Beautifully Broken Life (The Sutter Lake Series Book 2)

by Catherine Cowles

  My bruises were almost faded, but my mind, my soul, they’d take a little longer to heal. There had been what felt like unending questions from police officers, and while Walker had tried to shield me as much as possible, there was only so much he could do. The police in DC had been able to put more of the puzzle pieces together, including finding evidence that led them to the place where Bethany had been buried. I hoped finding her had given her parents a measure of peace.

  I shuddered against the breeze. I just needed time. Time and the people I loved. Thankfully, I had both, and everyone in my life was incredibly patient and supportive. I’d even reconnected with Gena. We’d spent an entire two-hour phone call alternating between crying and laughing, and she was already planning a trip to come and see me. I couldn’t wait.

  Susan inclined her head to the side. “Looks like your young man is ready for you.”

  I turned to see Liam sitting on our boulder about fifty yards away, the most patient person of all. He was just like that rock, a steady source of strength that I could always lean on. He held me at night when the nightmares gripped me, stayed up with me if I couldn’t sleep, always listened, and never pushed. I smiled in his direction.

  Susan chuckled. “He’s a handsome devil, that’s for sure.”

  I laughed. “Don’t tell him that, it’ll go to his head.”

  Susan stepped away from Phoenix. “I’ll try to refrain. See you on Friday?”

  “Same time, same place.” I scratched between Phoenix’s ears as Susan headed up the hill with a wave to Liam. I bent my forehead to Phee’s. “Thanks, girl.” Phoenix had been alarmed the first time she saw me after I got out of the hospital. It was as though she’d known I’d been hurt. She’d circled me and wouldn’t let Liam or Jensen near me for a good hour. But, eventually, she’d calmed, trusting that I was okay. Safe. Working with Susan was healing us both.

  I kissed the mare’s muzzle. “I’ll be back tomorrow.” Phoenix whinnied and followed me as I walked towards Liam. The fading sun picked up the lighter tones in his hair. God, he was handsome. My body warmed with comfort and the first licks of desire. “Hey,” I called as I approached.

  “Hey.” He patted the spot next to him on the rock, and I sat. “Good session?”

  I burrowed into Liam’s side, and he wrapped an arm around me. “Really good.”

  He brushed his lips over my temple in that spot that was only his. “I’m glad.” We sat in silence for a while, just watching the sun sink lower in the sky. “I wanted to ask you something.”

  “Ask away.”

  Liam toyed with a strand of my hair. “You can say no if it’s too soon.”

  I straightened so that I could get a better look at his face. Liam sounded…nervous. “What is it?”

  “Will you move in with me?”

  My eyes widened a bit. I’d been staying with Liam at the guest cabin since my kidnapping, but the majority of my belongings were still at my apartment at the Kettle. I bit my lip. “Can I ask you one thing before I answer?”

  Liam tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “Anything.”

  I took a deep breath. “Why are you asking?”

  Surprise lit Liam’s eyes. “Because I love you. And I know you’re just about physically healed.” He looked out at the view in front of us. “I don’t want you to go back to the apartment.” He looked back at me and smiled. “Or, if you do, take me with you.”

  I grinned, and my heart flip-flopped in my chest. God, I loved this man. “Then, yes, I’d love to move in with you.”

  Liam looked at the sky. “Thank fuck.” Then he took my mouth in a searing kiss. I moaned into his mouth, and Liam pulled back on a groan. “Not here.” I giggled. His gaze traveled over my face in the most tender of caresses. “Why did you want to know why I was asking?”

  I threaded my fingers through his. “I only want to move in with you if it’s because you truly want me there and want to take that step in our relationship, not because you’re scared that something’s going to happen to me.”

  I studied Liam’s face carefully. This was an area we were still finding our way in. Everything that had happened had been traumatic for Liam in its own way. It was incredibly hard for him to let me out of his sight for more than a few minutes. He’d eventually had a session with Susan to talk about how much he was struggling, but it was a long conversation with Walker that had really seemed to help.

  The two men shared a bond, their woman had been harmed, and they had to deal with the guilt they’d placed firmly on their own shoulders. It didn’t matter how many times I told Liam it wasn’t his fault, he would always carry a piece of misplaced responsibility inside himself. I pressed my lips to his and then whispered against them, “I love you.”

  Liam framed my face in his hands. “I’ll always worry about you.” I stiffened slightly in his hold. Liam kissed me quickly to silence any protest. “I’ll always worry because you’re the most precious thing on this Earth to me.” My muscles eased. “I lived an entire day thinking I might lose you.”

  Tears stung the corners of my eyes. Liam caught one on his thumb. “It taught me not to waste a single moment of this life with you. I want you with me. Always and forever. And I’m ready for forever to start right now.”

  I swept my lips across his, not caring a bit that tears were streaming down my cheeks. “Not soon enough.”

  EPILOGUE

  Tessa

  ONE YEAR LATER

  “What are you up to?” I asked from the passenger seat of Liam’s SUV. He had that smirking grin on his face that said he was up to something.

  Liam adjusted the radio dial and kept his eyes on the gravel road in front of us. “What? A man can’t take his girl on a picnic lunch when he feels like it? I thought I was being romantic.”

  I leaned across the console and pressed my lips to his cheek. I’d never get tired of the way his stubble sent pleasant shivers down my spine. “You’re so romantic. And I’m very grateful.”

  Liam eyed me from under his lashes. “You can show me your gratitude later.”

  I chuckled and settled myself back in the passenger seat. “So, where are we going on this picnic?” We were headed away from the lake and the Cole Ranch, our usual spots.

  Liam put on his blinker. “I found this spot the other day, I think you’re going to love it.”

  I frowned as we pulled off the main road and moved through what looked like a gate to some private property. “Uh, Liam?”

  “Yeah?” he asked absently.

  “I think this is someone’s property.”

  Liam navigated the SUV around a dip in the road. “It is, but I got permission, don’t worry.”

  My gaze traveled and took in the land around us. There wasn’t a house for as far as I could see, only rolling hills and forests. It was beautiful. “How did you find this place anyway?”

  Liam turned the vehicle to head up a hillside. “I’ll tell you when we get there.”

  I let out an exasperated sigh. “Stop being so cryptic.”

  Liam grinned even wider and looked out the window. “Stop being so impatient.”

  I was just about to snark back at him when we crested the hill. I sucked in a breath. The view was absolutely incredible. Just like at the Cole Ranch, you could see the mountains, the town, and the lake. There wasn’t one direction that didn’t have something beautiful to look at. “Liam,” I whispered.

  He picked up my hand and brushed his lips against my knuckles. “Beautiful, right?”

  “Breathtaking,” I answered, not looking away.

  Liam squeezed my hand and released it. “Here.” He reached into the back and handed me a wool blanket. “Pick us out a spot, and I’ll grab our lunch.”

  “Okay.” I took the blanket from Liam and slid out of the SUV. The summer breeze swirled my sundress around my legs as I headed towards a vista that gave us a view of everything we could ever want to see.

  By the time I had the blanket spread out, Liam was walking over wit
h the basket I knew Sarah had put together under one arm, and some sort of tube in his other hand. My forehead wrinkled. “What’s that?” I asked, inclining my head towards the tube.

  Liam set the picnic basket on the blanket. “So full of questions today.”

  I toyed with the fringe of the blanket. “Just curious.” That wasn’t a total lie, I was curious. But I was asking so many questions because I was afraid I might spill my own news at the wrong time.

  Liam settled himself next to me on the blanket. “What do you think?”

  “Of our picnic spot?” I looked out at the view again. “It’s gorgeous.”

  Liam pressed his lips to my temple. “What would you think about building a home here?”

  My body jerked, and I sat up straight. “Here? Really?” Liam had been searching for the perfect piece of property to build a house on for what felt like forever. His fancy lawyer had been able to get him out of his record contract, and he’d released the album he always wanted to make. But now he was more focused on producing and he needed a place where he could record. Right now, we had to travel back and forth to LA every month or so. It wasn’t ideal.

  Liam popped off the end of the cardboard tube. “Right here.” He spread out what looked like blueprints on the blanket. “These are just some preliminary sketches the architect put together for our options.”

  His finger dusted over the plans. “The whole back of the house would be windows so we could take advantage of the view. My recording studio could go there.” Liam tapped the paper. “And over here, your art studio.”

  My heart squeezed. Liam had never stopped championing my art. He had, in fact, put a drawing of mine on the cover of his album, a charcoal sketch of Phoenix, and it had led to quite a bit of attention. I’d had a few showings in galleries over the past year, and had enough private clients to make art my full-time job.

  Tears pricked at my eyes. “It’s perfect.” I looked up, meeting his gaze. There was so much emotion in those eyes.

  Liam cupped my cheek. “Let’s build a home here.”

  “I can’t imagine anything better.” I pulled myself over to Liam so that I straddled his lap. “Well, maybe one thing could make it better.” I began pulling his shirt up and over his head. I paused for a brief second. “No one’s coming up here, right?”

  Liam ripped off his shirt the rest of the way. “I’d shoot them if they tried.”

  My hands made quick work of the button on Liam’s shorts. My need for him fueled my movements, as if I would die if he weren’t inside me soon. “Need you.”

  “You have me.” Liam kicked off his shoes and bucked his hips to shuck his shorts and boxers. The movement ground his hardening cock against my center. I moaned. Liam cursed.

  Liam lowered the straps of my sundress so that my breasts fell free. His lips closed around one nipple, and he sucked. Hard. I cried out. He released the bud from his mouth. “Too much?”

  I took his mouth in a swift kiss. “They’re just sensitive today.”

  Liam’s hands massaged my breasts with a soft pressure that had wetness pooling between my legs. “I’ll be gentle.”

  I ran my hands through his hair, tugging. “Don’t be too gentle.”

  One of Liam’s hands dipped beneath my dress and froze. “No panties?”

  I smiled devilishly. “I had high hopes for this picnic.”

  Liam groaned as his fingers began to explore. “One of these days, you’re going to kill me.”

  I laughed and bent to suck his ear lobe between my teeth so I could nibble. “Need you inside me, Liam. Now.”

  His fingers were gone, and then his tip was pushing in. I arched back as he entered me fully. The delicious stretch that turned to heat was my favorite feeling in the world. I began to rock, finding that slow and steady rhythm that built and built.

  I picked up my pace, Liam guiding my hips as my hair, now blonde again, fell in a cascade around us. “So close.” I moaned out the words.

  Liam thrust his hips, hitting that deep spot that always caused me to shatter. But this time was so intense, my entire body shook. I collapsed on Liam’s chest, breathing heavily. His lips pressed against my temple. “Love you, Tessa.”

  “Love you more.” I burrowed into his neck. We stayed like that for a long time until Liam had to pull out. I whimpered at the loss. Quickly dressing, he pulled a towel from the picnic basket and cleaned me with such tenderness, tears filled my eyes.

  Liam brushed the drops away with his thumbs. “Hey now, what’s this about?”

  I straightened my dress. “Sorry, I’m just emotional.” Liam gave me a puzzled smile. I took a deep breath. “What do you think the chances are we could get this house built in the next six months?”

  Liam sat back down next to me, trailing a hand up and down my spine. “I think it would be a challenge, but we might be able to do it. Why?”

  I looked into his eyes, so full of love and acceptance, and I hoped like hell this news made him happy. “Because I thought it would be nice to be settled before the baby comes.”

  Liam shot up straight. “Baby? Are you? How?”

  I nodded, nibbling on my bottom lip. “My IUD got out of place somehow. And, well, I guess you have some determined sperm.”

  Worry passed over Liam’s face as his hands came to my stomach. “With everything with the IUD, are you and the baby okay?”

  Tears tracked down my cheeks. “We’re fine. Are you okay with this? I know we didn’t plan—” I couldn’t finish my sentence because Liam was suddenly kissing me.

  When he pulled back, I saw that his eyes were a little misty. “Nothing would make me happier than starting a family with you. I was going to ask you to marry me our first night in this house, but I don’t want to wait. Marry me, Tessa.”

  I was smiling so widely, my cheeks hurt. “That doesn’t sound like a question.”

  “Fuck, no.” Liam framed my face with his hands. “It’s a promise. To love you. To honor you. To protect you. To help you fly. And to give you the most beautiful life possible. Marry me.”

  Love. A family. Roots of my own. I couldn’t imagine anything else I’d ever need. “Always.”

  THE END

  Want to know what happens when Jensen falls for her brother’s best friend? Find out what’s in store for Jensen and Tuck in Beautifully Broken Spirit. Available for purchase by tapping HERE.

  And if you’d like a little more of Liam, make sure you check out Further To Fall for a glimpse of what his life was like before he moved to Sutter Lake, when his best friends were falling in love and danger lurked. Further To Fall is available for purchase by tapping HERE.

  BONUS SCENE

  Want to find out what happens when Tessa and Liam finally get that epic trip to Disneyland? By signing up for my newsletter, you’ll get this bonus scene. Plus, you’ll be the first to see cover reveals, excerpts from upcoming releases, exclusive news, and have access to giveaways found nowhere else. Sign up by going to the link HERE.

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  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  As a reader, acknowledgments are one of my very favorite parts of every book. I love getting a behind-the-scenes glimpse into an author’s journey on a specific novel. Who helped shaped things for them, who encouraged them when things got tough. What can I say? I’m nosy. But if you’re still flipping pages, maybe you are, too!

  Beautifully Broken Life was my toughest book to write so far. I wanted so desperately to do justice to Tessa’s and Liam’s story, but especially to Tessa’s journey. But I battled a lot of self-doubt along the way. So many people helped make this book a reality and held my hand through the process so I didn’t end up rocking in a corner somewhere.

  The first thank you always has to go to my mom. She gave me my insatiable love of books and is my biggest supporter. Thank you for everything, Mom!

  The indie romance community is just simply magical. I’m so incredibly grateful for the women who have been supportive in every possible way; from answering a million questions to sharing my books to giving desperately needed pep talks. Alessandra, Julia, Devney, Meghan, Emma (wormhole forever!), Grahame, and the ladies of KB 101…thank you from the bottom of my heart.

  To my fearless beta readers: Angela, Emily, and Ryan, thank you for reading this book in its roughest form and helping me to make it the best it could possibly be!

  So many people helped make this book soar. Susan and Chelle, thank you for your editing wisdom and helping to guide my path. Julie, for catching all my errors, big and small. Hang, thank you for creating the most magical cover for this story. Stacey, for making my paperbacks sparkle. And Becca, for creating trailers that give me chills.

  To all the bloggers who have taken a chance on my words…THANK YOU! Your championing of my stories means more than I can say. And to my ARC team, thank you for your kindness, support, and sharing my books with the world.