Ember

by Emma Renshaw

  When we’d arrived, his mom had looked a little tired, but okay. Now there wasn’t a hint that the cancer was wearing her down. She was radiant.

  “It won’t be so bad. Tuck’s a good boy, he’ll help.” Jenna patted my hand.

  “I love dogs and have wanted one since we lost ours when I was a teen, but I didn’t know how old Tucker should be when we got one. And it was just Tuck and me. It seemed like too much work.”

  Tucker and Gunner were crouched down in front of a yellow lab. The pup’s tail was thwacking back and forth. He stood on his back paws and pushed himself on the metal gate to get closer to the two in front of him.

  “This one, Mom!”

  I squeezed Jenna’s arm and knelt next to the two guys at the center of my world. I stuck my fingers through the gate, and the puppy trotted over to me to greet the newcomer. He licked my fingers, and that was all it took to become fully convinced of this crazy puppy idea.

  “He’s perfect,” I said.

  “Can we name him Rattler?” Tucker asked, but he wasn’t facing me; he was facing Gunner. Gunner ran his hand over Tucker’s head and messed with the top of his hair.

  Gunner snorted. “What else would we name him?”

  “I’ll go grab one of the employees,” Jenna said and walked away. We stayed bent down in front of the kennel playing with Rattler through the gate.

  He wasn’t a puppy puppy, but he looked about a year old. He was definitely still growing. I snatched the information guide off the gate and read what the kennel had written about him.

  “Yes,” I said and raised my fist in the air. “He’s housebroken! But, Tucker, that doesn’t mean that you get off your duties with him. Walks, food for Rattler, and maybe some other things will be added to your chores.”

  “Okay, Mom,” Tucker said, but he barely paid me any mind as he continued to tickle the dog through the gate. Gunner slid around Tucker and stood next to me, reading the information over my shoulder.

  “Seems like a good dog,” he said and pointed at the paper I was holding. “He’s good with kids and babies.”

  “As long as he’s good with Tucker, I’ll be happy.”

  “I think it’s good that he likes babies.”

  I turned toward Gunner. His face was so close to mine, I could’ve easily closed the distance between us and planted a kiss on his cheek or his lips. His gaze held so much fire I felt it down to my bones. I shivered and my arms broke out in goosebumps, even under the sweater I was wearing.

  “Yeah, it’s good he likes babies.”

  A slow, sultry grin spread across Gunner’s face, and I was lost in his eyes until his mom cleared her throat behind us. She had a cat-who-ate-the-canary grin as her gaze bounced between Gunner and me like we were a tennis match.

  I stood. “Hi, we’re interested in adopting this pup.” I pointed over my shoulder at the little guy we’d already named.

  “He’s a great choice.” According to the name badge on her lime-green polo, her name was Linette. “We’re going to miss him around here. Some of the girls take him up front sometimes. I thought for sure he’d be adopted within a day, but I guess he was waiting for the perfect family.”

  “That’s us,” Tuck said. He stood and stepped back from the gate so Linette could grab Rattler. She hooked a temporary collar and leash on him and led him out of the kennel. Tuck took the leash and leaned down to scoop him up into his arms. Rattler bathed his face in kisses while Tucker laughed.

  “I’m going to walk Rattler,” I called. Tucker and Gunner were batting, using the pitching machine he’d bought, and Gunner was giving Tuck tips on his swing. Every time Gunner went to the plate, Tuck’s eyes would light up and watch his every movement.

  My eyes were glued to Gunner too, but for an entirely different reason. I couldn’t wait to catch him at a game next season in his tight baseball pants, so I could watch his batting routine and little booty shake. I fanned myself even though the crisp fall air had brought on a chill.

  “Hold up.” Gunner jogged over to me. “Where are you going?”

  “Just around here.” I pointed to the trail that was visible.

  His jaw tightened. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”

  “I’ll be okay, I’ll stay close.”

  Gunner licked his lips but nodded. He leaned in and pecked me on the lips. I watched his ass as he jogged off before raising my eyes just in time to catch the wink he was sending me over his shoulder.

  I walked along the outskirts of the trail, keeping the field in view. I knew Gunner would be watching for me, and I didn’t want Tuck to catch on to any worry on his part.

  Rattler pulled the leash toward the bushes so he could sniff and explore. We’d need to take him to puppy kindergarten to be leash trained and trained to sit and lie down, but right now he was doing pretty well and his tugging wasn’t too bad.

  “Delilah.”

  I froze, spinning around. My heart pounded and I blinked. This couldn’t be happening again. I looked toward the baseball field. I could barely see Tucker and Gunner through the foliage, but I could hear the crack of the bat.

  I returned my focus to Shayla, and the anger that I’d been suppressing boiled over. “What is it with you and trails? You shouldn’t be here. Look, if you want to talk—fine, but we’re meeting far, far away from Tuck.”

  “I’d…I’d like that, but please just two minutes. I’m so sorry about last time. I was high and wasn’t thinking straight. I didn’t mean to hurt you and I called the ambulance.”

  So she was the mysterious caller. I’d almost forgotten Gunner had told me someone had called 9-1-1 before he had. “It’s fine,” I said, brushing it off. “You can say what you need and then you’re leaving.”

  “I swear.”

  “Fine.” I crossed my arms over my chest. Rattler sat next to me, pressing his warm body into my shins as if he were guarding me. His ears were perked and he was on alert as he stared at the woman standing in front of us.

  She had changed her clothes. They looked new, but I didn’t want to trust what I was seeing. It’d be too much to be disappointed. I didn’t know how she had the money for new clothes, and my heart broke thinking about the ways she could’ve been earning money.

  Shayla breathed deeply with her whole body as she looked down at her shoes, one foot kicking the dirt in front of her. “Okay,” she whispered to herself before she looked up and focused on me. I froze when she reached into her pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper and what looked like a quarter. She held them out to me. I looked down at the items in her outstretched hand and then at her eyes a few times before I took them.

  “What’s this?”

  “My twenty-four-hour sobriety chip and a note from my sponsor. I’ve been sober for eight days, so a little over a week. They don’t give out chips for one week.”

  A familiar prayer was etched on the coin. I flipped it over. The number twenty-four was in the center of a triangle. Unity, Service, and Recovery were on the sides of the triangle. To Thine Own Self Be True was inscribed on the edge. “You’re sober?”

  She nodded and tears filled my eyes. I opened the note, reading the scratchy penmanship from her sponsor. She’d been sober for eight days and was attending meetings every day.

  Tears slipped from my eyes, and I brushed them away and looked at her again. I was happy she was getting help, but I was scared to trust it. And I was even more scared of what the future could hold for Tucker.

  As if she’d read my thoughts like she once could, she said, “I know I’m not right for him.” She clenched her jaw and a heartbroken gasp escaped her lips as she angrily swiped a tear across her cheek. “I just want some part of his life. I want to know him.”

  “I need more proof than eight days.”

  She nodded quickly. “I know. This is only the beginning. I know. Can we meet? I’ll call you and we can meet?”

  After a pause and some reluctance, I nodded. “Not anywhere near Tucker.”

  “Oka
y,” she whispered and met my gaze again. “You grew up so pretty, Delilah. I can’t believe you’re cooking in more than an Easy-Bake Oven now.”

  My lips twitched, but I didn’t smile. I couldn’t, this wasn’t like old times. I couldn’t erase all the stuff that had happened, no matter how much my heart ached for her.

  “I won’t chase you, Shay. The ball is in your court. If you don’t contact me, I won’t chase you to be in his life.”

  “I know. Go back to your guys. That man is really cute.”

  I shook my head. “We’re not there, Shayla. At least not yet, maybe not ever.”

  I was heading back to the field when she spoke again. I could barely hear the words. “If I’m sober, I’m a good person. If I’m not, I hate what I turn into. It’s really hard, but I’m trying to stay sober.”

  I glanced over my shoulder. “I hope you do for Tuck’s sake.”

  Tears were streaming down her face, but I had to walk toward Tucker. I had to choose him.

  29

  Gunner

  I grabbed a clean tasting spoon and stuck it into the chicken and dumpling pot. I groaned, tossed the used spoon into the sink, and picked up another clean one to repeat the process, making sure this spoonful had a dumpling and chicken in it. I closed my eyes as I savored my bite.

  “What are you doing?” Delilah asked. I put the spoon on the counter and pushed it away from me, hiding it with my body and swallowing as I turned around.

  “Nothing.”

  One side of her mouth rose and she shook her head, pointing at me. “If you’re going to be back here, I’m putting you to work.”

  “I’m all yours, baby,” I said. It was pouring rain outside, which had killed the workout plans I’d had for the day. I’d done what I could in the gym at the inn, but it wasn’t set up for that type of strength training. Mom was spending the day with a few girlfriends after telling me I’d been getting on her nerves and needed to leave her alone, so here I was bugging the other woman in my life. “Where do you need me?”

  She grimaced. “You’ve already told me you can’t cook, but can you chop vegetables?”

  I shrugged. How hard could it be?

  “I’m going to regret this,” she muttered under her breath.

  “Heard that.” I followed her to the sink to wash my hands.

  She chuckled as I leaned into her back and wrapped my arms around her, pushing both of our hands under the faucet. We soaped and lathered our hands, and I kissed the column of her throat the entire time. She let a small, quiet moan slip free.

  “Shh,” I whispered in her ear. “We aren’t the only ones in here.”

  Most of her kitchen staff was here too. Some were baking, some were chopping, and others were cooking. It’s how I’d found myself next to the pot of simmering chicken and dumplings while trying to stay out of the way.

  “Follow me,” she said. I followed her to a stainless-steel table with a wooden stool. “Sit.”

  She busied herself around the kitchen and came back with a cutting board, knives, and an assortment of vegetables, mostly onions. “I need these to be chopped. You know how onions look on top of street tacos?”

  I nodded.

  “Just like that,” she said and kissed my cheek. One of the cooks laughed as she watched us. I was used to a crowd of over forty thousand people staring at me and analyzing every move I made, but this was different. This was Delilah’s domain, and everyone here was watching me because of her.

  With every new person I met, I became more content with her setup here. Everyone looked after her and loved having her as a boss. I cut the onion in half and watched Delilah flit from station to station, leaving each person smiling. My chest swelled with pride. She caught my eye and made a chopping motion. I smiled and got to work.

  After I finished, I stood and popped my neck and back. I had a neat pile for each vegetable. They weren’t perfect, I could see uneven pieces, but I was pretty damn proud of what I’d been able to do. I slid up behind Delilah as she added cracked pepper to the pot of soup and stirred.

  I wound my arms around her waist and kissed her neck. “I’m done,” I whispered. “Do I get a reward now?”

  “What did you have in mind?”

  I tugged on her earlobe with my teeth and spoke quietly into her ear. “Nothing that we can do here. Unfortunately.”

  I heard a door pop open behind us, but I didn’t turn to see who’d come in. I stood with Delilah, my head resting on her shoulder as I watched her work with the fresh thyme in front of her.

  “I didn’t know you knew each other,” a woman said.

  I looked over my shoulder and grinned. I let go of Delilah and turned around. “Ms. Young, what’re you doing here?”

  Her gaze was bouncing back and forth between me and Delilah. Did she know Delilah? She’d never mentioned that they knew each other. I stepped forward and planted a kiss on her cheek and gave her a hug. She was stiff in my arms, but after a moment she hugged me back, patting my back softly.

  “Carol,” Delilah said. “Whatcha got for me today?”

  Delilah wiped her hands on a towel and stepped forward, peering into the wooden crate on the work surface next to Ms. Young.

  “Are y’all together?” Ms. Young asked.

  “Yes.” I swung my arm around Delilah’s shoulders. “We met when I came back to town.”

  She nodded slowly. “That’s wonderful.” She smiled, but it felt a little forced.

  I grimaced. “I’m sorry I haven’t been by lately. It’s been busy around here, and I’m training for the season again. I’ve signed with the Rattlers, so I’ll be playing locally. I’d love for you to come.”

  She swallowed and her eyes became a little misty. I didn’t want to hurt her. I knew she should be watching Declan instead of me, but he would want her out of the house and doing something.

  “We’ll see.” She turned her back toward me and faced the crate again. “Delilah, dear, I have some pumpkins in the car and some yellow squash right here.”

  “Oh, that’s perfect. Roasted honey squash with some slivered macadamia nuts on top. What do you think?”

  “That sounds wonderful.”

  “Do you need help unloading your car?” I asked.

  Ms. Young nodded. “That’d be very helpful, Gunner. Thank you. The pumpkins are a little large.”

  I nabbed her keys from her palm and left to unload the car. After I got it all inside, she exited through the back door. “It was great to see you, Gunner. I’m…I’m happy for you and Delilah. I’m sure the three of you will make a cute little family.” Tears welled in her eyes again.

  “Thank you. I told her all about Declan.”

  She nodded. “I wish he were here.”

  “I do too.”

  I hugged her once more and returned to Delilah as she sorted through the loot Ms. Young had brought with her. “How do you know Carol?”

  “That’s Declan’s mom.”

  Delilah gasped and faced me. Her hand went to her mouth and her eyes flicked to the door Ms. Young had exited through a few minutes ago. “I had no idea. She never said anything and I never wanted to pry.”

  “Does she work here?” I asked.

  “No, she helps at the farm down the road and brings food in sometimes. Occasionally she’ll stay to help. She’s even offered to babysit Tuck for me.”

  “You should let her sometime,” I said. I didn’t want to push the issue, but I knew I needed to find a way to keep my promise to Declan to take care of his mom. I bet Tuck could bring a smile to her face.

  “I will.” Delilah sighed. “I can’t believe that’s Declan’s mom. I wish I could do something for her. I can’t imagine losing Tucker.”

  “Keep doing what you’re doing, beautiful. She always loved gardening and cooking with fresh vegetables. As far as I know, this is the only thing she’s been keeping up with. Her house looked run-down. I need to get over there and help out.”

  “We’ll do it together,” Delilah promise
d.

  30

  Gunner

  Just like the first time, it was weird being in Declan’s house without him. I still felt his presence everywhere, and everything held a memory, even the cabinet where I was tightening the hinge. We’d tossed a two-liter Coca-Cola bottle back and forth until one of us dropped it and it exploded all over the kitchen cabinets. Ms. Young made us scrub every last one with a toothbrush.

  I wasn’t sure if I could have survived living in this house like she had. Memories of him hit me every day, but I think I was able to heal because I’d left Hawk Valley.

  Delilah had emptied the refrigerator and was scrubbing the shelves before organizing its contents. According to her, it was one of her favorite things to do.

  We wouldn’t be able to accomplish everything that needed to be done that day, but we would make a good start and the next visits could just be visits.

  Tucker sat at the dining room table across from Ms. Young, learning to play chess. She’d also taught Declan, and his ability to read a board and his opponent were skills he’d translated to being a good catcher. He could call the game and read the pitcher he was working with easily, anticipating their needs before they knew themselves. He would’ve been one of the greats—there was no doubt in my mind.

  Tuck’s face was scrunched with concentration as he reached for a piece. “Can’t move that one,” Ms. Young said patiently. “Try again, sweetheart.”

  My phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out of my jeans and glanced at the screen.

  Mom calling.

  I swiped across the screen, putting it on speaker, and turned back to the hinge. “Hey, Mom. I’m at Ms. Young’s, working on fixing a cabinet. You’re on speaker.”

  “Honey.” The one word caused me to freeze, and Delilah turned off the faucet. I placed the screwdriver on the countertop and tensed, readying myself for anything. Her voice was hoarse and had no life to it. She sounded like she was sick.