An Autobiography or the Story of My Experiments with Truth

by M K Gandhi

  The appeal of which I am talking was to be heard at Veraval where plague was raging. I have a recollection that there were as many as fifty cases daily in the place with a population of 5,500. It was practically deserted, and I put up in a deserted dharmsala at some distance from the town. But where were the clients to stay? If they were poor, they had simply to trust themselves to God’s mercy.

  A friend who also had cases before the court had wiredM6 that I should put in an application for the camp to be moved to some other station because of the plague at Veraval. On my submitting the application, the sahib asked me: ‘Are you afraid?’

  I answered: ‘It is not a question of my being afraid, I think I can shift for myself, but what about the clients?’

  ‘The plague has come to stay in India,’ replied the sahib. ‘Why fear it? The climate of Veraval is lovely. (The sahib lived far away from the town in a palatial tent pitched on the seashore.) Surely people must learn to live thus in the open.’

  It was no use arguing against this philosophy. The sahib told his shirastedar: ‘Make a note of what Mr. Gandhi says, and let me know if it is very inconvenient for the vakils or the clients.’

  The sahib of course had honestly done what he thought was the right thing. But how could the man have an idea of the hardships of poor India? How was he to understand the needs, habits, idiosyncrasies and customs of the people? How was one, accustomed to measure things in gold sovereigns, all at once to make calculations in tiny bits of copper? As the elephant is powerless to think in the terms of the ant, in spite of the best intentions in the world, even so is the Englishman333 powerless to think in the terms of, or legislate for, the334 Indian.335

  But to resume the thread of the story. In spite of my successes, I had been thinking of staying on in Rajkot for some time longer when one day Kevalram Dave came to me and said: ‘Gandhi, we will not suffer you to vegetate here.M7 You must settle in Bombay.’

  ‘But who will find work for me there?’M8 I asked. ‘Will you find the expenses?’

  ‘Yes, yes, I will,’ said he. ‘We shall bring you down here sometimes as a big barrister from Bombay336 and drafting work we shall send you there. It lies with us vakils to make or mar a barrister.337 You have proved your worth in Jamnagar and Veraval, and I have therefore not the least anxiety about you. You are destined to do public work, and we will not allow you to be buried in Kathiawad. So tell me, then, when you will go to Bombay.’

  ‘I am expecting a remittance from Natal. As soon as I get it I will go,’ I replied.

  The money came in about two weeks, and I went to Bombay. I took chambers in Payne, Gilbert and Sayani’s338 offices, and it looked as though I had settled down.

  XXII

  FAITH ON ITS TRIAL

  Though I had hired chambers in the Fort339 and a house in Girgaum,340 God would not let me settle down. Scarcely had I moved into my new house when my second son Manilal, who had already been through an acute attack of smallpox some years back, had341 a severe attack of typhoid, combined with pneumonia and signs of delirium at night.

  The doctor was called in. He said medicine would have little effect, but342 eggs and chicken broth might be given with profit.

  Manilal was only ten years old. To consult his wishes was out of the question. Being his guardian I had to decide. The doctor was a very goodM1 Parsi. I told him that we were all vegetarians and that I could not possibly give either of the two things to my son. Would he therefore recommend something else?

  ‘Your son’s life is in danger,’ said the good doctor. ‘We could give him milk diluted with water, but that will not give him enough nourishment. As you know, I am called in by many Hindu families, and they do not object to anything I prescribe. I think you will be well advised not to be so hard on your son.’

  ‘What you say is quite right,’ said I. ‘As a doctor you could not do otherwise. But my responsibility is very great. If the boy had been grown up, I should certainly have tried to ascertain his wishes and respected them. But here I have to think and decide for him.M2 To my mind it is only on such occasions that a man’s faith is truly tested. Rightly or wrongly it is part of my religious conviction that man may not eat meat, eggs,343 and the like. There should be a limit even to the means of keeping ourselves alive. Even for life itself we may not do certain things. Religion, as I understand it, does not permit me to use meat or eggsM3 for me or mine even on occasions like this, and I must therefore take the risk that you say is likely. But I beg of you one thing. As I cannot avail myself of your treatment, I propose to try some hydropathic remedies which I happen to know. But I shall not know how to examine the boy’s pulse, chest, lungs, etc. If you will kindly look in from time to time to examine him and keep me informed of his condition, I shall be grateful to you.’

  The good doctor appreciated my difficulty and agreed to my request. Though Manilal could not have made his choice, I told him what had passed between the doctor and myself and asked him his opinion.

  ‘Do try your hydropathic treatment,’ he said. ‘I will not have eggs or chicken broth.’

  This made me glad, though I realized that, if I had given him either of these, he would have taken it.

  I knew Kuhne’s treatment344 and had tried it too. I knew as well that fasting also could be tried with profit. So I began to give Manilal hip-baths according to Kuhne, never keeping him in the tub for more than three minutes, and kept him on orange juice mixed with water for three days.

  But the temperature persisted, going up to 104°. At night he would be delirious. I began to get anxious. What would people say of me?345 What would my elder brother think of me? Could we not call in another doctor? Why not have an Ayurvedic physician? What right had the parents to inflict their fadsM4 on their children?

  I was haunted by thoughts like these. Then a contrary current would start. God would surely be pleased to see that I was givingM5 the same treatment to my son as I would give myself. I had faith in hydropathy, and little faith346 in allopathy. The doctors could not guarantee recovery.M6 At best they could experiment. The thread of life was in the hands of God. Why not trust it to Him and in His name go on with what I thought was the right treatment?M7

  My mind was torn between these conflicting thoughts. It was night. I was in Manilal’s bed lying by his side. I decided to give him a wet sheet pack. I got up, wetted a sheet,347 wrung the water out of it and wrapped it about Manilal, keeping only his head out and then covered him with two blankets. To the head I applied a wet towel. The whole body was burning like hot iron, and quite parched. There was absolutely no perspiration.

  I was sorely tired. I left Manilal in the348 charge of his mother, and went out for a walk on Chaupati to refresh myself. It was about ten o’clock. Very few pedestrians were out. Plunged in deep thoughts, I scarcely looked at them. ‘My honour is in Thy keeping, oh Lord, in this hour of trial,’ I repeated to myself. Ramanama was on my lips. After a short time I returned, my heart beating within my breast.

  No sooner had I entered the room than Manilal said, ‘You have returned, Bapu?’

  ‘Yes, darling.’349

  ‘Do please pull me out. I am burning.’

  ‘Are you perspiring, my boy?’

  ‘I am simply soaked. Do please take me out.’

  I felt his forehead. It was covered with beads of perspiration. The temperature was going down. I thanked God.

  ‘Manilal, your fever is sure to go now. A little more perspiration and then I will take you out.’M8

  ‘Pray, no. Do deliver me from this furnace. Wrap me some other time if you like.’

  I350 just managed to keep him under the pack for a few minutes more by diverting him. The perspiration streamed down his forehead. I undid the pack and dried his body. Father and son fell asleep in the same bed.

  And each slept like a log.M9 Next morning Manilal had much less fever. He went on thus for forty days on diluted milk and fruit juices. I had no fear now. It was an obstinate type of fever, but it had been got under con
trol.

  Today Manilal is the healthiest of my boys. Who can say whether his recovery was due to God’s grace, or to hydropathy, or to careful dietary and nursing? Let everyone decide according to his own faith. For my part I was sure that God had saved my honour, and that belief remains unaltered to this day.

  XXIII

  TO SOUTH AFRICA AGAIN

  Manilal was351 restored to health, but I saw that the Girgaum house was not habitable. It was damp and ill-lighted. So in consultation with Shri Revashankar Jagjivan I decided to hire some well-ventilated bungalow in a suburb of Bombay. I wandered about in Bandra and Santa Cruz. The slaughter-house in Bandra prevented our choice falling there. Ghatkopar and places near it were too far from the sea. At last we hit upon a fine bungalow in Santa Cruz, which we hired as being the best from the point of view of sanitation.

  I took a first-class season ticket from Santa Cruz to Churchgate, and remember having frequently felt a certain pride in being the only first-class passenger in my compartment. Often I walked to Bandra in order to take the fast train from there direct to Churchgate.

  I prospered in my profession better than I had expected. My South African clients often entrusted me with some work, and it wasM1 enough to enable me to pay my way.

  I had not yet succeeded in securing any work in the High Court, but I attended the ‘moot’352 that used to be held in those days, though I never ventured to take part in it. I recall Jamiatram Nanabhai taking a prominent part. Like other fresh barristers I made a point of attending the hearing of cases in the High Court, more, I am afraid, for enjoying353 the soporific breeze coming straight from the sea than for adding to my knowledge. I observed that I was not the only one to enjoy this pleasure.M2 It seemed to be the fashion354 and therefore nothing to be ashamed of.

  However I began to make use of the High Court library and make fresh acquaintances and355 felt that before long I should secure work in the High Court.

  Thus whilst on the one hand I began to feel somewhat at ease about my profession, on the other hand Gokhale, whose eyes were always on me, had been busy making his own plans on my behalf. He peeped in at my chambers twice or thrice every week, often in company with friends whom he wanted me to know, and he kept me acquainted with his mode of work.

  But it may be said that God has never allowed any of my own plans to stand. He has disposed them in His own way.

  Just when I seemed to be settling down as I had intended, I received an unexpected cable from South Africa: ‘Chamberlain expected here. Please return immediately.’356 I remembered my promise and cabled to say that I should be ready to start the moment they put me in funds. They promptly responded, I gave up the chambers and started for South Africa.

  I had an idea that the work there would keep me engaged for at least a year, so I kept the bungalow and left my wife andM3 children there.

  I believed then that enterprising youths who could not find an opening in the country should emigrate to other lands. I therefore took with me four or five such youths, one of whom was Maganlal Gandhi.357

  The Gandhis were and are a big family. I wanted to find out all those who wished to leave the trodden path and venture abroad.M4 My father used to accommodate a number of them in some State service. I wanted them to be free from this spell. I neither could nor would secure other service for them;358 I wanted them to be self-reliant.

  But as my ideals advanced,359 I tried to persuade these youths also to conform their ideals to mine, and I had the greatest success in guiding Maganlal Gandhi. But about this later.

  The separation from wife and360 children, the breaking up of a settled establishment,M5 and the going from the certain to the uncertain—all this was for a moment painful, but I had inured myself to an uncertain life. I think it is wrong to expect certainties in this world, where all else but God that is Truth is an uncertainty. All that appears and happens about and around us is uncertain, transient. But there is a Supreme Being hidden therein as a certainty, and one would be blessed if one could catch a glimpse of that Certainty and hitch one’s waggon to it. The quest for that Truth is the summum bonum of life.M6

  I reached Durban not a day too soon.361 There was work waiting for me. The date for the deputation to wait on Mr. Chamberlain had been fixed.362 I had to draft the memorial to be submitted to him and accompany the deputation.363

  PART VI

  I

  ‘LOVE’S LABOUR’S LOST’?

  Mr. Chamberlain had come to get a gift ofM1 35 million pounds from South Africa,1 and to win the hearts of Englishmen and2 Boers. So he gave a cold shoulder to the Indian deputation.

  ‘You know,’ he said, ‘that the Imperial Government has littleM2 control over self-governing Colonies. Your grievances seem to be genuine. I shall do what I can, but you must try your best to placate the Europeans, if you wish to live in their midst.’

  The reply cast a chill over the members of the deputation. I was also disappointed. It was an eye-opener for us all, and I saw that we should start with our work de novo.3 I explained the situation to my colleagues.

  As a matter of fact there was nothing wrong about Mr. Chamberlain’s reply.M3 It was well that he did not mince matters. He had brought home to us in a rather gentle way the rule of might being right or4 the law of the sword.

  But sword we had none. We scarcely had the nerve and the muscle even to receive sword-cuts.

  Mr. Chamberlain had given only a short time to the subcontinent.M4 If Srinagar to Cape Comorin is 1,900 miles, Durban to Cape Town is not less than 1,100 miles, and Mr. Chamberlain had to cover the long distance at hurricane speed.

  From Natal he hastened to the Transvaal. I had to prepare the case for the Indians there as well and submit it to him. But how was I to get to Pretoria? Our people there were not in a position to procure the necessary legal facilities for my getting to them in time. The war had reduced the Transvaal to a howling wilderness. There were neither provisions nor clothing available. Empty or closed shops were there, waiting to be replenished or opened, but that was a matter of time. Even refugees could not be allowed to return until the shops were ready with provisions. Every Transvaaler had therefore to obtain a permit. The European had no difficulty in getting one, but the Indian found it very hard.

  During the war many officers and soldiers had come to South Africa from India and Ceylon, and it was considered to be the duty of the British authorities to provide for such of them as decided to settle there. They had in any event to appoint new officers, and these experienced men came in quite handy. The quick ingenuity of some of them created a new department. It showed their resourcefulness. There was a special department for the Negroes. Why then should there not be one for the Asiatics? The argument seemed to be quite plausible. When I reached the Transvaal, this new department had already been opened and was5 gradually spreading its tentacles.M5 The officers who issued permits to the returning refugees might issue them to all, but how could they do so in respect of the Asiatics without the intervention of the new department? And if the permits were to be issued on the recommendation of the new department, some of the responsibility and burden of the permit officers could thus be lessened. This was how they had argued. The fact, however, was that the new department wanted some apology for work, and the men wanted money. If there had been no work, the department would have been found unnecessary and would have been discontinued. So they found this work for themselves.

  The Indians had to apply to this department. A reply would be vouchsafed many days after. And as there were large numbers wishing to return to the Transvaal, there grew up an army of intermediaries or6 touts who, with the officers, looted the poor Indians to the tune of thousands. I was told that no permit could be had without influence and that in some cases one had to pay up to hundred pounds in spite of the influence which one might bring to bear. Thus there seemed to be no way open to me. I went to my old friend, the Police Superintendent of Durban, and said to him: ‘Please introduce me to the Permit Officer and help me to o
btain a permit. You know that I have been a resident of the Transvaal.’ He immediately put on his hat, came out and secured me a permit. There was hardly an hour left before my train was to start. I had kept my luggage ready. I thanked Superintendent Alexander and started for Pretoria.7

  I now had a fair idea of the difficulties ahead. On reaching Pretoria I drafted the memorial.8 In Durban I do not recollect the Indians having been asked to submit in advance the names of their representatives, but here there was the new department and it9 asked to do so. The Pretoria Indians had already come to know that the officers wanted to exclude me.10

  But another chapter is necessary for this painful though amusing incident.

  II

  AUTOCRATS11 FROM ASIA

  The officers at the head of the new department were at a loss to know how I had entered the Transvaal.12 They inquired of the Indians13 who used to go to them, but these could say nothing definite. The officers only ventured a guess that I might have succeeded in entering without a permit on the strength of my old connections. If that was the case, I was liable to be arrested!

  It is a general practice, on the termination of a big war, to invest the Government of the day with special powers.14 This was the case in South Africa. The Government had passed a Peace Preservation Ordinance,15 which16 provided that anyone entering the Transvaal without a permit should be liable to arrest and imprisonment. The question of arresting me under this provision was mooted, but no one could summon up courage enough to ask me to produce my permit.17

  The officers had of course sent telegrams to Durban, and when they found that I had entered with a permit, they were disappointed. But they were not the men to be defeated by such disappointment. Though I had succeeded in entering the Transvaal, they could still successfully prevent me from waiting on Mr. Chamberlain.