Broken Trust : Pacific Prep

by R. A. Smyth

  “Fuck, man. You totally had me! That’s hilarious.” He continues to laugh, shaking his head as he grabs his controller from the table and relaxes back onto the sofa again, getting back to his game.

  He’s still laughing when I drop the file of lab reports on the sofa beside him. “I’m being serious,” I state, gesturing to the file when he glances my way.

  He casts his eyes down to the brown envelope before flicking them back up to look at me, his brows pulled together in confusion as he takes in the tight press of my lips and critical look in my eye.

  His game forgotten, he slowly sets down the controller, picking up the file and rifling through the pages.

  “What the fuck is this?” he finally asks in disbelief, his words an echo of Hadley’s as he continues to scan his eyes over the pages.

  He’s not really asking me, so I don’t answer, waiting patiently for him to take in what I’ve just said, what’s written in black and white on the pages in front of him.

  “I don’t understand,” he finally murmurs, glancing up at me. “You tested our DNA? Why the fuck would you do that?”

  I try again to explain to him what I tried to explain to Hadley, but it’s difficult to find the words. It was a gut feeling, a hunch as much as anything else. Simply saying that they have the same unique shade of stormy blue-gray eyes and fiery tempers isn’t enough justification.

  It was every time one of the guys laughed off how similar they were. It was in the small mannerisms they share, the green skittles. It was the way her jaw clenches and her nostrils flare when she’s pissed off, the slight tilt of her head when she’s concentrating, how she absently plays with the hem of her skirt or a pen or the corner of a page when she’s distracted. All things Hawk does, too. All things no one who doesn’t know Hawk as well as I do, or pay as much attention to Hadley as I do, would ever piece together.

  I’d sound insane if I said all that, or like a creepy fucking stalker.

  “There must be a mistake,” he insists after another long moment of him trying to internally process the news. “There’s just no way this is true. For starters, I’d fucking know if I had a sister. My parents would have said something, or there would be some sort of proof somewhere, a photo or something at our house. Even if she was my sister, how the fuck did she end up in foster care?”

  All excellent questions that I’ve been trying to figure out the last few days too.

  “I dunno, man,” I admit. “I don’t have the answer to that. I just know the tests don’t lie.”

  “Well, I don’t fucking believe them,” he snaps out, his anger finally making an appearance, like I knew it would. “They’ve made a mistake. There’s an error.”

  “By five different labs?” I reason.

  “I don’t fucking know,” he yells, jumping to his feet, his hand gripping the pages tightly, crumpling them. “But there is no fucking way this is true!”

  He paces furiously back and forth across the apartment, grumbling to himself as he tries to come up with an alternative to what is right in front of him. Knowing there’s no point in arguing with him when he’s like this, I get comfortable in my chair, watching him as he wears a hole in the hardwood, stomping the length of the open space and back, his thoughts running a mile a minute.

  I don’t know how long we stay like that for, but eventually, the front door opens and Cam and Mason walk in. They stop just inside the door, immediately catching on to Hawk’s angry state.

  “What the hell’s going on here?” Cam asks, eyeing Hawk warily as he moves over to claim the spot on the sofa Hawk vacated.

  Mason doesn’t move from the doorway, his eyes following Hawk as he continues his pacing, ignoring their arrival.

  “Hadley and Hawk are related,” I say, not beating around the bush.

  Cam’s head snaps toward me, his mouth dropping open. “They’re what?” He gapes. “Like distant relatives? Second cousins twice removed or some shit like that, that doesn't even count?”

  “More like siblings,” I clarify.

  Even Mason’s eyebrows raise at that piece of information. “Wow,” he exclaims.

  Cam, clearly incapable of forming words, continues to gawk at me.

  “What? When? How?” he finally splutters.

  “In the same way as any other siblings,” I retort sarcastically. “If no one’s had the birds and the bees talk with you yet, I’m sure as fuck not explaining it.”

  He scowls at me, not impressed with my scathing tone. “Don’t be such a dick. You know what I mean.”

  Mason, finally ungluing his feet from the floor, pulls his eyes away from a still pacing Hawk, coming to join me and Cam.

  “How did we not know Hawk had a sister?”

  I shake my head, not having an answer for him.

  “Hawk, man, stop whatever the fuck you’re doing. We need to sort this shit out,” he barks. His words must get through to Hawk in some way as he stops pacing, spinning to glare at all of us.

  “Sort what out?” he demands, storming over. “There’s nothing to sort out. So what if she's my sister or whatever? That doesn’t mean anything. No one even has to fucking know. We can just tear this shit up,” he rants, waving the pages in the air, “and pretend none of this ever happened.”

  “Dude, what the fuck? You can’t do that!” Cam snaps, reaching out to tear the pages from his grasp, glancing quickly at them before handing them to Mason.

  “Why the fuck not? Clearly my parents have decided she doesn’t exist. Why can’t I?”

  “Because you’re not them,” I snap at him, unable to believe he’s even thinking of burying this shit. “You may be acting like an ass right now, but you’re not the same dicks your parents are.”

  Hawk grinds his teeth, glaring at each of us, but he doesn’t argue the issue any further, knowing damn well we’re right.

  “You haven’t told her, have you?” he demands, his pissed off expression drilling into me.

  Cringing, I respond, “Yeah, actually. I have.”

  “She knows?” Cam exclaims before Hawk can tear me a new one. “Not that I care,” he tacks on, mumbling under his breath.

  Sharing a look with Mason, I roll my eyes at him. Between him and Hawk, I’m not sure who’s being the greater asshole right now. Cam needs to get the fuck over his hurt pride and see the bigger picture.

  “She must be a mess right now,” Mason says softly, his forehead furrowed in concern. Huh, the fact his thoughts immediately went to Hadley is proof enough. I knew he was interested in her by the way he watches her, but he seems to actually care about her. How did that happen? When did it happen?

  I mean, I get it. There’s something about her that draws you in, that makes you want to give a damn about her, even when alarm bells are going off in your head. Walking out of her room and leaving her there after I just dropped that life-altering bomb on her was so much harder than I thought it would be. Even now, my thoughts continually stray back to her, wondering what she’s doing, how she’s coping with it. Is she on a rampage like Hawk is? Unable to sit still, stomping around her room? Or has she withdrawn into herself, blocking out everything around her while she tries to process what all of this means?

  “You told her?” Hawk barks, reminding me I have my own Davenport problem to deal with. He grinds his teeth as he glares at me, his hands repeatedly clenching into tight fists, like he’s imagining ripping my head off right now. “Why the fuck would you do something stupid like that?!”

  “She had a right to know,” I respond calmly. “Just the same as you do.”

  “I’m supposed to be your best friend,” he shouts. “You should have told me first. I should have been the one to decide if she should know or not.”

  “And that’s exactly why I didn’t tell you first,” I snap, getting pissed off. “Because for some stupid reason, you’re on a mission to destroy her, and it’s blinding you. You can’t fucking see that this affects her just as much, if not more so, than it affects you.”

 
Hawk doesn’t say anything, but I’m pretty sure he’s picturing his hands wrapped around my throat. I’m not stupid enough to think his silence means I’ve gotten through to him or that he agrees with me. He’s just so fucking furious right now he can’t even talk.

  Sighing, Mason interjects before tensions can escalate any further, “Regardless of whether or not she knows, this raises a lot of questions. Questions we need answers to.”

  “Yeah,” Cam agrees, nodding his head in agreement. “Like, why the fuck your parents never told you about her.”

  “Or how she ended up in foster care,” Mason adds.

  “Do you think she knew?” Cam questions. “Is that why she had the notebook?”

  All three of them turn to look at me. “No way,” I insist, giving a vigorous shake of my head. “She didn’t have a clue. She threw the same hissy fit you’re having right now,” I wave my hand toward Hawk who still looks like an angry bear with his arms crossed over his broad chest as he stands, towering over the rest of us.

  Glowering, Hawk finally unclenches his jaw enough to suggest, “She could have been lying to you. Look how she manipulated Cam all year; she’s clearly gotten inside your head, too.”

  My fingernails dig into my palm, my fists clenched tight as I try to reign in my anger. “She wasn’t,” I spit through gritted teeth, scowling at him before turning my frustration on Cam. “And I don’t believe everything between you and her was a lie, either. Do you not see the way she looks at you? The two of you need to talk and sort out your shit. You can’t keep going around blaming her for everything. I know there are a lot of unanswered questions,” I say, holding my hands up to get him to keep quiet, “I know she hurt your pride, but man, you’ve gotta get over it.”

  He doesn’t say anything, pressing his lips together, not pleased with the reality check I just hit him with.

  “How the fuck are we supposed to get answers to any of these questions?” Hawk challenges. “Hadley’s a closed fucking book, and it’s not like I can just say to my parents ‘hey, remember that other kid you had that you never told me about and apparently forgot ever existed? Well, she’s enrolled at Pac now and knows all about the rich family that abandoned her.’”

  “Well, you probably shouldn’t say it quite like that,” Mason retorts unhelpfully, making me scowl at him.

  “You shouldn’t say anything to them at all,” I snap.

  Hawk's eyebrows rise in surprise at my words.

  “Your parents clearly kept it a secret for a reason,” I explain. “Just do some snooping while you're home over Christmas break. We need more information before we confront them, or before anyone else finds out about this.”

  Before he can argue with me any further, a sharp knock on the door draws all of our attention, and I get up to go shoo away whatever idiot thought it was okay to just turn up at our apartment unannounced.

  Chapter 28

  I pace back and forth for god knows how long before giving up and storming out the door. West can’t seriously drop that bomb and just expect me to sit here and stew in it.

  I have a family. A fucking family.

  Except that family is Hawk.

  I’m really not sure how I feel about that.

  Why couldn’t I have had a nice little cookie-cutter family with a white picket fence and a dog?

  Oh yeah, because this is me we’re talking about, and even when I get something I never thought I would have, life still has to go and fucking shit all over it.

  I climb the steps to the fourth floor of the boys’ dormitories, pulling open the stairwell door and stepping into a small hall. Unlike the other floors, there’s no hallway with numerous doors along it. Instead there’s just the one door right in front of me.

  Pursing my lips, I bang my fist against the door and wait impatiently for someone to open it.

  West doesn’t seem surprised to see me, but he sure as hell doesn’t look pleased about it as I stomp past him into their dorm, finding the other three assholes spread out around the open living space. They all look my way, but I can’t tear my gaze away from Hawk, as I run my eyes over his face, trying to see whatever West saw. I’m not surprised when all I see is the arrogant dickwad I’ve seen every day since the first day of school. Sure, his eyes are maybe similar to mine, and his nose is straight like mine, but that’s it.

  His eyes narrow as he turns to face me, Cam jumping to his feet beside him, as the two of them stride toward me. Mason, at a slower pace, stands up, but he stays back by the couches, assessing the situation from a distance. “What are you doing here?” Hawk demands.

  “I’m guessing West told you the good news, brother.” His icy glare promises all sorts of heinous acts as he practically snarls at me, but I shrug away his shitty attitude. West said we had similar tempers? There’s no way I’m as infuriating as this asswipe.

  “He shouldn’t have fucking told you,” Hawk growls, briefly flicking his glower from me to West.

  “Are you for fucking real?” I snap, directing his ire back his way. “Of course he should have fucking told me. You think I wanted this to be my fucking reality? Wanted you to be my brother? I’d take pretty much anyone else.”

  “Please,” he snorts. “You just landed yourself the answer to all your fucking problems.”

  When I simply look at him like he’s got three heads, not understanding what he’s going on about, he continues on, “That’s assuming you didn’t already know about any of this.” Hawk’s penetrating gaze stays firmly pinpointed on me, scrutinizing my every move. “Is that what that whole notebook was about? You were learning everything you could about us before coming clean about who you really were?”

  “What?” I gape in shock; but of course, that’s what he assumes the stupid fucking notebook is about. “No.”

  “She’s telling the truth, man,” West insists. “I saw the look on her face. She was as shocked as you.”

  “So you claim, but like I said, she’s a good liar.”

  I glance at Cam, taking in his thinned lips and the distrustful look in his eyes, trying to forget the uncharacteristic softness I saw in them after our rendezvous in the locker room.

  I’m looking right at him when I speak the god’s honest truth. There is a lot they don’t know about me—not that they’ve earned the fucking right to know any of it—but there is one thing I am certain of. “The feelings I had for you were real. The...time we spent together? All of it meant something to me.”

  I swear his eyes soften, just a little. But it’s highly possible I’m only seeing what I want to see, because the rest of his face is still shut down, pinched tight in anger.

  Mason coughs uncomfortably, drawing my attention his way as he rubs the back of his neck in awkward embarrassment. Noticing my attention on him, his gaze latches onto mine, a private moment passing between the two of us. I have no idea what it means, though. I don’t know what that kiss meant in the clearing, or what any of this means, really. I’m beyond confused at this point. None of this is what I expected to find at Pac.

  “I don’t give a shit who you are, or what you are to me,” Hawk snarls, his nose wrinkling in disgust as his gaze drops to take me in, no part of me meeting his standard. The sheer hatred in his eyes stalls the breath in my throat as I stand frozen, gaping at him. “As far as I’m concerned, you’re unwanted trash. I don’t care if we are related, I don’t want anything to do with you. These idiots are letting their dicks make all the decisions for them right now, but pretty soon they’ll see you for you who really are—a pathetic nobody, trying to fuck her way to a pampered future as some old guy’s mistress.”

  Despite how fucking infuriating he is, his words cut deep. He might not be what I want in a family, but he is my family. Something I’ve wished for and dreamed about my entire life; and he’s just shit all over it with his nasty, untrue words and disgusted look. I’m not sure what I expected when I came up here. I knew it wouldn’t be all hugs and celebrations. It’s Hawk, of course he’s going to fight it
tooth and nail, but the unrelenting hostility in his voice is painful to hear. I can feel my chest cracking open with every foul word he spits my way.

  I try so goddamn fucking hard to hold it all together, but I feel it when the mask slips. It’s only for a second, but it’s enough. It’s more vulnerability than I’ve shown anyone, ever. Before I can do something completely embarrassing, like cry, I duck my head, spinning on my heel and nearly running over West in my hurry to get out of there and away from Hawk’s toxic malice.

  Fleeing from their apartment, I don’t stop until I’m slamming through the doors of the gym. I’m not really sure why I came here, of all places. I’m not dressed for the gym and I don’t have my gear with me. I guess I knew it would be empty so late at night.

  Skirting my way around the darkened room, I wander through into the swimming pool. Other than when I came to watch Cam’s swim meets, I’ve never set foot in here. Since I’m a shitty swimmer, it seems like a smart choice to avoid coming anywhere near a deep body of water, especially with all the enemies surrounding me these days. All it would take is one little push. I can guarantee you none of those bitches would dive in to rescue me, and Hawk would happily stand idly by and watch me drown.

  There’s something oddly peaceful about this place, though. The gentle lap of water, the way the lights shine from the bottom of the pool. Even the stench of chlorine is strangely comforting.

  Keeping a safe distance from the edge, I carefully walk around until I'm at the shallow end of the pool, on the far side of the room. Before I can think better of it, I strip out of my jeans and top, taking off my bra and panties too, setting them on a bench before dipping into the warm water. I’m probably insane for doing this, but the water calls to me. I can feel the tension draining from my body as it laps against me, soaking my skin. With my feet firmly planted on the bottom of the pool, I bend my knees, slowly lowering myself until the water hits my shoulders.

  Spreading my arms out, I trail my fingers through the surface of the water, watching the ripple effects of my movements. Life’s a lot like that, someone does or says something that causes a chain reaction. Their behavior influences everyone else around them, for better or worse. Most of the time, we don’t even think about how our actions might affect those around us. Or people like Hawk just don’t give a shit. But it's folks like me that have to live with the consequences of others' crappy choices.