What Love Feels Like

by Dixie Lynn Dwyer

  Tom gave Colby’s arm a nudge. “What’s going on here? Who is she?” he asked.

  Colby smiled. “She moved to Cherry Hill about a month ago. Seren knows her. She also started working for the shop after my mom hired her.”

  “Good for Meryl. She works so hard. I bet your mom is talking grandkids.”

  “Shit,” Colby said and shook his head.

  “Buddy, your woman is hot, and who wouldn’t want to make babies with her? I can’t believe this. We’re going to buy you guys a round.”

  “Come join us. She’s a bit shy, and we’re all getting to know one another.”

  “Ahh, so war stories time, take the pressure off?” Tom teased, and Colby shook his head again at him.

  “Just come on over.”

  As they gathered near the table, Johnny was looking down at Jade saying something that made her laugh, and Seren placed his hands on her shoulders from behind. “Don’t believe a word he says. We never got up on that stage and sang karaoke drunk,” Quincy stated, and they laughed and sat down.

  “What are you drinking, Jade?” Johnny asked.

  “Is she even legal? You guys robbing the cradle or what?” Frank teased.

  “She’s legal,” Seren said.

  “Anything you want, we’ll make it,” Frank said to her.

  “I’ll just have rum and coke,” she said and then the guys ordered beers.

  “You ordering some food, too?” Johnny asked.

  “That’s the plan. We just got back from doing some dirt biking,” Quincy told them.

  “You took this fine-looking woman on the back of one of your bikes and through the woods?” Frank asked as Johnny gave the order to one of his waitresses.

  “Not on the back of one of ours, she drove her own.”

  “Really?” Johnny asked and looked at Jade again with a flirty expression. He took a seat. “I want to know more about you, doll. Where do you work?”

  “Harper’s,” she said.

  “Harper is good people. We don’t get to go out to other places much. We have our hands full with this place,” Johnny told her. “We love it, though. Get to know all the locals and it’s a hell of a lot safer than our last gigs,” he continued just before the waitress came over with their drinks and some menus.

  Colby watched Jade as they continued to talk and she engaged in the conversation and only took small sips from the drink. She asked Quincy for water and then they ordered some appetizers. When Johnny and the others started telling old war stories and personal things about Colby and his brothers, she smiled and seemed to get more comfortable.

  “Hey, you remember that time we were stationed in Germany and you two wanted to go to the Oktoberfest so we could pick up those hot chicks with the big breast pouring out from those German dresses?” Tom asked.

  “Oh yeah, remember those three redheads?” Frank asked.

  “I was so fucking pissed at Shane and Colby. Those three were all over them. I think Shane started to speak German and was making shit up, but those redheads loved it,” Tom said.

  “What was that drink, the shots he kept calling out and getting everyone drunk? I couldn’t see straight,” Johnny said.

  “We were all pretty smashed and singing and dancing,” Shane said and placed his arm over Jade’s shoulders and the chair. He gave her a wink. “This was years ago, baby. Like fifteen years ago,” he reassured her.

  “What about you, doll? Where did you live before Cherry Hill?” Tom asked her.

  She hesitated, and Colby couldn’t help but wonder if she would answer in a more relaxed setting and conversation like this.

  “The last couple of months Texas, before that, Louisiana.”

  Colby was surprised.

  “I thought I heard a little bit of that Creole tone,” Tom asked.

  The waitresses came over with the appetizers and they all continued talking until Tom, Frank, and Johnny left them to be alone to eat. “You like your drink or want something else?” Quincy asked her.

  “I’m okay. I just don’t usually drink alcohol.”

  “Why not?” Shane asked.

  “It hits me pretty quickly.”

  “A lightweight? One drink?” Shane asked. She nodded.

  “Well, maybe if you ate a little more…” Seren said and looked at her plate. She had taken one wing and a celery stick.

  “I’m good, Seren,” she said, and when their lunches arrived, she hardly ate it. She had even asked the waitress for just the chicken wrap and no fries.

  “You should be starving. It’s nearly two o’clock,” Quincy said to her.

  “I’m not a big eater, but don’t worry, I’ll take that wrap home and have it tomorrow.”

  They were silent and Colby’s concern grew stronger. By the time they said good-bye and left to head out, he wasn’t the only one with more questions.

  They were kind of quiet as they drove toward her place. “Jade, I’m going to just throw this out there. I want you to answer truthfully,” Quincy said to her.

  “What’s that?”

  “Do you have an eating disorder?” he asked. She shook her head. Colby pulled up along the street in front of Finnerty’s bar. They all got out and walked her to her apartment.

  “Thanks for everything today. I had so much fun,” she said.

  “Invite us in so we can talk some more,” Quincy said, and she unlocked her door and they all walked in.

  Jade had truly enjoyed the day with the men. She was surprised by how much she told them and shared. She enjoyed meeting their friends and hearing a few stories about them from years ago, though the guys seemed a bit embarrassed about the ones told about them picking up women. She thought it was funny and another indication of how much older than her they were.

  Yet, with the men crowded in her apartment, she found herself shaking once again.

  “I don’t have a lot of space,” she said and moved one of the kitchen chairs into the living room, but Colby took it from her.

  “It’s fine. It’s a nice place,” he said.

  “So, about the eating thing,” Quincy pushed as he took a seat on the couch and Seren did, as well. Colby sat in the chair she pulled over, and Shane tapped his thigh for her to sit on the small recliner. She walked over and sat down on the rug instead, but by his leg. He squinted at her.

  “I think I should sit here while I explain,” she said.

  “Go on,” Quincy persisted. He was the oldest, and he played that position well.

  “I don’t have an eating disorder. My stomach just isn’t quite right yet. I get nervous sometimes. Well, all the time, actually. Especially now when I feel like I’m getting comfortable.”

  “Why would getting comfortable and perhaps setting some roots make you feel nervous?” Seren asked.

  “Because she’s got someone looking for her, that’s why,” Colby said straight-faced.

  “I don’t know if they are or not. All I know is that I barely made it out of there alive. I was beaten pretty badly. So when I ran, no one would hire me for any jobs because of the bruising. It cost me several weeks, and things got really bad quickly. I had very little money. I tried to plan accordingly, and the best thing to do was to live on the streets, in shelters, but eating wasn’t a guarantee.”

  “You went without food? For how long?” Shane asked, and sat forward in the chair.

  “It was days sometimes before I would get something, if there was a safe shelter. It was rough, I was scared, but I got through it.”

  “Holy crap, baby. So, why not eat more and build up your strength, gain a few pounds?” Quincy asked.

  “I’m in survival mode, I guess. I train, and I only eat what is necessary as I ration out my meals, my money, and work.”

  “Train?” Colby asked.

  “Ration out meals?” Seren asked.

  “I know you don’t understand,” she said and stood up.

  Shane trapped her in between his legs. She turned to look at him. “Sit down and explain it to us. Tell us
who beat you. We didn’t miss that part,” he said to her firmly. She knew they didn’t. They were worried about her and seemed to really care. Shane pulled her onto his lap, and she had to place her arm over the top part of the recliner. He caressed her outer thigh against her jeans and she nearly moaned, it felt so good.

  She stared into Shane’s blue eyes and caressed his cheek, feeling the scruff along his skin. He was not some guy her age but a man, a soldier, and, from the stories she heard today, a capable warrior. Her heart was racing, but he caressed her thigh and just held her gaze.

  “My family, for lack of a better word, are criminals. They run illegal businesses and engage in illegal activities. I’m not going to say exactly what, so don’t ask me to,” she said to him and then slid her palm to his chest as she looked at the others. “I have a sister. There was a man, a guy my father wanted to do business with, and that man is just as bad as my father. To make a long story short, my dad pushed my sister to be involved with him. She accepted, wanted the things the guy showed off having, and it sealed a deal for business. What she didn’t count on, I think, but she submitted to was not only marrying that man and becoming his possession, but sharing their bed with others, including sharing her with his friends.”

  “What?” Seren asked.

  Tears filled her eyes. “She changed so much, but she was always unhappy. Never loved by our parents or treated with respect. She didn’t know the things I did, have my capabilities. I knew how to adapt to the environment I was forced to grow up in. She didn’t. She wanted the easy way out and thought nothing of intimacy, and it cost her. I don’t even want to know where she’s at with the guy. I know he wanted kids, a football team he would say, but he would smack her around, demand sex, or even oral sex with his buddies around. She did that,” she said and shook her head and then rubbed her stomach.

  Shane covered her hand. “And you? What happened to finally send you running to get the hell out of that place?”

  She stared at him. “My dad made me part of a business deal. I was to marry this older, very wealthy man who set his eyes on me, and I refused.” Tears fell from her eyes, and Shane’s grip tightened on her. His brothers cursed under their breaths and began to demand names, where she lived, and then Shane asked how she got out of there.

  “I wouldn’t comply with his orders, and one night at a party the guy I was to marry, his friends, his security I guess, showed up. My dad wanted me to go with them to meet the guy, to get things started was what he said. My father told me to cater to the man, seduce him so he would be ready to make the deal and that they would all be rich from this. I was to spread my thighs like a good woman was supposed to.” More tears fell and she wiped them away.

  “Fucking asshole,” Quincy said.

  She looked at them and then at Shane. She cupped his cheek. “I wouldn’t do it. I couldn’t do that. I deserve better than what I have had in life thus far. I knew it in my heart, in my gut. I didn’t deserve to be treated that way, to never be cared for, never mind loved. I knew that and I wanted more, that was the difference between me and Allie. She never felt good about herself or had the fight in her like me.” She pointed to her chest. “I took that beating. I begged for them to stop, and they promised to return to take me to the man’s estate where there would be someone to marry us and make it official. As soon as they left, I crawled around the apartment, grabbed the money I had and what I could carry, covered up my bruises best I could, and ran.

  “I just took bus after bus, and I couldn’t get work because of the bruises, so I had to wait. The money I had to stay in motels, even shitty ones, started to get less and less. I had to ration out the money for food, and I don’t want to talk about it all. Just, I met Shawna on a bus in Dallas after she visited family, and she told me about Cherry Hill. I took a chance,” she said and then laid her head on his shoulder.

  Shane caressed her. Jade sensed their upset and then the movement. Shane pulled her closer and kissed her. He released her lips. “Your so damn strong, Jade. My God, what you went through, it was your own war.”

  “I fear it isn’t over, though. I fear they might come looking, yet I wouldn’t be worth the time. That man had resources and power, and he could have found me. I’m more fearful that my father and Allie’s husband could find me and do a lot worse.”

  “They won’t. We’ll protect you, and you’ll be safe in Cherry Hill. That life is over. You fought for everything and you deserve happiness and love,” Shane said and then kissed her again. She kissed him back. She felt so close to him, to his brothers, and she was actually glad to have shared her story, her secret with them. She wanted what they offered. Guardianship, a committed relationship. She wanted to make love to them and knew it was right.

  As Shane slid his palm under her T-shirt, she pulled back. “Take it off,” he said to her.

  She swallowed hard.

  “Go on,” Quincy said, standing behind her. He helped her take her T-shirt off. Then she felt his hands by the clip to her bra. “Nice and slow, just some exploring to get you used to our touches. You’re going to be our woman. We want to be your guardians, Jade. To protect you, to take care of you—”

  “Yes,” she said as her bra fell. She pushed it off of her and grabbed onto Shane’s shoulders and kissed him. She felt his warm, large hands caress up her back and then under her to cup a breast. Quincy used his hands to massage her hips and then her back, as well, and it was crazy how much she felt. When he undid the clasp to her jeans and began to lower them, she lifted her lips from Shane’s, but he held her in place.

  “Easy, we want to get a good look at our woman and at this sexy tattoo,” Quincy said and pulled down her jeans. She lifted one leg at a time, and now only had on thong panties.

  “God damn, our woman is hot,” Colby said, and he knelt down on the rug next to the chair and kissed along her tattoo. She was shaking from her overwhelming arousal. She knelt over Shane’s thighs on the recliner, with Quincy behind her and Colby and Seren right there staring at her body. Did they like what they saw? She was a bit thin. Her ribs showed. She felt fingertips slid along them.

  “You need looking after,” Quincy said and kissed her shoulder.

  Seren stood behind the chair, slid his hand to her hair, and tilted her head up toward him. As he spoke to her, Shane licked along her nipple, and Quincy slid a finger to her slit from behind.

  “Oh,” she moaned but didn’t look away from Seren. She felt submissive, accepting of their orders, their words, their hands, this control they had over her. She liked it and wanted more of it.

  “Allow us to pleasure you, beautiful. To show you what being our woman is going to be like,” Seren said before he lowered his mouth to hers as she moaned from their simultaneous ministrations. Quincy pulled his fingers from her cunt and then pushed down her panties, removing them. Colby suckled against her hipbone and her tattoo as he caressed her ass cheek. Seren plunged his tongue into her mouth as Shane suckled her breast and tugged on her nipple. It was all too much as she rocked her hips and felt her body convulse.

  “I need to taste her,” Shane said.

  “Me too,” Quincy added.

  Seren released her lips. “Trust us?” he asked, cupping her cheeks.

  “Yes.”

  They all pulled back, and Shane lifted her up into his arms and carried her to the bedroom. His jeans chaffed her bare pussy. The feel of all his thickness and muscles, his hard body against her naked one, made her pussy spasm. It was incredible, and she knew this was right. This was why she waited to have sex. She wanted a connection, a meaning, and not to feel like an object. No, she may not be experienced with intimacy, but her gut told her that these men knew their way around a woman’s body, and they would bring her pleasure, not pain, and treat her like she was special, not an item.