Within the Wonder

by A. K. Koonce

  When the fuck did this asshole become the emotional support team for our relationship? How did that happen?

  “I don’t know.” I shrug, and I can’t help but look back at the door, but it feels awkward to run away from them rather than hear them out.

  “How fucked up are your emotions right now?” Kais juts his chin to me, and that nasty twisting feeling in my stomach jumps just from being called out like that.

  “They’re really fucked up, thanks for asking.”

  “Now imagine how she feels.” We both glance at the woman who’s now standing. Still in her underwear. Still hiding herself away from me.

  “Do you have the balls to tell her to choose?” Kais grabs his shirt and looks at me with so much fucking challenge in his eyes that it makes all that unease wash away with the sudden urge to mirror his confidence.

  I don’t know how he does that.

  How does he command confidence in others?

  “I’d never ask her to choose.” I shake my head, my gaze drifting to her as she stares at me with the biggest green eyes. “I won’t ask you to choose.” My shoulders straighten, and it feels good just to say it. To know that this is a real option, and this is a choice in a way. A choice to…have us all. A small smile tilts my lips as she starts to walk closer. “You can have your cake, and your cupcake, and your arrogant, condescending crazy assassin cake, and eat it too.”

  Her pretty eyes gleam with what was once unshed tears and is now shining happiness.

  “Are you sure?” Her hands slip away, no longer holding herself as she rests her small palms on my chest.

  My breath hitches just knowing she’s nearly naked in my arms. My fingers slide with a feather light touch down her arms, ribs and hips before pulling her closer and enveloping her completely.

  “If you’re sure you want me, then I’m sure,” I whisper.

  That’s all I want. All I want is to know she wants me. I just want to know that I have her, and everything else in this shitty world will be okay.

  Soft lips brush lightly over mine before she kisses me so slowly it pulls at my heart. Everything about this beautiful woman pulls at my heart.

  “I’m sure,” she says with so much conviction I kiss her harder, bruising her lips to mine.

  She’s sure about us.

  And suddenly, I’ve never been surer of myself in my entire life.

  Twenty-Two

  Madison

  My lips hurt, my thighs hurt, my pus—everything. Just everything hurts because of the two men standing on either side of me as we wait patiently for the day’s trial to begin. The tension of the setting isn’t there like I thought it would be. It’s all casual laughter and light-hearted conversation from the Elders surrounding me.

  Their buzz of commotion makes me crazier and crazier with every minute that ticks by.

  The games of the day will start soon. Lighton says it’s a sort of loyalty test, and that vagueness alone scares the Wonderland shit right out of me.

  But first, I have to know where Alixx stands in all of this.

  No one will tell me anything.

  The lack of information is scarier than anything they could have told me. All the worry my mind is creating filters out into irrational theories of what’s happening when I’m not here like I should be.

  Instead I’m here with fake smiles and fake blonde hair. I’m out playing sinister games like it’s a family picnic rather than being here with Alixx.

  “Please part for the honorable Elder Liddell,” Mickey announces from the center of the ring of people.

  The crowd shifts like a sea, and there, walking through the split of people, is Liddell, looking as amused as ever. His happiness spreads total unease all through me.

  Trailing behind him, with stiff posture that makes him look tall, regal, and untouchable, is Alixx Stone. He smiles a sneering smile, but it doesn’t meet his shining green eyes. Big wings shadow over him, holding high, but the leathery span is covered in dust in the bright sunlight.

  Magic sparks around him, a feature he didn’t have when he was first on trial. What did he do to make them pull this sort of powerful binding magic out just for him?

  And it’s clearly affecting him.

  “He looks awful,” I whisper.

  Thin fingers slide through mine, and I’m surprised to look over and find Cat at my side. Her strange jewel-like eyes gleam into mine, and she appears to be the most assured person present today.

  I wonder if she spoke with Brody and he’s the cause of her happiness.

  “Don’t worry,” she hums in a conspiratorial tone. “I’ve been watching it all, and I won’t let anything happen to your lover.”

  My lover. I don’t know why that sounds so out of place.

  Is that what Alixx is? My lover?

  No. No, I don’t think one-night stands can be called something as romantic as that. Lovers are reserved for Western romances and Greek tragedies.

  Alixx Stone isn’t that at all.

  He’s a consuming passion. A sinful night. A darkest regret.

  And all I want is to have him back.

  Mick doesn’t grip Alixx’s shoulder, but he hovers a hand there, and without touching him, he shoves Alixx down into a seat at the center of the Elders’ ring with just his magic alone.

  They’re really expending a lot of power just to lock away one man…

  The jade color of Alixx’s tired eyes meets mine. He stares desperately at me like he’s falling to his death and I’m the only one left holding on.

  He blinks and washes that sad look away. He doesn’t meet my gaze again.

  “Mr. Stone, I trust you slept well?” Liddell asks, his sneer matching Alixx’s so much it’s disturbing.

  “Not one wink, thank you for asking, sir.” The assassin tips his chin up, arrogance so displayed that it chokes the breath out of the astounded crowd that’s watching him.

  Why is he such a pompous ass?

  His future is on the line here. Would it completely kill him to fake a little respect?

  “Mr. Stone, can you tell me, have you ever had relations with a possible Alice?”

  What. The. Fuck?

  Why would they ask him that? How would they know?

  My teeth clench together, and my gaze slices to the man at my side. Lighton’s brow lifts.

  “I didn’t fucking report on that,” he hisses through his teeth. “I-I told Liddell I wasn’t very close to you to get him the information he needed.”

  My heart skips a beat at how beaten down Lighton looks right now. We all seem that way lately. Quietly I slip my fingers into his and squeeze just lightly.

  He squeezes back, and it’s distracting for a single second.

  Before Alixx answers Liddell’s question.

  “What kind of relations? Can you be more specific, Elder?” the assassin taunts.

  Fuck.

  “Have you ever…crossed a line with a sacred Alice?”

  A brief considering pause.

  “What kind of line? Could you elaborate, please?”

  I swear on all the magic in Wonderland if he doesn’t shut his antagonizing mouth right now, I’m going to ambush him like an angry cat right here in the middle of the trial.

  “Mr. Stone, have you ever had sexual intercourse with an Alice?” Liddell growls out, and a current of whispers swirls through the audience.

  I hang on the next words out of Alixx’s mouth. We all hang on what he might say next.

  And he loves it.

  His lips part with a hint of a smile. The truth is bound to come crashing out any second now.

  Then he speaks.

  “Which Alice specifically, sir?”

  Oh, my fucking lost virginity.

  “Mr. Stone,” Mickey enunciates harshly, “answer the question.”

  “If his honor could just articulate what he’s trying to ask instead of being daftly coy, all of this would go a lot faster.” Alixx lifts his hands innocently from his sides, but magic zaps them righ
t back down.

  Liddell’s fiery eyes fume, and he straightens his hat atop his head before looking down with anger radiating off of him. “Did you steal Madison Torrent’s innocence and virginity?”

  The amusement that was in Alixx’s eyes just seconds ago fades away into down turned eyes and too much seriousness thinning his lips.

  And then he tips his head up.

  “No.” Honesty evens his tone. Liddell searches the man’s eyes for several seconds, but Alixx cannot lie.

  Not while sitting in that enchanted chair.

  Liddell storms away, turning on his heels and pushing from the crowd with his lips murmuring over and over again something I can’t hear.

  And I’m not paying enough attention to really care. Because my heart’s soaring with pounding happiness.

  Alixx didn’t lie. He didn’t steal my innocence away.

  Because I was never innocent. And I gave him every part of me without him asking.

  And I’d make the mistake again in a fucking heartbeat.

  Twenty-Three

  Madison

  The thriving happiness from this morning is beaten down so fast my stomach hurts from the whiplash of my emotions.

  It’s a new day, and therefore, it’s time for a new game.

  A crawling howl cuts through the mountaintops that Liddell so sweetly calls Creatures’ Cliff. The forest that dots the land between this kingdom and Wanderlust is just below, and somewhere close by is an isolated prison that I visited in the dead of night.

  Not that Liddell knows that.

  Whipping winds pull at my loose shirt and tied back hair. Rocks tumble down the steep edge beneath my foot with every shift of my boots.

  Apprehension climbs higher and higher inside my chest with each eerie noise and every unsettling rock that falls from above.

  The games are about to begin.

  “You going to let me inside you again?” Lighton whispers on a sexy tone against my ear.

  I roll my eyes at his husky sound, and it only makes him smile more.

  “You were absolutely zero help last time.”

  “That’s not true.”

  Another screeching bark echoes around us, and the smile on my lips falls away.

  “What are those noises?”

  Light looks up at the very top of the mountain above.

  “Wingless monkeys.”

  Wingless…monkeys.

  “So regular monkeys then?”

  Lighton’s upper lip curls like he’s disgusted I would call them such a name.

  “They like the isolation of Creatures’ Cliff. Many of the animals who inhabit this area are violent toward strangers because of what has happened to a lot of them.”

  Because of what’s happened to a lot of them.

  The words he spoke once about the Elders using animals to try to take their magic drift through my mind, and I can’t help but wonder what exactly these people did to the animals. And what they’re willing to do to anyone else for something they want.

  The creatures here are violent toward strangers.

  Like us. All gathered round for a good old-fashioned game of Whoever Survives Creatures’ Cliff is the Real Alice.

  Great.

  Lighton’s fingers pull at mine, and then his palms are sliding down to the small of my back before I ever fully face him. “I’m all in.” He dips his dark gaze down to mine. “I want you to know that. I like our relationship. I’m not reporting. I haven’t for a long time. And—” He swallows hard, and my pulse drills at the sight of his lowered gaze. “And Liddell sealed off the exit.”

  He sealed off the exit…that leads to the surface world.

  The very first thing that should enter my mind is I’ll never be able to leave this place. But that’s not even a thought in my head.

  Something else is much more concerning.

  “You can’t see your sister now…” His fingers tense, holding me a little tighter but never meeting my eyes again.

  He nods his head slowly.

  “You’ll never know if she’s okay…” My voice feels like it’s becoming smaller and smaller, but he seems to hear me each time.

  Another slow nod breaks my heart entirely.

  Cold wind shivers through me as I pull him in and just lock my arms around him. His strong body melds to mine like I’m holding us both up in this moment, and I honestly never want to let him go.

  We’ll stand here on this cliffside for the rest of our lives.

  Fuck the Alice Games.

  Fuck Liddell.

  Fuck the whole world.

  “Madison,” a crawling voice edges into my calming mantras. “The games are starting in the next sixty seconds. You will complete today’s task whether you are ready or not.” My head tilts away from Lighton’s warm neck, and I’m met with the glaring eyes of my great-great-grand-something or another.

  Fuck Liddell.

  He drones on anyway, more to the crowd than to me. “Today’s task,” he beams over to Gwennie, and she smiles right back.

  Nepotism at its finest, folks.

  “Today’s task, you will enter the first creation of Wonderland. This was created by someone I taught myself. Someone very dear to my heart. This creation is so perfect it has been replicated time and time again in our realm.” His gaze scans the watchful crowd. “The creator never wanted her creation destroyed. So no magic will catch this high up. Magic will not assist you in your games today. We will not be able to see your progress until you’ve passed that first level. The second level is a choice of loyalty that you and you alone can make, and where that choice leads will tell us more about you than any other game ever could. And your final trial is not dependent on how you exit; it’s if you exit. Some have been known to get lost in their desires. They get lost…and they never return. Like the creator of this creation.”

  Those ominous words settle into my chest and make it impossible to breathe. Kais’s palm pushes over my hip, and he turns me out of Lighton’s arms, forcing me to look him in the eyes.

  “You can do this. Today is our day.” The amount of certainty that rings in his words reverberates right into me.

  I believe him when he says it.

  I’d believe anything this man said.

  His palm lingers on my hip, and for a single moment, both of them are holding on to me, securing me safely between their arms.

  “Fifteen seconds,” Liddell calls out, but I don’t really know why.

  Gwen and I look around, unsure of where we’re supposed to go along the rocky edge of the mountainside.

  “Ten seconds.”

  Soft lips press to my temple, and Kais’s warmth bathes over me in complete calm.

  We can do this.

  “Five seconds.”

  I can fucking do this.

  “Three.”

  Dread drags through me.

  “Two.”

  Fear eats away at all that calm.

  “One.”

  I release their hands and close my eyes. And then at the very last second, Lighton snatches my hand right back.

  Just as the two of us are whisked away into the howling wind of Creatures’ Cliff.

  Twenty-Four

  Madison

  It’s a painful tearing of my skin, and when the darkness fades, I lift my arm to find it’s still handless. Gasps of air hit my lungs one after the other, but it doesn’t settle the terror that’s slamming through my chest as I watch my fingers appear from the nothingness one after the other.

  “What the fuck is this place?” Lighton steps forward first, and he brings my attention to a familiar wooden door that stands alone in the small concrete room.

  “Morrison.” I say his name like it’s a forgotten memory at the back of my mind.

  The shining metal infinity symbol at the center of the door narrows on me, and the knocker at the center opens the door’s mouth, but the voice that comes out isn’t his at all.

  “I believe that’s the Wanderlust creation, yes?” A
smooth feminine voice slips between the metal lips. “Morrison was made long after I was, but with the same magic. My name is Maisie.”

  I blink at her, my heart hammering in my ears with the reality of what she just said.

  “Are you named after someone?”

  Her soft tone lowers. “I was named after my creator. Just before she left through this door and never came back.”

  “You need to hurry.” Lighton’s chest brushes against my shoulder, but I can’t take my eyes off of the mysterious door with the bright light shining down from above her.

  His warning goes unnoticed.

  Her magic and her image surround this place. It haunts this place.

  Why?

  “Why did she leave?” I take a step closer, and the door simply watches me.

  “My job isn’t to answer questions, Madison. It’s to ask them.”

  I glance around, but the tea that I expect to see is nowhere in sight.

  “Trust me, I’ll get my answers much easier than Morri.”

  Great.

  My mind flashes back to the awkward meeting I had with Morrison and all the things I told him.

  “What—what happens to the secrets I tell creations like you?”

  “Your secrets are safe with me. I was created by someone who had more secrets than admissions.”

  “She and I are alike in that respect.”

  “So it seems,” Maisie says with a small smile. “Come closer, Madison.” Her simple request sends anxiety bursting through my chest.

  She’s assured me my secrets are safe, but there’s just something about walking up to the great unknown.

  It’s fucking terrifying.

  I take two steps closer, and I’m green eye to metal eye with her.

  “A little closer,” she whispers.

  Another small step, and I’m nearly touching the old wooden timber that shapes her arching frame.

  “Perfect,” she hums, and I can feel a strange cool gust of wind that must be her breath. “Hmm secrets, I see, I see. Show me someone you miss.”