Cowboys Don't Have a Secret Baby

by Jessie Gussman

  “That would be fun!” Tella called from the back. “I love riding horses.”

  Louise tilted her head. “At least it’s not cold.”

  “True.” Although the colder rains of autumn were coming. Soon. “But I have resources and friends in convenient places, and—” He paused, drawing the suspense out.

  “What? What?” Tella called from the back seat.

  “We’re still going to have a picnic. We’re just going to have it in the barn. I borrowed a projector, set up a screen, and thought we’d have a movie too. I also brought some games out.” He’d had to dig those up out of the closet, but he thought Tella would enjoy them. It’d taken some work to get the barn ready. The people who were renting the fields kept some equipment on the barn floor, but there were still some square bales in the loft. He’d hung up an old sheet for the “screen,” and he’d brought out several blankets so Louise wouldn’t have to sit on prickly hay. Not that he figured she’d care.

  He’d never be able to get away with a date like this with any of the girls he’d dated in the city. But he thought this was something Louise would enjoy.

  “Yay!” Tella shouted.

  And Tella.

  “You have a projector?” Louise asked, disbelief lacing her voice.

  “We don’t own it. My mom just happens to be the one who keeps the church’s projector. She gave me permission to use it.” He gave her a sideways glance. “After all, it’s not like I’m a freeloader at church. I’m co-chairing the Harvest Fest committee.”

  Louise snorted, as he’d intended. She was going to be laughing by the end of the day if he had anything to do with it.

  LOUISE AND TELLA LAUGHED as Ty finished telling the story about his dad and the hog that got away. He figured any story that ended with him covered in mud from head to toe and a hog headed toward town would tickle their funny bones. It had.

  “Did you ever catch it?” Tella asked, after she was done laughing.

  “Nope. It’s probably still out there somewhere.”

  Her dark blue eyes got big. “Do you think?”

  He was stretched out on his side, his belly full, his heart happy, his head resting on his hand. “Every time I hear about someone shooting a feral pig in Florida or Texas, I wonder if that old sow didn’t think it was time to migrate to a warmer climate and live out her days where she didn’t have to worry about surviving the winter.”

  Tella’s face scrunched up. She imitated his position on the opposite side of the blanket, facing him. Louise hadn’t relaxed quite that much and sat primly on the end between their feet. Which was fine. He had a great view of her, and he hadn’t supposed she would lie down beside him so he could tuck her into his stomach, wrap his arm around her, and bury his nose in her hair.

  “I don’t know why it would want to leave North Dakota. There’s no snow in Florida, and Uncle Palmer says North Dakota is the best place in the world to live.”

  Ty caught Louise’s small smile at that, and his insides shivered. He wouldn’t be able to settle down in North Dakota for years. Not until his hockey career was over, and he planned on playing as long as he could.

  Although he loved being back on the farm. The memories were here but not as painful as he’d feared. Coming back had resurrected his ranching dreams, which was always what he’d planned on doing until hockey had presented the opportunities it had.

  “Honey, Ty’s been a lot more places than Uncle Palmer has. Maybe he thinks there’s somewhere better.”

  Tella’s face drew down like thunderclouds lowering over the prairie.

  “There’s a lot of pretty places in the world,” he said, not wanting to lie. But he supposed it was the same as there being a lot of pretty women in the world. “But there’s just one place that’s home.” And there was just one girl that was perfect for him. All the other girls he’d dated over the years were missing something. Sometimes they were missing a lot of things. But he’d never had that feeling with Louise. Not in high school, not now.

  She studied his face, and he wished he knew what she was thinking. Wished he could sit up, pull her into himself, and talk about how she was everything he wanted, but she needed time. He intended to give it to her.

  “Ready for the movie?” They’d played every game he’d brought out, and the remains of their picnic lay on the blanket in front of them. The light was fading, and it was getting cooler.

  “Yes!” Tella called out.

  He watched Louise nod.

  “I’ll get it ready.” He sat up then pushed to a standing position, his leg giving one small twitch but nothing major. He had an appointment next week at the doctor’s two hours away, but he could feel that he was healing. He’d be in shape for the season, easy. His trainer was pushing to ramp up his workouts, and his PT was giving the green light.

  Only, somehow, the excitement of starting the season was tempered for the first time by the idea that maybe there was somewhere else he’d rather be.

  It took him a few minutes to get the movie going with the projector hooked up to his laptop. By then, Louise had the blanket cleaned off. Tella lay on her stomach, with her head in her hands, facing the screen. Louise had moved from the end of the blanket and sat crossed-legged behind Tella at her feet.

  Taking chances was part of his job, and he barely debated before he sat down behind Louise and a little to the side, so that Tella’s feet were in front of him on his right and Louise was in front of him on his left.

  “This okay?” he asked low to Louise as the music from the movie began, loud and cheerful.

  “You’re going to watch the movie over my shoulder?”

  “It’s a nice shoulder.”

  Her air puffed out in a stifled laugh. “Not better than the movie.”

  “It is, actually. But I can see the screen just fine if that’s what you’re worried about.”

  She took a breath. “No. You’re just...close, that’s all.”

  “It bother you?” he asked, not sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

  “No,” she breathed out.

  His heart spun.

  Part of playing good hockey was knowing when to press your advantage. “So I could move closer?”

  The movie began with action, and he was afraid it might have drowned out his request. But he didn’t want to draw Tella’s attention to the fact that he was trying to snuggle with her mother.

  A little fear or uncertainty flashed across Louise’s face. He hated it, and he hated himself for causing it. “I’m not leaving you again,” he said, his voice full of sand and gravel because of the guilt in his heart. He couldn’t expect her to believe it just because he said so, but he had to do something to erase that look from her face.

  She closed her eyes before turning her head back toward the screen.

  It wasn’t a yes, but it wasn’t a no, either. He slid up a little. “You’ll be more comfortable if you lean against me.” He forced the next words out of his closed-up throat. “I promise I won’t touch you with my hands.”

  Her head twisted back, and her eyes narrowed as though gauging the truth in his promise. “I kept it the last time.”

  She lifted her chin just slightly. He kept eye contact as he slid forward, putting one leg on either side of her.

  Heat flushed in her cheeks, and her breathing became less steady. It matched his.

  Why did he make those stupid promises? Because he wanted to brush her flyaway hair away from her face and tuck it behind her ear, then run his fingers through it, pulling her toward him, kissing her until they were both breathless, which would take about two seconds on his part, anyway.

  “Someday I want to see your hair down.” He hadn’t planned on those words coming out.

  He hadn’t realized his chest could get any tighter as she reached up and pulled her hair out of its holder. She fluffed it with her fingers, holding his eyes. His lids were heavy, and he had trouble holding them open. They drooped as his fingers tingled. But he didn’t move. Barely breath
ed.

  There was a vulnerability on her face that pulled at his heart. He wanted her trust. It wasn’t going to be an easy thing to earn.

  She dropped her hands and turned back toward the movie. Slowly her body eased back into his. His hands balled where they held his weight behind him on the hay. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and pull her back into him, but he’d promised not to touch her, and she was trusting him.

  So he took what he could get. The fresh-air scent of her hair. The press of her back against his stomach. The heat of her slim body through his t-shirt. Her trust that he would keep his word.

  If only the movie would last forever, but it ended, and Louise leaned up.

  Tella sat up, twisting around. “I have to use the restroom.”

  “You can go in the house. Miss Donna is there.”

  “Brush yourself off,” Louise said. “And you can probably call her ‘grandma’ if you want to.”

  “Really?” Tella asked with bright eyes.

  “Ask her,” Louise replied.

  Ty should have thought of that earlier, but they’d come and gone straight to the barn, so they’d not seen his mother.

  “We’re going to pack this stuff up and come in shortly,” he said to Tella, stuffing down his disappointment as Louise moved completely away from him, brushing some hay off the blanket.

  “Okay,” Tella said as she threw a leg around the ladder and climbed the short distance to the ground. She skipped away, slipping out the wooden door and closing it behind her.

  Louise didn’t stand, but she moved around, stacking the games and putting the food basket aside.

  She talked as she worked, keeping her head down and not meeting his eyes. “Thanks so much for having us this evening. Tella really enjoyed herself, and I appreciate you spending some time with her. Even if you don’t plan on seeing her much—”

  She stopped abruptly as he took hold of her arm. When he’d asked her to lean against him, he’d promised not to touch her. But that was over.

  Her surprised eyes shot to his face. “Break up with Paul.” He hated the begging that was in his voice. “Please.”

  Her eyes searched his, wide and uncertain.

  “Don’t go out with anyone else,” he continued in the same tone. “Just me.” He didn’t need to push her for a commitment. She could take her time learning to trust him again. He could take years before he asked her to share his life, which was what he really wanted. But he needed this one thing. He needed her loyalty.

  “I broke up with him that night after the movie,” she said softly.

  Heat from her arm warmed his hand. Relief soothed his heart. “Thank you.”

  “It doesn’t have anything to do with you. I thought it would work, but it was just another mistake...” Her voice trailed off.

  He flinched.

  She shook her head. “It’s over with him. It should never have started. I thought I was doing a good thing for Tella, but it wouldn’t have been.”

  She looked a little more disappointed than the situation called for, in his opinion, and she’d made sure he knew he wasn’t the reason she’d broken up with Paul.

  He leaned forward, unable to keep his fingertips from running along her hairline and down the angle of her jaw. Her blue eyes darkened. He did affect her. In some way.

  “I know you don’t have any reason to believe me,” he whispered, inches from her face. “But I know what’s out there doesn’t compare to what’s right here.” He moved his fingers along her cheek. Maybe he wasn’t clear. “No one else compares to you.”

  She turned her head and shook it a little. “I’ve seen the pictures, Ty. You’ve been with a hundred other women who are a lot more beautiful than me.”

  Tension in her shoulders spoke of the hurt those pictures had caused, and he cursed his stupidity. How difficult it must have been for her to be here, raising his child, seeing him with other women.

  He knew what everyone thought, and he’d never made a single effort to keep them from thinking any differently. It would sound like lies now, but he had to say, “None of them meant anything to me. To me, you’re the most beautiful woman in the world.”

  Her lip pulled back. As he suspected, she didn’t really believe him. What could he do to convince her to trust him?

  Kissing her probably wasn’t the answer, but that’s what he seemed bent on doing as his body leaned even farther toward her. She lifted her head and didn’t back away. It gave him hope and caused his heart to thump, heavy and fast.

  But he stopped. Everyone had said he had only been after one thing. He wasn’t going to kiss her. Not yet. As much as he wanted to. He put his lips on her forehead instead. Even that caused his heart to shake.

  She didn’t pull away, and he kept his lips against her skin. “I want to kiss you. My whole body aches for it. But I want your trust more than I want anything else.” He skimmed his lips along her forehead, feeling the soft skin. It wasn’t enough, but he couldn’t have more. Not now.

  He pulled back, hating that she had to work because of him and hating that he had to take her home now.

  She nodded and they stood, gathering up the picnic things and heading toward the house.

  Chapter 19

  That week, Ty seemed to be around as much as he could be. He helped with canning and with Pap. He helped Palmer build a ramp for their porch. He went with Louise to Gram’s appointment in a bigger town an hour away. He bought her and Gram a nice dinner in a much fancier restaurant than they were used to.

  He helped at the diner, bussing tables and even serving some food, if Louise was busy with editing. He and Louise talked about Harvest Fest and made plans for it. One week slipped into two.

  By the third week, he still hadn’t kissed her. Although they were bantering like old friends now, and she felt more comfortable with him than she ever had with anyone before, she didn’t want to be the friend he hung out with until hockey started and he left for good. The day of his departure was the day after Harvest Fest, but she did not allow herself to dwell on that.

  She didn’t have time to think about it the morning of Harvest Fest.

  The day dawned clear but chilly. Normal mid-September weather for North Dakota. Ty had wanted to pick her up and take her in when he’d dropped her off last night, but she wanted to have her car, just in case she needed to run home.

  He was waiting at the park when she pulled in at daylight, unloading boxes from his truck. They’d done some decorating the night before, but because of wind and the off chance it would rain, they waited until today to put the majority of things up.

  Ty came over and opened her door.

  “You already have the tables set up. That’s great!”

  He grinned. “I didn’t need light to set up tables.” One of his big shoulders moved up. “Well, nothing more than my car headlights.”

  She shook her head. “You do know this isn’t like a normal thing, where if you do a good job, you get promoted to an easier job?”

  He tilted his head.

  She continued. “It’s more like if you do a good job, you get punished by everyone saying you did a great job and you should do it again next year. Plus, they’ll volunteer you for something else, too, just to make sure you don’t get too proud of yourself for pulling it off.”

  “As long as you’re my co-chair, I’m game.”

  She laughed and hit his shoulder lightly. “You’ve been the brawn and the brains.” Which was true. He’d done a lot of planning at the restaurant while she worked. He’d ask questions then write down ideas. He’d even bought Mrs. Aucker dinner, at least four or five times, as he ran his ideas by her. In Louise’s opinion, that was very brave of him.

  “But I like working with you.” His eyes glinted down at her, and she paused in pulling out the tablecloths, looking over her shoulder at him. “I’m going to kiss you today,” he said, as casually as he might have said the wind was blowing.

  Her eyes widened, and her heart stuttered and gasped a
s his grin turned wolfish. “Just warning you.”

  How was she supposed to work all day with that in the back of her head? “How about you just do it now and get it over with?”

  His booming laugh filled the early morning air.

  “That’s romantic.” He stepped closer, his hand going to her waist. “If you don’t want me kissing you, you’d better say so, because it’s going to hurt my feelings if my lips are on yours and I’m going crazy and you’re just standing there wishing I’d get it over with.”

  His hand on her waist did funny things to her heart and mind. Made one go faster and one slower. She had never flirted, but dang, if her eyes didn’t bat and she didn’t give him a sassy smile. “I don’t know, Ty. You might have lost your touch since high school.”

  He growled, half-pretend, half-real-sounding, and put his other hand on her waist, drawing her closer. And closer. Her chest touched his, and he leaned down. “If I haven’t gotten better since high school, you’re going to work with me and let me practice until kissing me is your favorite pastime. Until you can’t think when I kiss you. Until all you can say after I’m done kissing you is ‘yes, Ty,’ ‘more, Ty,’ ‘please more, Ty.’” His wolfish grin was back. She felt like she was almost at that point now, and all he had done was put his hands on her waist.

  Well, she didn’t want to be the only one whose brain had flown south for the winter. Dropping the tablecloths, she ran her hands up his chest and out his shoulders, following the curves to caress his biceps before moving up and around the back of his neck. She pressed closer while playing with the short hair at the base of his skull. “Yes, Ty,” she whispered with a twinkle in her eye. “More, Ty,” she breathed softly as his eyes drooped and his hands tightened on her waist. “Please more, Ty,” she said in a throaty, husky sound that she didn’t even recognize as her own.

  He groaned and laughed at the same time, dropping his head to her ear. “Okay, okay, you’ve made your point. You drive me insane. I can’t stop thinking about you, and when I finally do kiss you, I know my brain is going to disappear. Have mercy on me, lady. The town already thinks it was me that took advantage of you. They don’t know all you have to do is whisper my name and I’ll do whatever you want.” His breath brushed by her ear, making electric sparks fly through her body, while his words touched her wounded spirit, deep inside.