Broken Trust : Pacific Prep

by R. A. Smyth

  Wrong!

  We can’t all have picture perfect families like him. Why the fuck would I want to know what teen mom or druggie parents decided they didn’t want me?

  “I don’t want to know who they are,” I blurt out, before he can tell me anything I know I don’t want to hear, looking pointedly at the floor, not wanting to see the judgment on his face. This is my decision to make. If I don’t want to know, then I don’t want to know. That’s my prerogative. I won’t let him make me feel bad for that.

  He nods his head. “I get that.” There’s something in his voice that makes me look back at him. I can’t place it, but when my eyes connect with his, it’s like he gets me, understands my need to not know.

  His lips press together, a pained expression flashing across his face. “But, in this case, I think you need to know.”

  What the fuck does that even mean?

  “Ever since you showed up, I’ve been noticing things. Small—”

  “Nope,” I snap, my sharp tone cutting him off as I shake my head vigorously. “No. Get out! I don’t want to hear any of this.” Striding toward him, I’m not even able to enjoy that usual calming energy between us as I slam my hands against his chest, failing miserably at shoving him toward the door. The fucker doesn’t budge an inch, standing his ground as I continue to push against him.

  His hands come up, his long fingers wrapping around my upper arms in a tight grip, holding me in place as he gives me a quick shake.

  “Hadley.” His voice is a firm bark and I slowly lift my eyes to meet his, my head shaking side to side as I silently beg him not to say anything more. I know. I just fucking know his next words are going to eviscerate me. I can already feel the cracks as my world explodes around me. Hasn’t he done enough damage? Does he need to inflict more pain on me?

  I can see he doesn’t relish in being the bearer of this news, but, despite the regret in his eyes, he hardens his resolve, sticking to his guns. He doesn’t give a shit how much this is going to fuck me up, he’s going to tell me, anyway.

  “I honestly thought I was imagining things. I didn’t think anything would come of it,” he murmurs, more to himself than to me. “It was a long shot, ruling out an impossibility, more than anything else.”

  I don't say anything. I’m incapable of saying anything, the lump in my throat blocking any words I might have. I feel completely numb, his words coming at me through a dense, incomprehensible fog.

  “Hawk is your brother.”

  Silence reigns in the room, his words bouncing around in my head as I stare at him stupidly, my mouth agape as I struggle to comprehend his words.

  “What?” I croak, frowning at him. There’s no way I heard him right. “What did you say?”

  That numb, earth-shattering feeling is quickly receding, the familiar fire of anger replacing it.

  “Do you think I’m fucking stupid?” I snap, shoving him once again in the chest, shaking off his grip on my arms. “Do you seriously think I’d fall for that shit after everything you guys have done to me?”

  I bark out a sharp, caustic laugh as I take a step back from him, shaking my head as I increase the distance between us. My heart reshapes and hardens with every inch of space I create.

  “Playing the family card?” I growl, every muscle in my body quivering with uncontrollable rage. “That’s so fucking low of you! I expect this shit from Hawk, even Cam, but you?” Sneering at him, I shake my head in disappointment.

  “What? No!” he exclaims, but I’m not hearing any of it. I can’t bear to listen to another fucking word that comes out of his mouth.

  “I get that you all sit up there in your ivory tower, having a laugh at the rest of us plebs down here trying to survive one day to the next, but you have no idea how fucking difficult it is to go through life without knowing who your family are. Not knowing who you are, or where you come from, and the fact you’d do all this as some sick joke is just fucking disgusting.” I’m yelling by the time I’m done, my chest heaving as I glare at him. I’m practically vibrating with anger, so fucking done with their shit and pissed off with myself for expecting anything more from any of them. They aren’t capable of being decent human beings. Tonight just proves that.

  “I thought you were better than that,” I sneer, glowering at him with hate-filled eyes. “But I guess I was wrong.”

  “Hadley, no—”

  “Get out!” I demand, cutting him off once again. When he still doesn’t seem to be getting the message, I make it super fucking obvious for him.

  “GET THE FUCK OUT!” I yell, my fingers wrapping around the first object they find, throwing it across the room. The fact that my aim misses only pisses me off further.

  Seeing how close I am to going full psycho on his ass, he finally concedes, dropping his gaze from mine. With a final sigh and shake of his head, he turns on his heel, not looking back as he lets himself out of my room.

  I storm after him, slamming the door shut and flicking the lock behind him, my legs giving out beneath me as I slide down the door, my hands shaking as I curl into a ball on the floor, an uncontrollable wave of emotion crashing over me. I’ve been holding myself at bay for so long. I think I just finally found my breaking point.

  I don’t know how long I lie there, curled up in the fetal position by the door, completely numb to everything around me. When the tears finally stop and I feel like I can get back to my feet, I make my way over to the bed, intent on crawling under the covers and blocking out the rest of the world, hoping the sweet oblivion of sleep will claim me quickly.

  The crinkling of something underneath me as I drop onto the covers, has me rummaging around in the sheets, trying to find what I’m lying on. Pulling out the envelope from underneath me, I stare at it for a long moment, torn between seeing what’s inside and chucking the whole thing in the trash.

  I told West I don’t want to know. But is that the truth? I spent my whole life wondering who my parents were, and the answers are right here in front of me, in some stupid non-descript envelope. It’s not like knowing is really going to change anything. They’re probably long dead by now. Even if they aren’t, it’s not like I have to go track them down.

  I stare unseeingly at the envelope for a while, going back and forth before curiosity finally wins out and I tear open the sealed tab, pulling out the small pile of papers. Looking at the first page, it’s headed with the name of some sort of lab. Okay, not quite what I was expecting to find. Scanning through it, most of it is a bunch of medical jargon I don’t understand, however, one paragraph sticks out.

  Find enclosed a detailed analysis of the provided DNA samples. We can confirm that the DNA provided by one Hadley Parker and one Hawk Davenport share common markers, indicating the tested individuals are biologically related.

  Shuffling through the other pages, they all say something along the same lines, all of them reports from different labs. Spreading the papers out on the bed, I sit and stare at them for a long time. What does this mean? Is this all an elaborate prank? What if it’s not?

  Noticing an address and phone number at the bottom of each of the reports, I do a quick google search. When nothing suspicious stands out, I grab my phone off the bedside table and dial the number for the first lab. When a receptionist answers, confirming it is in fact Synex Labs, I do the same with the second and third reports, getting the same corroborating response.

  With my head spinning, my thoughts jumping all over the place, I gather the papers in my hand and storm toward the door, intent on getting some actual answers from the assholes themselves. There’s no way I’ll be able to focus on anything else until I get to the bottom of this.

  Flinging open my bedroom door, I freeze when West falls backward into my room.

  “What the—” I stare down at him in confusion. He must have been sitting on the floor, leaning against my door. How long has he been sitting there for? Has he been here since I kicked him out?

  “What is this?” I demand as he climbs to hi
s feet, shoving the papers against his chest.

  “I tried to tell you,” he snarks, glaring at me as he throws his hands up in the air. “I believe you didn’t want to listen to me.”

  “Well, I’m all ears now,” I throw back, crossing my arms and planting my feet, waiting impatiently for him to explain himself.

  “I told you.” He sighs, jerking his head toward the papers. “Hawk’s your brother.”

  “You tested his DNA?”

  “Yeah, against yours.”

  “How did you even get mine?” I demand before quickly changing my mind. “Actually, don’t answer that. I’d rather not know. I don’t understand what made you even think to do that.”

  “I’m perceptive.” He shrugs, like that explains anything. “I pay attention.”

  “What the fuck does that mean?”

  “I noticed things. You have Hawk’s eyes. You both have fucking awful tempers.”

  “Are you serious? That’s all you had?”

  He sighs heavily, gritting his teeth. “It was more than that, but it’s hard to explain. Like I said, I honestly thought it was all in my head, but Mason and Cam picked up on it too. They mentioned something off-hand about how similar you both were, and it got me thinking. I started paying more attention, and that’s when I sent the samples off. It was an off chance that I may be on to something. I honestly didn’t expect to be right.”

  I don’t know how long we stand there; me lost in my own thoughts, openly staring at West with an unfocused gaze as his words echo in my head, nothing really resonating with me.

  I have a brother? And not just any brother, but fucking Hawk, a fucking asshole who I hate. Of course my luck is that shitty.

  “What does this mean?” I eventually murmur.

  He gives me a small, sympathetic, half-smile, his hand reaching out as though he’s going to, I don’t know, comfort me? Whatever it was he was going to do, he decides against it, dropping his arm back to his side.

  “I don’t know,” he answers softly, giving a small shake of his head as he shrugs his shoulder.

  Licking my lips, I nervously ask, “Have you told Hawk?”

  “No.” His reply is instant. “I haven’t talked to anyone about this. I figured you’d want to know first.”

  I’m surprised he put me above his friend like that. I don’t understand why he would, but I appreciate his thoughtfulness. It gives me time to come to terms with this bomb drop and prepare for Hawk’s backlash.

  “I need to tell him, though. He has a right to know. I, uh...I wasn’t sure if you would wanna be there when I talk to him?”

  “No, definitely not.” I adamantly shake my head. “It will be better for everyone if I'm not there.” Hawk hated me when he had no good reason to. I can only imagine how well he will take this development.

  “It’s not like that,” West tries to explain, clearly knowing where my thoughts have strayed. “It’s not you. He hasn't had an easy life.”

  “An easy life?” I interject, barking out a sarcastic laugh, unable to believe his audacity. “Yeah, I'm sure the poor prince has had it rough,” I snarl. “Spare me the pathetic woe is me bullshit. I don't wanna hear it.”

  With his lips pressed together, he gives me a tight nod, saying nothing else as he takes the DNA reports from my hand, leaving me alone with my tumultuous thoughts, the soft click of the door closing behind him resonating around the room.

  Chapter 27

  Fuck. I lift my glasses off, rubbing my eyes and pinching the bridge of my nose in frustration. Putting them back on, I run my hand through my hair, not caring I’m messing it up. That went about as horrendously as I expected—worse even. Seeing her shocked expression as I blew apart her world, and Jesus, listening to her faint cries through the door. I nearly kicked the damn thing in, the urge to comfort her riding me hard.

  I’ve been humming and hawing for nearly a week now, over what to do with the results. They both needed to know, but I couldn’t work out how to tell them. There’s been a strange sort of stalemate between us for the last month, all four of us actively pretending we don’t notice her when she’s around, but Cam only pays attention to Bianca the second Hadley enters a room. Mason has completely ignored his girl all month, and I’ve caught him watching Hadley when we’re in the same room. Of course, I’ve only noticed it because I’ve been watching her, too.

  Seeing her and Hawk fighting the other night just made it all the more clear that they needed to know. Now. They need to get past this shit. They’re fucking family. Whether or not Hawk likes it, or Hadley wants to be, she’s one of us. I don’t know what the fuck happened for her to end up with the life she’s had, but all these years...she should have been with us. Should have grown up with us, been at the cabin with us in the summers, and attended Pac with us the last four years.

  There’s a lot going on with her that we don’t know or understand, but all the issues between us and her need to be resolved. Hawk’s too caught up in his need to control her, and Cam’s too lost in his hurt. Both of them too proud to be the bigger person. I honestly don’t know where Mason stands with her, so I guess that leaves me to try and create some peace between us all.

  Pulling open the door to the boys’ dorms, I release a heavy breath. As badly as that went with Hadley, I know it’s going to be ten times worse with Hawk.

  Letting myself into our apartment, I glance around the open living space, checking if he’s around. He’s slouched on the sofa, playing a video game as I make my way over to him.

  “Hey, man.” My steady voice doesn’t give away any of the jittery nervousness I’m feeling.

  “What’s up?” His eyes never leave the TV as he races around a corner on a motorbike.

  Taking a deep breath, I know I need to just rip off the Band-Aid. Sitting down on a chair opposite him, leaning forward, my elbows resting on my knees, I pierce him with the same serious expression I used on Hadley. “I need to talk to you.”

  He must sense the gravity in my tone, as he pauses his game, setting the controller down before turning to look at me. “Sure, what is it?”

  “I found something out about Hadley,” I start, unsure how to actually say the words to him. This is so much harder than it was when I broke the news to Hadley, and that was fucking difficult. Seeing that pain on her face. I’ve never seen her look so broken before. She puts on this impenetrable front, always acting like everything just bounces off her. It makes me forget sometimes that she’s fucking human underneath it all. She’s still got the same insecurities as the rest of us. Hell, I’ve a feeling she’s got more issues than most.

  Growing up the way she did, not knowing who her family was, I can only imagine what a bombshell it must be to suddenly find out you not only have a family, but that they’re right under your nose, and they’re stinking rich. And on top of that, to know your own brother has been your tormentor for the last few months? Yeah, that must sting.

  “You did? What did you find?” His voice is threaded with excitement, a wide grin on his face. Fucking hell, he needs to get over his infatuation with her. Now more than ever. I know he’s had a lot going on, we all have, and I know he was worried she was using Cam. I’m honestly not sure what the hell was going on there, and I can’t explain the notebook we found in her room, but I get the feeling there’s more going on here than he and Cam seem to think. I don’t know how I know that; I just do.

  “Man, I don’t get it,” I admit, needing answers before I share with him what I’ve found out. “What is your problem with her? And don’t tell me it’s about the notebook. You and I both know this started long before that.”

  I have to tell Hawk this news—he has a right to know. But after seeing Hadley, after hearing her sobbing her fucking heart out through the door, I can’t let him do any more damage to her. I need him to explain this vendetta to me.

  “I just don’t like her.” He scowls. “I don’t trust her. She’s up to something.”

  I sigh wearily, not understanding his c
ryptic answer. It’s the same bullshit he’s been saying all year, but there’s never an actual fucking reason. “Are you sure you’re not just worried ‘cause Cam has feelings for her? It’s the first time any of us has actually given a shit about a girl before.”

  His eyes narrow on me. “Don’t bullshit me, I know you’ve taken an interest in her too.”

  I simply shrug my shoulders, unable to deny it. What can I say? The girl intrigues me. There’s something about her. She’s tough as nails and fiercely independent. She’s got walls so thick I don’t think she’s ever let anyone in; then there are moments like today when I see a rare vulnerability in her. All of it speaks to one complicated woman. As if that wasn’t enough to have me curious, there are odd things about her I just can’t explain. I want to know about her inability to use technology, why she doesn’t drink, and about the wariness in her eyes when she’s around others. I can’t understand any of it, which of course only fascinates me more. I can’t help it, I’m a sucker for a puzzle, and Hadley is exactly that—a complex enigma that’s just screaming at me to be solved. She draws me in. It’s like she’s begging me to figure her out, to understand her. I want to know everything about her, which is fucking weird, because I’ve never given a damn about a girl before. Never even been all that interested in them until Hadley showed up.

  “Look.” I sigh, preparing myself for the Hawk shit-storm that’s about to rain down on me. “You’re not going to like what I’ve gotta say, but you know me. I’ve done my research, I’ve checked everything out. I have the proof right here,” I say, waving the same file I just showed Hadley. “What I’m about to tell you is the truth, and I need you to not lose your shit over it.”

  “Jesus, man.” Hawk chuckles nervously, confusion apparent across his face. “Just spit it out already.”

  Fuck. Here we go.

  “Hadley’s your sister.”

  He looks at me for a moment before he bursts out laughing.