When Your Novel Strikes Back

by Heather Lawson

  Chapter the Second – Lions Are Lame

  “Seriously, what’s going on?”

  Heather tried to stay calm as she made her way back to the computer chair and sank into it.

  “Something seems… odd about all this,” Ally said, closing the window to stop more cheeseburgers from getting in.

  They could still hear Crast shouting for help from outside.

  “Guys, we have to help her,” Ayesha said, peering out of the glass. “She’s terrified of lions, I should know.”

  Heather looked up at Ayesha and frowned slightly, thinking things over in her head. She turned her attention to the screen and opened up a new document.

  “Crast was trapped behind the iron beast as the lion slowly circled around her,” she read aloud as she typed.

  “What are you doing?” Ally asked, coming over to join her.

  “Ayesha, tell me what’s happening outside,” Heather said, still typing. “The lion slowly made its way around to Crast, licking its lips at the thought of the meal before it.”

  “The lion’s gone around the car and is about to get Crast!” Ayesha shouted. “We’ve got to do something!”

  “I am doing something,” Heather said. “Crast gulped at the sight of the large cat in front of her. She reached around her back and grabbed the object she kept hidden in her back pocket. She pulled it out and held it in front of her, ready to use it against the lion.”

  “What does she have?” Ally asked, eager to know where the story was going.

  “I… don’t know,” Heather admitted, letting her hands slip away from the keyboard.

  “It’s catnip!” Ayesha chimed in from the window. “She throws it to distract the lion and then runs away.”

  Heather grinned at Ayesha as she typed. She ran to the window just as she finished typing and looked down to see if Crast was alright.

  “Where is she?” Heather asked.

  “She’s over there,” Ayesha said, pointing to a small café.

  “Wait a minute…” Heather turned back to the room, scanning it with her eyes. “Where’s Fluffy?”

  “He’s right over…”Ally turned to point at her pet. “There?”

  “Uh, guys?” Ayesha said, bringing their attention back to the window.

  They looked down onto the street, Fluffy was making its way across the road towards the café where Crast was now hiding. Heather turned and ran back to the computer, where she was shocked to see words had typed up on the screen by themselves.

  “The pizza monster slid towards its new prey, the girl it could see before it in the café. Although it was normally bound only to roads, the pizza monster overcame this problem by simply stepping on the pavement. It had no limits now, it could go where it pleased and right now it wanted to feed in the café,” Heather read aloud.

  “Why did you type that?” Ally said, joining her by the screen.

  “I didn’t, it typed itself,” Heather said.

  “Really? Words don’t just…” Ally began to say.

  She stopped as she saw more words appear on the page. Heather held her hands up just to prove that she wasn’t doing anything.

  “Ayesha, come and look at this,” Ally called.

  Ayesha returned from the window and gasped as she saw the words appearing on the page before them.

  “How is this possible?” Heather asked.

  “Ayesha, where did you say you got this computer again?” Ally asked slowly.

  “I… found it,” Ayesha said, trying to remember. “In an alleyway outside an old building.”

  Ally and Heather looked at each other.

  “Now we know why someone didn’t want it,” Heather said. “We’ve got to fix this.”

  She pulled the chair closer to the computer and began typing.

  “Although the pizza monster, otherwise known as Fluffy, was hungry it felt compassion for people now that a certain girl had been kind to it. He wanted to return to her but couldn’t. For no magical creatures could penetrate the fortress in which the three maidens sat,” Heather said aloud.

  “Oooo, we’re maidens?” Ayesha asked.

  “I thought we might as well be in our own story,” Heather smiled. “Plus this way, I’ve protected us from being attacked by anything this weird computer comes up with.”

  “I wouldn’t be so sure of that,” Ally said, pointing towards the door.

  Heather and Ayesha turned to see what Ally was talking about. The lion that had been chasing Crast was now standing before them. Heather turned back to the screen and read quickly.

  “The lion had grown tired of its spoils and, having noticed three tasty looking humans in a tall building, decided to go hunting for them. It didn’t take the king of the jungle long to sniff them out and now it stood, looking on at his prey, waiting for the right moment to strike.”

  “Do something Heather!” Ally said, tipping a table so that she and Ayesha could hide behind it.

  Heather glanced at the lion, who didn’t seem to be moving and then turned back to the screen. More words were forming.

  “The lion took a few steps forward…” she read. “And then turned as it heard a strange sound.”

  Heather typed quickly before the computer had a chance to.

  “The sound of hooves running on the concrete below was too much for the lion and it turned to chase the deer now running through the street below. The three maidens relaxed as the danger was now gone,” Heather sighed and relaxed in the chair slightly.

  “It seems that anytime we stop typing, it comes up with something to fill the time,” Ally said.

  “So I have to keep typing from now on?” Heather asked.

  “I think just until the story is finished,” Ally said.

  “Then we’re taking it in shifts, this could take forever!” Heather said, turning to look at the screen again. “Oh hello, it’s making a new character.”

  “Really? What’s it saying?” Ayesha said, finally emerging from behind the table.

  “The dark stranger roamed the streets, caring not for the wild beasts that were running all around him. The lion’s bloodthirsty roars didn’t deter him from his mission. He looked around the street he was now in, he noticed a young woman eating alone in a café to his right and to his left...” Heather stopped reading.

  “What? What is it?” Ayesha asked, getting closer to the screen to read what was there.

  “To his left, the maiden’s fortress,” Heather continued. “His destination.”

  “He’s coming here?!” Ayesha asked as she ran to the window.

  “One of the maidens appeared in the window, guiding his attention to the room he sought,” Heather read.

  “Ayesha! Get back over here,” Ally said.

  “As she disappeared again he ran towards the building where they were hidden, running up the staircase until he reached their door. He knew it was theirs by the claw marks on the door from where the lion had previously entered,” Heather continued. “The maidens looked at each other and then at the door as they heard his footsteps approaching. Each holding their breath as silence met them on the other side of the door. Until he knocked three times.”

  They jumped as three loud knocks came from the other side of the door.