Jag (Black Hawk MC Book 5)

by Carson Mackenzie

  “Oh my God, Dom, I think I saw her eyes twitching behind her eyelids,” River said, touched Poppy’s hair, then said, “Come on, sweet girl. Don’t you want to meet your daddy and grandpa?”

  River had no clue the effect she had on others. Or it was possible the effect she had on Amara men. I glanced across the bed at my dad and knew I wore the same expression on my face to River’s words.

  “Did you get ahold of Norman?” my dad asked.

  “Yeah, he said he would be here as soon as the graveside service is over for Simone.”

  One week had passed, and at times it was monotonous. I spent every spare second I had at Poppy’s side. When I wasn’t with Poppy, it was to either run to the hotel to shower or getting the things done for when I’d get to take her home.

  There were times I wanted to punch something, like when they came in and changed Poppy’s bandages. It was hard to watch, but for her, I’d do it. Her head was revealed, and I’d gotten my first look at the stitches and the bald spot where her head had been shaved. They removed the one on her arm and the sight of the skin bruised, and sporting road rash down the length of her arm had my hands clenching into fists. I only relaxed after the doctor said that her head and arm were healing nicely.

  Simone’s penance for high-end items paid off in the stroller she’d bought. The padding on the head guard kept Poppy’s head injury from being so much worse. Just as the padding on the side saved her arm from being broken. She’d only gotten the road rash they guessed by her arm falling out before the stroller had stopped skidding.

  I was over questioning. At that point, I was glad she survived, and nothing else mattered.

  One bright spot of the week was the photo album Norman brought in for me. It was filled with pictures of Poppy from birth to a few more current ones from last month.

  Norman had other news that day, too. The bastard that ran the red light was charged with Vehicular Manslaughter. He’d spend at least one year, possibly three in jail. He told the cops at the scene that the light had just turned yellow as he was going through it. The tape on the intersection showed him on his cell phone and the light turning red before he reached it.

  A little jail time was better than nothing to me. I’d only feel satisfied if he’d gotten the death penalty. Norman already started the paperwork to file a civil suit. Anything granted would go in a trust account for Poppy.

  From the time River saw the first twitch, five hours had gone with only three other instances.

  “I’m glad I didn’t miss her waking up and sad that she wasn’t awake when I walked in,” Norman said as he stepped closer to the bed. “When you called this morning and told me that they were taking her off the drugs to let her wake, a little part of me thought it was a sign. How stupid am I to have thought Poppy would wake as I said goodbye to her mom today?”

  River turned her face into my chest, and I rubbed her back while she cried at Norman’s words. I placed a hand on the man’s shoulder and squeezed, what anger I felt toward Norman left me.

  “Hey, look!” At the anxiousness in my dad’s voice, I glanced at him. He was focused on Poppy.

  River turned in my arms and the four of us watched as Poppy’s eyes blinked.

  “Talk to her, Dom,” River said and elbowed me.

  “I don’t want to make her cry. The nurse told me not to get my feelings hurt if she cried.”

  “If she does, then talk to her until she calms.”

  I took a deep breath, blew it out, then leaned forward enough, so Poppy was able to see my face when I spoke to her.

  “Hi, baby girl. You’re doing good. Open those brown eyes I’ve only seen in pictures.”

  “Come on, Poppy. If you open those eyes all the way, I’ll buy you a motorcycle as soon as you’re able to ride,” my dad said.

  “And I’ll buy you a pony, Pop,” Norman said.

  “Seriously, a pony?” I laughed.

  “Hey, she’ll be living with you. So I figured why not.” Norman chuckled as did River.

  “Poppy, you need to wake up, sweetie girl. Bet you could get these three to promise you enough animals for your own zoo if you show them your eyes.”

  “You’re not helping,” I said and shook my head. What did I know about eleven-month-old babies? But I hoped anyway that Poppy wasn’t able to understand what her grandpas were saying.

  We kept talking to Poppy, and before long, her legs moved, then her arms. All the while her eyes sporadically opened and closed until finally, with a few seconds of continuous blinking, her eyes opened. I’d never forget the moment I saw my daughter’s eyes.

  The four of us stopped talking and watched Poppy move those eyes to each of us. Then her mouth opened and she wailed. No lead up warning like a whine or a little fussing. Nope, it was a full on cry.

  “Shush, you’re alright,” River cooed and ran her hand over Poppy’s hair. It didn’t escape me that the three men in the room froze with Poppy’s cries. I also realized that while women’s tears in general, I didn’t like. Poppy’s went way past not liking, they gutted me. No man wanted to feel useless.

  The nurse came in and looked at the monitor, then checked Poppy. Before she left, she told us the doctor would be in the check her over.

  That was the end of week one.

  Week two at the hospital started, and it was a lot of things, but dull wasn’t one of them.

  There were highs and lows. I enjoyed the highs, the lows sucked ass. Being able to hold Poppy, hear her laugh, see her smile, reading her a book, playing with her favorite toys that her grandpa Norman had brought from the house, even her blowing spit bubbles, all highs. Poppy crying and her arms reaching when they took her to run a scan on her head, her barfing on me, and her poop running down my shirt because I didn’t get the diaper on tight enough, were all lows. But Poppy bawling, and none of us being able to console her because she missed her mom, there was nothing worse than that. At least I thought so until...

  “Dom, I’m going to have to go home at the end of the week. The superintendent emailed me. There are three workshops next week, and the board wants me to attend. I can’t miss them,” River said when I walked out of the bathroom of the hotel room.

  We’d left the hospital while the PICU went through shift change and left my dad there, it was his turn. The four of us had been rotating turns.

  “You know time is going to drag by.”

  “No, it won’t. Poppy will keep you busy. She’s getting more active every day. She only has the small bandage on her head, and its purpose is more so she doesn’t accidentally scratch the area before they take the stitches out. The doctor said the swelling is gone, she shows no signs that the head injury caused any motor skill damage. Even the road rash is almost healed completely. Only thing really noticeable are the bruises, and that is because they are multicolored, but they’re healing, too.”

  “I know all that. I meant without you.” I glanced around the room. “You were right about the hotel room. Other than using it to shower and store our clothes we didn’t get to use it much. Oh, and two quickies. I’m going to miss the quickies,” I said as I pulled my jeans up.

  “I think you can survive a week,” she said and rolled her eyes.

  “Up here knows that,” I pointed to my head when River looked at me, then pointed to the front of my jeans, “but down here doesn’t.” I laughed when the towel she had wrapped around her head hit me.

  We finished dressing and headed back to the hospital.

  Two days later, River flew home. And week two officially ended.

  She said I’d survive week three without her. I wasn’t so sure I would.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Jag

  Week three started out slow. By the middle, we were scrambling. We were given the go for Poppy to fly. Tickets were bought immediately. Norman had packed a bag for Poppy last week when he had her things packed and shipped. All of it was due to arrive the day before we got back.

  When I called to give an update to Crus
her, he told me not to worry, they would get Poppy’s room put together.

  Poppy’s release date arrived, and I’d never been so happy to leave a place or so exhausted.

  At the airport, Norman said goodbye to Poppy. I’m not sure in his shoes I would have done the same.

  Seated in first class, with my seat leaned back, my daughter dozing, I closed my eyes.

  “I like River. She’s good with Poppy, too. But most of all, I’m not sure you and I would have gotten by that first week without her,” my dad said and leaned his own seat back.

  “I like her, too, Dad,” I answered without opening my eyes.

  “Are you going to do something about that?” he asked.

  “Working on it.”

  “Need me to put in a good word for you?”

  “Nah, I’m good.” I cracked an eye open and looked at my dad.

  “I’m always here for you, Dom.”

  “I know, Dad. And thanks for making the trip with me.”

  “Wouldn’t have been anywhere else.”

  “I will be glad to get Poppy home. Her room is done, Crusher called this morning to see if we were going to need a ride to the compound and he told me.”

  “Poppy needs to have familiar things around. It’ll make it easier for her to settle in.”

  “I hope so. That’s why River’s picking us. I called to let her know we were heading home. She mentioned it might be good if Poppy saw a familiar face when we land. Plus, she misses her.”

  “You’re not doing something right if Poppy is the only one she misses,” my dad said and chuckled.

  “She cares. I see it in her eyes. But her saying it may take a while.”

  “River may surprise you, Dom.”

  “I can wait. Not sure I can take any more surprises.”

  River

  As Dom drove, he kept glancing in the rearview mirror at me. The desire I saw was for me, but I wasn’t sure after I told of the week I had when I’d gotten back, it would still be there. And it scared me.

  I’d picked them up at the airport, nervous about seeing him, yet curious at the same time. I needed to know if the feelings that grew while we’d been together taking care of Poppy were because of the circumstance or because of the man himself.

  From the way he hugged and kissed me at the airport, it was the man. But as I sat in the back seat with Poppy, keeping her entertained, doubt pushed through. Brought on from my old self I knew but knowing didn’t necessarily help push it back.

  Regardless of the swirling feelings I was dealing with, I wouldn’t put off telling him. Not after what he just went through.

  The truck slowed, then turned, I didn’t need to look to know my time for musings was about to end. We’d arrived at Black Hawk.

  We dropped Flyboy off at his place, then pulled up in front of Dom’s house. I carried Poppy in, who had fallen asleep, and Dom grabbed his and Poppy’s things.

  The air between us felt chilled, and I knew Dom was feeling it too because neither one of us had spoken on the way to his house.

  “What going on, River?” Dom asked as soon as he closed the door.

  I looked down at Poppy, then back to him.

  “I needed to talk with you. It can wait until Poppy is settled.”

  “Just say what you have to say. Then you can go. I have Poppy now. And I’m too tired for anything else,” he said, then took Poppy from my arms.

  “I know you have her, I was there, remember?”

  He didn’t answer. Instead, he headed for the stairs, and I followed.

  “Let me help you put her down?”

  “Fine.” The clipped answer was a sign he was running out of patience.

  I followed into the room that was now Poppy’s. I don’t know what I expected, but her room was completely set up as though she always lived there.

  “Who did this?” I asked as Dom laid Poppy gently down in her crib. She didn’t even move. I grabbed a diaper while Dom opened drawers until he found her pajamas.

  “The guys and the women,” he answered as we worked together getting Poppy ready for bed. Through the whole process, Poppy slept.

  “I can’t believe she didn’t wake up,” I commented as we left the room.

  “She had a busy day, she’s exhausted. So am I, so let’s get this over with,” he said, then headed down the stairs. I followed him downstairs and into the living room.

  I sat on one corner of the couch, and he took the other. When I didn’t immediately speak, he raised a brow.

  I wiped my hands on my pants, then clasped them on my lap.

  “I’m not sure how much of the phone call with my mother you heard? We never discussed it.”

  “Enough to know your ex cheated and blamed you,” he said, and I nodded.

  “Yes, he did. He also got her pregnant.”

  “Jesus. River, the situation with Simone and Poppy, you—"

  “No! I’m not comparing your situation with Thomas cheating and the woman being pregnant.”

  “Okay, but I don’t understand.”

  “You might if you let me finish,” I said, my nervousness for what he would do when I told him, making me lash out.

  “By all means continue,” he said.

  “Thomas and I tried to have a baby, but nothing worked, then his girlfriend becomes pregnant. And that put it right in my face, I was the reason we weren’t conceiving.”

  “That’s what you meant when the condom broke. I panicked a bit, and you said not to worry about it. I thought you meant you were on the pill. I was going to ask you, but it slipped my mind with everything going on. You can’t think you being unable to have kids would matter to me?”

  “It did me.”

  “Ah, sweetheart. I’m sorry. So that is why you were acting weird. You were afraid of how I would react? Christ, I thought you were going to tell me you decided this week that you couldn’t deal with my situation with Poppy.” Dom chuckled, and when what he said sank in, I was pissed. All nervousness gone.

  “You ass. You having a child makes no difference. I fell in love with her the second I saw her. This week was hell, I missed you and her, and I struggled with that because of how fast everything is moving between us. Then I’m not back two days and I start throwing up. Then I had the workshops to attend, and I had to sit through those with an upset stomach. When it dawns on me that I missed my period, I freaked because hello, I thought I can’t have kids. The only reason I bought the test is because my symptoms fit. Throwing up in the mornings, breasts more tender...no one should search their symptoms on the internet...I thought I was dying from sixty different illnesses and diseases. Thankfully, I calmed down enough that I figured the best thing was to start ruling out things. Hence, buying the test. Once I got it home, I started panicking again. Because if it came back negative meant I probably did have one of the other—”

  “River!” Dom said loudly, interrupting me. “Are you pregnant?” he asked after I stopped talking.

  “I was trying to tell you that,” I said defensively.

  “Yes, I know. I’m sorry for interrupting you. But I was afraid the baby would get here before you got around to telling me,” he said and grabbed me, pulling me on his lap.

  “What are you doing?”

  “First, I’m going to kiss you. Then I’m going to take you upstairs to my bed. It’s been a week. Those quickies didn’t hold me.”

  “So...you’re okay with the baby?”

  “Yep, I’m a multitasker,” he said, then kissed me.

  After he devoured my mouth, he carried me upstairs and showed me not only did the quickies not hold but that he was a helluva multitasker.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Jag

  Two weeks I’d been learning this baby stuff and if River hadn’t been staying with us, I not sure I would have survived. The experience gave me great respect for single parents. Sami was getting a big hug the next time I saw her. I’m not sure how she handled it all for four years raising Ally.

  As I
looked into my daughter’s dark brown eyes, I wonder what she thought of our predicament.

  “I’m trying, baby girl, but you got to meet me halfway,” I said, and Poppy blew bubbles in response.

  I looked around the bathroom and cringed. Nothing like a baby to make you feel incompetent.

  “So much for surprising River and having you bathed when she gets back from the grocery store.” Once again, Poppy’s response was slobbery bubbles.

  “Are you finished? Can we try the bath again?” I looked at the tub and groaned. Yeah, the only way I was going to get Poppy’s bath finished was in the other bathroom.

  “Oh, my goodness, what is going on in here?” I turned my head and River stood in the doorway, her eyes taking in the bathroom. “And why are you holding her above the toilet?” she asked and walked into the bathroom.

  Poppy turned her head at River’s voice and answered before I did. She still slobbered, but she babbled a string of unrecognizable words.

  “I’m pretty sure she’s telling you her daddy has no idea what he’s doing,” I said, and River stepped closer, then looked in the tub.

  “Oh, Dom,” River said, then laughed. “Why didn’t you wait until she was finished? You could have drained the tub and washed it out, then filled it and finished her bath.”

  “Because it’s poop,” I said as though River didn’t recognize what she was seeing. “I panicked, alright. The poop started coming, and my only thought was to get her out of the water, so I did. And since it was still coming, I kicked the toilet lid up and held her over it. Satisfied?”

  River’s lip twitched.

  “Don’t you dare laugh?”

  “Sorry, I’m trying to picture you with two,” she said, then grabbed the counter as she laughed.

  “Well, hopefully, Poppy will be sitting on the toilet by the time that one comes,” I answered and pointed to River’s stomach.