Hold the Forevers

by K. A. Linde

  He sighed. “That will be wedding number seven this year.”

  “I think that’s sweet,” Kristen said. “Soon, you’ll be planning your own nuptials.”

  I froze at those words and the abrupt change in conversation. A wedding. We’d hadn’t even been together a year. Of course, we’d been together for over two years before, but that had been in college. That was different. Now, I was twenty-seven, and that was kind of the next step in life.

  Not that it was the first time I’d ever thought about it. I’d thought about it with two people. And we were here again, discussing something I actually wanted with Cole. I just didn’t know how to not think of Ash too.

  “Let’s not scare her,” Marley said.

  “I was joking,” Kristen said. “The patriarchy dictates when people get married or if they even do. People can live a perfectly happy life together without some legal piece of paper.”

  “Hear, hear,” Josie said, holding her glass aloft.

  Cole squeezed me tighter, letting the conversation change.

  The rest of the evening was wonderful. And by the time the last person left, we were tired and somehow also buoyant. Cole ordered in Thai for a late dinner, and we sank down into the couch with the pile of presents in front of us. Sunny had overexerted herself with all the attention and was passed out in her bed like the lazy pup she was.

  “Marley said this was for you.”

  “Should I be scared?” he asked, shaking the package.

  “Probably.”

  He tore the paper and then looked skeptical. “Why did Marley get me a rice cooker?”

  I covered my face and burst into laughter. “I might have told her about that time you burned the rice.”

  “Lila!”

  “It was too funny.”

  He poked me in the ribs until I giggled.

  “I surrender!” I gasped.

  He released me and then drew me in for a kiss. “Tonight was special.”

  “It was.”

  “I want nights like this all the time.”

  I nodded and leaned against him. “Me too.”

  “Were you spooked about the wedding talk?” he asked after a second.

  “No …”

  He tilted my chin up until I was looking at him. “Yes, you were.”

  “Okay, maybe a little. But not because I don’t want that.”

  “I’m not proposing today,” he said with a grin.

  “Yeah, but people said that all spring at all of those weddings we went to. They kept pointing at us and being like, ‘You’re next!’”

  “That’s what people do at weddings.”

  “I think it’s weird.”

  “I know you do, Sunflower.”

  “Even if we are next,” I whispered.

  “Technically, Josie is next.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Fine, Josie is next. Again. But I meant that … that future looks possible.”

  “I like to hear you say that,” he said as his lips covered mine. They were hot and needy, as if my words had triggered something in him. As if the thought of marrying me turned him on.

  We made out for a few minutes, his hands roaming my body and both of us getting flushed with the heat. Then, the doorbell rang. I groaned and flopped backward as he went to get dinner.

  He returned with the food and made a space for it on the already-cluttered coffee table. “Before we eat, I did get you a housewarming gift.”

  “What? But it’s your house.”

  “Yeah. So?”

  “You’re ridiculous.”

  He dashed back into our bedroom and came back a minute later with a carefully wrapped package. I took it out of his hands and pretended to shake it to figure out what it was. Just like he had.

  Then I tore back the wrapping paper, ripping the entire front away. I stilled at the title on the book—Little Women. My hand touched the cover. A special-edition leather-bound hardcover that I’d never seen before. It looked old. Really old. The binding was red. The font a small gold embossing. The pages were gold sprayed and stunning.

  I picked the book up, letting the paper drop to the floor.

  “Do you like it?”

  Truthfully, I was speechless. It was the most beautiful copy of Little Women I’d ever seen. A very thoughtful and likely expensive gift. And every other part of me squirmed to be holding a copy from Cole.

  I opened to the first page, half-expecting to find the inscription Always your Laurie written into it, as it was with the nearly dozen copies Ash had given me over the years. But of course, this was from Cole. He’d seen my love of the book. He’d wanted to get me something special. He had no clue that the reason I had so many copies was because Ash always bought them for me. Fuck.

  I read the inscription.

  5.14.16

  Our first house.

  “I know you have a bunch of copies,” Cole said. “But I wanted this one to be ours.”

  Ours.

  “It’s beautiful. I love it. Thank you,” I breathed. I met his blue gaze. “This one is ours.”

  26

  Savannah

  July 9, 2016

  When Steph had gotten married, I’d still been in high school. She’d worn an empire Cinderella gown, and we’d all hated our yellow floor-length dresses. Eve had worn a smart white power suit when she married her wife in Chicago. She’d foregone bridesmaids and told us all to wear casual attire. But Elle was maybe the most stunning of all in a bohemian dress, complete with a flower crown.

  I loved her dress even if the flowing dresses she’d picked for the rest of us looked ridiculous. Not to mention the decision to get married outside in Savannah in July.

  “I’m going to sweat through this before the ceremony,” Steph grumbled.

  Eve crossed her arms. “She should be fucking glad I wore the goddamn dress.”

  “At least she didn’t try to do your hair.”

  Eve looked at me in outrage. “Oh, we already fought about that.” She ran a hand back through her short, slicked-back, bleach-blonde hair.

  “The rest of us have these flowers,” I said, pointing at the thing in my hair.

  “Well, I’m not a pushover.”

  Steph snorted. “Or you’re too stubborn for someone else’s wedding.”

  “Let’s not fight today.”

  Elle appeared then like a vision. She looked like something out of one of those flashy wedding magazines.

  “I think we’re ready,” she said.

  We all shuffled into position. No wedding planner here. Elle had done everything herself, down to the floral arrangements and composing six original pieces for the orchestra she performed with. They’d play for the wedding and then join us for the reception.

  I picked up my eucalyptus bouquet and got into line with Eve and Steph behind me. The groomsmen were waiting at the front of the outdoor pavilion with Elle’s soon-to-be husband, Gary. The orchestra picked up the opening chords, and I began my procession down the aisle. The wedding easily had three hundred people in attendance, plus the orchestra.

  The faces all blurred together as I stepped carefully along the grass path in my heels. My mom was standing at the front with tears in her eyes. Cole was a row behind her, and his smile was brilliant.

  But then I looked across the aisle, and I nearly faltered.

  In the sea of people, Ash Talmadge managed to stand out.

  Cole on one side and Ash on the other.

  The story of my life.

  I looked straight ahead, anxious to get to my place at the front. Despite all of the eyes on me, I could feel them both specifically looking at me. Like fire creeping over my body.

  The two men who had always been in my life.

  And the divide between them felt fragile. As if a nail dragged along the film would rip it in half.

  I rushed straight to Cole as soon as the wedding was over and I was cleared from pictures. Thankfully, the wedding party did not have to walk into the outdoor tent to music. The bride and
groom were about to be announced, and everyone was mingling, waiting for that moment.

  “Hey! Sorry you’ve been alone all day,” I said as I threw myself into his arms.

  He dipped his lips down to meet mine. “It was a beautiful wedding.”

  “Elle was like out of a fairy tale.”

  “She and Gary look so happy.”

  I nodded. “So happy.” Then I bit my lip and looked down. “Sorry about … that other thing too. I didn’t know he’d be here.”

  “Ah, yeah. That was unexpected.”

  “Completely. I didn’t think he even knew Elle.”

  Cole shrugged. “He was on the groom’s side. Must know Gary.”

  “Oh fuck,” I said, smacking my forehead. “He does know Gary. They used to work together. I totally forgot.”

  He arched an eyebrow. “It’s fine. Let’s talk about something other than your ex-boyfriend.”

  “That seems fair.”

  Just then the band announced the bride and groom, Mr. and Mrs. O’Malley. Everyone cheered, and we all settled down to eat. Toasts were given by their maid of honor and best man, and then they stepped right into their first dance. We all oohed and aahed over them before joining them in dancing and drinking.

  I thought we’d make it the entire evening without stumbling into Ash’s path when he walked right up to us as we were getting drinks at the bar.

  “Lila,” he said calmly. There was fire in his eyes when he looked at Cole, but he held his hand out. “Cole.”

  I swallowed, sure that this was going to end in a fistfight, but Cole shook his hand as if it were an everyday occurrence. As if they both didn’t hate each other for how it had all gone down.

  “Ash,” Cole said stiffly.

  “I didn’t know you’d be here,” I said.

  “Gary and I used to work together,” Ash said, supplying the details that I’d already remembered.

  “Right.”

  “You were a beautiful bridesmaid,” he said, all casual. As if the words didn’t make Cole bristle.

  Cole wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “She was, wasn’t she?”

  Ash clenched his jaw, and then it loosened. As if he’d told himself he wouldn’t throw the first punch, but he’d try his hardest to get Cole to do it. “Well, I wanted to come over and say hi. I guess I’ll probably be seeing more of y’all soon.”

  Cole’s hand tightened on my shoulder.

  “You will?” I blurted out. My stomach sank at the prospect. This couldn’t be good.

  “Oh, didn’t your mom tell you?” Ash asked. “I got into the MBA professional program at UGA at the Atlanta campus. I’ll be moving there in August.”

  August.

  In one month’s time, our sanctuary would be shattered. It didn’t matter how big Atlanta was. Distance had never mattered. We always found each other. And once he was there, I knew we’d never be alone again. I didn’t know how to feel about that. Terrified? Relieved? Anxious?

  “She didn’t tell me,” I muttered.

  “Ah, well, now, you know.” He tipped his head at Cole and winked at me. “Have a nice wedding.”

  Then he walked away, leaving tension in his wake.

  “I hate that guy,” Cole said once he was gone.

  “I’m so sorry about that,” I said with a sigh. “I didn’t expect him to be here at all. I know Savannah can feel small, but I don’t know … I definitely didn’t think that he’d come talk to us.”

  “I don’t know why he’d even want to talk to us.”

  “Oh, really?” I asked, turning to look at him. “As if you’d never do that.”

  He gave me a conspiratorial grin. “I didn’t do that on purpose. He did this on purpose.”

  “Uh-huh.”

  Cole pressed another kiss to my lips. “Well, it was worth it to see his face when I showed up in Savannah.”

  “I’m sure he feels the same way right now.”

  Cole shrugged and handed me a drink before taking my other hand and pulling me out onto the dance floor. “He can do whatever he wants. You’re mine now. Now and forever.”

  I nodded and leaned against him as we danced. But over his shoulder, I saw Ash waiting in the wings. He arched an eyebrow at me and smirked. Then he lifted his glass to me as if in cheers. And I wasn’t so sure what was going to happen when he came to Atlanta.

  27

  Savannah

  June 15, 2013

  “Is there anything else that you need me to pick up for the party tonight?” Ash asked through the phone.

  “No, just the list I gave you and your cute self.”

  I was sitting on my mom’s couch, blowing up balloons with the helium tank and looking in dismay at everything else I had to do before the party. I’d been in PT school in Savannah for a year, dating Ash for six months, and despite the sheer amount of work I had to do, I was relieved. It certainly helped that my mother had gotten a donor match and was recovering wonderfully. Hence the call for a celebration!

  “I will be there. Bow tie and all.”

  “Good.” I bit my lip before asking, “Have you heard from your parents about today?”

  Ash was silent for a second before sighing softly. “I don’t think they’re coming.”

  Of course not. Why would they do that?

  “Sure. Okay. No problem.”

  “It’s not that they don’t like you,” Ash insisted. A mantra he’d been continuing with for the last six months but that I wasn’t entirely sure was true. “They’re busy. And they’re … you know …”

  “Stuffy?” I volunteered.

  He chuckled. “Yes. They’d ruin the party anyway.”

  Probably.

  “All right,” I said with a sigh. It was easier to let him think that they weren’t coming because they were stuffy rather than because they didn’t like me and never had.

  “Don’t worry about it. The party is going to be great.”

  “It will be.”

  “I got to the party store. I’ll text you if I can’t find anything.”

  “Sounds good.”

  “Love you.”

  “Love you too,” I said and then hung up.

  My mom strode out of the kitchen. “Was that Ash?”

  I nodded. “He’s picking up the last-minute supplies.”

  “I didn’t know we needed more supplies, but you’re in charge.”

  I pointed my finger at the chair. “You should be resting. The transplant was only a few weeks ago.”

  “I’m fine. Don’t nag,” my mom said, but she sat gratefully in the chair I’d indicated.

  My mom had gotten lucky. A donor came forward after just over a year on the transplant list. I’d matched with Mom, but she’d outright refused to even listen to me. I’d been kind of pushy about it. We’d fought, but the whole thing ended up being unnecessary. But I would have given her my kidney if nothing had come through. Watching her suffer had been horrible.

  The doorbell rang, and I glared at it. Just when I was in the middle of balloons.

  “The party isn’t until six. Who did you invite early?” I asked my mom.

  “No one. It could be Elle or Steph. Eve isn’t in from Chicago yet. She’s going to be cutting it close.”

  I huffed and abandoned my balloon. I dusted off my short-shorts and pulled down my tank before reaching for the door. I swung it open, and then my jaw hit the floor.

  “Cole?” I asked in a strangled voice.

  “Hey, Lila,” he said. His charming smile in place. Those blue eyes as wide and bright as the summer sky. “Surprise!”

  “Um … wow. What are you doing in Savannah?”

  “I was in Atlanta, visiting my family.”

  “Atlanta is four hours away.”

  “Hence the surprise.” He grinned. “I thought I’d have to wrangle where you live now out of your mom, but you’re here?”

  “No, I’m not living at home. I’m just helping my mom today.”

  “Dee, who’s at the door?” my
mom called.

  “No one.”

  “Hello, Mrs. Greer.”

  “Is that Cole?” my mom asked, rising from her seat. “Oh my goodness, it has been too long. Why don’t you come in?”

  “Mom,” I hissed.

  “Oh, let the poor boy in.”

  I breathed out heavily and then held the door all the way open. “Come on in.”

  Cole stepped over the threshold with a smile and went to embrace my mom. My eyes darted behind him, wondering how long I had to get him out of here before Ash showed up. I shut the door and retreated back into the living room. This was going to be a disaster. Fuck me.

  “Dee didn’t tell me that you were going to be here for the party,” my mom said.

  “He’s not here for the party, Mom.”

  “What party?” Cole asked.

  “Oh, she didn’t tell you?”

  “She got her kidney transplant,” I told him. Not that I would have had an opportunity to tell him because, again … we weren’t talking, and I’d had no idea he’d be here.

  “Congratulations!” he gushed. “I’m so happy for you. I know Lila was so worried about your health.”

  My mom actually rolled her eyes. “She worries too much. She wanted to give me her kidney.”

  Cole’s eyes swept to mine. A look of pain crossed his face. I flushed and looked away. It was one thing to try to convince my mom to let me save her life. It was another thing altogether for her to casually drop it to my ex-boyfriend when he knew how much it meant to me.

  “That sounds just like Lila.”

  “Always so giving,” my mom said. “But she needs to take care of herself first. Like moving here for PT school …”

  “Not this again,” I groaned.

  “You had your pick of schools. You could have gone anywhere.”

  “I know, Mom.”

  “You don’t want to get stuck in your hometown when you have everything going for you.”

  “I’m not stuck here.”

  Cole smothered his laughter. “She made the right choice. She needed to be near you.”