On Your Knees

by Liz Bradford

  “Adam, God is a God of miracles; that’s what He does. If He can mend his relationship with mankind, I think He can handle your and Ella’s friendship. I was so messed up, yet God redeemed me. He can do the same for you.”

  “Okay, now you aren’t talking about Ella and me…”

  “No, I guess not. But it comes down to humility, Adam. Humble yourself before God, humble yourself before Ella, and those relationships can be mended and redeemed.”

  Adam didn’t respond. He did know how. What could he say? He had no argument for Caleb, even if he didn’t like what he said. Humility was not a quality that Adam knew much about. But it seemed like God was forcing him to his knees with one bad experience after another. But could he willingly go to his knees? Could he ever admit that he wasn’t enough on his own? And could God actually forgive him for all the ways he had screwed up? Could Ella?

  Chapter 9

  Adam was sitting at his desk Monday morning digging further into Ella’s case file from seventeen years ago. He had spent all of Friday afternoon in the evidence locker scouring for the missing DNA. But he had found nothing. This morning’s search was turning up nothing as well. Either no DNA was logged, or someone deleted every trace of it.

  Amelia looked up at him and said, “It’s nice to have you back to normal, Jamison.”

  “Normal?” He met her eyes.

  “Not hung over and whistling.”

  “I was whistling?”

  “Yep.”

  “Oh, sorry.” He shot her a non-apologetic smile. He considered Amelia for a moment, not sure if he should ask the question that was on his mind.

  “Just ask, Adam.”

  “Am I really that transparent?”

  She laughed. “Yes, but only when you aren’t trying to hide things.”

  He shook his head. “Fine. I was wondering if you think Ella would be willing to spend some time alone with me. I’d like to talk to her about some things.”

  A knowing smile came across Amelia’s face, clearly she knew the whole story. He sighed. He wasn’t quite sure how he felt about her knowing all about his relationship with Ella, but at the same time he was somehow comforted by the fact that Ella had someone she could talk to about what had happened. What surprised him though, was the fact that Amelia didn’t seem to judge him for how he had treated Ella.

  “Adam, I believe she is willing, but she doesn’t think she’s ready. I’m not sure she ever will. But she’s more ready than she’d let on. Actually, tomorrow evening we have Bible study at our house, and I think Ella would rather not be there for it. Would you like to pick her up from school and hang out with her?”

  His heart jumped. “Really? You think she’ll be okay with it?”

  “I’ll ask her to be sure. But I think it would be good for both of you.”

  “Thanks, Amelia.”

  Silence fell between the detectives, and they continued to work. More information had come back from the crime lab, but it wasn’t much to go on. So far Adam’s research had come up empty. The crime lab had determined that the same kind of knife had been used to kill Kimberly, Ava, and the cat, but they still hadn’t determined what make and model of the knife. All they knew is the blade was probably around four inches long and was a straight edge, not serrated. Not much to go on.

  Adam was looking back at the case file when his cell phone vibrated on his hip. He grabbed it and looked at the caller ID. He didn’t recognize the number, but he knew it was a local cell phone based on the prefix. He answered, “Detective Adam Jamison.”

  “Hi, Adam.” It was Ella. Why was she calling him in the middle of the school day? And why him and not Amelia.

  “Ella, hey. What’s going on?” Amelia looked up from her paperwork and tilted her head to the side with one eyebrow up.

  “We are out at recess and a couple of my students came up to me and said they saw a strange man looking at us from the bushes.” Her voice shook.

  Adam jumped to his feet and grabbed his jacket and keys. “We’re on our way.”

  “No, Adam, just you. Amelia will freak. It was Molly and Callie who saw him.”

  He stopped; Amelia stood. “Oh. It’s too late though; she’s already curious. I’m not going to be able to leave her here.”

  Amelia’s eyes narrowed.

  “Oh well. Okay. Just come. I’m taking the kids back inside.”

  “We’ll be there as fast as we can.” He wanted to say more but wasn’t sure what. He wanted to reassure her that it would be okay, and he would take care of her. But he couldn’t say that right now.

  “Thank you, Adam.” They hung up, and Adam went straight for the door. His pregnant partner on his six.

  They walked by Jared’s desk, and he asked, “What’s up?”

  “Wanting to know myself,” Amelia said from behind him.

  Adam stopped and turned toward them. He rubbed the back of his neck. “Ella called; a couple of her girls saw a guy in the bushes.”

  Amelia glared at him. “That’s why Ella said not to bring me. Which girls?”

  He closed his eyes. “Molly and Callie.”

  “What?” Becca exclaimed from her desk a few feet away.

  “Well, we are coming too.” Jared said.

  “Fine, but the three of you are staying outside and looking around. I’ll go in and talk to Ella and the girls. The last thing your daughters need is their parents coming to school all freaked out.” All three parents looked at Adam, surprised by his forthrightness. “You know I’m right.”

  They all nodded and the four headed out and to the school. When they arrived, Adam stuck to what he said and made the three parents stay outside while he went in. The secretary met him at the door. “Hi, Detective. Miss Perkins said you were coming. We’ve gone on soft lock-down and are keeping all the kids inside the building until further notice. She and the girls who saw the man are in their classroom. Do you know where that is?”

  “I do. Thank you. I have three other detectives outside; they are going to start looking around.”

  “Okay. Thank you.”

  Adam made his way down the hallway to Ella’s classroom. The door was open, so he stepped into the doorway. Molly was the first one to see him and waved enthusiastically. He smiled at her. Ella turned from where she was standing in front of the class and smiled at him too. His heart did a little flip. To have her smile at him was the best thing he could ever imagine. For a brief second, he completely forgot why he was there.

  But Ella’s words brought him back to reality. “Ad— I mean, Detective Jamison, thank you for coming.” She walked over to him but turned to her students and said, “Keep working, please.”

  “You all right, Ella?” Adam whispered.

  “I am, I think; thanks, Adam. What do you need from us? I didn’t see anything. I looked over where the girls pointed, but I saw no one. If it had been anyone else, I might write it off, but Molly and Callie are always truthful. And with all that’s been happening… Plus the looks on their faces… they were scared, Adam. That scared me more than anything.”

  “Scares me too, but we’ll find him. I need to talk to Callie and Molly individually and see what they can tell me about what they saw and hopefully what he looks like.”

  “Okay. There’s a little table in the hall. That would probably be a good place to talk to them.”

  “Perfect. I have to say I’m glad they both know me, hopefully they will feel comfortable enough.”

  “They will. They both looked happy when I told them I was calling you.” Color rose in her cheeks.

  He couldn’t help but wink at her. He took Molly into the hall first and then Callie, but they couldn’t give him much detail. The only thing they really agreed on about how he looked was that he had blue eyes. That fact set a chill down his spine. One thought he was wearing green, the other blue. One thought he had dark hair, the other said it was gray. Not super helpful, but it was something. He took both girls outside afterward so that they could show him exactly where t
hey had seen the man.

  All four detectives came inside after they had thoroughly searched the area the girls indicated. They found Ella alone in her classroom.

  “Hey, all,” she greeted them. “Did you find anything?”

  Adam answered, “Unfortunately, no.”

  Jared said, “Could have just been their overactive imaginations.”

  “I don’t know,” Ella said. “They looked really scared. And I know I don’t know them as well as you do, obviously, but it doesn’t seem to be their norm to overreact to something. Maybe I’m just scared and made it more than it is. I’m sorry.”

  Adam didn’t like where she was going. “No, Elly, don’t apologize. I’m not willing to risk that it wasn’t something. If that creep is hanging around, I don’t want you to be here without someone right here with you.”

  Amelia said, “I agree with Adam.”

  “I feel like I’m safe if the kids are here. There is no way he could get in here and take me while they are around.”

  Adam said, “Yeah, but after school, I don’t think you should hang around without one of us here with you.”

  “And we will be,” Amelia added. “If for some reason Jamison or I can’t come we’ll send someone to be here as soon as school lets out.”

  Ella smiled. “Thank you.” Her shoulders relaxed a little.

  He hoped beyond all hope that she would be fine, and that they would catch the unsub before he was able to hurt Ella, or anyone else.

  Tuesday afternoon, Adam pulled into the school parking lot, his mouth dry. He was so glad that Ella had agreed to let him be her chauffeur tonight, but his nerves were wreaking havoc on him. Yet, he had a slight spring to his steps as he entered the building. He couldn’t wait to see Ella. He hoped they would be able to talk tonight, but he had no idea how he would even start the conversation.

  He walked down the hallway and could hear Ella’s sweet voice filling her classroom.

  O soul, are you weary and troubled?

  No light in the darkness you see?

  There’s light for a look at the Savior,

  And life more abundant and free!

  He felt a little guilty but couldn’t resist leaning up against the doorpost just out of sight. He took in the sound of her voice, but the words, not just her voice, pulled at something deep in his soul.

  Turn your eyes upon Jesus, Look full on his wonderful face,

  And the things of earth will grow strangely dim

  In the light of his glory and grace.

  He lifted himself off the door frame and knocked gently as Ella started on the second verse. Part of him just wanted to stay out there and listen to her sing, but that would be rude. Plus, he didn’t want to deal with what the words of her song were pleading for him to do. He wasn’t ready to turn his eyes upon Jesus. What had Jesus ever done for him?

  “Hey, Adam, come on in.”

  He smiled at her.

  “So, you get to be my babysitter tonight, huh?” Her eyes were wide, and she bit her lip.

  His tense muscles relaxed; he wasn’t the only one that was nervous. “It seems so. I hope that’s okay.” He locked eyes with her, desperate to read anything in her eyes. She just stared back at him as if she was trying to do the same thing.

  Finally, she said, “I think it’s okay.” She turned towards the whiteboard and continued erasing the work from the day. He couldn’t take his eyes off of her. Her long, green shirt clung to her hips and flowed over a pair snug brown pants. He diverted his eyes.

  In effort to keep his eyes off Ella, he glanced around the classroom. It was bright and colorful. He couldn’t imagine all the time she must have spent stapling pictures up on not one but four bulletin boards. “Is there anything I can help you with, Ella?”

  She turned back towards him and tilted her head. “Really?”

  He nodded.

  “Sure. Actually, can you hang these up?” She reached for a stack of funny looking owls that had clearly been created by her third graders. “There are paper clips hanging from the ceiling around the room. Just put them up randomly around the room.”

  “Sure.” He took the projects from Ella; his hand brushed hers slightly sending a tingling sensation up his entire arm. He hung the owls and wondered if it would be the same to hold her hand as it had been when they were teenagers. Would her lips taste the same as they did back then? What would it be like— Stop it, Adam! He needed to not continue down that line of thought.

  “Adam?” Thankfully, Ella broke into his thoughts with a question of her own.

  He looked up at where she now sat at her desk working on a stack of papers.

  “Now tell me. How did you end up becoming a cop? I thought you were headed to the NBA? I thought basketball was your life.”

  He paused what he was doing and smiled ruefully at her. Basketball had been his life, and that’s part of how he’d managed to lose her. “I was in college when I realized that there was more to life than basketball. Wish I had realized sooner, but… Anyway, I was at a party my sophomore year, when I saw a guy slip something into his date’s drink. I didn’t think anything of it; I had already had a few drinks and wasn’t fully there. Plus, there was a piece of me that thought I should just mind my own business. Well, after I left the party and was walking across campus, I heard someone crying. Thankfully, I hadn’t gotten wasted knowing I had practice the next morning. I found the same girl hiding behind some bushes all battered and bruised. Her skirt and legs were all bloody and instantly I knew what had happened.”

  “Oh no, that poor girl,” Ella said with the most genuine, understanding sympathy Adam had ever heard. It crushed him to think that Ella knew exactly how that girl felt.

  “I gave her my jacket and called 911. She told me that he had tried to roofie her, but she hadn’t had anymore of her drink once she realized she had left it alone for a moment. So, he got angry and beat her and forced himself on her. I stayed with her until the paramedics and cops got there. I was able to give my statement to the cops and ended up testifying at the trial.”

  “Did he go to prison?”

  “Yes, he did. Cops said that was thanks to my testimony.”

  “Wow, Adam.”

  He smiled. “That’s when I realized I could do a lot more good as a detective than as a professional basketball player. I continued to play—I was there on scholarship after all—but I changed my major and headed down the road that brought me to where I am today.”

  The smile she gave him made him forget how to breathe. He hung the last of the owls and walked toward her desk. “What do you want to do this evening? Have errands you need to run? Want to eat out? Or I could make us something back at my place, although I’m not sure what I have, or we could get takeout? We could watch a movie or something?” He stuffed his hands in his pockets.

  “Hmmm… Definitely in the mood to keep it low key. I guess get takeout.”

  “I have all three ‘Back to the Future’ movies; we could watch one or all of them.”

  He got the smile he was hoping for. “Those are still some of my favorites.”

  The air couldn’t come in and out fast enough. Breathe, Adam. “I thought so.”

  “All right. It’s a plan. I’m not quite done here yet.”

  He took a step forward but pushed his feet into the floor. He wanted to eliminate the space between them, but he didn’t dare. “Anything else I can help with?”

  “I don’t think so unless you think you can grade penmanship papers?”

  He laughed. “Do your kids write solely in caps?”

  “Do you really still do that?”

  He pulled his hands from his pockets and lifted his palms to the ceiling. “More than ever.”

  She shook her head and laughed at him. “Just a couple more stacks to grade, and then we can get out of here.”

  “Okay.” He wandered around the room while she worked. He read every last thing displayed on the walls. It was the only way to keep his mind from dwelling on
what could have been.

  Ella finished her work about twenty minutes later, and just before 4:30 they headed out of the school building. Neither spoke until they arrived at his car.

  “Wow!” Ella voice sang. “You still have your dad’s old ’67 Chevy Impala! I thought you totaled it in high school.”

  “I did, and my dad was furious. He was like ‘I didn’t keep that car in mint condition and give it to you so you could wreck it.’ But I kept the wreckage and started fixing it up after college. Completely rebuilt her; just finished a few years ago.”

  “She’s a beauty.” Ella ran her fingers along the car’s hood.

  “Yes, she is.” But he wasn’t looking at the car.

  Ella couldn’t believe she’d agreed to hang out with Adam. Once they’d decided what to get for dinner, the ride back to his place was quiet. They needed to talk. So much needed to be said, but she had no idea where to even start. Lord, will Adam and I ever be able to clear this tense air? Help us, please. Help us to at least have a good evening even if we don’t talk about anything.

  Adam drove, and Ella practiced in her head what she might say to him, but nothing made sense enough to say. All that she managed to do was create a knot in her stomach.

  Adam turned down a familiar street. “Ella, sorry I’ve been quiet.”

  “No, it’s okay. Me too. You live down here?”

  A sheepish grin appeared on his face.

  “What?”

  He licked his lips. “Yes, I do. Bought a little house a few years back, I think you’ll like it.” Adam pulled into the driveway of a cute little bungalow.

  She let her mouth drop open, and her heart froze in place. “You didn’t!?”

  “I did.” His little grin had become a full smile, but the worry lines remained. His concern for her thoughts about it was endearing.

  She smiled back at him. “I was wondering who was on the other end of the bidding war.”

  “That was you?!” His eyes grew wide. It was his turn to looked shocked.

  “Yep. I would have kept going, but I was too unsure about living on my own, so I decided to let it go.”