Home Sweet Mess

by Allison Ashley

  Jeni: Yeah. My mind is wandering and I thought you could distract me again.

  Logan: I’ll never deny a woman asking me to distract her at 1am.

  When she didn’t respond after a few minutes, he sent a follow-up message.

  Logan: Sorry. That was supposed to make you smile.

  Jeni: It did. I was trying to come up with a snarky reply, but I’m not in top form tonight.

  Logan: I admire your sass, but let’s just keep it simple tonight.

  Logan: If you could be an animal, what would you be?

  Jeni: That’s random.

  Logan: You don’t get to dictate how I distract you, even though I’m sure you want to.

  Jeni: So bad.

  He laughed in the darkness of his bedroom.

  Logan: I was asked that in an interview once. So?

  Jeni: I’ll say a horse.

  Logan: Why?

  Jeni: I’ve always loved horses. We had several on the farm growing up. They’re graceful but powerful. Intelligent. They have speed and endurance and are loyal companions.

  He could see several of those characteristics in her. Graceful, powerful, intelligent. He might add a few of his own—beautiful, sophisticated, free.

  And stubborn.

  Logan: Good answer. You got the job.

  Jeni: What did you say?

  Logan: Dolphin. Might sound weird but made sense for the job to name an animal that’s known for communication skills. I also like that they seem to want to enjoy life and have fun too.

  Jeni: I like that. I could use more fun in my life.

  Logan: Why do you say that?

  Jeni: It’s been a while since I’ve let myself relax and have fun. School and before that…other things.

  Jeni: I’m just so used to being focused on what needs to be done, I haven’t looked up in a while.

  Logan: I can help with that.

  Jeni: Propositioning me again?

  Logan: No but only because you’re my best friend’s sister. If I didn’t have that hanging over my head, I can’t promise I wouldn’t go there.

  Jeni: I’m gonna choose to take that as a compliment.

  Logan: Good.

  Jeni: I’m also gonna choose not to tell Andrew you said that.

  He grinned.

  Logan: Also good.

  Logan: I just meant I know fun stuff to do around Kansas City. We could go to the Blue Room and listen to jazz music. Drink beer at the Power & Light district. Ride around on the street cars and people watch. Tailgate at a Chiefs game.

  Jeni: Two things. One: you seem to think you’ll be coming along in my quest for fun. Two: you had me until the tailgating.

  Logan: One: my ideas=I’m coming. Two: you don’t know tailgating unless you’ve done it in the Arrowhead parking lot with 75,000 people grilling the world’s best BBQ.

  Jeni: Are you saying their pulled pork is better than mine?

  Logan: I plead the fifth.

  Jeni: Wise. We’ve already discussed my competitive streak.

  Logan: Yeah, let’s talk about that. Where’d that come from?

  Jeni: Obvious ploy to change the subject, but I’ll let it slide.

  Jeni: I think it started with sports? My family is serious about football. I started playing softball and I was good at it. It felt good to win. Even though I don’t play much anymore, it sort of bleeds into every part of my life.

  Logan: Ambition’s a good thing. Many people don’t have enough of it.

  Jeni: What’s your thing?

  Logan: What do you mean?

  Jeni: If I’m competitive, what are you?

  Logan dropped his head back against the headboard, thinking. How would he describe himself? He strived to be honorable. Generous. Industrious. But he was a work in progress and wasn’t confident he always lived up to them. So, he went with something simple.

  Logan: I’d say adaptable.

  Jeni: Hmm. Explain.

  Logan: Damn, you’re bossy.

  Jeni: Fine. Explain, please.

  He grinned at his phone. Again. He tried to answer truthfully without inviting more questions.

  Logan: I moved around a lot as a kid. I guess I sorta got used to figuring things out no matter where I was or what situation I was in. I’m pretty good at thinking on my feet and making thing work.

  Jeni: Your boss must love you.

  Logan: Everyone loves me.

  Jeni: Maybe confident should have been your word.

  Logan: Adored?

  Jeni: Tipping the needle toward arrogant.

  Logan: Treasured?

  Jeni: Definitely arrogant.

  Logan: Okay, okay. Almost everyone loves me. Everyone except Jeni Bishop.

  Jeni: I’m a hard sell, it’s true.

  Logan: I’ll change your mind eventually.

  Jeni: You’re welcome to try.

  Logan cocked his head and lifted his eyes to the dark room beyond. He could almost hear the challenge in her message. You’re welcome to try.

  It was late, and he was spent, emotionally and physically, which probably explained the thought that ran through his head in that moment. Thankfully, he had the restraint not to say it to her, but that didn’t stop him from thinking it.

  Watch out, Jeni Bishop. I just might.

  Chapter Seven

  Hodgkin Lymphoma.

  Hodgkin fucking Lymphoma.

  On Sunday, Jeni had never even heard of it. By Tuesday, she was practically an expert.

  Often occurs in patients in their twenties. Has been linked with the Epstein-Barr virus that causes mono. Common symptoms are anemia, cyclic fevers, drenching night sweats. Treated with chemo and radiation. Typically has a good prognosis.

  That last part she clung to as if her life depended on it.

  Andrew needed one more procedure called a PET scan that would hopefully confirm the doctor’s suspicion that his disease wasn’t extensive.

  “When’s Mom getting here?” Andrew asked for the fifth time.

  Jeni checked her phone. “She said they’re just passing St. Joseph. They’re an hour out.” She sat in a chair beside Andrew’s bed, her sock-covered feet propped on the mattress.

  Andrew scrubbed a hand down his face. “All of them?”

  “Do you even need to ask?”

  “I keep hoping one of them bailed. Maybe Valerie didn’t want to leave the kids?”

  “Her in-laws are helping while she’s gone.”

  “Rhonda?”

  “Rhonda’s the least of our problems, and you know it.”

  Andrew made a noise that kind of sounded like a growl or exasperated grunt of some sort.

  “Mom also said the Suburban is giving them some trouble. Maybe we’ll get lucky and it will break down.”

  “Unlikely.”

  Jeni dropped her head back. “Aw man, I’m gonna have to put them up at my house, aren’t I?”

  “Family doesn’t stay in a hotel,” Andrew said, mimicking their mother’s voice perfectly.

  She groaned. Even if Andrew wasn’t sick, she was the only one with an extra bedroom.

  The door to Andrew’s room opened, and a nurse entered. Her cheeks were flushed, and she had a ridiculous smile on her face, like she’d just heard something outrageously funny. From her seat near the window, Jeni frowned, confused—until Logan followed close on the nurse’s heels. His expression, on the other hand, was smug and confident.

  Irritation sparked. This was the second time she’d come across Logan flirting with the nurses over the past two days. He’d spent several hours here yesterday after work and at one point offered to go to the cafeteria to get everyone coffee. He’d taken forever, and Jeni finally left Andrew’s room to look for him. She found him—their coffee getting cold nearby—at the nursing station, laughing and chatting with the women sitting there.

  Two days ago, Jeni had actually thought she had a partner in this—someone to help her be Andrew’s caregiver. Not that she’d ever use that term in front of Andrew. His immedia
te reply would no doubt be that he didn’t need anyone to take care of him. But she’d depended heavily on other people after her accident, and as much as she hated to admit it, she’d needed the help. Andrew was going to need it too.

  Logan’s help the night Andrew had come to the ER, and then his silent support for her in the waiting room and late-night text conversation, had lit a small flame of appreciation and hope inside her that she might be able to rely on him. She’d actually started to like the guy.

  But that was before he started hitting on every woman in the whole damn hospital. If he was hanging around just to get laid, he could move on down the road. She’d find a way to handle everything, even if it meant asking her mother or one of her sisters to stay.

  The nurse turned her attention to Andrew and started chatting immediately, her voice annoyingly high-pitched and chipper. Jeni couldn’t even imagine the sounds this woman would make if Logan worked his magic on her in the bedroom.

  Thinking about Logan in that setting made her stomach flip, and she rubbed her eyes, trying to wipe the image.

  Logan came to stand next to her and leaned his upper back against the wall. He tilted his head down at her and winked.

  Jeni narrowed her eyes, and he grinned.

  “Are you in any pain?” the nurse asked.

  “No,” Andrew said.

  “Nauseous?”

  “No.”

  “Good. The radiology technician should be up to take you for a PET scan soon.”

  “How long does that take?” Jeni asked.

  “About two hours.” The nurse recorded Andrew’s vital signs in the computer mounted against the wall, asked him if he needed anything, and left. Not before flashing Logan a smile first though.

  Naturally.

  What was it about this guy that made him so irresistible? Jeni didn’t get it.

  Okay fine, she did. But she wished she didn’t.

  Also, he never flirted with her like that.

  Whoa, where did that come from? She didn’t want Logan to flirt with her. Did she?

  It had been more than two years since the divorce, and so far, she’d had no problem sticking to her new plan to stay away from anything relationship-related. No one had even begun to tempt her otherwise.

  Until now, it seemed. Which only pissed her off.

  Andrew turned his head looked at her. “Guess you’ll be on your own to intercept the crew when they arrive.”

  Jeni squared her shoulders. “Don’t worry, I got this.”

  “I can help,” Logan offered. “I’m looking forward to meeting your family.”

  She frowned and cast him a skeptical eye. “You can leave when they take Andrew for the scan.”

  Logan’s smile faded, and for a brief moment, she felt a tinge of guilt.

  Andrew looked at Logan. “Can you give us a minute?”

  Logan nodded, a small pinch between his eyebrows, and left.

  “Why are you being so rude?” Andrew slid a hand through his brown hair.

  Jeni balked. “I’m not. This is a family thing. He doesn’t need to keep hanging around, flirting with the nurses and distracting them from your care. It would be best if he just gave us some space right now.”

  “Us or you? I don’t need space. He’s good company, and it’s nice to have him here. He’s been through this with someone close to him, and he knows what to expect. I don’t know how long this road is going to be, but either way, Logan’s going to be in the car. You need to get on board with that, and the sooner the better. Your attitude isn’t helping.”

  She pushed past her immediate desire to defend herself. “Who did he go through this with?”

  “Someone in his family. What does it matter?” Andrew asked.

  Jeni sighed and rubbed her temples with both hands.

  “What is it with you? Everyone loves Logan.”

  “Women especially.”

  Andrew cocked his head to the side. “Are you jealous?”

  Her laugh nearly choked her. “No.”

  One eyebrow rose, and Andrew spoke slowly. “You sure?”

  No. But she’d die before admitting it. “Andrew, there are only two things I’m thinking about right now. You and what I’m gonna do with Mom and the others when they get here. No room for jealousy in there at the moment.”

  “If you say so. Look, just try to be civil, okay? I need both of you right now, whether you like it or not. Can you please try? For me?”

  Jeni looked at her brother. At the circles under his eyes and the washed-out pallor of his skin. The hospital bed where he reclined, lined in white sheets and a light blue blanket and monitors covering the wall behind his head.

  Her heart clenched, and tears pricked in her eyes.

  When had she become so selfish? This was her brother, her confidant, her lifelong defender. He was sick and facing something potentially life threatening. When their roles were reversed and she was the one in the hospital bed, he’d done anything she ever asked of him. Without question.

  Plus, she wasn’t sure what her issue was with Logan. Her feelings seemed to extend to both ends of the spectrum, hot one minute and cold the next. Andrew didn’t need to be dragged into her irrational mind. She didn’t even understand it.

  She leaned forward and took one of his hands in hers. “Of course. I’m sorry. I’m just scared. I’m scared for you, and I’m being a bitch. Of course, I can be civil. Logan and I will be here for you. Together.”

  * * *

  “It’s cold in here.”

  “Jeni, do you have softer towels?”

  “I should have brought Bear. I miss him already.”

  The Bishop women had descended upon Jeni’s usually quiet home after a few hours at the hospital and a stop at a car repair shop. Evidently the family SUV hadn’t fared well on the drive, and now the four of them would be sharing Jeni’s Hyundai Sonata until they could figure out what was wrong and fix the Suburban.

  Rhonda, the oldest and most practical of the group, promised Andrew she’d use Jeni’s car and be back with dinner for him. He agreed but vehemently declined letting anyone stay the night at the hospital. Jeni had been there the last two nights, and he said he’d be fine on his own for tonight.

  “Jeni, where are you sleeping?” Rhonda came out of the guest room where she’d dropped her suitcase. Of all the siblings, she most resembled their dad, with brown hair so dark it almost looked black.

  “In my bed?”

  “Mom and I are sharing it,” Valerie said.

  Looked like Jeni was on the couch.

  Rhonda passed by where Jeni stood listlessly in the hallway and entered the kitchen. “Wow, those walls are yellow. Where’s the Dr. Pepper?”

  “I don’t have any,” Jeni said.

  “What?” Rhonda reappeared in the doorway.

  “I don’t drink it.”

  Rhonda looked at her blankly, like she’d just said something incomprehensible, such as I don’t have running water.

  Jeni turned her back on Rhonda and entered the living room, where Valerie had begun unpacking a small bag, shoving Jeni’s books aside to place several notebooks and a computer on the coffee table. “What’s your Wi-Fi password?”

  “I don’t know, some weird combination. It’s on the back of the router,” Jeni said.

  “Thanks. What’s for dinner?”

  Rhonda spoke up before Jeni could respond. “I’m taking Andrew Chinese food tonight.”

  “Are you sure he should be eating that?” their mom asked from her position in the recliner.

  “Why wouldn’t he?”

  “All those preservatives and cancer-causing chemicals. It just seems counter-intuitive.”

  “A little late to be worried about that,” Jeni said. All three women gasped and stared at her, and Jeni shrugged. Andrew would have said the exact same thing.

  “What about pizza?” Rhonda asked.

  “Andrew and I had that last night,” Jeni said.

  Rhonda heaved a sigh. “Mom, wh
at are you making? Maybe I’ll just take a plate to him.”

  Their mother stood and disappeared into the kitchen, and several cabinet doors creaked open. “Jeni, honey,” she called out. “Where’s the pantry?”

  “I don’t have one.”

  “Where do you keep the food?”

  Jeni poked her head in. “Right there, where you’re looking.”

  “This is it?” her mother squawked. “How do you live?”

  “It’s just me. I don’t need much.”

  When Jeni said the words just me, her mother opened her mouth like she might comment but thankfully chose to shut it. “I’ll have to go to the store.”

  Jeni shrugged. “Fine.”

  “We don’t have a car,” Valerie said.

  “You can take mine,” Jeni said.

  “Okay,” her mom agreed. “Just let me go start the diffuser in my room so it’s ready by the time I go to bed.”

  Jeni groaned inwardly. Her mother had recently gotten into essential oils and used various scents to fill every room of the house, depending on the mood she wanted to achieve.

  Ylang-ylang in the bedroom for relaxation and sleep.

  Lavender in the living room for balance and calm.

  Peppermint in the home office for mental clarity.

  Jeni’s nose was like a bloodhound’s, and the slightest aroma was like a potent blast to her senses. The last time she’d been to her parent’s house, she’d had a headache for three days straight.

  Rhonda sat on the couch and turned on the television. “Do you have Netflix?”

  “No.”

  “Seriously?”

  “If I’m watching TV, it’s for sports,” Jeni said.

  Rhonda hit the Guide button and flipped through until she found a Real Housewives from somewhere. Oh hell. Four women on the television and three live ones in her house? With nowhere to escape?

  “Jeni, honey, can we turn the air down? It’s freezing back here,” her mother called.

  “What’s your internet speed?” Valerie asked. “It’s slow as molasses.”