Much Ado About Nothing (Arden Shakespeare: Third Series)

by William Shakespeare

  Leonato. Hath the fellow any wit that told you this?

  1.2.1 cousin kinsman

  5 they i.e., the news (plural in the sixteenth century)

  6 As the events stamps them as the outcome proves them to be (a plural noun, especially when felt to be singular often has a verb ending in -s)

  8-9 thick-pleached alley in mine orchard walk or arbor fenced by interwoven branches in my garden

  10 discovered disclosed

  13 accordant agreeing

  14 top forelock

  Antonio. A good sharp fellow. I will send for him, and question him yourself.

  Leonato. No, no. We will hold it as a dream till it appear itself. But I will acquaint my daughter withal, that she may be the better prepared for an answer, if peradventure this be true. Go you and tell her of it.

  [Enter Attendants.]

  Cousin, you know what you have to do. O, I cry you mercy,deg friend. Go you with me, and I will use your skill. Good cousin, have a care this busy time.

  Exeunt.

  [Scene 3. Leonato's house.]

  Enter Sir John the Bastard and Conrade, his

  companion.

  Conrade. What the goodyear,deg my lord! Why are you thus out of measure sad?deg

  Don John. There is no measure in the occasion that breeds; therefore the sadness is without limit.

  Conrade. You should hear reason.

  Don John. And when I have heard it, what blessing brings it?

  Conrade. If not a present remedy, at least a patient sufferance.

  Don John. I wonder that thou, being (as thou say'st thou art) born under Saturn,deg goest about to apply a moral medicine to a mortifying mischief.deg I cannot hide what I am. I must be sad when I have cause, and smile at no man's jests; eat when I have stomach, and wait for no man's leisure; sleep when I am drowsy, and tend on no man's business; laugh when I am merry, and claw no man in his humor.deg

  23-24 cry you mercy beg your pardon

  1.3.1 What the goodyear (an expletive)

  2 out of measure sad unduly morose

  11 under Saturn i.e., naturally sullen

  Conrade. Yea, but you must not make the full show of this till you may do it without controlment. You have of late stood out against your brother, and he hath ta'en you newly into his grace, where it is impossible you should take true root but by the fair weather that you make yourself. It is needful that you framedeg the season for your own harvest.

  Don John. I had rather be a cankerdeg in a hedge than a rose in his grace, and it better fits my blood to be disdained of all than to fashion a carnagedeg to rob love from any. In this, though I cannot be said to be a flattering honest man, it must not be denied but I am a plain-dealing villain. I am trusted with a muzzle and enfranchised with a clog; therefore I have decreed not to sing in my cage. If I had my mouth, I would bite; if I had my liberty, I would do my liking. In the meantime let me be that I am, and seek not to alter me.

  Conrade. Can you make no use of your discontent?

  Don John. I make all use of it, for I use it only. Who comes here?

  Enter Borachio.

  What news, Borachio?

  Borachio. I came yonder from a great supper. The Prince your brother is royally entertained by Leonato, and I can give you intelligencedeg of an intended marriage.

  12 mortifying mischief killing calamity

  17 claw no man in his humor i.e., flatter no man (claw=pat or scratch on the back; humor = whim)

  24 frame bring about

  25 canker wild rose

  27 fashion a carriage contrive a behavior

  42 intelligence information

  Don John. Will it serve for any model to build mischief on? What is he for a fool that betroths himself to unquietness?

  Borachio. Marry,deg it is your brother's right hand.

  Don John. Who? The most exquisite Claudio?

  Borachio. Even he.

  Don John. A proper squire!deg And who? And who? Which way looks he?

  Borachio. Marry, one Hero, the daughter and heir of Leonato.

  Don John. A very forward March-chick!deg How came you to this?

  Borachio. Being entertained fordeg a perfumer, as I was smokingdeg a musty room, comes me the Prince and Claudio, hand in hand in saddeg conference. I whipped me behind the arras and there heard it agreed upon that the Prince should woo Hero for himself, and having obtained her, give her to Count Claudio.

  Don John. Come, come, let us thither. This may prove food to my displeasure. That young start-up hath all the glory of my overthrow. If I can cross him any way, I bless myself every way. You are both sure,deg and will assist me?

  Conrade. To the death, my lord.

  Don John. Let us to the great supper. Their cheer is the greater that I am subdued. Would the cook were o' my mind! Shall we go provedeg what's to be done?

  Borachio. We'll wait upon your lordship.

  Exit [with others].

  47 Marry (an expletive, from "by the Virgin Mary")

  50 proper squire fine young fellow

  54 forward March-chick precocious fellow (i.e., born in early spring)

  56 entertained for employed as

  57 smoking fumigating (or possibly merely perfuming)

  58 sad serious 66 sure reliable

  70 prove try

  [ACT 2

  Scene 1. Leonato's house.]

  Enter Leonato, his brother [Antonio], Hero his

  daughter, and Beatrice his niece, [also Margaret

  and Ursula].

  Leonato. Was not Count John here at supper?

  Antonio. I saw him not.

  Beatrice. How tartly that gentleman looks! I never can see him but I am heartburned an hour after.

  Hero. He is of a very melancholydeg disposition.

  Beatrice. He were an excellent man that were made just in the midway between him and Benedick. The one is too like an image and says nothing, and the other too like my lady's eldest son,deg evermore tattling.

  Leonato. Then half Signior Benedick's tongue in Count John's mouth, and half Count John's melancholy in Signior Benedick's face--

  Beatrice. With a good leg and a good foot,deg uncle, and money enough in his purse, such a man would win any woman in the world, if 'a could get her good will.

  2.1.5 melancholy ill-tempered

  9 eldest son i.e., overly confident (as heir presumptive)

  14 foot (perhaps with a pun on French foutre, to coputate--i.e., a good lover)

  Leonato. By my troth, niece, thou wilt never get thee a husband if thou be so shrewddeg of thy tongue.

  Antonio. In faith, she's too curst.deg

  Beatrice. Too curst is more than curst. I shall lessen God's sending that way, for it is said, "God sends a curst cow short horns"; but to a cow too curst he sends none.

  Leonato. So, by being too curst, God will send you no homs.deg

  Beatrice. Just,deg if he send me no husband; for the which blessing I am at him upon my knees every morning and evening. Lord, I could not endure a husband with a beard on his face. I had rather lie in the woolen!deg

  Leonato. You may light on a husband that hath no beard.

  Beatrice. What should I do with him? Dress him in my apparel and make him my waiting gentlewoman? He that hath a beard is more than a youth, and he that hath no beard is less than a man; and he that is more than a youth is not for me; and he that is less than a man, I am not for him. Therefore I will even take sixpence in earnestdeg of the befforddeg and lead his apes into hell.deg

  Leonato. Well then, go you into hell?

  Beatrice. No; but to the gate, and there will the devil meet me like an old cuckold with horns on his head, and say, "Get you to heaven, Beatrice, get you to heaven. Here's no place for you maids." So deliver I up my apes, and away to Saint Peter. For the heavens, he shows me where the bachelorsdeg sit, and there live we as merry as the day is long.

  19 shrewd sharp

  20 curst shrewish

  25-26 no horns (i.e., horn used as phallic
symbol, as Beatrice's next remark makes plain).

  27 just exactly

  31 in the woolen between scratchy blankets

  40 in earnest (1) advance payment (2) in all seriousness

  40 berrord bearward, animal keeper

  41 lead his apes into hell traditional punishment for dying unwed

  Antonio. [To Hero] Well, niece, I trust you will be ruled by your father.

  Beatrice. Yes, faith. It is my cousin's duty to make cursydeg and say, "Father, as it please you." But yet for all that, cousin, let him be a handsome fellow, or else make another cursy, and say, "Father, as it please me."

  Leonato. [To Beatrice] Well, niece, I hope to see you one day fitteddeg with a husband.

  Beatrice. Not till God make men of some other metaldeg than earth. Would it not grieve a woman to be overmastered with a piece of valiant dust? To make an account of her life to a clod of wayward marl?deg No, uncle, I'll none. Adam's sons are my brethren, and truly I hold it a sin to match in my kindred.

  Leonato. Daughter, remember what I told you. If the Prince do solicit you in that kind, you know your answer.

  Beatrice. The fault will be in the music, cousin, if you be not wooed in good time. If the Prince be too important,deg tell him there is measuredeg in everything, and so dance out the answer. For, hear me, Hero: wooing, wedding, and repenting is as a Scotch jig, a measure, and a cinquepace.deg The first suit is hot and hasty like a Scotch jig (and full as fantastical); the wedding, mannerly modest, as a measure, full of state and ancientry; and then comes Repentance and with his bad legs falls into the cinquepace faster and faster, till he sink into his grave.

  48 bachelors unwed persons (female as well as male)

  53 cursy curtsy

  58 fitted (continues playful sexual innuendo of the scene)

  59 metal substance

  62 marl earth

  70 important importunate

  70 measure (1) dis cemible time sequence (2) moderation (the entire speech is a light parody of Sir John Davies' Orchestra. A Poem of Dancing [1596]; cf. stanza 23: "Time the measure of all moving is/And dancing is a moving all in measure")

  73 cinquepace lively dance

  Leonato. Cousin, you apprehend passing shrewdly.

  Beatrice. I have a good eye, uncle; I can see a church by daylight.

  Leonato. The revelers are ent'ring, brother. Make good room.

  [All put on their masks.]

  Enter Prince [Don] Pedro, Claudio, and Bene-

  dick, and Balthasar [masked; and without masks

  Borachio and] Don John.

  Don Pedro. Lady, will you walk about with your friend?deg

  Hero. So you walk softly and look sweetly and say nothing, I am yours for the walk; and especially when I walk away.

  Don Pedro. With me in your company?

  Hero. I may say so when I please.

  Don Pedro. And when please you to say so?

  Hero. When I like your favor,deg for God defenddeg the lute should be like the case!deg

  Don Pedro. My visordeg is Philemon'sdeg roof; within the house is Jove.

  Hero. Why then, your visor should be thatched.

  Don Pedro. Speak low if you speak love.

  [Draws her aside.]

  Benedick. deg Well, I would you did like me.

  86 friend lover

  93 favor face

  93 defend forbid

  93-94 the lute ... case i.e., your face be as ugly as your mask

  95 visor mask

  95 Philemon peasant who entertained Jove in his house

  99 Benedick (many beditors emend the Quarto, and give this and Benedick's two subsequent speeches to Balthasar; but in 5.2 Benedick and Margaret spar, and they may well do so here)

  Margaret. So would not I for your own sake, for I have many ill qualities.

  Benedick. Which is one?

  Margaret. I say my prayers aloud.

  Benedick. I love you the better. The hearers may cry amen.

  Margaret. God match me with a good dancer!

  Balthasar. [Interposing] Amen.

  Margaret. And God keep him out of my sight when the dance is done! Answer, clerk.

  Balthasar. No more words. The clerk is answered.

  Ursula. I know you well enough. You are Signior Antonio.

  Antonio. At a word, I am not.

  Ursula. I know you by the wagglingdeg of your head.

  Antonio. To tell you true, I counterfeit him.

  Ursula. You could never do him so ill-well unless you were the very man. Here's his drydeg hand up and down. You are he, you are he!

  Antonio. At a word I am not.

  Ursula. Come, come, do you think I do not know you by your excellent wit? Can virtue hide itself? Go to, mum, you are he. Graces will appear, and there's an end.

  Beatrice. Will you not tell me who told you so?

  Benedick. No, you shall pardon me.

  Beatrice: Nor will you not tell me who you are?

  Benedick. Not now.

  Beatrice. That I was disdainful, and that I had my good wit out of the "Hundred Merry Tales."deg Well, this was Signior Benedick that said so.

  114 waggling i.e., palsy

  117 dry dried-up (with age)

  Benedick. What's he?

  Beatrice. I am sure you know him well enough.

  Benedick. Not I, believe me.

  Beatrice. Did he never make you laugh?

  Benedick. I pray you, what is he?

  Beatrice. Why, he is the Prince's jester, a very dull fool. Only hisdeg gift is in devising impossible slanders. None but libertines delight in him, and the commendation is not in his wit, but in his villainy; for he both pleases men and angers them, and then they laugh at him and beat him. I am sure he is in the fleet;deg I would he had boarded me.

  Benedick. When I know the gentleman, I'll tell him what you say.

  Beatrice. Do, do. He'll but break a comparison or two on me; which peradventure (not marked or not laughed at), strikes him into melancholy, and then there's a partridge wing saved, for the fool will eat no supper that night. [Music.] We must follow the leaders.

  Benedick. In every good thing.

  Beatrice. Nay, if they lead to any ill, I will leave them at the next turning.

  Dance. Exeunt [all except Don John,

  Borachio and Claudio].

  Don John. Sure my brother is amorous on Hero and hath withdrawn her father to break with him about it. The ladies follow her and but one visor remains.

  129 Hundred Merry Tales a popular collection of amusing, coarse anecdotes

  137 Only his his only

  142 fleet group (the related meaning, group of ships, leads to boarded me, but perhaps too there is an allusion to Fleet Prison)

  Borachio. And that is Claudio. I know him by his bearing.

  Don John. Are not you Signior Benedick?

  Claudio. You know me well. I am he.

  Don John. Signior, you are very near my brother in his love. He is enamored on Hero. I pray you dissuade him from her; she is no equal for his birth. You may do the part of an honest man in it.

  Claudio. How know you he loves her?

  Don John. I heard him swear his affection.

  Borachio. So did I too, and he swore he would marry her tonight.

  Don John. Come, let us to the banquet.deg

  Exeunt. Manet Claudio.

  Claudio. Thus answer I in name of Benedick But hear these ill news with the ears of Claudio. 'Tis certain so. The Prince woos for himself. Friendship is constant in all other things Save in the officedeg and affairs of love. Therefore all hearts in love use their own tongues; Let every eye negotiate for itself And trust no agent; for beauty is a witch Against whose charms faith melteth into blood.deg This is an accident of hourly proof,deg Which I mistrusted not. Farewell therefore Hero!

  Enter Benedick.

  Benedick. Count Claudio?

  Claudio. Yea, the same.

  Benedick. Come, will you go with me?

  169 banquet li
ght meal, or course, of fruit, wine, and dessert

  174 office business

  178 blood passion, desire

  179 accident of hourly proof common happening

  Claudio. Whither?

  Benedick. Even to the nextdeg willow,deg about your own business, County.deg What fashion will you wear the garland of? About your neck, like an usurer's chain? Or under your arm, like a lieutenant's scarf? You must wear it one way, for the Prince hath got your Hero.

  Claudio. I wish him joy of her.

  Benedick. Why, that's spoken like an honest drovier.deg So they sell bullocks. But did you think the Prince would have served you thus?

  Claudio. I pray you leave me.

  Benedick. Ho! Now you strike like the blind man! 'Twas the boy that stole your meat, and you'll beat the post.deg

  Claudio. If it will not be, I'll leave you. Exit.

  Benedick. Alas, poor hurt fowl! Now will he creep into sedges. But, that my Lady Beatrice should know me, and not know me! The Prince's fool! Ha! It may be I go under that title because I am merry. Yea, but so I am apt to do myself wrong. I am not so reputed. It is the base (though bitter) disposi tion of Beatrice that puts the world into her person and so gives me out.deg Well, I'll be revenged as I may.

  Enter the Prince [Don Pedro], Hero, Leonato.

  Don Pedro. Now, signior, where's the Count? Did you see him?

  Benedick. Troth, my lord, I have played the part of Lady Fame.deg I found him here as melancholy as a lodge in a warren.deg I told him, and I think I told him true, that your Grace had got the good will of this young lady, and I off red him my company to a willow tree, either to make him a garland, as being forsaken, or to bind him up a rod, as being worthy to be whipped.

  185 next nearest

  185 willow symbol of unrequited love

  186 County Count 192 drovier cattle dealer

  197-98 beat the post i.e., strike out blindly

  205-07 It is ... gives me out it is the low and harsh disposition of Beatrice to assume her opinion of me is the world's opinion of me

  212 Lady Fame goddess of rumor

  Don Pedro. To be whipped? What's his fault?

  Benedick. The flat transgression of a schoolboy who, being overjoyed with finding a bird's nest, shows it his companion, and he steals it.

  Don Pedro. Wilt thou make a trust a transgression? The transgression is in the stealer.

  Benedick. Yet it had not been amiss the rod had been made, and the garland too; for the garland he might have worn himself, and the rod he might have bestowed on you, who (as I take it) have stol'n his bird's nest.