Beautifully Broken Life (The Sutter Lake Series Book 2)

by Catherine Cowles

  I ran faster, pushing my muscles until they burned. An old cabin that looked on the verge of falling apart appeared around a bend in the road. At least a dozen SWAT team members milled around out front. I spotted Tuck heading towards me. I slowed my run, trying to catch my breath. “Where is she?”

  Tuck directed me towards the house, guiding me inside and up the stairs. “Walk is with her. But I need you to be quiet and make no sudden movements.”

  “What the fuck is going on?” I spit the words at him on a whispered growl.

  We reached the landing at the top of the stairs, and I froze. Tessa. Covered in blood. She cowered against a back wall, holding out some sort of stake. Her arm trembled.

  Tuck gripped my shoulder. “She’s in shock. She killed Abrams.” My heart spasmed in a mixture of pride and grief. Pride that my girl was so fucking strong, and grief that her tender heart would have to carry that burden. Tuck pressed on. “She won’t let anyone near her. Doesn’t recognize me or Walk. With all Tessa’s been through, we don’t want to have to restrain and incapacitate her.”

  My body locked. “No. Let me talk to her.”

  Tuck nodded. “Slow, okay? No sudden moves.”

  “Got it.” We headed towards the open door. I spared the body on the floor only a quick glance, then my gaze stayed fixed on Tessa.

  As I reached the doorway, her head snapped in my direction. “Don’t. Stay away.” Tessa’s eyes were wild as she shook the crude weapon at me.

  I held out a hand in a placating gesture. “Tessa, it’s Liam.” She blinked rapidly. “You know me.”

  Tessa shook her head. “Stay back.”

  Fuck. I surveyed the room. Tessa huddled on the floor, three large men looming over her. I looked at Walker and Tuck. “You need to leave. Let me talk to her alone. She’s terrified.”

  Walker shook his head. “No way. We’re already breaking just about every regulation known to man having you in here.”

  I gritted my teeth. “Stand just outside. You’ll be able to hear everything. But right now, she’s outnumbered and scared to death.”

  Walker let out a frustrated breath, his gaze went from me to Tessa and back again. “Fine. But we hear anything going south, we’re back again. I have an ambulance on the way, coming in quiet.”

  “Thank you.” I waited while Walker and Tuck slowly left. Tessa’s eyes followed the action in jerky movements, her head and gaze jumping from me to the two men leaving and back again. She kept the stake pointed in my direction.

  Slowly, I eased myself to the floor, wanting to be on her level. Then I began to talk. “Do you remember the first time we met?” I didn’t wait for her answer. “I didn’t make a very good first impression, nearly knocking you over, trying to get away from Bridgette.” Rage heated my blood at just Bridgette’s name on my tongue, but I pushed it down.

  I studied Tessa as I kept talking. “But you forgave me for my rudeness. Eventually.” I drew patterns on the wood floor with my fingertips. “You let me help you take Trouble to the vet. I think seeing how much you cared for that little, defenseless kitten was when I first started to fall in love with you.”

  Tessa’s head quirked to the side slightly as if she were searching for a memory just out of reach. I pushed on. “And when I saw you with Phoenix. That bond, so deep and rare, I loved you a little more.”

  Tessa blinked rapidly. I slid just a bit closer. “Watching your talent bring images to life on the pages of a notebook…another piece of my heart. Gone.” Tears stung the backs of my eyes. “But most of all, you saw me. Who I really am beneath the façade the rest of the world sees. Fuck-ups and all. And you loved me in return.”

  Tears filled Tessa’s eyes. I pushed myself even closer to her, trying to pinpoint any injuries. There was blood everywhere, but I had no idea if any of it was hers. “You are so kind. And strong. And beautiful. I’ve never loved anyone as deeply as I do you.”

  Tessa’s arm began to shake violently, and I froze. “L-l-liam?”

  Relief rushed through me in a wave. “Yes, Tessa. It’s me. Can I come closer?”

  Tessa dropped the stake and launched herself at me in a half-jump, half-collapse. When I caught her, she cried out in pain. I froze. “Baby, where are you hurt?”

  Tessa’s voice was weak and incredibly hoarse when she answered. “Head. Don’t know.”

  I cradled her in my lap, brushing her hair away from her face. As I did, I saw that one side of her face near her temple was swollen and turning a deep purple. My gaze shot to the body on the other side of the room. I wished I could bring that monster back to life so I could have the honor of killing him again.

  I looked back at Tessa, her eyes drooping. “No, Tessa, stay awake. Stay with me. I need to bring some people in here to help you, okay?” Tessa started to nod and then winced. “Don’t move.” I looked at the doorway. “Walker, get those EMTs up here.”

  Walker stepped into view. “Tuck’s bringing them up. She okay?” His eyes looked pained.

  My heart seemed to rattle in my ribs. “I’m not sure. He hit her over the head with something.” I examined as much of Tessa’s form as I could without moving her. Red finger-sized marks stood out on her throat amidst the blood. I cursed. “And he strangled her at some point.” Walker let out a curse.

  EMTs charged into the room, and Tessa jolted against me. “No!” She waved her hand as if to ward them off.

  I held Tessa to me as I shot daggers at the idiot EMTs for their blundering approach. “It’s okay. These people are here to help.”

  Tessa clung tighter to me. “Don’t leave me.”

  “I’m not going anywhere.” I rocked her back and forth.

  A female EMT approached slowly. “Tessa, we’re going to give you something that’s going to help you relax and ease your pain. But your—” She paused, not knowing how to refer to me. I mouthed Liam to her. “But Liam can stay with you, okay?”

  Tessa looked at me, her eyes wide. I brushed the uninjured side of her face, cupping her cheek. “It’s okay. I’ll be with you the whole time.”

  The EMT gently took hold of Tessa’s arm, carefully sliding a needle into her vein and starting an IV. The male EMT stood off to the side, holding a bag of saline and injecting something else into the line. Within a matter of minutes, Tessa’s eyes were fluttering, and her body sagged.

  The female EMT gave me a gentle smile. “We need to move her now. Get her to the hospital so she can be examined.”

  I nodded but couldn’t seem to release my hold. I’d just gotten Tessa back, how could I let her go?

  The EMT touched my shoulder. “We’ll take good care of her. I promise. And you can ride with us.”

  I nodded again, slowly releasing my hold of Tessa and allowing them to roll her onto a backboard. I watched it all, but it was like trying to see through a haze. Everything was too slow and yet too fast at the same time.

  I followed the medical team as they navigated the staircase and moved out into the yard. Walker clapped me on the back. “We’ll be right behind you.”

  I jumped into the back of the ambulance with the female EMT and took hold of Tessa’s hand. She needed to know that I was here. She wasn’t alone. Never again.

  I PACED BACK and forth in front of the trauma room door. When the doctor had told me that I had to leave while they worked on Tessa, the only thing that had come between him and a fist to the face was Walker and Tuck. I’d told Tessa that I wouldn’t leave her alone, but there she was, in a room full of strangers. I hoped against hope that she wouldn’t wake up and find me gone. Then I really would deck that doctor.

  “This is the right thing. They need to assess her injuries. Take x-rays. Run other tests.” Walker leaned against the wall, worry lining his face.

  “She shouldn’t be alone,” I growled.

  Tuck toyed with the water bottle in his hands. “She’s not. Tessa’s surrounded by people taking care of her.”

  My gaze snapped to him. “People she doesn’t know.” The door to
the trauma room opened, and the asshole doctor strode out. “How is Tessa? Is she going to be okay?”

  The physician held up a hand. “She’s going to be fine.” My body sagged in relief. “Ms. Fitzpatrick does have a rather severe concussion along with some other contusions and scrapes. She’ll have to remain in the hospital for now, but I predict we’ll be able to release her in the next couple of days.”

  I could barely get my next words out. “Do you know, was she raped?” There was a tearing sensation in my chest at even having to ask.

  The doctor’s expression gentled slightly. “There were no signs of sexual assault.”

  I let out a shuddered breath. “Can I go in now?”

  The doctor nodded. “The nurses are preparing her for transport, and we’ll take her up to a room.”

  “Thank you.” I pushed open the door, and my heart faltered. They had changed Tessa into a hospital gown, but there was still dried blood caked on her face and arms. I couldn’t let her wake up to that. I looked at one of the nurses. “Can you get me a washcloth and a basin of warm water?”

  The nurse gave me a gentle smile. “Of course. We were planning to clean Ms. Fitzpatrick up as soon as we got her upstairs, but you can do it yourself if you’d prefer.”

  I swallowed hard. “I’d like to.” I needed to do something. I’d failed Tessa in so many ways, but I’d be with her every step of the way now.

  The nurse nodded. “They have her room ready, so let’s take her upstairs first. That’ll give you more privacy.”

  An orderly unlocked the bed and rolled her towards the door. Walker and Tuck took Tessa in as we passed, rage lighting both of their gazes. Walker’s jaw worked. “I’m going to head out to the waiting room and let everyone know Tessa’s going to be just fine.”

  I locked eyes with him and Tuck. “Thank you. For everything.”

  Walker jerked his chin in a nod. “Of course.”

  I stayed in step with Tessa’s bed until we reached a room. It was a private one, thankfully. It had a window that looked out at the mountains. She’d like that. The orderly locked the bed in place and turned to leave.

  Tessa was so pale. So very still. I fucking hated it. I took the hand that wasn’t connected to an IV and placed it in mine. “You’re safe now. No one is ever going to hurt you again.”

  A soft knock sounded on the open door, and I turned. The same nurse was there, but now she wielded a cart with towels and a basin of water. “This should do the trick. Just be careful around her head and the IV line.”

  “I will.” I looked from the nurse to Tessa and back again. “Any idea when she might wake up?”

  The nurse settled the cart next to the hospital bed. “It’s a waiting game now. She’s been through an incredible trauma, both mentally and physically.” My gut clenched, hating that I hadn’t been there. “We’ll be back to try and rouse her in an hour or so.”

  I took a washcloth from the cart. “Thank you.”

  The nurse gave me a kind smile. “Just hit the call button if you need anything at all.”

  “I will.”

  The woman left, pulling the door closed behind her.

  I dipped the cloth into the warm water, squeezing out the excess liquid. “Let’s get you cleaned up.” Carefully, I began to wipe the fabric against Tessa’s unmarred cheek. As the terrycloth turned pink, an invisible fist gripped my heart. I felt wetness on my face, but it took me a moment to realize it was my tears.

  I could’ve lost her. It was fucking close. I didn’t know how I’d ever let her out of my sight again. I couldn’t process everything I was feeling. Instead, I poured all my emotion into the task at hand: cleaning every sign of what that bastard had done to Tessa from her skin. I couldn’t erase the bruises, but I could eradicate the blood.

  I worked methodically and as gently as possible until there was not even one dot of dried blood left. Then, as lightly as possible, I brushed my lips against Tessa’s bruised temple. “I’ve got you. Come back to me.”

  47

  Tessa

  T here was a familiar voice calling to me. Tendrils of music swirled around me. I wanted to crawl into the warm, rich sound and never leave. The last notes of a song, familiar somehow, floated away. I needed to hear it again.

  “Come on, Tessa. Time to show me those pretty eyes.”

  My lids fluttered. The light made my head pound.

  “There you go.”

  The room, blurry, came into focus in degrees. “Hurts.”

  “Can you turn that light down?” the voice asked.

  “Of course,” another voice answered. The lights dimmed, and the pain subsided along with it.

  “Hey there.” Liam’s face filled my vision. “What hurts?”

  I took a mental inventory of my body. “My head. My throat.” My voice had a rasp to it that was usually reserved for Liam’s crooning. Things came back in flashes. The room. Garrett. Blood. My body jolted, and I cried out at the sharp pain in my skull.

  Liam cupped my cheek, his face ravaged. “It’s okay. You’re safe now.”

  My breaths came in quick pants, stinging my throat. “Garrett. Is he?”

  Liam’s expression turned to stone. “He’s gone. You saved yourself.” Liam bent closer. “I’m so fucking proud of you.”

  Hot tears stung my eyes. “I killed him?”

  Liam closed his eyes as if pained. When he opened them, the sage green in them seemed to be full of fire. “You did what you had to do. But I’m so sorry you had to do it. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to protect you.”

  There was so much pain in those eyes. So much guilt. I hated it. “No.”

  Liam pulled back, his brows drawing together. “No?”

  My voice shook, but I had to tell him. “I’m alive because you showed me what to do. Garrett, he zip-tied my hands, but I got out of them like you showed me.” The fire in Liam’s gaze blazed hotter. I rushed on. “And then I thought about what you told me about how almost anything can be a weapon. So, I broke off a leg of the chair…” I let my words trail off. I didn’t need to tell him what I’d done with that.

  Liam bent and brushed his lips against my temple on the side of my head that wasn’t throbbing. “You’re so strong.”

  I soaked up the warmth of his touch. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

  “Always,” he whispered against my skin.

  I tried to remember what exactly had happened after my fight with Garrett, but I couldn’t seem to grasp it. “What happened?”

  Liam straightened, studying my face. “What do you mean?”

  I swallowed, fisting the blanket. “After…I don’t remember.”

  Liam lifted a cup with a straw to my lips. “Here, have a little of this. It’s apple juice.” I took a small sip, it tasted like heaven. “The doctor said it’s normal if you don’t remember for a while. You were in shock when the police found you. You wouldn’t let anyone get close.”

  I hated the blank space in my mind, loathed the thought that anything could have happened in that time and I wouldn’t know it, as if my memory, my brain, were betraying me. “Will you tell me what happened?”

  Liam brushed the hair out of my face. “Are you sure you want to talk about all of this right now?”

  I clutched the blanket tighter. “I need to know.”

  Liam’s expression shuttered slightly. “You didn’t recognize Walker or Tuck, so they called me in to see if you would let me get close.” Tears gathered in Liam’s eyes. “Tessa, when I got there, you were covered in blood. We had no idea how badly you’d been hurt. I’ve never been so terrified in my life.”

  I reached out, touching Liam’s stubbled cheek. He pressed his face into my palm. “I made everyone leave. I just kept talking to you. Telling you all the times I fell more and more in love with you. Eventually, you came back to me.”

  Tears stung my eyes. “Thank you for bringing me back.” My gaze caught on a guitar leaning against the bed. “Were you singing to me?”

  Liam tur
ned his head so that he could kiss my palm and then placed my hand on his chest. His heartbeat was steady and strong, just like Liam himself. “You were unconscious longer than the doctor expected. He said talking to you, playing music, might help. Taylor picked up my guitar, and I’ve just been playing nonstop since she brought it.” His gaze met mine and held. “I finished your song.”

  “You wrote me a song?”

  Liam squeezed my hand. “It turns out, you were the key to finding my voice again.”

  My chest warmed. “I can’t wait to hear it.”

  He eyed the door to the hospital room. “That might have to wait for a bit.”

  My forehead wrinkled. “What do you mean?”

  Liam chuckled. “There’s a whole lot of people who are anxiously waiting to see you.”

  My chest warmed. “Really?”

  “Of course. The entire Cole family, Taylor, Tuck.”

  A smile stretched my face. “I have a family.”

  Liam brushed his mouth against mine. “Now and forever.”

  THREE WEEKS LATER

  “Thank you for continuing to come out to the ranch and working with me here,” I said to the gray-haired woman in her sixties at my side.

  Susan stroked Phoenix’s neck. “It’s my pleasure. Working alongside these mustangs is a true gift.”

  I smiled at my therapist. Susan was the gift. Sarah had brought her over to the guest cabin one afternoon not long after I had been released from the hospital. Susan was a friend of Sarah’s, a therapist who specialized in equine therapy. I’d never known that therapy involving horses was a thing.

  Susan was kind, incredibly gentle, and had an air about her that resonated with me. She had offered to come and spend time with the mustangs and me whenever I wanted. I took her up on the offer immediately.

  I wasn’t in denial. I knew I had a hell of a lot of things I needed to process. Trauma that had begun long before I took Garrett’s life. I’d met with Susan every day for that first week, and then every other the next. Now, we were settling into a twice a week schedule that we’d keep for the foreseeable future. She’d also connected me with a support group I’d attended for the first time the night before.