“You know what? Why don't we call Chad and Alison and see if they want to go with us?”
“Sure, you call Chad. Like you said, my phone is getting turned off now.”
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Lori spotted Chad and Alison waiting in front of the bakery. “There they are. Oh, I guess you can see them. Sorry.”
“Do you often help drive from the passenger seat.” Trey pulled into the parking spot in front of the bakery.
She ignored his question. What could she say, that she was seldom in the passenger seat? And never with someone as attractive as Trey?
Chad opened the door of the crew cab for Alison and waited for her to climb in before he followed. “Hey you two.”
“I was going to bring some cupcakes for you, but I left them on the counter. Should I go back?” Alison smelled like vanilla and cinnamon.
Lori’s stomach rumbled. “No, not for me. I love them but I need to fit into that bridesmaid dress.”
“What about you Trey? Would you like them?”
“I would, but I’ll get them when we get back. Anytime I don’t have to cook for Brent, and I is a good day.”
Lori flashed her teacher look at Trey. They’d talked about his ordering take out for Brent more than once. He didn’t notice. “Where is Doug today?”
“He's with Chad's parents. This will be fun. I'm glad you called. We both need some anti-stress wedding relief. Horseback riding seems like a really good idea. All I've been thinking about are centerpieces, and should we use chair ties or not, and if yes should they be green or red?”
“This from a woman who made fun of traditional weddings when I first met her. I believe she called them hooplas.” Chad gathered Alison's hand in his.
A smudge of envy tugged at Lori’s heart. She forced a smile into her voice. “Trey thought of it. I wasn't sure what to do. I needed to get away for a little bit, give Lucy some space. Hey, did you know Sandra is back?”
“Joel's grandma?”
“Yes, she surprised us today. That's why I needed a place to go. She and Lucy are catching up at the lake house.”
“You know you can always come to the Pumpkin Moon. You don't have to get a cupcake. Feel free to grab a table and read or work on school papers. I wouldn't mind. Besides it helps make the place look busy from the outside, so make sure it's a table by the window.”
“I could do that.” And she should have. Instead she’d run to Trey. What was happening to her? Seeking help from him wasn’t her normal way of doing things. Eating cupcakes? You bet.
“I'm glad Sandra is back. Deni told me that Lucy and her grandmother are close. Do you think she'll move in with them now that she and Kevin are back?”
“I don't know. Do they even have room for her in their house? I know the other house is rented. Besides, it's working out alright having her stay with me.” Or it was until today. What if Deni told Lucy to leave? No, she wouldn't do that. Deni's gentle heart wouldn't let her.
“But what about when the baby comes? Are you fine with being woken up every few hours?” Chad groaned. “That stage seems to last forever, or it did with Doug.”
Lori turned back to the front. She couldn't say anything about Lucy and Evan, and she didn't want to lie. “Guess we'll find out.”
“You used to live in St. Louis. Have you ever been horseback riding at this place?” Chad said.
“Yes, when I was little, we used to go to the stables. Then in college, Deni and I went once.” They hadn't tried again because it caused Deni too much pain in her injured leg. “The horses are sweet. The guides don't let the riders do more than trot for a short time though. I'd kind of like to try to see if I can go faster, hit a canter, and then a gallop and still stay on, but they don't let you do that on the trail horses.”
“That's a relief. I'm not sure I want to be on the back of a horse at top speed, if that's the right word. I'm not up on my horse language, but if you want to talk cupcakes...” Alison laughed.
“You always want to talk cupcakes. Does your mind ever stop thinking of how to make a new version?”
“Not so far. Right now, I'm incorporating zucchini in a new recipe.”
“A healthy cupcake?” Trey groaned. “The world has gone health mad.”
“But what if you could have two instead of one for the same calorie count? Would that interest you? I'm thinking about making some without sugar, using stevia instead.”
“That does not make this man happy. Give me my sugar and double the icing. Are you sure you want to marry her, Chad? Sounds like some changes might be coming your way.”
“Everything she does in the kitchen comes out great. So yeah, I'm in for both the sugarless healthy cupcakes and the sweet love of Alison.”
Trey groaned. “Too sugary for me. Pass the stevia.”
Lori agreed with him but didn't say anything. Instead she stared at his profile wondering what it would be like to be kissed by a man with a beard.
CHAPTER TWENTY
At the park Alison and Chad held hands on the way into the stable. Chad leaned close and whispered something into her ear making her laugh. Uncomfortable, Trey watched them, wishing he hadn't seen their affectionate display. Maybe it had been a mistake to bring them along. He wasn't sure being around a couple in full-bloom love was a good idea. They brought up the possibility that his parents were right about soul mates.
Sure, he wanted to spend time with Lori and get to know her better. Talk about photography and why she wasn't doing it professionally and how she had learned her people tricks. But he’d allowed Lori to climb into his thoughts and heart further than he’d allowed anyone else, but there was something she was keeping secret. He needed to know more before he gave his whole heart. Needed to remember that before he put a ring on her finger. And then the push for the next Trey to be born would start.
Did she even want kids? He moved away from her, but the tips of his fingers brushed hers, sending a burning jolt through him. Traitorous body. Maybe it was his age and the fact that everyone around him was married or about to be. Didn't matter. He would keep his heart protected from the lovely Lori.
The guide led a gray horse to the line and stopped in front of Lori. “This one's for you.”
“What's her name?”
“Cindy Lou.”
Trey held back a snort. People named their horses the strangest things.
“Cute, like the Dr. Seuss character.”
“I don't know, maybe. You need a hand getting on?”
Trey stepped forward. “I'll help her mount.” No way would he let another man touch her. So much for keeping his distance.
“I can get on a horse by myself, thank you both.”
Trey stepped back. “As you wish.”
“Princess Bride. One of my favorite movies.” She flashed a smile his way that broke a piece of the lock on the cage he’d just installed on his heart.
“Uh, yeah. Mine, too.” He climbed up on his horse, not bothering to ask its name. With his luck it would be something like Cupid.
Lori was in front of him. He had no way of avoiding watching her ride, but it was a good position to be in. This way he could observe her without being detected. And he found the view in front of him pleasant. Not to mention what the wafting sweet scent of whatever lotion she must be wearing did to him.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Lori squirmed in the creaking saddle. Trey might as well be breathing down her neck, no matter that he was on a horse behind her. Did that make it a whole horse length or one and a half? She took a deep breath and let it out while stroking the horse’s mane. What was Trey thinking about? Was he afraid to be alone with her and that's why he suggested an outing with friends? Maybe. She was afraid to be alone with him to. Feelings were springing up that she didn't want to experience, didn't allow herself too, ever. She’d sworn to never to let someone back in her life that she might possibly love.
The possibility it was happening anyway and she couldn’t—didn’t want to stop it,
scared her. What was she going to do if she fell in love with him? Her first marriage had been a travesty. She'd been running away from circumstances she had no control over. She'd thought leaving would change things, and the numbness she carried with her would disappear. Dad had been right about the annulment. The marriage would never have worked. They were both so young and flawed. So full of grief, looking for anything to remove the pain, plus all the planning and sneaking around had cloaked it. And Jeremy? His parents were abusive, he wanted to escape, but did he ever love her? He hadn’t put up a fight about the annulment, so maybe not.
Dad had packed her suitcase and sent her to her aunt’s despite her pleas asking for forgiveness. He even thought she’d broken her vow to wait until marriage and didn’t believe her when she said she hadn’t. He made her take off her purity ring but didn’t demand it back. When she’d arrived at her aunt’s she’d strung a necklace through it and had worn it ever since.
She and her dad managed to exchange terse happy birthday greetings, usually timed, so they'd end up in a voicemail, and the postman delivered the Christmas presents. She didn't want to admit it, but she missed her dad. She'd like to tell him he was right, and she was wrong, but there was no going back. Not after the words they'd said to each other.
Fallen leaves of red and gold splashed across the ground covering the trail. A few clung on the tree branches overhead. Before long they would fall as well. No one spoke. Only the clop of the horses’ hooves on the dirt path and squeak of the leather saddles made sound. Everyone seemed deep in thought. Alison was probably thinking about her wedding, but for the two men she had no idea. Maybe wishing they could make the horses run faster.
What is she going to tell Deni? This is exactly why she tried to get away, to do something fun. Not to have to think about this situation. And now she was stuck on a horse with nothing but time to think.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
That night, Lori curled up on her bed. She’d been listening to Deni go back and forth on why or why not Lucy should give the baby to her and Joel. Lori had responded the best she could, but now all she could offer were one-word answers. She hurt for her long-time friend and for her new one, but there were no answers she could give.
“Are you still there?” Deni's voice trembled.
“Of course.” Except she had stopped paying attention. Instead, she'd been thinking about Trey. On that horse. She'd turned to say something to him, and her breath caught. He sat straight on the back of that horse, and yet, he looked like he was at home on his couch all comfortable. Then he'd smiled at her. She'd whipped back around, hoping he hadn't noticed the flush she'd felt creeping up her face. All that man needed was a cowboy hat and he could have modeled for a romance cover. One she'd pick up and stare at over and over.
“So what do you think?”
Great. She'd drifted off in thought again. “I think Trey is the one and I don’t know what to do.”
“What changed? Tell me everything.”
Her shoulders relaxed. She'd successfully changed the subject, but now she'd be talking about something else she had intended to keep quiet about.
“We went horseback riding today, and then there was that photo shoot we did with the dog in St. Louis. I don't know what he thinks about me, and Deni, do not be trying to find out. I'll admit to liking him, but I'm not ready for a relationship. You know that.”
“But you could be.”
There was too much in her past though. And until she healed those wounds, she wouldn't be ready for anything more than an afternoon riding horses. “Maybe someday, but not yet.”
“I'll drop it for now, but it's time you fixed your relationship with your dad.”
“Probably.”
“I can tell you don't want to talk about the baby. I'm sorry. I know I've stuck you right in the middle, especially since you live with Lucy.”
“Deni, I love you like a sister, and I wish this would have worked out for you and Joel.”
“But?”
“Ha, you heard it coming.”
“Loud and clear.”
“But you have to give Lucy grace. Living with her I can hear her crying at night. Sometimes she has nightmares, and I have to go to her room and wake her. She says it's, well...that's something she would have to tell you. Not me. If she could change what happened, she would. But she can't. She's torn because she wants this child, but she is also scared of doing it alone.”
“She's not going to be alone. Joel and I will help her with anything she and the baby needs. Plus, she has Grams and Kevin and her parents. I'm sorry, I've been whining to you all night, but I can't get my angst out with Joel. This is his sister. If it had been anyone else, he'd have been in the same mood I've been in.”
“Then you need to tell her. And do it before the bachelorette party this weekend. I know it's been hard on the two of you, but it's difficult being stuck in the middle.”
“Thanks for listening to me, Lori. I'm grateful to have you as my friend.”
“Deni, I'll always be here for you. But I'm also going to be there for Lucy. I didn't think living together was going to be a good idea, but it's turned out to be.”
“Please pray about calling your dad. Maybe even talking to Trey about the past?”
Her breath caught in her throat. Both things terrified her. She'd love to talk to her dad, but his rejection would send her back into that dark hole of depression. And telling Trey? She couldn't bear to see the look on his face and lose his friendship.
Evan reached for her hand. She moved her hand behind her back. He'd shown up even though she'd told him not to come over, that she didn’t want to see him or talk to him ever again. She'd said she didn’t care about his reason for letting her down. There's no way he was going to be able to make this up to her. He had disappointed her for the last time. “I told you I don't want to see you.”
“Come on, Lucy Belle, I just want to show you something. Please. And you promised me I could come with you to see the baby. You never break your promises.”
Drat his puppy dog eyes. No, she would avoid his gaze. She looked at the sky overhead. The sun made her eyes water. “You're right. I said you could take me, and you did show up at the right time. I won’t go back on my word, but I should have left earlier. I don't know what you could show me that would be of any help to this situation.”
“I told you. I didn't forget and I couldn't call. I'm sorry that I wasn't there to help you tell your brother about the baby. I was on my way out the door, but then Scott stopped me. He was in the middle of a sale. He needs that commission. His wife called and said she had to take their son to the hospital. What was I supposed to do? Scott's son has been sick, and they've been running a lot of tests. They still haven't found the answers they need to make him better. Should I have told him no? That I couldn't help him?”
“Of course not.” She hated the snap in her voice. “I wouldn't have wanted you to. All you had to do was call me. I could have gone another time. This conversation didn't have to happen that moment.”
“Then why didn't you wait, or call me?”
“It was too late, Deni saw me, probably the moment I passed their security camera. Lucy tapped her foot on the gravel driveway. “Besides, you wouldn't have answered. You said you weren't able to call me so why would you answer my call? Anyway, I decided since you hadn't come, you weren't going to be involved like you promised.”
“That's not fair, Lucy. We're just getting reacquainted, and you don't know who I am anymore. I'm not that guy from college who doesn't stand up for what he believes in or isn't loyal to the people he loves.”
She sucked in a breath and hiccupped. “Love? Are you saying you love me?” Those puppy dog eyes drew her in, she didn't think she could escape his desire and her need. And it scared her. She’d been denying her feelings of love for him.
Afraid he wouldn’t love her.
Afraid she would disappoint him.
Afraid it would all come crashing down when the bab
y arrived.
“Yes, that's what I'm saying. If you would see me for who I am, the man who loved you before, never forgot you, and still loves you. And I haven't asked you if you love me. I'm giving you time for that.”
Was her fear pushing him away like Grams had said? “What do you have to show me?”
“It's in the car.”
“We don't have time for a road trip before the appointment.” She ran her hand through her hair and for a moment felt surprised that her braid was no longer there. A reminder that she wasn’t the same, she had changed and not just her hair. Evan had a lot to do with that.
“I said it's in the car, not that we are getting into it. Not at least until you let me explain. But first, come with me?”
She did love surprises, and Evan had been good at them in the past. She followed him to the car.
He opened the door to the back seat. “Look inside.”
Her heart skipped a beat. Evan bought a car seat, an infant car seat, one you would bring home a baby from the hospital in. She hadn't even done that yet. The realization that he had taken time and money to provide for a child that wasn't even his hit her hard. He did love her, and he loved this baby she was carrying. Like his own? She didn't know, but he certainly was trying. She hugged her baby bump. The two of them were loved. She turned and opened her arms. Evan stepped forward, and she hugged him. “I love you too. I want this to work, but how are we going to do it? Should we tell everyone? Is it too soon?”
“We'll do whatever you want, Lucy Belle. If it were up to me, I'll go to the courthouse right now and marry you, but I'd rather have it be special.”
“But it's so close to Chad and Alison's wedding date. I don't want to take anything away from them. Let me think about it. And I don't want a courthouse wedding. I want our friends and family there, but I know I don't want a big wedding. But I do, or did. Evan, I don’t know what I want.” Her eyes burned from tears she tried to keep from falling.
A Time to Heal Page 13