter.

  Bryan had also gone to bat for his youngest brother, Brett. When Brett came out as gay, Bryan had punched more than one homophobe’s face for their nasty words. Brett eventually grew into his large frame and was now bigger than Bryan. His little brother could more than take care of himself. Bryan wouldn’t hesitate to have Andy’s and Malcolm’s back should anyone have something nasty to say to either of them.

  Traffic was light, and Andy filled the hour-long drive with his rendition of country music. The radio was playing, but his beautiful voice carried over whoever was singing on the radio. Bryan hated country music, but somehow when Andy sang it, it wasn’t so bad.

  When they arrived at their new home, Bryan breathed a sigh of relief as he pulled into the driveway. He had called ahead and told their new boss what time to expect them. A handsome man who appeared to be around his and Andy’s age was waiting by the gate on a four-wheeler. He waved at them as he got off the ATV, opened the gate, and motioned them on through. Bryan drove down the driveway and parked beside an old farmhouse that had seen better days. He put the truck in park and turned off the ignition. Looking over at Andy, he asked, “You ready?”

  “Yeah. Now that we’re here, I feel better.” Andy gave him a smile, but it didn’t meet his eyes. If Malcolm hadn’t been waiting for them, Bryan would have tried to offer Andy some reassurances, but he honestly didn’t know if this was going to work out for either one of them. They were both here on a trial basis, but knowing they would be together every day somehow made Bryan feel better. He was quickly becoming comfortable around Andy.

  They angled out of the truck as their new boss was shutting off the ATV. “Hey there. I’m Malcolm Wilson, and this is my home. Please, call me Mal. I sure do appreciate y’all comin’ to help me out.” Malcolm held out his hand, and Bryan and Andy took turns shaking with the boss. Bryan already felt better about the situation with the easy way Mal welcomed them. “My ma’s in the house, so why don’t you come on in and meet her then we’ll get your stuff unpacked.”

  Bryan and Andy followed Mal to the back of the house. Two dogs were sitting by the small back porch, guarding the steps. Bryan had never had a dog in his life and had only been around a couple. He wasn’t sure how to approach them, but Andy dropped to his knees and allowed the animals to greet him properly. They sniffed him over before licking both sides of his face.

  “Moe, Curly, leave the poor man some skin,” Mal chastised. The dogs immediately stopped licking Andy, but their tails never stopped wagging. At that point, Bryan felt it was safe enough to at least pet them, so he held out his hand and let them sniff. He gave them both a rub on the head and ran his hands through their thick fur.

  “What kind of dogs are these?” Bryan asked.

  “Australian Cattle dogs. I had Larry as well, but he died. Now it’s just these two. Moe is the one with the black colorin’ over his left eye. Once they get to know you, they’ll protect you as fiercely as they would me. Stay,” Mal commanded, and the dogs sat back down on the ground. Mal led Bryan and Andy inside to a country kitchen, where an older woman was sitting at the table. “Ma, I’d like you to meet Andy and Bryan. This is my ma, Suzette.”

  Suzette stood from her place at the table and held out her hands. “It’s a pleasure to meet you both. I hope you don’t mind a little hard work. My Malcolm’s been busting his hump trying to keep this place up all by his self.”

  The first thing Bryan noticed was that Suzette was pretty. The second thing was she appeared to be blind. Bryan stepped into her space and took her hands in his. “I’m Bryan Moore, Mrs. Wilson.”

  “Please, call me Suzette. May I feel your face so I can see what you look like?”

  “Of course.” Bryan stood still while Suzette ran her fingers along his forehead, his cheeks, nose, and chin.

  “Thank you, Bryan. I can see outlines, but nothing’s really clear. Feeling helps me get a better picture.”

  “No problem, ma’am.” Bryan stepped out of the way, and Suzette repeated the process with Andy.

  “Boy, Malcolm. You’ve got yourself two very handsome helpers. First Cade, and now these two? I don’t know if my old ticker can take all these fine-looking fellas,” Suzette gushed. Bryan had no idea who Cade was. Maybe he was another worker.

  “Ma, behave. If you’re finished oglin’ the help, I’ll show ‘em to their rooms.”

  Suzette laughed and waved her hand, motioning for them to carry on. “Welcome to our home, Bryan and Andy.”

  “Thank you,” they said in unison. With Malcolm’s help, they had the truck unloaded and their things in their respective bedrooms in no time. Since the bedrooms were the same size, Bryan gave Andy the choice of which one he preferred. Andy chose the one across from the bathroom, so Bryan put his stuff in the one closest to the kitchen. Mal gave them time to put their clothes away before showing them around the house. There was a large living room with a fireplace. Suzette was sitting in a den with the television on. Her bedroom was down the hall past the den. Mal’s room was upstairs where another bathroom was. The house was much larger on the inside than it appeared from the outside. After they’d taken the short tour, Mal took them to show them around the farm.

  “We’ll start with the barn,” Mal said, once they were outside again. “I’ve already been workin’ on it some, but it needs a lot more work to get it back to proper. I have two horses bein’ delivered this week, and I’ll need your help gettin’ their stalls ready. Do either of you ride?”

  Bryan had never been on a horse. Actually, he’d never even seen one in person, so he shook his head no. Andy spoke up. “I rode a pony at a birthday party once.”

  Mal didn’t ask questions about either of their pasts. As it had been explained by the man who hired them, a Mr. Matheson, Mal was the foreman. The farm h
ad originally been in his family for many years but now belonged to a corporation that had purchased the land from the bank. They all technically worked for the company, but for all intents and purposes, the farm was still Mal’s, and he had the final say on everything.

  “This four wheeler here belongs to my boyfriend, Cade. I still feel weird callin’ him that. We’ve only been together a short while, and he lives in California. Anyway, you’ll eventually meet him. Feel free to ride either ATV when you’re out on the property if you don’t want to ride one of the horses after they get here. There’s lots to be done, like fixin’ up the barn and the house, but with the company buyin’ up the land around us, we’ll need help with the cattle. I know neither one of you have worked a farm before, but there’s not much to it, really. Let’s get in the truck, and I’ll show you the land.”

  Mal gave a short whistle, and Moe and Curly jumped into the bed of a new-looking Chevy dually. The three men got into the cab where a shotgun hung on a rack behind them, and Mal took off through an open gate. Andy was sitting in the middle, and since the three of them filled up the front seat, they were pretty much wedged in. It shouldn’t feel strange, but something about sitting so close to Andy had Bryan heating up.

  Mal pointed out the different parts of the farm where the cattle were grazing, explaining which ones were to be bred. He drove them by a pond, where he said they were welcome to fish on the weekends. He showed them the fence line and explained that part of their job was to make sure the fence was always in good repair.

  “Just a few months ago, coyotes got in and took out a few cows. Had to get Walt’s backhoe over here and bury ‘em. Speakin’ of Walt, you’ll meet him later. He’s been a good friend of the family for as long as I’ve been alive, and now he and my ma are seein’ each other. He’s a good man. If I’m not around, you can listen to whatever he says. Think of him as my assistant foreman.” If Walt didn’t have a problem with Mal being gay, then Andy should be okay, but Bryan had to wonder if he’d be looked at differently because of his skin tone. He would find out later when he met the older man.