A Cemetery, a Cannibal, and the Day of the Dead

by CC Dragon

“I’ll wait here,” Gunnar mumbled.

  “No, you’re coming in. It’s not a date,” I snarked.

  We entered and LeBlanc stood up. Men. So weird.

  “Hi,” he said.

  “Hi, sorry I had to dash earlier. I ended up in an investigation down at the morgue,” I explained.

  He frowned. “You said you were leaving for the cemetery.”

  “I went there. Then we came to the morgue. The incidents are higher and more destructive than normal pre-Halloween stuff. I’m trying to get out ahead of it,” I said.

  “How can I help?” He sat back down and gestured to the guest chairs.

  “We need to identify any patients you might have that are known to be obsessed with the dead,” I said.

  “Patients?”

  “Mental health patients obsessed with dead bodies. Neophiliacs, those obsessed with death or making a zombie, vampires, cannibals, or anyone who might want to get their hands on a dead body,” I said.

  “Like for a prop in a haunted house? I heard that one story about a house with a real skeleton,” LeBlanc said.

  “No, not for that. This isn’t bones. We were just in the morgue. Someone went in and messed with the bodies. They must’ve had a badge in order to access it. I’m sure everyone will get a memo but you have access to mental health records. If the police haven’t, eventually they will want to pull any patient with an obsession with the dead for questioning.” I leaned on his desk. “Sorry to drag you into this but it’s your hospital.”

  “No, I appreciate the heads up. It might be a patient of mine,” he said.

  “They didn’t say the corpses were sexually...ya know,” Gunnar added.

  “No, but one was posed. A female propped on her side. Someone may have been interrupted. Hopefully it’s isolated but someone took a jackhammer and a sledge hammer to a grave overnight. It’s getting worse. Can’t hurt to get ahead of this.” I smiled.

  “Sure thing. I’ll call when I have a list. Unless you want to wait. The search won’t take long but sorting out those who are considered a danger...it might take a little consultation with colleagues.” LeBlanc went to work on his keyboard.

  “No, she didn’t sleep well last night. It’s naptime,” Gunnar said.

  “You’re not my caretaker,” I shot at him.

  Gunnar smirked. “Tell that to Ivy. Come on, boss. We’ve done what we can for today. Call me when you have something.” He pointed to LeBlanc.

  Paul nodded as I glared at Gunnar. I was being handled but considering I was jonesing for another cup of coffee, I had to agree that a power nap would do me well.

  Chapter Five

  With Greg having cleansed and blessed the house while I was gone and Gunnar basically standing guard outside my door until I was quiet, I slept like the dead all afternoon. With a break for dinner, I actually slept most of the night as well.

  A cat pouncing on my toes was a nice way to wake up. I managed to avoid oversleep fatigue and got myself showered and dressed at a normal time. I headed down for breakfast feeling stronger, or at least stable.

  Ivy was there.

  “Morning, sunshine,” she said.

  “Hi. Is Brody here?” I asked.

  “No, he had to close the shop and open it again. I guess a lot of people are dressing up this year as zombie brides or prom queens or something. They’ve had a lot of people coming in on top of the normal brides and such. One night apart won’t kill us. Did you like him?”

  “I did. Nice, down to earth and a great voice,” I said.

  “Down to earth sounds so blah,” Ivy pouted.

  I opted for juice instead of coffee just yet. “Are you planning on challenging RuPaul or moving to Hollywood?”

  “No.” Ivy waved that off.

  “Then you’re down to earth too. You have a good job. Good friends. Sing for fun. He’s a good fit.” I nodded.

  “He needs another job,” Ivy said.

  “What do you mean? You just said he’s working non-stop,” I said.

  Ivy winced. “He’s being harassed. Not about being a drag queen but by the owner’s husband. He’s some closet case in denial or curious or something. He keeps groping or hitting on Brody at work. The wife is clueless and Brody doesn’t want to be in the middle.”

  “That’s sexual harassment. Tell Brody to contact Matt.” I sipped my juice.

  “I told him to but then he’ll really be out of a job. It’s a family business—he’s the only one not related to work there,” Ivy pouted.

  I sighed. “I’m sorry for what he’s going through. Do you need someone at the club? I’m not sure it’s smart to work with your boyfriend.”

  “No, we’re fully staffed. I was hoping maybe your clinic project might need some help.” Ivy smiled.

  “It’s just starting construction and renovations. He works in a bridal shop. That’s not exactly medicine,” I pointed out.

  “No, but he used to work construction. He can keep an eye on your contractors and all that. No cutting corners or skimping allowed. Then you can hire him as a manager or hell, even reception. Please, he needs something safe and not so creepy. Plus, he dragged a cousin to rehab a few times so he knows the drill.” Ivy sat back and took a swig of coffee.

  “Okay, I’ll talk to him about it. I just don’t want drama if you two break up,” I said.

  Ivy clutched the neck of her robe. “We are forever.”

  “You sound like a teenager,” I grumbled.

  Gunnar, who was mixing batter in a bowl, grinned at our exchange. Before I could ask him his opinion the oven dinged.

  “What smells so good?” I asked.

  “A friend brought over a bunch of fresh berries. I just thought I’d make some muffins. Too much to eat, but I can freeze some.” He opened the fridge.

  “That’s a lot of berries,” I agreed.

  I went over and grabbed a plain Greek yogurt and a handful of berries. “Thanks.”

  “A few dozen muffins won’t hurt. We can take some to LeBlanc when we follow up on his findings.” Gunnar winked at me.

  “Are you hitting on him? You know he’s straight, right?” I teased.

  “We can say you made them,” Gunnar teased right back.

  “You do and you’re fired,” I warned. “Speaking of straight men, where’s Greg?”

  “He left me a text that he had to go do an anointing of the sick.” Ivy shrugged.

  “I thought he was an ex-priest,” Gunnar said.

  “He is. I didn’t think he did sacraments still.” I enjoyed the yogurt while I waited for the muffins to cool.

  “Anyone can marry people these days. Fill out a form on the internet. If someone wanted him to do it, he’d go,” Ivy said.

  “Of course.” I just had a really bad feeling about it, whatever it was.

  I grabbed my phone and texted Greg.

  “De, really?” Ivy frowned.

  “No, I think I know who died,” I muttered.

  “Died? You said sick anointing,” Gunnar replied.

  “It’s a combo thing, hon. Mix your batter.” Ivy blew him a kiss.

  Instead of a text reply, my phone rang.

  “Hi, Greg,” I said.

  “Mrs. Weathers died a few hours ago. I didn’t want to wake you.” He sounded tired.

  “I got that feeling. I’ll be right over,” I said.

  “Good, I think Mary Lou could use a friend.” He ended the call.

  “Mrs. Weathers died. Everyone get dressed. We need a basket for those muffins because they’re coming with us. And some of those berries too.” I pointed at Gunnar, who was already dressed.

  I went up and changed and so did Ivy.

  I didn’t go too dark. Black jeans and a maroon top were respectful but not obvious. The distressed jeans and Tulane University shirt I’d had on before would’ve felt very wrong.

  Gunnar had found a suitable basket for the muffins and mixed up an assortment of berries as well.

  Ivy came down the stairs in a dusty ro
se day dress and flats. I braced myself for a long day and took the basket while Ivy took the berries.

  “You’re not coming?” I asked Gunnar.

  “I don’t know them well enough. I should stay here and keep an eye on things. Could be a trick to get all the powerful people out of the house,” he pointed out.

  “You’re not wrong.” I looked around for the house ghost who was always around lurking somewhere. “Missy. Go tell the angels in the spare room to keep guard. I need to be sure this place is secure.”

  Missy shook her transparent head at me.

  “I know you’re unsettled by the angels but I don’t care. You go and tell them.” I headed for the door.

  Missy shook her head again.

  I stared at her coolly. “You do it or I’ll lock you in the attic with the other lost souls.”

  I left with Ivy in tow.

  Outside, Ivy gave me a look.

  “What?” I asked.

  “I know you’re upset that the old lady died but she’s gotta be pushing ninety. It’s not like she was suddenly struck down at a young age. That doesn’t make it easy but you don’t usually bite the heads off of the house ghosts,” Ivy pointed out.

  “Missy has been hiding more and more since the angels arrived. I’m starting to think she’s the vulnerability,” I said.

  “You think she’s letting the demons in?” Ivy asked.

  “No, not exactly. But trusting her isn’t a great idea. She did something she’s afraid to face in her past. Why else wouldn’t she just go to heaven like a normal dead person? She knows she’s dead. It’s not like we pretend she’s alive.”

  Ivy nodded. “This one is all you. Greg and I can’t see her.”

  “I know. I just want to focus on this right now.” I rang the doorbell of the nearby mansion. It was larger than mine and everything was luxurious and ornate. I marveled at the stained-glass door. The Weathers needed to show off in a way my Gran never did. She liked durable and classy over trends.

  Matt opened the door. His eyes were bloodshot.

  “I’m so sorry.” I hugged him.

  “She was peaceful,” he said softly.

  Lance, one of Matt’s brothers, paced uneasily. Lance’s wife, Mary Lou, came into the foyer. “She’s upstairs. The funeral home is going to move her soon. Did you want to see her here?”

  “No, it’s fine.” I hugged my old friend.

  I looked around for John but didn’t see him or his wife.

  “Where’s John?” I asked.

  “Out of town. He was on a trip with his wife. Matt called them. They’ll be home by tonight.” Mary Lou sniffed. “Greg is up there with her.”

  “He was in time?” I asked.

  She nodded.

  “You called him,” Lance grumbled.

  “Who else could be here fast enough? She had a stroke a few months back. She didn’t want anyone to know. She signed a DNR back then. We had a nurse on duty with her all the time. Last night she started having trouble breathing. Really gasping and they told us this might be it so I called Greg to do a blessing. I didn’t know how much time we had,” Mary Lou explained.

  “You don’t need to justify it. You did the right thing.” I shot Lance a look.

  It was an old-fashioned marriage. He was rich and Mary Lou was a former Miss Louisiana. The fact that she’d had an affair with Greg...well, that wasn’t the point when a woman was dying.

  The men from the funeral home carried Mrs. Weathers on a stretcher, covered in a sheet, down the stairs carefully.

  “The coroner left already,” Matt said.

  I nodded.

  As they reached the ground floor, they extended the wheels on the stretcher and rolled her toward the front door.

  “Wait. You should see her first,” Mary Lou said.

  The man in a black suit folded back the sheet from Mrs. Weather’s face.

  Clearly, she’d aged since John’s wedding. The stroke had taken a toll on her. She was thin and pale. I patted her arm and nodded to the man.

  He covered her up and moved on.

  “I can’t believe it,” Mary Lou cried.

  I hugged her since Lance didn’t seem to care much and Greg doing anything with her would probably start a fist fight.

  Ivy hugged her too. “Have you eaten anything?”

  Mary Lou shook her head.

  “We need some butter. These muffins will help. You’re weak. You have to keep up your strength.” Ivy took the basket from me and steered Mary Lou toward the kitchen.

  “Can I do anything?” I offered.

  “Leave,” Lance said.

  “Stop it now,” Matt warned his brother.

  “I meant him. She’s annoying, but this guy? It’s rubbing her affair in my face.” Lance pointed to Greg.

  “I’ll go.” Greg headed for the door and said to me over his shoulder, “Call if you need anything.”

  “We will. Gunnar is making more muffins. Eat something and get some rest. Watch the house,” I said.

  Lance scoffed. “Watch the house? You’ve got a damn hostel going over there. No one robs Garden District mansions anyway.”

  “My home, my business.” I set my purse down on the table by the entryway. “Did she have her affairs planned out?”

  “She had a will.” Lance nodded.

  Lance was always about money. I wanted to smack him but he’d lost his mother. I had to be nice.

  “No, I meant what sort of service she wanted. The funeral home has been chosen. Did she have a dress?” I asked.

  The doorbell rang and Matt turned away.

  “I’ll get it.” I checked the peephole first. I recognized Carson and Hart from yesterday. “Matt, it’s two of the detectives.”

  Matt nodded.

  I opened the door a bit. “You know about the death?” I whispered.

  “We do, we want to brief him, get what he knows and take the burden off of him,” Carson replied softly.

  “Good. Come in,” I said.

  Matt shook hands with the two men and I left them to talk. I joined the ladies in the functional kitchen usually only staffed by hired help. I grabbed a muffin to be social. I was hungry, too. Mary Lou was forcing one down.

  “They are good,” Ivy said.

  “Whatever you need, Mary Lou. I’ll help you plan things, pick a dress, or whatever. I know it’s hard.” I noticed the housekeeper making a fresh pot of coffee.

  “I’ll get out of your way if you don’t need anything,” she said.

  “No, it’s fine. I could use a cup.” I nodded to the coffee.

  “Of course, Miss.” She poured one and handed it to me in a fine china cup with saucer both had a delicate pink design.

  I was so not this fancy rich and Southern. I used big mugs but I also didn’t have hired help. At least not ones that wore uniforms. Mrs. Weathers was old school.

  Mary Lou took a deep breath. “She had her plans made with the funeral home. I need to pick a dress, though. And we need to put together some pictures.”

  “We’re here, whatever you need.” Ivy patted Mary Lou’s hand.

  “Greg left?” Mary Lou asked.

  “He did. Lance wasn’t very tolerant of that. I’m sure you have another priest in mind for the services,” I said.

  She nodded. “She’s my mother-in-law. I’ll do the dress but Lance can make those calls.”

  “Why do you stay with that jerk?” Ivy asked.

  I shot her a look. “Now isn’t the time for drama. Let’s get through the funeral.”

  Mary Lou nodded and took a big bite of muffin.

  This was going to be interesting. Of course, Ivy would side with Greg. I would too, but now wasn’t the time for a family feud in public. The late Mrs. Weathers had a lot of money, three sons and two daughters-in-law. They had to get along and get through this for now.

  Matt walked in. “Sorry. Deanna, can you step out here?”

  “Sure.” I patted Mary Lou on the shoulder and took my coffee with me.
r />   Carson and Hart led me outside. “We had more disturbances overnight. Two cemeteries. One had an attempt to open a grave. Another, they said was a prank but a huge mob of kids dressed like walkers from that TV show—well, they went nuts in a cemetery. Over a hundred teens and young adults spread out. Hissing and moaning. Some saying brains. It freaked out some ghost tours.”

  “Arrest any of them?” I asked.

  “A few. Most fled. Minimal damage but people can’t grieve in peace or have a ghost tour. If you get anything...” Hart nodded and handed me his card.

  “Sure. Any news from the hospital?” I asked.

  “Nothing yet but that’s a lot of people to interview and badges to track down. I’m sure no one wants to admit theirs went missing.”

  “But shouldn’t their security system tell you who accessed the area then?” I asked.

  “We’re getting that list,” Carson replied.

  “Okay, let me know if I can help. Nothing turned up yet but I’ll try anything. Until you need me, I’ll stick with Matt and Mary Lou,” I said.

  “Of course. We’ll all be there in shifts to pay our respects.” Hart nodded.

  “Keep me posted. Matt is on bereavement leave, right?” I asked.

  Hard nodded. “He won’t like it but we won’t bug him. Unless people turn up dead or the dead turn up missing. Oh, there was one thing that turned up in the review of the bodies but we’re not sure if it’s new or not.”

  “What is it?” I asked.

  “It appeared there were teeth imprints in the buttocks of the female that was propped up. We’re not sure if it was an attempt at cannibalism or sexual. We took pictures and can try to match dental records but we need something to compare to,” he said.

  “Good to know.” I really didn’t need that image in my head.

  I wanted to say no, don’t bother Matt. Not even if people go missing. You’re all detectives. Do your job. Figure this out. But I went back inside. If I couldn’t figure it out, I shouldn’t be pointing fingers.

  Was this the devil at work? Demons playing with an old woman’s life to pull me off a case? To get her son off of it, too? I couldn’t believe we were that important to anyone but demons caused trouble just to make life hell.

  Butt-biting pranksters. Who would do that?