Home Sweet Mess

by Allison Ashley

“You seemed fine earlier,” she said, a question in her tone.

  Did she feel guilty she hadn’t noticed? Logan’s attention had mainly been on her that afternoon, instead of football or Andrew.

  Something about her provoked him more than he was used to.

  “I was. It came on really fast. Something similar happened last week, and I woke up the next morning feeling normal. I think I just need to get some rest.”

  Her eyebrows pinched together. “Text me when you get home, okay?”

  Andrew nodded, and they left. He was quiet on the drive home, and Logan kept side-eying him. His friend didn’t look well. Logan didn’t say anything, but by the time Andrew pulled into his driveway, Logan felt a little uneasy leaving him alone.

  “You don’t look good,” Logan said.

  “I feel like shit.”

  “Are you sure you’re good to drive home?”

  “Yeah. I’m fine.”

  “Just call if you need something, okay?” Logan wasn’t convinced, but Andrew was a grown man and could make that call for himself. “Thanks for inviting me today.” He held out his hand, and Andrew shook it. Andrew’s palm was sweaty, warm, and unsteady when he pulled back.

  Something wasn’t right. “Dude, you sure you’re okay?”

  “I don’t…I don’t know.”

  Logan paused for a moment then got out of the car and went to Andrew’s side. He opened the door. “Trade spots with me.”

  Andrew nodded weakly and slid out, shuffling to the passenger side. He leaned his head back against the seat, not saying a word as Logan drove him to the emergency room.

  Chapter Five

  An hour after the guys left, Andrew called. Jeni picked up on the first ring.

  “I thought I told you to text me when you got home! It’s been—”

  “Jeni, it’s Logan.”

  “Logan? Why are you calling me? Is Andrew all right?”

  “He’s okay, but I brought him to the ER—”

  “Which one?”

  “Saint John’s.”

  “Room?”

  “Fifteen.”

  “I’m on my way.”

  She’d never moved so fast in her life and walked into the hospital sixteen minutes later. She burst into the room and rushed to her brother’s bedside. “Andrew?”

  An IV was in his arm, and a large bag of clear fluid hung on a pole beside him. His face was pale, and he kept his head against the pillow as he spoke. “I got lightheaded when we got to Logan’s house and wasn’t sure I could drive. He thought I should come here. So far everything has been negative, like flu and strep. There are a few more test results we’re waiting on.”

  She wanted to be reassuring. “I’m sure it’s just a virus or something. I feel terrible I didn’t notice you weren’t feeling well.”

  “He seems a little better since they gave him medication and started the fluids,” Logan put in.

  Her eyes darted to him for the first time. He sat in a chair against the wall, hands in his lap and eyes worried.

  “Thank you for bringing him.”

  Logan nodded.

  “You don’t have to stay,” she said. “I won’t leave.”

  “I want to,” Logan said then looked at Andrew and added, “If that’s okay.”

  “Sure.” Andrew closed his eyes.

  Relief filled her. She didn’t mind being here alone with her brother, but it was nice to have someone else with her. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but she just had a bad feeling. Something seemed off.

  In that moment, an older man in a white coat came into the room. His face was serious, and he slid the glass door closed behind him. “Andrew, I have the results of your lab work. There are a few things that concern me, and I’d like to admit you to run some additional tests.”

  Jeni’s hand went to the blanket-covered mattress for support, and out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Logan move forward in his seat.

  Andrew swallowed. “Okay, but what do you mean? What was concerning?”

  “Your white blood cells are abnormally high, and your red blood cells are very low. I’m surprised you were able to walk in here on your own.”

  “I had help,” Andrew admitted, glancing at Logan.

  “What could that mean?” Jeni asked the doctor.

  “There are a lot of possibilities. It still could be an infection, a virus like mono. The lymph nodes in your neck are enlarged, so that’s high on my list of what could be going on.”

  “I had mono in college,” Andrew said. “Can you get that more than once?”

  “It’s possible. It’s rare, but when it does resurface, it’s usually pretty debilitating.”

  That could explain it. Jeni was glad to have a possible answer.

  “I want to be honest with you that it could also be something more serious,” the doctor continued. “Some of your white blood cells were atypical, or unusual in appearance. Along with your recent history of night sweats and fevers, I want to biopsy one of the lymph nodes and perform a bone marrow biopsy to rule out lymphoma or other blood disorder.”

  Jeni’s stomach dropped, and for a second, she thought she might vomit.

  Lymphoma? Andrew might have cancer?

  Both Andrew’s and Logan’s faces had paled. Jeni probably looked the same. They were three ghosts in an emergency room.

  “I’m sorry I couldn’t give you better news or more definitive news. We’ll know more in a day or two.” The doctor pursed his lips and tipped his head at Andrew. “Someone will be by shortly to transfer you to a room, and another physician will take over. They’ll give you more information about each procedure before they do anything, all right?”

  “Um. Okay, thank you.” Andrew’s voice shook slightly.

  Things moved pretty quickly after that, as the nurse came in immediately after the doctor left. They rolled Andrew to a room on the sixth floor, and a resident came in to introduce himself and explain the bone marrow biopsy. Evidently it would be done right there in the room and was a relatively simple procedure to draw tissue from the bone in Andrew’s pelvis.

  Jeni and Logan were asked to leave during the procedure, and they walked down the hall to the empty waiting area, Logan a few strides behind her. He crossed the empty room to a row of chairs against the wall and sat with his elbows propped on his knees, his head in his hands.

  Jeni absently filled a cup of water. She walked to where Logan sat and stood next to him, downing the contents before setting the empty cup on a side table. Her legs felt wobbly, and her eyes burned with unshed tears. Her chin began to tremble, and she knew they wouldn’t be contained for long.

  Logan stood and opened his arms to her.

  She immediately turned away, not wanting him to see her cry. She inhaled a shaky breath and exhaled, the whoosh of air coupled with a soft sound of anguish. Her arm dropped to her side, and she sniffed, hot tears streaming down her cheeks.

  A hand gently brushed hers, the touch light and tentative.

  Jeni relaxed a little and closed her fingers around his, taking some comfort in his gesture. Her initial withdrawal had been more reflex than a true desire to be alone. Maybe he sensed that.

  She kept her hand in his but didn’t turn around and face him, and they stood there for several moments. She took a deep breath, and the clean scent of him surrounded her. For this brief moment, they put aside their disagreements and sarcastic banter.

  Jeni had no idea what would happen next, whether they’d receive news that it was nothing serious or if their lives were about to change forever. But she did know one thing, and it surprised the hell out of her.

  She was glad Logan was here.

  He squeezed her hand and let go, and she looked back to find him lowering himself back into the chair. His blue eyes met hers, soft and sympathetic.

  Sympathy wasn’t something she typically appreciated. She’d experienced her fair share of medical issues after the car accident, and people’s I’m sorrys and get better soons had become
redundant and hollow.

  Words didn’t change anything. Words couldn’t make her heal faster or return what she’d lost.

  Her scholarship.

  Her independence, even if that loss had been temporary. It had been long enough.

  The life she’d always envisioned, with a man who loved her and a house full of children.

  All of that had changed in an instant, and the only thing she could do was pivot and move forward in another direction. Set new goals and forge a new path, even if it was different than she’d ever imagined. It was easier said than done, and few people truly understood the impact that accident had had on her.

  Strangely, though, what Logan offered her in this moment didn’t feel like pity. It was reassuring. And soothing. Something in his eyes told her he’d been here before and his sympathy was from a place of understanding and shared experience.

  This wasn’t the first time she’d had that feeling, that there was more to him than he let people see.

  What kinds of things did he keep hidden?

  She sat beside him, resisting the urge to lay her head on his shoulder. She was suddenly exhausted, even though a quick glance at the wall told her it was barely eleven o’clock.

  “Tell me something.” She kept her eyes on her feet and the old tennis shoes she’d slipped on in such a hurry. She hadn’t even put on socks.

  He turned his head to look at her. “Like what?”

  “Anything. Just talk to me. Keep my mind from going down the dark path it keeps trying to sprint toward.”

  “It might be nothing,” he pointed out. “A virus that just needs to run its course.”

  His voice lacked conviction, but she didn’t object to his attempt to keep things positive.

  “I know.” She sighed. “Still, I’m not a patient person, and I hate the waiting. I’m asking you to distract me.”

  He didn’t say anything for a few seconds, and when she glanced over at him expectantly, a wry grin passed his lips. “I’m thinking.”

  “Think faster,” she said, the familiar spark of ire she often had around Logan a welcome feeling.

  He chuckled. “Do you know how I met your brother?”

  “No.” Andrew had talked about his friend Logan for a couple of years, and she’d just assumed they met in college. “Wasn’t it at KU?”

  Logan shook his head. “We were there at the same time but didn’t know each other. It was actually his first year of law school. One Sunday, I was watching football in my condo and heard the guy who’d just moved in next door yelling at the television every time something happened in the game. I realized he was watching the same thing, and I figured it was as good a time as any to meet my new neighbor. I went over to invite him to watch the game, but when I saw his TV was three times the size of mine, I offered to trade a few beers to watch it on his screen.”

  Jeni grinned. “Football and beer. The ultimate bromance meet-cute.”

  “It was sort of ours too, you know. You and I drank beer and talked sports the first day we met.”

  She snorted. “Amongst other things.”

  He cocked an eyebrow and just smiled, a sort of secretive expression on his face. “Anyway, it became a regular thing for Andrew and me to watch football together. We did that for almost two years, even when I bought a house and moved.”

  “You already bought a house?” She’d probably be renting for at least another five or ten years before she had enough money for a down payment. “Aren’t you my age?”

  “I’m twenty-seven,” he said.

  “Impressive,” she said and meant it.

  His gaze drifted away, and he shrugged. “I’m not saying it’s paid off already. But it was important to me to put down permanent roots and have a stable place to live. A home that’s mine.”

  Jeni could understand that, but she didn’t quite feel the same. She liked Kansas City so far, but moving here had been more about leaving Nebraska than finding a place to settle down. The ability to pick up and move if she needed to, or even if she just wanted to, was almost as important. She wanted space of her own but figured she could find it anywhere and relished the freedom to make that call for herself.

  “So, where’d you learn to cook?” Logan asked. “The food tonight was awesome.”

  Tonight? Had it really just been a few hours ago that they were in her living room, eating and watching the games? It felt like days ago.

  “My mom,” she said. “She’s like the Pioneer Woman. Hangs out in the kitchen and makes these big meals while my dad works the farm. I didn’t pay much attention when I was younger, but as I got older, I started helping out and trying to learn a few things.” After the accident, she’d nearly gone crazy being stuck at her parent’s house and had been desperate for things to keep her busy. Helping with meals had been one way to escape.

  Her mind immediately shifted to those challenging years and how, if that had been her only escape, maybe things would have turned out differently.

  She could have finished her degree earlier and been further along in her career. Maybe she wouldn’t have such a bad taste in her mouth when it came to men and relationships. Perhaps she’d be a little more open-minded and less closed off.

  It hadn’t happened that way though. She’d allowed someone—her ex-husband—to lure her in another direction, and it had felt like the right decision at the time. She’d eventually seen the error of her ways but not until she’d wasted several years of her life.

  But if there was one thing she’d learned from the past, it was to never make the same mistake again. Repeating that decision was something she was determined not to do.

  No matter what.

  Chapter Six

  Jeni had gone somewhere in her head, and Logan took the opportunity to study her. Her hair was still pulled high atop her head, and he marveled at how soft it looked. In a move that was quickly becoming familiar, she reached up to readjust her glasses. She had on the same Broncos jersey as earlier, but instead of jeans, she now wore black yoga pants.

  Had she been changing for bed when he called her? Did she sleep in a T-shirt or maybe something that revealed a little more skin? Maybe she didn’t wear anyth—

  Whoa. He slammed the brakes on that train of thought.

  He cleared his throat and shifted in his chair.

  “Anyway.” She brought his attention back to the present conversation. “I enjoy cooking, but it feels like a waste when it’s just me. That’s why I go all out when I know someone else is coming over, like today.”

  “I, for one, am glad. You can cook for me anytime.” He loved his mom more than anything, but she was a terrible cook. A meal from her was almost guaranteed to be takeout or something from a box. He’d never complained though—she did the best she could, and he never went hungry.

  Jeni arched an eyebrow and looked at him, a question in her gaze.

  He met her gaze head on. “I mean it. Against my better judgment, I find I enjoy your company. Most of the time. We should hang out more.”

  She narrowed her eyes.

  He laughed. “What? Why do you look so skeptical?”

  “I’m not the easiest person to get along with. I know that.” She frowned a little, a sort of confusion clouding her features. “I’m just trying to figure out what you’re after.”

  “Friendship? Laughter? Witty banter?” He nudged her elbow with his. “Arguing can be fun when it’s done right.”

  Her features relaxed, and a small smile tipped her lips. Logan’s stomach clenched, and he curled his fingers into a fist. Damn, he was attracted to her. Every time she smiled—which wasn’t often—that attraction pushed front and center in his brain.

  And elsewhere.

  “That’s true,” she said quietly. “Maybe you get me, Logan Davis. There aren’t many people out there who do.”

  That thought was strangely satisfying, and a warmth settled beneath his ribs. He relaxed his shoulders a little, and his upper arm rested against hers. She didn’t move away. In
fact, it almost felt as if she leaned a little closer.

  “Miss Bishop?” A nurse peered into the waiting room. “They’re all finished with the biopsy. You can come back to the room now if you’d like.”

  Jeni was on her feet immediately. “Thank you.”

  Logan stood and followed her to Andrew’s room. Andrew was sitting up in the bed, looking exactly the same as when they left.

  Jeni went straight to the bedside. “Are you okay? How did it go?”

  “Fine. They stuck a big ass needle in my back but numbed me up first.” Andrew regarded Logan, who hovered in the doorway. “Don’t feel like you have to stay, man.” He tossed a glance at his sister. “You too. We won’t know anything tonight.”

  Jeni shook her head and sat down on the couch, making a show of getting comfortable.

  The couch was the only seating in the room, and even though Andrew was a close friend, Logan didn’t want to impose. “Yeah, I’ll get going.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Okay if I come back tomorrow?”

  “Sure,” Andrew said. “You can bring me a smoothie from Whole Foods.”

  Logan grinned. “That, I can do.” He turned to Jeni. “Let me know if you need anything too.”

  “I will.” She met his gaze, her expression soft and appreciative. A far cry from the way she’d greeted him on her doorstep that morning.

  Oddly, he found he liked both sides of her.

  Jeni Bishop was a puzzle, one he definitely wanted to figure out.

  * * *

  Logan had trouble sleeping that night. When a text message lit up his phone at one a.m., he realized he wasn’t the only one.

  Jeni: You up?

  Logan: Yeah. Why are you?

  Jeni: It’s impossible to sleep in a hospital room. The machines, the nurses, the lights. My thoughts.

  Logan: Same on the thoughts. Andrew asleep?

  Jeni: He’s out cold.

  Logan: Good. He probably needs the rest.

  Logan: Are you okay?

  He considered asking if she wanted him to come back up there and keep her company, but that might be taking things a little too far.