Promise Me Forever (Top Shelf Romance)

by Kate Stewart

  “So bad. It was so bad. I really don’t know how my parents survived me,” I said with wide eyes. “I broke the clock.” I let out a sigh. “And you know what my father did?”

  Nate took a step forward. “What, Stella?” He was close, so close, and I didn’t back away. Instead, I leaned forward. “Nothing. He didn’t yell or get angry. I saw it, though, the sadness. It was one of the last pieces of her. He just picked it back up, put it on the shelf, and told me to keep dancing.”

  “Sounds like a good man.”

  “I felt so bad,” I said as Nate brushed my hair behind my shoulder.

  “It was a clock and you were okay.”

  “That’s what he said. That’s exactly what he said.” I stared at Nate.

  “That’s what I’d be thinking,” he said softly.

  I gripped the arm that lingered on my shoulder and leaned in further. We were close, so close. With the book in my other hand, I stared up into indigo blue, willing him forward, my eyes closing. Seconds passed, then more.

  “Do you like football?”

  I jerked away slightly and studied his lips, wondering why they weren’t on mine.

  “Football.”

  “Tomorrow.”

  “Tomorrow,” I parroted, staring at the full lips grinning down at me.

  “Okay, I’ll pick you up at three,” Nate said as he took the book and looked down at the cover.

  “You’ve read it?”

  “Stella,” he said, his whisper touching my lips. “I fucking lived in these pages for weeks.”

  “Oh,” I said, discouraged. “I was hoping to give you something new.”

  “You did,” he said without missing a beat before his lips drifted to my ear. “Tomorrow.”

  “Today.”

  “Today,” he agreed, taking the offered book anyway and giving me a sexy wink before disappearing from my view.

  “’Night.”

  For a few solid minutes, I didn’t feel guilty. Not about the fact that I didn’t think about Reid when I was with Nate. Or the fact that I offered him my time, or my lips. They belonged to me.

  Reid’s silence told me so.

  But there was one thing that had me twisting in my sheets as my mind followed. I wanted Nate to kiss me.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Clumsy: Fergie

  I woke up late afternoon that Saturday to find Lexi still wasn’t home. I shot off a quick text to her.

  I miss you.

  Lexi: Come to the show tonight.

  Okay.

  Lexi: Really?

  Yeah. I’m sorry.

  Lexi: Don’t be. I’ll see you tonight.

  I struck out early with a long list of to-dos and was halfway through them when I remembered I’d agreed to a football game with Nate. I glanced at the clock on my iPod and ran the last three blocks home like I was being chased.

  Behind my front door, I looked at the cheap Roman numeral clock in our living room.

  “SHIT!”

  I had ten minutes.

  I jumped into the shower and was shaving my legs when I heard the pound from the door. I wrapped a towel around myself and hustled down the hall. Nate stood on the other side wearing his game day gear. Sunglasses propped on his head, he wore a solid gray hoodie with Texas written across it in burnt orange. I couldn’t concentrate on much else but the chill running down my spine as his eyes lit fire at the sight of me soaking wet in a towel with shaving cream running down my legs.

  “I’m sorry. I can be ready in ten minutes,” I promised before I pulled him inside and shut the door. He leaned against it with his arms crossed, softly knocking his head against the back of it.

  “Is that okay?”

  “Oh, that’s fine, Stella,” he said as his jaw ticked. “What’s not fine is I’m going to be hard for the next four fucking hours.”

  He was brazen and unashamed of his attraction . . . and I loved it.

  I took the time to do an assessment of my own and decided I loved the way he looked in everything. There wasn’t a piece of clothing the man owned that could tarnish him.

  “I brought you a sweatshirt. Had a feeling your wardrobe was lacking something collegiate.” Without warning, he yanked me toward him. I gasped as his mouth brushed my cheek before he whispered. “Let’s see if it fits.” He lifted my arms and my towel fell. He kept his eyes trained on mine as he bunched the shirt up and slipped it over my head. I pushed my arms through, fully turned on. I was freezing and the material was uncomfortable against my wet skin. My hair was dripping and I really wanted to wash off my legs. But all of that fell away as we stood staring at each other on the edge of consumption. My center throbbed as he ran his fingers through my wet hair, untangling it. The sweatshirt hung at my thighs and Nate exhaled mint-laced breath and let his eyes drift down. His dark blond lashes my focal point as my chest heaved. “Looks like it’s too big,” he said, his disappointment muffled by his desire.

  “I think it’s perfect,” I whispered as I leaned forward and kissed his cheek. “Thank you.”

  “You’re a cruel woman,” he said in a half groan, his eyes playful.

  “I’m sorry.”

  Those words hit close to home coming from my mouth, and I stepped away. “Give me ten minutes.”

  “Sure,” he said as I walked toward my bathroom. I looked over my shoulder to find him standing at the door with his fists clenched, his gaze a tumultuous ocean. I loved the effect I had. I loved the way I looked on him. I was covered in his smell—woods and ocean. Behind my bathroom door, I stared at myself in the mirror. It was one of his sweatshirts, which I found sexy as hell. He knew it would cover me as soon as I was cloaked in it, and didn’t get the eyeful he’d so patiently earned. He was trying his best to temper the attraction between us, while I was playing with blue flames. But why?

  I knew why. He knew why.

  In the shower, I scolded myself for being so careless. I’d started such a screwed up pattern. Reckless with my heart, my emotions. One man to another . . . and then another. I palmed my face, disgusted.

  As much as I wanted to feed the chemistry I felt at my door, I was doing us both an injustice. I wasn’t ready . . . yet. And we both knew it.

  I had to break the cycle; though I was sure I didn’t have it in me to feel the way I felt about the man I wanted to remember me.

  Still, Nate deserved better. I deserved better.

  Walking out fully dressed fifteen minutes later, I met Nate at the couch.

  “Nate—”

  “It’s a good thing your boss is older and has been there.”

  A breath of relief.

  He pulled me into his lap.

  “You look good dressed in me.”

  “Nate, it’s not that I don’t want—”

  “Shhhh,” he said as he ran his finger through my hair. “Anticipation, Stella, I’m game. I’ve already been waiting for months. What’s a few more? But we’re not stopping this.”

  He linked our hands together. “Because I’ll be damned if I let you forget that I’m waiting. I want you to get used to these hands, these arms, this lap. We’ll be around a while. If it happens, it will happen naturally, and we’ll make our own story. If it doesn’t, I’ve got you with me now, and I’m good with that.”

  A solid wall of blue was shattering my resolve, breaking my defenses, threatening to bypass the lock and snap the chain. “I’m sorry.”

  “For what?” he asked, leaning in to brush a kiss against my temple. “I’m the one who pushed for this. Who keeps pushing for this. And I have good reason, Stella. Reasons I’ll tell you if the day ever comes. But I had to check myself. You and me,” he said softly as he trailed a finger down my jawline, “we’re good. Let’s leave this conversation here and revisit later, alright?”

  I nodded.

  “GO!” I screamed at the top of my Latina lungs, jumping next to Nate, who was on his feet yelling the same.

  “Oh my God, this is so exciting!” I yelled at Nate, who watched m
e with gentle eyes. We’d been tailgating all day with a group of his friends, including Marcus, who I met at the concert. We watched from nosebleed seats in the sea of burnt orange. I was buzzed from the shared nips of whiskey and a few beers, and stuffed from the grilled buffet they’d provided. I got introduced to his smaller circle, which consisted of Gabe and Marcus, who sat to Nate’s right. They enlightened me on all things Butler. They told stories that consisted mostly of revealing Nate’s weaknesses. Nate took it in his stride. I felt like one of the guys, and Marcus and Gabe were just as driven and direct as Nate. It felt like I had found my tribe, and oh how I celebrated.

  After the Longhorns scored against Kansas State, I shared a fist bump with Gabe, who was within celebratory distance, then wrapped my arms around Nate’s stomach and squeezed.

  I felt his chest rumble. “So, today you like football? Because last night I didn’t think you were sure.”

  “This. Is. Awesome!” I want to come to every home game,” I stated as I pulled away.

  He gave me his sexy signature wink before he slid his sunglasses over his eyes and I studied his profile.

  We’ll make our own story.

  It was the best thing he could have said without a script of “Things to say to Stella to make her feel unforgettable.” The idea of us drifted through my head briefly before I sank back into the game, enthralled and screaming like a banshee.

  “I needed this so much,” I yelled toward Nate before I took a fresh beer Marcus passed down. I pulled ten dollars from my pocket and Marcus shook his head adamantly.

  “Hell no, you pay when you get a real writing gig away from this slob,” Marcus protested as Nate gave him the finger without so much as looking in his direction. My teeth were freezing from the perma-smile on my face.

  “Thank you!” I took the beer and absorbed my surroundings. I was a journalism student at the University of Texas. I was working at a city paper. The Longhorns were my team. Classmates surrounded me and I hadn’t bothered to interact with a single one.

  This is where you move on, Stella.

  After the game, Nate carried me over his shoulder as I giggled, completely giddy and a little drunk.

  “I can walk, you know,” I protested as the beer sloshed in my stomach with Nate’s every step. I smacked his butt with the foam finger I’d confiscated from Gabe.

  “Yeah, well, you were getting a little fucking feisty back there, Stella.”

  I laughed. “You don’t like it when I show my Latina.”

  “Oh, I promise you,” he slapped back, popping both my ass cheeks as I let out a squeal, “I like all your sides, but you almost got my ass kicked back there.”

  “He did look like Bushwick Bill from the Geto Boys.”

  “Bushwick Bill is a midget, not a four-hundred-pound man with prison tattoos.”

  “In the face, I meant in the face. I don’t know why he found that offensive. And the correct term is little person.”

  “He’s three feet tall with a jacked-up eye, that’s why it was offensive. Bushwick is a midget.”

  His truck beeped and he set me down in front of it. My face was frozen. I was sure my eyelashes were stuck together and my nose was running. I wiped it away with the cuff of his shirt.

  “That shirt now belongs to you.”

  “I was planning on keeping it anyway.”

  “Butler!” Gabe said, approaching us. “You leaving, man?”

  “Yeah,” he said as he smiled down at me like I was shameless. He was right. I was warm all over, especially under gentle blue eyes.

  Gabe let down his tailgate and cracked a fresh beer from his cooler, and Marcus appeared out of nowhere, a woman by his side. We barely had time to meet her before Nate was stuffing me into his truck.

  “You ashamed of me?” I prodded Nate as I fought him, standing on the running boards of his Tahoe to blow a kiss at Gabe before I pointed my extended foam finger at Marcus. “You the man!”

  They laughed as I was stuffed into the seat and Nate managed to strap me in.

  “I’m perfectly capable of doing this myself. I’m not inebriated, Butler. I’m passionate!” I laughed at my own inside joke as he lifted one side of his mouth and let out a heavy breath.

  Rolling down the window, I decided I wasn’t done with my finger or my farewell. “You kids have fun.” I pointed in their direction. Nate gave them man hugs and soon we were off. I turned on Nate’s radio and “Just Dance” by Lady Gaga echoed out the speakers mid-song.

  “Oh, she’s good,” I said, shaking my shit in the passenger seat, playing maestro with my finger.

  Nate looked over at me. “You really needed to get out.”

  “Right,” I said, pointing our way through the parking lot. I pressed the tip of my finger into his face. “You’re going to take a left up here.” I barked out a laugh as Nate turned the heat up, his laugh echoing mine. Nate sped out of the parking lot in an attempt to miss traffic.

  “Why are we in such a hurry?” I asked as he easily navigated us out.

  “Didn’t you say you had a show tonight?”

  “Not going,” I said, putting my finger on the floor. “I’ve got a better idea.”

  He looked over at me and read my mind. “NO!”

  “YES!” I said, settling the matter.

  “Hell no. No way in hell. No.”

  “YES!”

  “No,” he said as he turned into my driveway with a chuckle, his protest fruitless.

  Xanadu.

  Hours later, I was jerked from sleep on the couch by Lexi’s shriek as she burst through our front door. “Stella!”

  Slightly hung over, I looked for Nate, who must have slipped out when I fell asleep. For a second, I got disheartened. It was all lighthearted play; at least I thought it was. I had forced him to watch Xanadu while I did commentary. I slapped my own forehead and grimaced.

  That nagging awareness I may need to apologize struck fast. The thickness of my tongue told me it may be the one responsible for his absence. That heavy feeling hit until I saw I had a note waiting from him on top of my foam finger with the game schedule printed on the back. It was the promise of another game. Lexi waited for my attention, and I gave her a sleepy smile. “What is it?” I asked, rubbing my eyes free from debris. She wanted my full attention, but I couldn’t shake the awareness of the man who left me covered in a warm blanket on the couch. He’d even cleaned the table and put all the Chinese food up. There was nothing about Nate Butler I didn’t like. Nothing.

  Lexi walked over to me and eyed my new sweatshirt as Ben burst through the door.

  “Did you tell her?”

  “No,” she answered quickly, throwing him a forced smile. Why was she faking smiles for Ben?

  “Why didn’t you show?” she asked with her arms crossed. She was irritated, and it took a lot to get her there. Still, I couldn’t miss the undertone of hurt. She had needed me.

  “I’m sorry. I was with Nate,” I said with a whiskey-coated throat. I needed a toothbrush. “I meant to come but I got too buzzed at the game.”

  Lexi looked me over. “You don’t like football.”

  “I do now. I’m not missing a game. You have got to come with me to one of them, so much fun!”

  Lexi said something under her breath about a clear schedule, and I leaned toward her with drawn brows.

  “What?”

  “They got signed,” Lexi said with an apprehensive smile.

  “Signed?” I looked to Ben, who nodded. Suddenly, their world seemed planets away. “The Sergeants got signed? By who?”

  “Sony,” Ben said with the most beautiful smile on his face as he looked over to me. “One of the scouts for Sony read an article about an up and coming band. I think we might owe her for part of it.”

  I was glad I was sitting. My heart was pounding wildly as I tried to absorb his words.

  “That scout said the girl who wrote it was in love with the band.”

  She wasn’t the only one.

  I could
feel Lexi’s heartbreak from feet away. I didn’t even have to look at her. She would kill me if I acknowledged it in front of him, so I concentrated on Ben. I sat on the couch in shock. “They read my article in Speak?”

  “That scout came out and saw us a few times. We submitted a demo we made in March. When he read your article, he drew it out of the pile. You made this happen, Stella.”

  “No,” I said, slowly standing. I felt like my heart would explode. I was playing off the emotions flying around the room.

  “Yes,” Ben said, taking a step forward.

  “March?” My attention snapped to Ben, fully focused.

  “But that would mean,” my heart began to pound as he slowly nodded. My lips trembled as I looked over to Lexi. “Reid.”

  “He was there tonight,” Lexi said carefully, her concern for me evident as her heart began to shed. “They all got signed.”

  Pushing all selfish thoughts away, I leapt over the couch and pulled Ben into a hug. “Oh my God, Ben! Oh my God!” He laughed and hugged me back. “I knew it.”

  “You called it,” he said with a laugh as I hugged him tighter. “Stella, if it wasn’t for that article, fuck knows what would have happened to us.”

  “Stop it,” I said with happy tears streaming down my face. “They signed you because you guys are amazing. It was never a question.”

  We both paused, the same thought flickering between us.

  “He’s going to be okay,” I whispered hoarsely.

  “He’s going to be better than okay. He’s going to rule.” I hugged him to me again.

  “King Crowne,” I whispered as he nodded into my shoulder. “Thank you.”

  “Damn, Stella, what can I say? We owe you. All of us.”

  “I may ask for a favor one day,” I said with a laugh. “So, where is he?” I pulled back and searched Ben’s eyes. “Rye, Adam?”

  “They’re back at the club celebrating.”

  I didn’t need any words. I had Reid’s.

  We were never supposed to happen.

  “Okay. It’s okay.”

  He was no longer a lingering ghost. He’d just evaporated. My heart opened the door and swept the rest of the hope out before slamming it shut.