What Love Feels Like

by Dixie Lynn Dwyer

  “Umm.” She swallowed hard. “There are no lovers from the past.”

  “What?” Shane asked.

  “Things happened in my life. Things that sent me running from home, from the dangers there. Things that made me close up my heart, and most definitely never let any man or men near my body,” she said.

  “You’re a virgin? That’s what you’re telling us?” Seren asked.

  “Yes,” she said.

  “I didn’t see that coming,” Shane replied.

  They were all quiet, and Quincy cupped her cheek. “I may be a dick for saying this, but I’m turned on and feeling a hundred percent more possessive of you and protective right now. I don’t deserve to have that response. Not with shit I’ve done in my life, women I’ve been with, but knowing we’re going to be your only lovers ever is crazy,” he said to her and lowered his mouth to hers to kiss her.

  When he released her lips, she had her palm against his hand that was pressed against her cheek. She held his gaze. “I didn’t mean for this to happen. To ruin our first date and get so serious.”

  “What do you mean, ruin it? You made it even more perfect than we hoped, and we didn’t even go riding yet,” Seren said and pulled her into his arms and kissed her next. Quincy saw the lost look on Colby’s face, and Shane was rubbing his jaw. They were shocked, he could tell.

  When Seren released her lips, he gave her a wink. “One step at a time. Just be honest with us, explain things, let down your guard, and we’ll be right there.”

  “I’m trying. I was so nervous about today. About your reactions to me, to my inexperience, and what you might expect being older.”

  “You thought we would want to just take you to bed?” Seren asked and winked. He stroked her cheek.

  “Maybe,” she said to him.

  “There’s time for that, and when we do make love to you, you’ll be a hundred percent sure you’re ready and want to, considering you’ve waited to be intimate,” Quincy said.

  “Why didn’t you have sex with anyone?” Shane asked as he took her hand and held it against his chest.

  “I didn’t want to feel hollow inside, or like it was not a big deal when it is. I guess because I used to read these books, to get lost in another world, another time and place so I wouldn’t have to hear or deal with the troubles around me. I fell in love with the idea of a man caring about me, putting me first, wanting me in every way and being his world. I wanted the same thing in a man, and to feel like he was my world and everything I did for him would be appreciated, respected, and that we would love forever. It’s hard to explain.”

  “You’re a romantic?” Shane said to her.

  “Maybe back then, a time when I had hoped it was possible and that there was a whole different life for me somewhere.”

  “It was that bad where you were?” Colby asked.

  She looked at him and nodded.

  “How bad?” Shane asked.

  She didn’t answer right away, and tears filled her eyes as they gathered around her. “If I stayed, if I didn’t run away, I would be dead by now. Either by their doing or my own, I would be dead,” she said.

  Colby pulled her into his arms and hugged her to him. “You’re safe here with us. You’ve become our woman. You let us claim you in every way, as your guardians and your lovers, as your men, and the past is just that the past. Your present, your future, is with us. Safe and secure in these arms and in our bed,” he told her, and she hugged him tight.

  “I want that. I want to believe it’s true. I feel safe with you guys. I feel normal. I’m so tired of fighting, of being on the defensive, and training and preparing in case they came looking for me.”

  “What?” He pulled back and cupped her cheeks. Colby’s brows were furrowed. “Someone may be looking to hurt you?” he asked.

  She nodded. “To bring me back and force me to be someone I’m not.”

  “You need to explain things to us,” Seren told her.

  “Not now. I feel so spent and, well, embarrassed about the whole virgin thing,” she said.

  “Don’t be. You shocked the hell out of me, out of us, but in a good way. Let’s take a little break from the heavy talk and enjoy our first date together. Later on, you’ll explain your life and this danger so my brothers and I can take the proper precautions in protecting you. How does that sound?” Colby asked her.

  “Scary, but necessary as far as the talking part.”

  “Well, focus on the date part and having some fun.”

  “Let’s grab the ATVs,” Quincy said.

  “Not the dirt bikes?” Shane asked.

  “Jade will be able to ride the ATVs,” Seren said as they unlocked the back garage to their store.

  “Uhm, I can ride a dirt bike, motorcycles, ATVs, whatever,” she told them.

  “Interesting new information. You’ll explain as we get things together,” Colby said and gave her ass a light tap. She smiled, and Quincy’s curiosity about her life and her experiences weighed heavily on his mind, especially who may or may not be looking for her to hurt her. Not with them protecting her. He hoped she would let down her guard further and ultimately let them in on her secret and the danger she was running from.

  Jade loved the thrill of riding. It had been so long since she was on a dirt bike. Those days as a kid and teenager trying out vehicles her father and uncles fixed was a lot of fun. Driving in the races a bit when she had the opportunities to drive the cars had been exhilarating until she was no longer allowed to. As she followed between the men along the trail, thinking they were watching over her, making sure she was safe, she thought about the questions they would have, and also how she revealed never being loved.

  Perhaps when she was a child, maybe until twelve or so, her dad did let her drive the machines he worked on. Did he do that because he liked her or cared? Maybe not, considering she started to beat the boys in racing and even gave the guys a run for their money in the car races when she wasn’t even legal. That had something to do with the attention he gave her. She made him money. She raced because she loved it. He bet on her, and as long as she practiced, then she would win and make more money. He used everyone and everything to get what he wanted. He had no heart. No connection to anyone. So, how the hell did her mom wind up pregnant twice? By mistake.

  Jade thought about having sex for the first time with the men. She wasn’t on any kind of birth control. She would need to plan better, but that cost money, and she would have to register even if it were at a clinic. Her heart raced. She just wanted to feel safe and to be safe. So, why was she thinking happiness wasn’t in the stars for her and that something would go wrong here?

  As she took the next turn a little fast, her tire skidded slightly to the left. Shane was right there lowering his hand, telling her to slow down. She shook her head and decided enough thinking and being somber. Now was the time to take advantage of this fun activity, of something she had loved to do that had been taken away as a punishment.

  She revved the engine, twisted the handles, and sped up past Quincy and Seren in front and popped a wheelie on the straight away through the fields. As she lowered it down, the adrenaline pumping she screamed out in excitement and sped up even faster, then skidded out and looked at the men who were making their way closer. Colby skidded out next, then Shane, then Quincy and Seren. They were moving their hands, and she was pretty sure they were yelling at her, but they had their helmets on. She pushed up the piece covering her eyes and was laughing. They turned off the engines and she did, too. They got off and she got off, removing her helmet entirely.

  “Are you out of your mind? What the hell was that?” Colby yelled at her.

  “You could have crashed,” Shane added.

  “Why are you laughing?” Quincy demanded to know. Seren had his hand on his hips and was clenching his teeth. She felt exhilarated, free. She opened her arms wide, looked to the right where the field of flowers were, walked over, and laid down in them.

  “I feel great!�
�� she exclaimed.

  “Jesus, she’s fucking crazy,” Quincy said.

  “Almost as crazy as Colby,” Seren said as they came to stand around her. She covered her eyes, felt the sweat dripping on her body under the special rider’s jumpsuit they gave her to wear.

  She looked up at them.

  “I am having so much fun, you have no idea. I mean, seriously. It’s been forever since I rode one of those, since I got to feel the lift of the jumps, the speed and thrill of going so fast. God, I feel…”

  “Horny?” Colby asked and lowered down over her, his knee between her legs, his forearm above her head. He placed his palm against her cheek.

  “Sure, horny,” she whispered, staring up into Colby’s blue eyes. He pressed his lips to hers, and she ran her hands through his hair as he pressed more firmly against her body. She widened her thighs, and he plunged his tongue deeper into her mouth as he unzipped the top part of her jumpsuit. He pushed her T-shirt up and cupped her breast. Their make-out session got pretty wild, and then Shane laid down on her right side.

  “Share,” he said, and Colby released her lips and lowered his mouth to her belly. As he lifted her bra and released her full breasts from confinement, Shane kissed her next.

  “Holy fuck,” Quincy said and lowered to his knees on her right.

  “God damn, she hides those well,” Seren said, standing behind Colby, who began to suckle and nip at her breast.

  Then Quincy joined in and started to feast on her breast, and it was wild. Colby rocked his hips against her mound, and she felt her body tighten and then she cried out, as she pulled from Shane’s lips. “Oh God! Oh.”

  “Holy fuck, she came. God damn, that’s beautiful. Let me in there,” Seren said, and Colby kissed her belly, gave her a wink, and stood up. Then Seren lowered down between her legs and stroked against her mound through the jumpsuit.

  “You are filled with surprises. Never been on a ride like this before, Jade, but I get a feeling the ride is only going to get better.” He lowered his mouth to her belly, trailed his lips up to her left breast, and began to kiss and nip at her.

  The ride back to the store was a bit rough. Colby’s cock was throbbing in his pants. Jade revealed a side of her today they knew nothing about. A wild side, a capability to ride like someone who had racing experience. It made him have more questions. Those left his mind once she was sprawled out in the field of flowers, smiling, letting go with them and seeing how sexy of a body she had. Jesus, she was built to please a man, but as they got a little wild, started to undo her pants, she panicked. He did catch sight of that colorful floral tattoo along her hipbone.

  The fact that she was a virgin weighed heavy on his chest. He was suddenly feeling like he had something to prove. Like him and his brothers needed to be good enough for her. She was young, and he had his concerns. She was thin, though muscular. Her abs were incredible, and she must have really worked hard on them. He thought about that and also how little she ate. It brought him back to the knowledge that she was working to save money to pay for her apartment, for food, hell, that was why she was in the Goodwill store. She couldn’t afford to shop in the boutiques. His gut clenched even more so.

  He cared about her. Hell, he could love her if this didn’t go south. The only way to prevent this turning into a shit show was to get answers to their questions. She had to trust them to tell them who might be after her, who she was running from, and what happened that she was forced to run and be all alone. Where had she been living? How did she wind up in Cherry Hill? A thousand questions started popping into his head as they filled the bikes up with gasoline, cleaned them off, and put them back in the store garage.

  A glance toward Jade and he saw Quincy was helping her step out of the jumpsuit. As soon as she was out, his brother began to kiss her gingerly. The sight of his hand on her ass and her hugging him around the midsection while she kissed him back made him feel happy. Jade could make their childhood fantasy a reality. They could possibly have what their parents had. That would be incredible after all they had gone through.

  “Is the café good for lunch, or do you want to hit McCormick’s Pub and Grill on the other end of town?” Quincy asked after he released her lips.

  “Whatever you guys want to do. I’ve never been there,” she said.

  “Well then, it will be fun. The owners, Johnny, Frank, and Tom, were all in the military. They’re brothers,” he added as they got up into the truck. Jade gasped as Quincy lifted her up into his arms and into the back. He set her down, and Colby chuckled as he got into the driver’s seat.

  “What other places have you eaten at around Cherry Hill?” Seren asked her once they were all in the truck.

  “None,” she replied.

  “Why not?” Shane asked.

  “I don’t eat a lot,” she said and looked away.

  Quincy, seated next to her, spoke up “You said you needed money that’s why you took the job at our shop. How are things now, financially?”

  “Quincy?” she questioned.

  “Answer him. We want to know, and you’ve been honest all day. We expect answers to our questions so we can understand and help,” Shane said from the passenger seat. Seren locked gazes with Colby through the rearview mirror.

  “How are things now, financially?” Quincy asked again before he brought her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles.

  “Fine,” she said and appeared very uncomfortable.

  “The salary we pay you is all right?” Quincy asked.

  “Yes. Of course it is, and with Harper’s I can make rent and have a little extra.”

  “For shopping in Coldsberry?”

  “Quincy, I don’t want to talk about this.”

  “You need to so we know how bad things are and were. So we can help.”

  “No. I’m not going to tell you so you can then try to buy me things or whatever,” she said and looked away and pulled her hand from his.

  “That isn’t up to you. As your guardians, your men, it’s our responsibility.”

  “I don’t want to be a responsibility.”

  “That isn’t what he means and you know it. Don’t try to push us away again and put up that wall. Just tell us how bad things were and whether you’re okay now,” Shane said.

  She was quiet a moment. “I have a roof over my head, a safe place to sleep, and two jobs that pay well so I can eat each day. A hundred times better than just two months ago.”

  “You didn’t have a place to stay?” Seren asked.

  “I didn’t. I worked where I could and did different jobs. I adapted,” she said. She was definitely not liking the conversation’s direction.

  Colby could tell there was more to her life and the danger, and he hoped that she didn’t back down and hide behind that wall she liked to put up. He pulled the truck into the parking lot of McCormick’s Pub and Grill, and it was pretty crowded.

  They all got out and Quincy held her hand as they entered the bar. There were a lot of people there, and of course, Johnny, Frank, and Tom came right over to greet them hello.

  “And who is this?” Tom asked, eyeing Jade over as Shane made the introductions.

  “This is Jade. Jade, meet our good friend, Tom McCormick,” Shane said. Tom shook her hand hello.

  “What’s going on over here?” Johnny asked, coming over with Frank. They introduced them next and Johnny, the character that he was, placed his arm around Jade’s shoulder and started to walk her toward a table in the back.