Oswald Bastable and Others

by E. Nesbit

  THE CHARMED LIFE; OR, THE PRINCESS AND THE LIFT-MAN

  There was once a Prince whose father failed in business and losteverything he had in the world--crown, kingdom, money, jewels, andfriends. This was because he was so fond of machinery that he was alwaysmaking working models of things he invented, and so had no time toattend to the duties that Kings are engaged for. So he lost hissituation. There is a King in French history who was fond of machinery,particularly clock-work, and he lost everything too, even his head. TheKing in this story kept his head, however, and when he wasn't allowed tomake laws any more, he was quite contented to go on making machines. Andas his machines were a great deal better than his laws had ever been, hesoon got a nice little business together, and was able to buy a house inanother kingdom, and settle down comfortably with his wife and son. Thehouse was one of those delightful villas called after Queen Anne (theone whose death is still so often mentioned and so justly deplored),with stained glass to the front-door, and coloured tiles on thefront-garden path, and gables where there was never need of gables, andnice geraniums and calceolarias in the front-garden, and pretty redbrick on the front of the house. The back of the house was yellow brick,because that did not show so much.

  Here the King and the Queen and the Prince lived very pleasantly. TheQueen snipped the dead geraniums off with a pair of gold scissors, anddid fancy-work for bazaars. The Prince went to the Red-Coat School, andthe King worked up his business. In due time the Prince was apprenticedto his father's trade; and a very industrious apprentice he was, andnever had anything to do with the idle apprentices who play pitch andtoss on tombstones, as you see in Mr. Hogarth's picture.

  When the Prince was twenty-one his mother called him to her. She putdown the blotting-book she was embroidering for the School Bazaar intasteful pattern of stocks and nasturtiums, and said:

  'My dear son, you have had the usual coming-of-age presents--silvercigar-case and match-box; a handsome set of brushes, with your initialson the back; a Gladstone bag, also richly initialled; the complete worksof Dickens and Thackeray; a Swan fountain-pen mounted in gold; and theheartfelt blessing of your father and mother. But there is still onemore present for you.'

  'You are too good, mamma,' said the Prince, fingering thenasturtium-coloured silks.

  'Don't fidget,' said the Queen, 'and listen to me. When you were a babya fairy, who was your godmother, gave you a most valuable present--aCharmed Life. As long as you keep it safely, nothing can harm you.'

  'How delightful!' said the Prince. 'Why, mamma, you might have let me goto sea when I wanted to. It would have been quite safe.'

  'Yes, my dear,' said the Queen, 'but it's best to be careful. I havetaken care of your life all these years, but now you are old enough totake care of it for yourself. Let me advise you to keep it in a safeplace. You should never carry valuables about on your person.'

  And then she handed the Charmed Life over to him, and he took it andkissed her, and thanked her for the pretty present, and went away andhid it. He took a brick out of the wall of the villa, and hid his Lifebehind it. The bricks in the walls of these Queen Anne villas generallycome out quite easily.

  Now, the father of the Prince had been King of Bohemia, so, of course,the Prince was called Florizel, which is their family name; but when theKing went into business he went in as Rex Bloomsbury, and his greatpatent Lightning Lift Company called itself R. Bloomsbury and Co., sothat the Prince was known as F. Bloomsbury, which was as near as theKing dared go to 'Florizel, Prince of Bohemia.' His mother, I am sorryto say, called him Florrie till he was quite grown up.

  Now, the King of the country where Florizel lived was a very go-aheadsort of man, and as soon as he heard that there were such things aslifts--which was not for a long time, because no one ever lets a Kingknow anything if it can be helped--he ordered one of the very, very bestfor his palace. Next day a card was brought in by one of the palacefootmen. It had on it: 'Mr. F. Bloomsbury, R. Bloomsbury and Co.'

  'Show him in,' said the King.

  'Good-morning, sire,' said Florizel, bowing with that perfect gracewhich is proper to Princes.

  'Good-morning, young man,' said the King. 'About this lift, now.'

  'Yes, sire. May I ask how much your Majesty is prepared to----'

  'Oh, never mind price,' said the King; 'it all comes out of the taxes.'

  'I should think, then, that Class A ... our special Argentinelladesign--white satin cushions, woodwork overlaid with ivory and insetwith pearls, opals, and silver.'

  'Gold,' said the King shortly.

  'Not with pearls and ivory,' said Florizel firmly. He had excellenttaste. 'The gold pattern--we call it the Anriradia--is inlaid withsapphires, emeralds, and black diamonds.'

  'I'll have the gold pattern,' said the King; 'but you might run up alittle special lift for the Princess's apartments. I dare say she'd likethat Argentinella pattern--"Simple and girlish," I see it says in yourcircular.'

  So Florizel booked the order, and the gold and sapphire and emerald liftwas made and fixed, and all the Court was so delighted that it spentits whole time in going up and down in the lift, and there had to be newblue satin cushions within a week.

  Then the Prince superintended the fixing of the Princess's lift--theArgentinella design--and the Princess Candida herself came to look on atthe works; and she and Florizel met, and their eyes met, and their handsmet, because his caught hers, and dragged her back just in time to saveher from being crushed by a heavy steel bar that was being lowered intoits place.

  'Why, you've saved my life,' said the Princess.

  But Florizel could say nothing. His heart was beating too fast, and itseemed to be beating in his throat, and not in its proper place behindhis waistcoat.

  'Who are you?' said the Princess.

  'I'm an engineer,' said the Prince.

  'Oh dear!' said the Princess, 'I thought you were a Prince. I'm sure youlook more like a Prince than any Prince _I've_ ever seen.'

  'I wish I was a Prince,' said Florizel; 'but I never wished it tillthree minutes ago.'

  The Princess smiled, and then she frowned, and then she went away.

  Florizel went straight back to the office, where his father, Mr. RexBloomsbury, was busy at his knee-hole writing-table.

  He spent the morning at the office, and the afternoon in the workshop.

  'Father,' he said, 'I don't know what ever will become of me. I wish Iwas a Prince!'

  The King and Queen of Bohemia had never let their son know that he was aPrince; for what is the use of being a Prince if there's never going tobe a kingdom for you?

  Now, the King, who was called R. Bloomsbury, Esq., looked at his sonover his spectacles and said:

  'Why?'

  'Because I've been and gone and fallen head over ears in love with thePrincess Candida.'

  The father rubbed his nose thoughtfully with his fountain pen.

  'Humph!' he said; 'you've fixed your choice high.'

  'Choice!' cried the Prince distractedly. 'There wasn't much choice aboutit. She just looked at me, and there I was, don't you know? I didn't_want_ to fall in love like this. Oh, father, it hurts most awfully!What ever shall I do?'

  After a long pause, full of thought, his father replied:

  'Bear it, I suppose.'

  'But I _can't_ bear it--at least, not unless I can see her every day.Nothing else in the world matters in the least.'

  'Dear me!' said his father.

  'Couldn't I disguise myself as a Prince, and try to make her like me alittle?'

  'The disguise you suggest is quite beyond our means at present.'

  'Then I'll disguise myself as a lift attendant,' said Florizel.

  And what is more, he did it. His father did not interfere. He believedin letting young people manage their own love affairs.

  So that when the lift was finished, and the Princess and her ladiescrowded round to make the first ascent in it, there was Florizel dressedin white satin knee-breeches, and coat with mother-o'-pearl butto
ns. Hehad silver buckles to his shoes, and a tiny opal breast-pin on thelappet of his coat, where the white flower goes at weddings.

  When the Princess saw him she said:

  'Now, none of you girls are to go in the lift at all, mind! It's _my_lift. You can use the other one, or go up the mother-of-pearl staircase,as usual.'

  Then she stepped into the lift, and the silver doors clicked, and thelift went up, just carrying her and him.

  She had put on a white silky gown, to match the new lift, and she, too,had silver buckles on her shoes, and a string of pearls round herthroat, and a silver chain set with opals in her dark hair; and she hada bunch of jasmine flowers at her neck. As the lift went out of sightthe youngest lady-in-waiting whispered:

  'What a pretty pair! Why, they're made for each other! What a pity he'sa lift-man! He looks exactly like a Prince.'

  'Hold your tongue, silly!' said the eldest lady-in-waiting, and slappedher.

  The Princess went up and down in the lift all the morning, and when atlast she had to step out of it because the palace luncheon-bell had rungthree times, and the roast peacock was getting cold, the eldestlady-in-waiting noticed that the Lift-man had a jasmine flower fastenedto his coat with a little opal pin.

  The eldest lady-in-waiting kept a sharp eye on the Princess, but afterthat first day the Princess only seemed to go up and down in the liftwhen it was really necessary, and then she always took the youngestlady-in-waiting with her; so that though the Lift-man always had aflower in his buttonhole, there was no reason to suppose it had not beengiven him by his mother.

  'I suppose I'm a silly, suspicious little thing,' said the eldestlady-in-waiting. 'Of course, it was the lift that amused her, just atfirst. How _could_ a Princess be interested in a lift-man?'

  Now, when people are in love, and want to be quite certain that they areloved in return, they will take any risks to find out what they want toknow. But as soon as they are _quite sure_ they begin to be careful.

  And after those seventy-five ups and downs in the lift, on the firstday, the Princess no longer had any doubt that she was beloved by theLift-man. Not that he had said a word about it, but she was a cleverPrincess, and she had seen how he picked up the jasmine flower she letfell, and kissed it when she pretended she wasn't looking, and hepretended he didn't know she was. Of course, she had been in love withhim ever since they met, and their eyes met, and their hands. She toldherself it was because he had saved her life, but that wasn't the realreason at all.

  So, being quite sure, she began to be careful.

  'Since he really loves me he'll find a way to tell me so, right out.It's his part, not mine, to make everything possible,' she said.

  As for Florizel, he was quite happy. He saw her every day, and every daywhen he took his place in his lift there was a fresh jasmine flowerlying on the satin cushion. And he pinned it into his buttonhole andwore it there all day, and thought of his lady, and of how that firstwonderful day she had dropped a jasmine flower, and how he had picked itup when she pretended she was not looking, and he was pretending that hedid not know she was. But all the same he wanted to know exactly howthat jasmine flower came there every day, and whose hand brought it. Itmight be the youngest lady-in-waiting, but Florizel didn't think so.

  So he went to the palace one morning bright and early, much earlier thanusual, and there was no jasmine flower. Then he hid behind one of thewhite velvet window-curtains of the corridor and waited. And, presently,who should come stealing along on the tips of her pink toes--so as tomake no noise at all--but the Princess herself, fresh as the morning ina white muslin frock with a silver ribbon round her darling waist, anda bunch of jasmine at her neck. She took one of the jasmine flowers andkissed it and laid it on the white satin seat of the lift, and when shestepped back there was the Lift-man.

  'Oh!' said Candida, and blushed like a child that is caught in mischief.

  'Oh!' said Florizel, and he picked up the jasmine and kissed it manytimes.

  'Why do you do that?' said the Princess.

  'Because you did,' said the Prince. 'I saw you. Do you want to go onpretending any more?'

  The Princess did not know what to say, so she said nothing.

  Florizel came and stood quite close to her.

  'I used to wish I was a Prince,' he said, 'but I don't now. I'd ratherbe an engineer. If I'd been a Prince I should never have seen you.'

  'I don't want you to be a bit different,' said the Princess. And shestooped to smell the jasmine in his buttonhole.

  'So we're betrothed,' said Florizel.

  'Are we?' said Candida.

  'Aren't we?' he said.

  'Well, yes, I suppose we are,' said she.

  'Very well, then,' said Florizel, and he kissed the Princess.

  'You're sure you don't mind marrying an engineer?' he said, when she hadkissed him back.

  'Of course not,' said the Princess.

  'Then I'll buy the ring,' said he, and kissed her again.

  Then she gave him the rest of the jasmine, with a kiss for each star,and he gave her a little keepsake in return, and they parted.

  'My heart is yours,' said Florizel, 'and my life is in your hands.'

  'My life is yours,' said she, 'and my heart is in your heart.'

  Now, I am sorry to say that somebody had been listening all the timebehind another curtain, and when the Princess had gone to her breakfastand the Lift-man had gone down in his lift, this somebody came out andsaid, 'Aha!'

  It was a wicked, ugly, disagreeable, snub-nosed page-boy, who would haveliked to marry the Princess himself. He had really no chance, and nevercould have had, because his father was only a rich brewer. But he felthimself to be much superior to a lift-man. And he was the kind of boywho always sneaks if he has half a chance. So he went and told the Kingthat he had seen the Princess kissing the Lift-man in the morning allbright and early.

  The King said he was a lying hound, and put him in prison at once formentioning such a thing--which served him right.

  Then the King thought it best to find out for himself whether thesnub-nosed page-boy had spoken the truth.

  So he watched in the morning all bright and early, and he saw thePrincess come stealing along on the tips of her little pink toes, andthe lift (Argentinella design) came up, and the Lift-man in it. And thePrincess gave him kissed jasmine to put in his buttonhole.

  So the King jumped out on them and startled them dreadfully. AndFlorizel was locked up in prison, and the Princess was locked up in herroom with only the eldest lady-in-waiting to keep her company. And thePrincess cried all day and all night. And she managed to hide thekeepsake the Prince had given her. She hid it in a little book ofverses. And the eldest lady saw her do it. Florizel was condemned to beexecuted for having wanted to marry someone so much above him instation. But when the axe fell on his neck the axe flew to pieces, andthe neck was not hurt at all. So they sent for another axe and triedagain. And again the axe splintered and flew. And when they picked upthe bits of the axe they had all turned to leaves of poetry books.

  So they put off the execution till next day.

  The gaoler told the snub-nosed page all about it when he took him hisdinner of green water and mouldering crusts.

  'Couldn't do the trick!' said the gaoler. 'Two axes broke off short andthe bits turned to rubbish. The executioner says the rascal has aCharmed Life.'

  'Of course he has,' said the ugly page, sniffing at the crusts with hissnub-nose. 'I know all about that, but I shan't tell unless the Kinggives me a free pardon and something fit to eat. Roast pork and onionstuffing, I think. And you can tell him so.'

  So the gaoler told the King. And the King gave the snub-nosed page thepardon and the pork, and then the page said:

  'He has a Charmed Life. I heard him tell the Princess so. And what ismore, he gave it to her to keep. And she said she'd hide it in a safeplace!'

  Then the King told the eldest lady-in-waiting to watch, and she didwatch, and saw the Princess take Florizel's Charmed L
ife and hide it ina bunch of jasmine. So she took the jasmine and gave it to the King, andhe burnt it. But the Princess had not left the Life in the jasmine.

  Then they tried to hang Florizel, because, of course, he had an ordinarylife as well as a charmed one, and the King wished him to be without anylife at all.

  Thousands of people crowded to see the presumptuous Lift-man hanged, andthe execution lasted the whole morning, and seven brand new ropes werewasted one after the other, and they all left off being ropes and turnedinto long wreaths of jasmine, which broke into bits rather than hangsuch a handsome Lift-man.

  The King was furious. But he was not too furious to see that thePrincess must have taken the Charmed Life out from the jasmine flowers,and put it somewhere else, when the eldest lady was not looking.

  And it turned out afterwards that the Princess had held Florizel's lifein her hand all the time the execution was going on. The eldestlady-in-waiting was clever, but she was not so clever as the Princess.

  The next morning the eldest lady brought the Princess's silver mirror tothe King.

  'The Charmed Life is in that, your Majesty,' she said. 'I saw thePrincess put it in.'

  And so she had, but she had not seen the Princess take it out againalmost directly afterwards.

  The King smashed the looking-glass, and gave orders that poor Florizelwas to be drowned in the palace fishpond.

  So they tied big stones to his hands and feet and threw him in. And thestones changed to corks and held him up, and he swam to land, and whenthey arrested him as he landed they found that on each of the corksthere was a beautiful painting of Candida's face, as she saw it everymorning in her mirror.

  Now, the King and Queen of Bohemia, Florizel's father and mother, hadgone to Margate for a fortnight's holiday.

  'We will have a thorough holiday,' said the King; 'we will forget theworld, and not even look at a newspaper.'

  But on the third day they both got tired of forgetting the world, andeach of them secretly bought a newspaper and read it on the beach, andeach rushed back and met the other on the steps of the boarding-housewhere they were staying. And the Queen began to cry, and the King tookher in his arms on the doorstep, to the horror of the other boarders,who were looking out of the windows at them; and then they rushed off tothe railway station, leaving behind them their luggage and theastonished boarders, and took a special train to town. Because the Kinghad read in his newspaper, and the Queen in hers, that the Lift-man wasbeing executed every morning from nine to twelve; and though, so far,none of the executions had ended fatally, yet at any moment the Prince'sCharmed Life might be taken, and then there would be an end of the dailyexecutions--a very terrible end.

  Arrived at the capital, the poor Queen of Bohemia got into a hansom withthe King, and they were driven to the palace. The palace-yard wascrowded.

  'What is the matter?' the King of Bohemia asked.

  'It's that Lift-man,' said a bystander, with spectacles and a straw hat;'he has as many lives as a cat. They tried boiling oil this morning, andthe oil turned into white-rose leaves, and the fire under it turned toa white-rose bush. And now the King has sent for Princess Candida, andis going to have it out with her. The whole thing has been mostexciting.'

  'I should think so,' said the Lift-man's father.

  'Of course,' said the bystander in spectacles, 'everyone who has readany history knows that Lift-men don't have charmed lives. But our Kingnever would learn history, so he doesn't see that of course the Lift-manis a Prince disguised. The question is, Will he find out in time? Ican't think why the Lift-man doesn't own his Princishness, and have donewith it.'

  'Perhaps he doesn't know it himself,' said the King of Bohemia.

  He gave his arm to his wife, and they managed to squeeze through to thegreat council hall, where the King of that country sat on his goldthrone, surrounded by lords-in-waiting, judges in wigs, and other peoplein other things.

  Florizel was there loaded with chains, and standing in a very nobleattitude at one corner of the throne steps. At the other stood thePrincess, looking across at her lover with her dear gray eyes.

  'Now,' said the King, 'I am tired of diplomacy and tact, and the eldestlady-in-waiting is less of a Sherlock Holmes than I thought her, so letus be straightforward and honest. Have you got a Charmed Life?'

  'I haven't exactly got it,' said Florizel. 'My life is not my own now.'

  'Did he give it to you?' the King asked his daughter.

  'I cannot tell a lie, father,' said the Princess, just as though hername had been George Washington instead of Candida; 'he did give it tome.'

  'What have you done with it?'

  'I have hidden it in different places. I have saved it; he saved mineonce.'

  'Where is it?' asked her father, 'as you so justly observe you cannottell a lie.'

  'If I tell you,' said the Princess, 'will you give your Royal word thatthe execution you have ordered for this morning shall be really thelast? You can destroy the object that I have hidden his Charmed Life in,and then you can destroy him. But you must promise me not to ask me tohide his Life in any new place, because I am tired of hide-and-seek.'

  All the judges and lords-in-waiting and people felt really sorry forthe Princess, for they thought all these executions had turned herbrain.

  'I give you my Royal word,' said the King upon his throne. 'I won't askyou to hide his Life any more. Indeed, I was against the practice fromthe first. Now, where have you hidden his Life?'

  'In my heart,' said the Princess, brave and clear, so that everyoneheard her in the big hall. 'You can't take his Life without taking mine,and if you take mine you may as well take his, for he won't care to goon living without me.'

  She sprang across the throne steps to Florizel, and his fetters jangledas she threw her arms round him.

  'Dear me!' said the King, rubbing his nose with his sceptre; 'this isvery awkward.'

  The Princess laughed happily.

  'Oh, my clever Princess,' whispered Florizel; 'you're as clever asyou're dear, and as dear as you're beautiful.'

  There was a silence.

  'Well, really,' said the King, 'I don't quite see----'

  The father and mother of Florizel had wriggled and wormed their waythrough the crowd to a front place, and now the father spoke.

  'Your Majesty, allow me. Perhaps I can assist your decision.'

  'Oh, all right,' said the King upon his throne; 'go ahead. I'm struckall of a heap.'

  'You see before you,' said the King of Bohemia, 'one known to the worldof science and of business as R. Bloomsbury, inventor and patenter ofmany mechanical novelties--among others the Patent Lightning Lift--nowformed into a company of which I am the chairman. The youngLift-man--whose fetters are most clumsily designed, if you will pardonmy saying so--is my son.'

  'Of course he's somebody's son,' said the King upon his throne.

  'Well, he happens to be mine, and I gather that you do not think him agood enough match for your daughter.'

  'Without wishing to hurt your feelings----' began Candida's father.

  'Exactly. Well, know, O King on your throne, and everyone else, thatthis young Lift-man is no other than Florizel, Prince of Bohemia. I amthe King of Bohemia, and this is my Queen.'

  As he spoke he took his crown out of his pocket and put it on. His wifetook off her bonnet and got her crown out of her reticule and put thaton, and Florizel's crown was handed to the Princess, who fitted it onfor him, because his hands were awkward with chains.

  'Your most convincing explanation alters everything,' said the King uponhis throne, and he came down to meet the visitors. 'Bless you, mychildren! Strike off his chains, can't you? I hope there's noill-feeling, Florizel,' he added, turning to the Prince; 'you see, anengineer is only an engineer, whereas a Prince is a Prince, be he neverso disinherited. Will half an hour from now suit you for the wedding?'

  So they were married, and they still live very happily. They will liveas long as is good for them, and when Candida dies Floriz
el will dietoo, because she still carries his Life in her heart.