When Your Novel Strikes Back

by Heather Lawson

  Chapter the Third – All’s Fair With A Magic Computer

  “Answer it,” Ayesha said, nudging the other two closer to the door while she moved further away.

  “I’m not answering it,” Ally said, stepping back again.

  “Neither am I,” Heather said, folding her arms defiantly.

  “Well someone’s got to,” Ayesha said.

  “I can wait all day you know,” a voice shouted from the other side of the door.

  They looked at each other and then back at the door. Heather turned her attention to the screen but no new words appeared there. Apparently the story was in their hands, for now.

  “We don’t want you here,” she shouted.

  “Sure you do!” the voice replied. “You called me here.”

  “We did not!” Ayesha shouted back.

  “Did too!” he replied.

  “Did not!”

  “Did too!”

  Ally sighed as Ayesha and the mysterious man continued to shout back and forth, she made her way over to the door and opened it, allowing the man to step inside. Heather noticed that new words were forming on the screen again.

  “A handsome man stepped over the threshold and dazzled the maidens with his charming good looks. His blonde hair was short, spiked up atop his head in a cute yet manly way. He was smiling broadly at them, dimples in his cheeks with his emerald eyes sparkling,” she read aloud.

  “Well that was a lovely introduction,” the man said, closing the door behind him.

  Heather turned to look at the man, he was exactly as the computer had described but he hardly dazzled her. He was wearing jeans and a navy blue t-shirt with a pale blue shirt on top of that and a dark jacket over that. He made his way over to the table where the food had been and sat in one of the chairs, propping his feet up on the table, his thick boots dropping dirt onto the tabletop.

  “So what can I do for you ladies?” he said, putting his hands behind his head and swinging slightly on the chair.

  Heather ignored him and turned back to the screen.

  “This man was Daniel Evans, a young man full of courage and adventure,” she read. “He wanted to help the maidens with the task they had told him about but they seemed unwilling to share information with him now that he was in their presence.”

  “You could say that again,” Daniel snorted.

  “Look Daniel,” Heather started.

  “Call me Dan,” he replied, flashing a smile in her direction.

  “Dan,” Heather said, narrowing her eyes. “We don’t know why you’re here or what the task is that we’re supposed to have called you here for. So, why don’t you just go away?”

  “Can’t,” Daniel replied, still smiling.

  “Why not?”

  “Because you need to finish the story.”

  “What?”

  “Look, I know that you’re writing a story,” Dan said, a serious look falling across his face. “This is the fifth time I’ve been written into one by the computer.”

  He glanced at the computer for a brief second, as though it was suddenly going to say something.

  “The thing is, you’ve started this novel on a computer that brings novels to life,” Dan continued. “If you don’t want your creations to suddenly turn evil and start attacking everything, including yourselves, then you’re going to need my help.”

  “How do you know all this?” Heather asked.

  “Fifth story, hello?” Daniel replied, pointing at himself.

  “Alright, so how do we fix this?” Ally asked, jumping in before another argument broke out.

  “You write the story, battle anything that the computer throws at you and end it,” Dan said, turning to Ally and smiling again. “But you must have a definite plot running through it, otherwise the computer will have you writing forever.”

  Ally nodded thoughtfully, taking a seat at the table across from Dan.

  “Alright, Heather, you keep typing and keep the story going until Ayesha and I can think up a plotline to run through the whole thing,” Ally said, grabbing some paper and the pencil Ayesha had had earlier.

  “What will I do?” Dan asked, looking around eagerly.

  “You can sit there and be quiet,” Heather said, typing up something for Crast to do while Ally and Ayesha set to work.

  “But that’s no fun,” Dan moaned, letting a pout fall over his face.

  Heather rolled her eyes and concentrated on the screen in front of her.

  “Not everything is meant to be fun for you,” she said.

  “Come on, let me do something,” Dan pleaded.

  “You really want something to do?”

  “Yes!”

  “Be quiet, how’s that for something to do?”

  Dan opened his mouth to protest and then closed it again, folding his arms and pouting again. Ally and Ayesha looked at Heather with pleading eyes. Heather rolled her eyes and turned to the screen.

  “Crast had made her way up the stairs and now stood on the threshold of the maiden’s hideout,” she read. “She could hear voices from within and knocked lightly on the door.”

  They all turned to face the door as they heard a small knock.

  “Dan rose from his chair and made his way to the door, opening it to reveal a beautiful girl,” Heather said.

  “I hope you’re not talking about her,” Dan interrupted. “Because she’s not even pretty.”

  “Hey!” Crast shouted as she pushed past Dan and made her way over to the table where Ally and Ayesha were still sitting.

  “Oh come on! I was joking!” Dan said, closing the door and joining everyone at the table again.

  “Sure you were,” Heather said. “It’s good to see you safe Crast.”

  “Thank you,” Crast said, sitting in Dan’s chair and flicking at the crumbs on the table.

  “What kind of name is Crast anyway?” Dan said as he found a different chair to sit in.

  “Hey!” Ayesha and Crast both shouted.

  “Will you just be quiet?” Heather turned to face Dan, who slumped into his chair with his signature pout.

  “I was just saying,” he mumbled.

  Heather turned back to the screen, where new words were forming due to her lack of typing.

  “Oh great, what’s it saying now?” she said, leaning in closer to read what was being typed. “The maidens were beginning to worry about being found after so many people seemed to make it easily to their location. The eldest maiden rose to her feet...hey!”

  Heather found herself standing up against her will, she turned to look at the others who were sitting baffled. Heather turned back to the screen to finish reading.

  “The eldest maiden rose to her feet and made her way towards the brooding stranger,” she continued. “I don’t like where this is going! Ally, do something!”

  Ally ran to the computer and sat in the chair, quickly scanning the words that were being typed.

  “The maiden sat tenderly in the stranger’s lap and cupped his face in her hand leaning in closer…” Ally read.

  “Type something now!” Heather shouted, her face moving closer to Dan’s.

  “The maiden pulled away from the stranger as a loud noise was heard outside their window,” Ally read aloud. “The group rushed to see what was going on.”

  “Oh come on! That’s not fair,” Dan shouted as Heather left him and ran to the window.

  “Sure it is, I am never going to kiss you,” Heather replied.

  “Whatever,” Dan said, joining them by the window. “It’s not like I wanted to anyway.”

  “Guys...what is that?” Ayesha said, interrupting them.

  They separated to look out two windows and all their mouths dropped as they spotted a large metallic vehicle in the sky above them. It whirred and emitted strange orange smoke as it lowered itself down to the street. Their shock turned to confusion as the vehicle bumped into the buildings and shuddered in the wrong direction before finally hovering a few feet above the ground and then cras
hing to it.

  “Idiots!” they heard a voice calling from the street below them. “You’re all idiots!”

  A tall man stepped onto the street, a long flowing cape fluttered in a non-existent breeze. The group watched as he took a few steps away from the vehicle and looked around the buildings. Their initial shock turned to confusion. The man turned to look at them and they could finally see his outfit clearly; an orange Hawaiian shirt, shorts and a top hat as well as flip flops with socks and an eye patch. Heather turned to face the computer, where Ally was typing away furiously.

  “Did you just make this guy up?” she asked.

  Ally briefly turned to face them and smiled.

  “Like him?”

  “He’s awesome.”

  Ayesha opened the window and leaned out of it.

  “What do you want?” she shouted.

  “Darlings!” the strangely dressed man shouted up to them, throwing his arms out wide. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”

  “Well, you found us,” Heather shouted, leaning out the other window. “What do you want?”

  The man reached behind his back and pulled out a large, bazooka like gun and grinned up at them.

  “Oh… nothing.”