Within the Wonder

by A. K. Koonce

  I must be doing it wrong.

  Shit, what happens if it goes wrong?

  Light flashes like fire across my skin just before it sizzles out into lingering smoke. Powerful, ancient magic tears all through me. I’m light. Weightless and wafting.

  And then I’m carried away in the wind.

  Eighteen

  Madison

  Higher and higher I soar. Flashes of faint white images streak by as I soar up as quickly as I fell down this rabbit hole of a journey. I don’t look at a single thing that passes by, but something calls to me, something pulls at my attention, and the clouded, smoky-like entity that I now am, stops dead. There in front of me is Kais St. Croix’s image.

  He’s…screaming, yelling, and dangerously aggressive. I can’t hear a thing he says, but his jaw clenches shut after every word that leaves his lips. Those deep, mysterious eyes of his glare into Liddell’s, and the two men stare at each other for so long I just know…Kais is going to kill him.

  He’s more powerful than he shows. Does Liddell know that?

  “Why?” I ask. That word comes out, but it’s carried by the whipping wind, sounding strung out and hushed.

  “Probably because he can’t see you anymore. You disappeared into the darkness.” Lighton’s wavering voice is the same as mine in this bizarre state we’re currently in.

  Shit.

  I rush out, unsure where Lighton is or where I’m even going. I just follow the dot of the smallest amount of promising light that’s above me. It feels like miles pass in the blur of a single second, and then that white color above me washes into my vision. The air changes, warming me the moment I’m fully out of the darkness.

  But I don’t stop for a single second. Each heartbeat that pounds through my chest is another second that could get the people I care about in trouble.

  I brought them all here. Cat, Brody, Lighton, Alixx and Kais.

  And I can’t let them get hurt because of me.

  They’re all I think about, and they control my thoughts so much that I don’t watch where I’m going. Until I slam hard into the blinding white surroundings. Throbbing pain sinks through my skull, but when I look up, everything looks the same.

  A smoky hand lifts, and it takes me a second to realize it’s my own. Hesitantly I run my fingers along the vacant white space in front of me.

  And touch a flat, solid wall hidden away in all the plain white surroundings.

  “I found it!” My cutting, wafting voice carries, and I can sense Lighton more than I can see him.

  Without waiting, I rush along the smooth span of the wall, my fingers guiding me as I follow the hidden wall among the drifting fog that’s climbing higher and higher the farther I go.

  It happens so fast, it all gives away into nothingness.

  I free fall out into it, letting the smoke carry me down, down, down.

  Splashing water rises up, and I let my feet settle into the crystal clear pool. Dark swirling smoke still lingers around my form. Lighton’s unseen energy clings around my body, tickling my wrists and inner thighs, and I roll my eyes at him even as I look ahead at the veiled archway that’s directly in front of me.

  I did it!

  I take a deep breath, staring out at the white blowing material that covers the Wonderland world from this one.

  Then with my head held high, I step right through like a victor stepping across the finish line.

  Fresh air hits my lungs in a feeling of complete triumph.

  But coming face to face with Gwenevere Fucking Blight was not what I expected.

  Nineteen

  Kais

  She looks as murderous as I feel right now.

  But she’s safe. I’ve got to stop sending her off to her death. It’s not good for me. Or Liddell. Or any other innocent bystanders.

  Black smoke drifts from her clenched hands, her fists seeming even paler with the dark color shadowing her. Some of it’s Lighton, I know.

  But a lot of it…is her.

  Interesting.

  “She used smoke magic; how did she use smoke magic?” one of the Elders calls from the back of the viewing crowd.

  A name crawls from their lips as well. A name these people haven’t whispered with so much fear in centuries, I bet.

  Maisie.

  “I’m powerful,” Madison answers, her serious gaze still held on the young blonde girl who simply smiles back at her.

  “Or someone showed you.” Hatter’s head tilts, studying her intently, but she never looks his way.

  Does he irrationally think his long-lost lover taught Madison all the things he can no longer do? All the things he taught Maisie himself all that time ago?

  Maisie Torrent left this magical kingdom for a reason.

  It isn’t safe here among these Elders.

  “How did you get here before me?” Madison takes a step closer to Gwen, standing at the center of the pool of water while Gwen looks down on her from the bank, her gown as blue and perfect as ever.

  Not a single spec of dirt to be seen on the small girl.

  While Madison looks like she’s wallowed in heavenly shit.

  “I went east of course.” Gwen’s eyebrows pull together with complete confusion, but her innocent features don’t deter Madison’s glare.

  “Okay.” I clap my hands, my palms hitting so hard I flinch. “Good game.” I nod to Gwen as I pass her by and step right into the sea, the water sloshing over my jeans as I rush to Madison’s side. She doesn’t look at me. My palm presses firmly to the center of her back, the heat of her body burning right into me. I ignore the stinging pain and guide her from the knee-deep water. And I keep on leading her away from them all. I nod and pass tense smiles to every single Elder that looks at her like she’s done something very, very wrong.

  And she has.

  She’s shown them what she really is.

  She’s what they always fear.

  She’s a threat to them.

  Twenty

  Madison

  I’m still replaying every single part of the game. Every wrong turn I took. Every success I made. Every single second of it is on repeat in my mind.

  But her oblivious face is a background image for it all.

  “I had to leave the trial early,” Cat says with a purse of her lips.

  Kais asked everyone to step out, but Cat said she has important information. And the moment she mentions the trial, everything else becomes obsolete.

  “Why? What happened?” I stop pacing in front of my bed, leaving big clumps of mud behind every step I take.

  “Rotter pushed too far with his comments, and the crowd ambushed him. Brody pulled me away before it got too violent.”

  “What?” My jaw slackens just as my arms fall to my sides.

  “He’s fine. He burst up and flew above them. He could leave at any time. I really don’t understand your demented assassin.”

  A small smile pulls at my lips.

  “He’s doing all of this for you, huh?” She tilts her head at me, hair shifting around her sweet face, and I nod. “Am I an idiot to…” She glances back at Kais, and he kindly looks away from us. “Am I stupid to think I love Brody?”

  My heart stumbles at how confused the always assured woman is. All that confidence, and she’s just as lost as I feel most days.

  That’s what love does to us.

  “You’re anything but stupid, Cat.”

  Her bright eyes shift to the carpet between us. “I hate knowing that he could hurt me, and yet, he’s never given me a reason to think that. It’s just a fact. Something I know from too many past experiences.”

  A numbing pain pushes through my chest at her confessing words.

  She deserves love. And Brody, Brody loves her more than she’ll ever see.

  “Don’t be afraid to love him.” I swallow hard at that, and I don’t know why my attention drifts to the brooding traitor lingering near the door.

  Her lips pull up in a half smile, and she glances at Kais as well bef
ore slipping quietly from the room.

  And then I’m right back to dwelling on the game.

  That I lost.

  “How the hell did she know which way was east?” I nearly stomp my foot as I shove the ripped and tattered leather jeans down. The tight material catches around my calves, and my tantrum climbs to an all-time high as I stomp on one piece of the leather and just completely rip the fucking pants down the middle before kicking them all the way off.

  “You do realize these games are not the real goal here, right? Winning and losing is just a distraction for what the real task is…” Kais dips his head, coming close until I’m forced to look up at him. A frustrated breath pushes from my lungs, and then I realize I’m pouting ridiculously in front of him in just my shirt and underwear.

  At least he closed my bedroom door for me.

  Such a gentleman.

  “Did you find a break in the barrier? Anything?” I ask a bit more quietly, my senses finally coming back around and making me realize I am a total sore loser.

  Not exactly what Alice is known for, I guess.

  Or maybe it was just all the emotions from today came crashing down all at once.

  “No,” he shakes his head slowly. “We still have a couple days though. Unless—” he cuts his words off so abruptly that I look up at him with wide attentive eyes.

  Awkward seconds slip by.

  Silence. Total silence from the man who gets off on barking orders on the daily.

  “Unless what?”

  His deep blue gaze slides away from me, his features becoming so boyish that the tattooed man looks more approachable than I’ve ever seen him.

  I hate it.

  “Unless what, Kais?”

  He shakes his head slowly, and that simple gesture seems to be what tumbles the words out of his barely parted lips. “Unless you lose. Again.”

  I step back as if he slapped me with those honest and gentle words. Petty anger simmers in me.

  “Stop.” Steady fingers glide along my chin, and he tilts my head for me to meet his gaze, controlling me with the slightest touch. “You can do this.” The low rumbling timber of his voice sinks into me and settles low. So low that my thighs shift. With a single step, he’s even closer. Sparking heat radiates between the small space that separates his body from mine, his chest from mine, his lips from mine.

  His palm sweeps over my bare shoulder, and with a simple wave of his hand, all the filth clinging to my skin disappears. He washes away the mud and the blood and heals me all with a tiny wave of his fingers brushing over my skin.

  He trails his attention over me, and he pauses just before he reaches up and runs his fingers through my hair, turning the long blonde locks to a deep shine of crimson.

  The way he swallows hard is the only sign that he likes what he sees.

  It amazes me how that glint of danger that burns in his eyes changes into the most lustful gleam of desire. All that aggression and sex appeal in one person is a dangerous combination.

  So similar to someone else I know.

  “How’d Alixx’s trial end?” I barely rasp out without thought.

  That one question douses the heat that was simmering between us.

  His throat clears at the same time as his hand falls to his side. He backs away like I’m the hazardous one. Like I’m the one who’s bad for him instead of the other way around.

  “Good. It’s good.”

  My hands settle on my hips, my eyes narrowing on the confusing man in front of me. “Really? Because I can’t imagine any kind of scenario where Alixx Stone doesn’t completely piss off his peers just for the fun of it.”

  “Of course he pissed them off, but there is law and order in this kingdom.”

  “There is?” My eyebrow arches, and he turns to me with the exact same skeptical look. Except his gaze drifts, his attention caressing all down my frame, down my lace panties and along my long legs.

  Then he finally remembers to answer.

  “If he’s found guilty—which, by their laws, he will be—then he’ll be sentenced to solitude. Everyone in Wanderlust is technically living a life sentence of solitude. They don’t want him here. They just want entertainment. They’ll throw him out for Wanderlust to deal with soon enough.”

  I swallow hard, forcing myself to believe him.

  “Why would he really put himself out there like that? I was already their focus. It was stupid of him to step up like that.”

  A quiet moment drifts while Kais just stares at me with those bright confusing blue eyes of his.

  “You really don’t get it, do you?” He comes closer, the moonlight casting him in so much pale white light he looks like he walked right out of the most beautiful nightmare.

  “What?” I whisper.

  Closer he comes. His chin lowers just so he can meet my eyes when we’re chest to chest again.

  “He wanted to keep you safe because Alixx would do anything for you. You have this commanding ability to make people want to follow you and believe in you and help you, Madison.”

  His low tone mixed with the rumbling sound of my name is enough to make me shiver.

  “Alixx stood trial in an absurd court of justice just to protect you,” he whispers, his fingers sliding into my hair to captivate every single ounce of my attention.

  I’m looking up at Kais, but he’s making me understand Alixx completely.

  Alixx isn’t a typical villain of Wonderland. He isn’t a mindless card like Lighton said. He isn’t at all who I thought he was.

  Which is always his way.

  Alixx Stone is the Knave of Hearts.

  Sometimes he’s an untrusting person. Sometimes he’s loyal and charming. Always misunderstood. And sometimes…he’s guilty.

  “He’s the Knave,” I whisper, eyes big, lips parted, holding Kais’s attention entirely just from the subtle movement of my lips.

  Which he’s staring at intently.

  So intently I can’t help but check the minimal amount of space that holds the warm air between my mouth and his.

  “You’re babbling about books again, aren’t you?” he asks with a smile.

  A smile lines his lips, and it doesn’t stop my glare from meeting the amusement in his eyes.

  “Books are important, Kais! Without books, there would be no heart pounding danger, no unimaginable excitement, no all-consuming love, no panty melting lust—”

  “Yes, there would be,” he cuts me off with that single growling statement.

  And then, as if to prove his point, his lips press slowly to mine.

  Kais St. Croix gives me all the things I thought I could only get from a book in just one kiss. This man is danger, excitement, love, and lust all mixed into one deliciously tattooed package.

  This moment is more hesitant than this morning. This moment isn’t a dare the way this morning was.

  This fucking moment…it feels fragile in a way.

  Maybe because I’m terrified of scaring him away again.

  When I part his lips, sliding my tongue hesitantly against his, all his trepidation seems to rip out from under us.

  Strong hands slide around my thighs, fast and rough, and he wraps me around him the same way. One second, I’m safely on the ground, the next, my legs are clinging tightly around his lean hips like the floor beneath us is shattering and he’s the only thing that’ll save me from sudden death. The way his fingers dig into the curve of my ass, pressing my clit so hard against his erection that I moan, I don’t think he has intentions of stopping like he did before.

  But it terrifies me that I’ll give another little piece of myself to him, and he might leave again.

  It’s a stupid, stupid thought that keeps pressing through all the tingling energy he’s giving me and replacing it with a dangerous combination of want and fear.

  “Kais,” I say on a shaking breath that I can’t control.

  He lowers me to the bed, pulling back but gently laying me down before settling his hips against mine, looking
down on me through the silver moonlight that’s beaming between us. He’s all dark shadows and captivating eyes staring down on me, intensifying that feeling in my chest until I’m sure it’ll crack right down the middle.

  I trust him so much.

  “Kais, I just don’t want to ruin us.” My voice is so small that I despise the weak sound of it, but I can only be honest with the one man who’s been nothing but transparent with me.

  “I think you ruined me the moment I met you,” he says with a smile, his lips brushing distractedly over mine.

  I barely have the logic rolling around in my sex-fueled mind to pull back from him.

  “This morning, you left, this morning.” The deepest breath meets my lungs, and I try to organize the words I want to say to him. “I’d rather not have you like this and actually have you, than not have you at all.” My lips hurt when I force them into the smallest smile.

  That let’s be friends fucking smile.

  My eyes close slowly, my heart and vagina both hating me in this moment.

  They’re on the same page. For once.

  But he doesn’t move. His weight leans into me even more, his lips brushing along my ear, toying with the fraction of space that separates me from those sinful lips.

  “I left…because you’re the only person I’ve ever met who scares the shit out of me, Madison Torrent.”

  My eyes open to the darkness, my fingers ghosting along his body but not committing to touch him. It hurts not to give in and feel his skin against mine.

  “I left…because I think I love you.” His words tremble just faintly, mirroring my heart, with the sound of the sweetest words I’ve ever heard. “I-I fucking love you, and that terrifies me.” He kisses the shell of my ear lightly, exploding a wave of tingling heat right through my core. “I know how to be used. I have no fucking idea how to do what I’m doing with you.”

  When he pulls back, his gaze is hesitant to meet mine. I hate the uncertainty in his gaze. I hate how strong his body looks but how unsure the depths of those sea glass eyes are right now.