Always Forward- Never Straight

by Charley Descoteaux

  It took a moment, but it hit me, one possible answer to that question.

  “Not like a sci-fi movie, no AI or anything. Glorified model planes carrying a camera, flying in programmed routes to maintain home security. Okay, a little more. Alfred’s little brother will be able to do everything he can do, plus scope traffic and weather on your commute route. And a few other things. The cool part is that he’ll be able to text you if he finds anything moving on your property that doesn’t belong or if your fence is down or if it’s snowing.”

  “That sounds…I can’t imagine how hard that was to make. You’re…”

  “I can do one thing well, and one thing only.”

  “I have to argue there. I happen to know you’re good at multiple things. Wait, did you say Alfred has a little brother?”

  “Yes.” I blushed, but that didn’t keep me from following through and telling him what was slated next. “The second generation BaxCo Drone Butler is Lane. After the butler in ‘The Importance of Being Earnest.’ Lane will be functional in about six months. If I keep on schedule.”

  “Do you have any idea how adorable you are right now?”

  “What?”

  “Shit. Oh, sorry, my phone is vibrating.” He pulled it out and stared at it a second, incredulous, reading his screen. “Valerie. She’s inviting us to dinner. Or, really, she’s ordering me to come back and bring you.”

  “That’s…nice of her.”

  “One sec.” He called her. She said “don’t you dare tell me no” instead of “hello”—loudly enough for me to hear without straining. “Tomorrow. Not today.”

  When I started to protest, he pinned me in place with a look I hoped conveyed all I thought it did. I heard the sounds of Valerie speaking, but no more of the actual words. Cay thanked her, hung up, and tossed his phone onto the couch behind me. He wrapped his arms around me again and a sigh vibrated his body.

  “She said if we don’t come tomorrow, she’ll track me down to make sure all’s well. And she’s a morning person.” He shuddered, and I couldn’t help but laugh a little. I hadn’t expected to end the day in his arms, and my relief had to get out somehow.

  Chapter Eight

  Cay

  Before long, we retreated into Bry’s bedroom, but we didn’t fool around. I was exhausted and he seemed to be feeling the effects of the emotional afternoon too. We napped for an hour or so, and when I woke up, the first words out of his mouth were, “I’m sorry.”

  “I don’t want you to apologize to me anymore. I mean, if you roll over my foot with your car or drive one of your drones into my head, then sure, but otherwise… It’s not your fault. I’ll figure something out.”

  “Okay…”

  He tensed, but when I buried my face in his hair and said, “Talk to me,” he didn’t hesitate.

  “He—Rob—when he would hit me…at first I told him it was wrong. Even fought back. But he said it was my fault. If I wasn’t so…whatever it was that ticked him off that night…then he wouldn’t have any reason to. Eventually, it was always one of those nights. So I left. But before that, I guess I got into the habit of apologizing. What I mean is, I’ll try not to, but can’t promise much.”

  “Asshole. I bet he’s bigger than you too.”

  Bryan snorted softly. Almost a laugh. “He’s bigger than you too.”

  “Well, that’s a shame.”

  “I thought you’ve never…you know, been violent.”

  “Wouldn’t hurt to make one exception.” I squeezed Bry in my arms, wishing I could take that back. “Except it probably would.”

  “I haven’t seen him in four years.” His voice cracked, he sounded afraid again, and there’s no way I would let that stand.

  “Hey. What was that?”

  Bry shook his head and snuggled against my chest. “It’s dumb.”

  “You don’t have to tell me.” I took a deep breath and decided to be honest. “But we need to talk more. Music, books, movies…all that stuff is cool, but I want you to feel like you can tell me anything, Bry.”

  His body stilled, maybe he held his breath for a few moments before releasing it on a sigh.

  “You’re right. I want that too. It’s not easy but… I don’t feel that way anymore, but I loved Rob. When I left, he didn’t seem to care. At first, that was…hard to take. Even though I knew I should have been glad he was out of my life, it hurt. Rosie, she helped me see how self-destructive that was, when part of me wanted to see him. I’m over it now, but once in a while it still surfaces. Apparently.

  “The marathon—half marathon—was a huge step. He made me think I was fat and lazy and basically worthless. I’m still working on getting his voice out of my head, but the exercise itself has been…beneficial to that end.”

  “Val tells me I was running to get away from the cubicle. And that working there was killing me.”

  Bryan looked at me, his eyes wide with questions.

  “She’s not wrong. Customer service is honest work, but I always thought I’d be something more. I guess. I don’t know. Special?”

  “A musician. Also honest work.”

  “If I’m going to be completely honest, getting fired…part of me was relieved. And that was hard to swallow.”

  “Understandable. You have Mac to care for.”

  I waited in case he wanted to say more. I didn’t really know what to say to him after he bared his soul to me like that, so I thanked him for telling me. We cuddled a little, but something kept nagging at me.

  “So, his name is Rob?”

  “Yeah…why?”

  “Nothing. I just…” Damn. If I expect him to talk, guess I have to do the same. “I expected a name like Butch or Bruce or…”

  “Oh. Something that sounds tough. Violent. A name that would be a warning.”

  “That’s not what I meant. A name that doesn’t sound so…normal? I don’t know what I meant, but not that you should have known. So don’t go there.”

  He squeezed my ribs so hard it hurt a little, and when I wriggled a bit, I realized he was laughing. “What?”

  “Don’t go there?”

  “My best friend is a fifteen-year-old girl.”

  “Gotcha.”

  “I mean…she’s—”

  “I get it. Being a dad is a big deal. I have two nephews and a niece—honorary, they’re Rosie’s kids. So I sort of get it.”

  “She really digs you. Refused to believe you would do what Holden said you did.”

  “Next time I see her, I’ll have to thank her. Or maybe bring some Mexican food.”

  “Or chocolate.”

  “Done.”

  Bryan’s hand slid from my lower back to my ass, and when he squeezed, I moaned. I knew I was lucky to be there, and I planned to make that clear to him—immediately, and every chance I got for the foreseeable future.

  Chapter Nine

  Bryan

  The next day—the day after the man of my dreams and I exchanged “I love yous” oh, and I spilled my guts about the worst parts of my life—I woke in his arms. Cay kissed me awake and then broke the news that we needed to get up soon and head over to his daughter’s home. He softened me up with a nice blowjob—well, softened is the wrong word for what he did to me—but I was putty in his hands, and we both knew it.

  And what’s more, it didn’t scare me. After spending the better part of the past decade afraid of things, that knowledge was like an anvil dropping from my shoulders. Even if I was intimidated by Mac’s mother.

  “So…” I got Cay’s attention gently since he still hadn’t opened his eyes after coming. “We’re going to see Mac’s mom?”

  “Val. Valerie Ueda. If that’s okay with you. She really wants us to. And by that, I mean, if we don’t, she’ll come over.”

  “So—”

  “She doesn’t know where you live. Details like that rarely stop her.”

  “Well, then. I wasn’t arguing. I was going to ask ab
out her last name. Ueda?”

  “It’s Japanese. She says it means above, top—as in she’s above it all, the top of the heap—but her dad says it’s just another of the many ways to say rice field.” He opened his eyes and smiled. “Don’t tell her I said that.”

  “Okay.”

  Cay raised his arm and somehow had his phone in his hand. I thought he’d left it on the couch, but there it was. “I’d suggest a shared shower, but she’s already texted me twice.”

  “I’ll be quick.”

  “You’re going first?” He might have tried to look hurt but was having trouble keeping from laughing.

  “It’s my shower.”

  He didn’t need to know that I’d skipped showering altogether the day before if he hadn’t already guessed as much. I grinned and gave him a peck on the lips and before I could jump out of bed he hooked a hand under my arm and stopped me. Cay wore an apologetic smile. but I only saw it for a second before his lips found mine for a real kiss.

  It seemed like only moments later we stood at the door to an apartment in a fairly nice building. A staff of rainbow-colored musical notes marched across the welcome mat. I expected Cay to open the door, or at least knock, but he only stood there staring at the closed door.

  I took his hand and he swallowed audibly. “You okay?”

  “Yeah. Before we go in. If she acts…cold…it’s not you.”

  I raised my eyebrows to invite him to elaborate, but the door opened before he could. I registered it was Mac as she hugged me. Hard. Like Rosie’s kids had when they were small and something scared them.

  “Good morning,” Mac said into my shoulder. “I’m glad you came.”

  I returned her embrace, and Cay joined us. “Me too, Mac.”

  A formidable woman came to stand in the tiny foyer. Tiny almost described her too—she couldn’t be more than five-five. She’d looked taller on stage but was no less intimidating for her lack of height. She also looked prettier close-up, and a little older with a few strands of white in her sleek black hair. As it dawned on me that she was sizing me up too, Cay stepped away and cleared his throat. It sounded equal parts nervous and theatrical.

  “Val, Bry. You haven’t been formally introduced—”

  Mac laughed, softly, and must have shoved Cay because he bumped into my back.

  “Spare me,” Val drawled. “Let’s all go sit.” She turned and stalked away.

  Cay took my hand, and we followed. Mac too, fortunately, so things would likely remain civil. Val sat at the head of an oblong table that filled the small dining area attached to a galley kitchen that smelled like breakfast. As we reached the table, she stood.

  “Sorry. I didn’t mean that to sound so…snotty. I’m glad you’re here. Both of you.”

  We mumbled our thanks and took seats along the side closest the door. The side where we weren’t sitting with our backs against the wall, anyway. Mac sat at the head—or the foot?—of the table, and I couldn’t help but wonder if she put herself on my side intentionally.

  “Did you work it out?”

  We barely had time to nod before she continued.

  “Good, because I don’t know what you were thinking—not sharing the basic info like jobs and…whatever else you haven’t talked about.” She stood and paced into the kitchen and a few seconds later a coffeemaker started burbling. Val returned to the table but wasn’t any less intimidating than she had been when she left.

  Cay seemed to gather himself to speak, straightening his back and pulling in a breath, but Val raised a hand and he relaxed back into his chair.

  “Mac is on my health insurance as of yesterday, so no worries there. And Tash wants you to call him about the studio gig.”

  I turned to Cay, grateful to be focused on him instead of Val. Her intensity shone a little too brightly for first thing in the morning.

  “Studio gig?”

  Val leaned both elbows on the table and rested her chin in her palms. So much of my concentration had returned to her, I nearly flinched when Cay turned to me. By the big, warm hand that quickly found and squeezed my thigh, I realized “nearly” was a tad optimistic.

  “Tash owns the studio Always Forward! records in. He’s been trying to get me in for part-time work for years. But—” He turned to Val. “—I need full-time.”

  “Maybe not. At least not immediately. Talk to Tash and see what he’s offering. Let me crunch a few numbers. I’m thinking I can at least get you a sabbatical.”

  I barely restrained myself from saying he could move in with me. To save money, sure, but I wanted every morning to be at least as good as this one. I didn’t realize I wanted it so badly until the disappointment of not asking settled in.

  Mac bumped my shoulder with hers. When I turned, she smiled at me, her exquisitely sculpted brows raised. I shook my head—only the tiniest bit—and she winked. I had the feeling she’d read my mind, but even if that wasn’t scary in itself, I didn’t want to discuss my innermost thoughts and desires in front of her mom. At least not before discussing them with Cay.

  After a short, tense silence—in which Val and Cay seemed to have a conversation the rest of us weren’t privy to—Val stood. She took a lingering look at the table and announced breakfast was ready as a timer dinged in the kitchen. Mac helped bring place settings and a colorful frittata in a cast iron pan that was almost as large as the leaf in the center of the table. The way Val handled the frying pan, muscles in her arms bulging but otherwise as though it weighed no more than a dinner plate, swung my feelings for her back into the severely intimidated range. Something else Mac seemed to pick up on and find amusing.

  Slowly, as we ate the delicious meal, conversation wandered from the band to a community art class Mac wanted to take, and back onto us—Cay and me. Val shot Cay a warning, or maybe an assessing look, and then gestured with her fork.

  “Does he always take the lead, Bryan? Or do you guys take turns?”

  I blushed because her eyes asked a slightly different question than who drives when we go out. “I’m fine following. It’s a departure for me.”

  “Is it, now? Because leading is a departure for Cay.”

  “Val.” Cay didn’t quite whine—okay, he whined like his big sister was telling tales out of school, stretching her name into two syllables.

  “It’s true, and you know it. You’ve never gone after anyone in your life until now. That might be the kind of thing you two should talk about.” She scooped the last bite of eggs from her plate and paused with it halfway to her mouth. “Just saying.”

  My blush deepened, but I answered anyway. “Until now, I’ve always been the pursuer. It’s nice to be pursued for a change.” I smiled at Cay, and we leaned in for a short kiss.

  He didn’t pull back far, which made it difficult to breathe.

  “At the race? I ran into you on purpose.” He smiled and kissed my heated cheek, his hand squeezing my thigh.

  Mac sighed to my left and Val’s fork came to rest on her plate with a clatter. When I could tear my eyes from Cay’s, Val was grinning at us.

  “That’s what I’m talking about.” She nodded.

  We stayed for a couple of hours, until Val had to leave for rehearsal, and by the time we left, I’d started believing she approved of me—of us.

  Chapter Ten

  Cay

  I knocked on Bryan’s door with one hand on the knob, and it was all I could do not to open it without giving him the chance to answer. He probably wouldn’t mind—we had basically said we were in a committed relationship—but then we’d had a busy week and had to cancel every plan we made. Except for the late-night phone sex.

  My tired muscles relaxed when I thought about that, even the ones in my neck that had been stiff from bending over the soundboard for the past eighteen hours. My man gives good phone sex.

  The door opened, pulling the knob from my hand and forcing me to stumble forward a step to keep from doing a faceplant.

&
nbsp; “Didn’t you hear me say to come in?” Bryan didn’t wait for an answer; instead he grabbed my wrist and pulled me inside.

  The door closed behind me, and I sagged against it, sighing.

  “No, sorry. Too busy replaying our last phone call in my head.”

  His breathless laugh startled me, my reflexes were so slow I hadn’t noticed him coming in for a kiss, but I recovered well, all things considered.

  “You should’ve just come over,” he said when he pulled back seconds later. Bry kept talking as he brought me to the couch and sat down. “But I see why you wanted to collapse in the nearest bed. Are you okay?”

  “Yeah. Just tired.” I stretched my legs and my feet hit a box. A packing box. “Um…are you moving?”

  Bryan grinned and his face tightened at the same time, like he was nervous. That expression had my heart knocking against my ribs so hard I felt like I’d pass out.

  “Yes. But it’s a good thing. Can I get you something to drink while we talk about it?”

  I shook my head and that didn’t help with the dizziness.

  “Hey, it’s okay. Cay? Look at me instead of the boxes please?”

  I did, but it wasn’t easy. The fact that I found out by seeing boxes in his living room didn’t exactly inspire the warm fuzzies.

  “Thank you. I’m moving to Tigard. Well, technically, it’s outside of the city limits, but the address is—It’s a house. A big house, with a barn where the band could rehearse, or maybe we could get Mac a horse. That might be fun.”

  Bry stopped with his mouth open and his ears turned red as he slowly closed it. I watched him take a deep breath, and my heart stopped stuttering from fear and went squishy from something else.

  “What I meant to say is, BaxCo bought a house in the country—sort of in the country—and I’d planned to ask you to move into it with me. Rosie wanted us to buy it four years ago, but I wasn’t ready. It sounded like a lot of work to keep up a house all by myself—”

  He stopped abruptly—again—and grabbed me into a hug. A crushing hug that for some reason made me laugh. My arms shook as I wrapped them around him, but that didn’t seem to bother him.