Home Sweet Mess

by Allison Ashley

  The coat dropped to the floor.

  Logan’s eyes swept down her body, his jaw following suit. He dropped his chin to his chest and twisted around, his forearm hitting the back of the door and his head landing just below it. “Fuck. Jeni, I ask you again, what the hell are you doing?”

  Her body heat closed in from behind. “What does it look like?”

  “What are you even wearing?” he croaked out.

  “A bikini. I don’t own any lingerie.”

  “It’s nice.”

  “I know. Turn around, Logan.”

  “I can’t.”

  “You can.”

  “I won’t.”

  “You know you want to.”

  “Damn straight I do.”

  She ducked underneath where he hunched over, and he jerked his head back as she straightened. She now stood before him, wearing hardly anything, with his hands on either side of her head, braced against the door.

  Logan focused on taking deep, measured breaths. In through your nose, out through your mouth. His eyes dropped to her breasts. A strangled noise escaped his throat. His blood was racing through his veins, his heart pounding harder than he thought possible. Not to mention the rest of his body.

  He forced his eyes to her face and frowned. Something was different.

  “Where are your glasses?”

  She shrugged. “I thought it would be sexier if I wasn’t wearing them.”

  Logan latched onto the change in subject like a drowning man to a lifeline. Glasses. Glasses. Think about glasses. “That’s ridiculous. I love them.”

  “Really?” She dipped her head and slid out of his near embrace. He immediately wished he hadn’t watched her go because she bent over to slide a hand into the coat pocket, giving him a glorious view of her scantily clad buttocks and muscled thighs. She straightened and faced him again with one hand on her hip, glasses back in place.

  “Holy hell, woman. Are you trying to kill me?”

  “No. I’m trying to seduce you.”

  Logan rubbed the heel of his hand against his forehead. He’d never wanted a woman so much in his life.

  Why was he doing this to himself, again?

  Because you want more than just her body, and if you give in now, that might be all you’ll ever get. He had to repeat that to himself a few times because his brain wasn’t doing much thinking just now.

  He sighed deeply and took two steps forward, kneeling down to gather her coat.

  Jeni pursed her lips and glared at him as he slung it over her shoulders. “I never took you for a prude, Logan.”

  “It’s a first. Trust me.”

  She huffed out a breath. “I knew I should have just been naked under here.”

  Logan’s eyes nearly rolled back into his head. He cleared his throat, holding the coat together at her stomach. “Jeni. Stop this.”

  “You first.”

  He shook his head. “I want to be with you, Jeni. I want to spend time with you and get to know you. I’m determined to go about it differently this time. No matter how badly I want to carry you to my bed right now.” And just because he’d never want her to feel unattractive or rejected, he added, “And I want that pretty damn bad.”

  Jeni slipped her arms through the sleeves, a win for his sanity. She lifted her chin. “I hate you.”

  “No, you don’t.”

  “No, I don’t.”

  He raked a hand through his hair. “Want to stay and hang out for a bit? You came all the way here.”

  Her fingers paused in the process of pushing a button through. “It’s late.”

  “Were you planning on sleeping when you came over?”

  She smirked. “No.”

  “Stephen Colbert’s about to come on.” He hoped she’d talk to him instead of watch TV, but he’d take her beside him either way. “Friends watch late night talk shows together.”

  She hesitated, and he was sure she’d refuse him. But then she shrugged. “Okay.”

  Thank God she didn’t see the ear-splitting grin he aimed at her back.

  * * *

  “So, what’s with the Hawaii sticker on your truck?”

  Logan glanced over at her, sitting on the couch beside him. She’d changed into one of his T-shirts, and he liked seeing her in it entirely too much. “Came with the truck. I bought it used and never took it off.”

  “Oh.” She turned her attention to the television, where the host interviewed some famous actress.

  “Did you know Colbert’s been married twenty-five years? Says it was love at first sight.” It was a risky thing to say but he went with it.

  Jeni rolled her eyes. “What a load of bull.”

  “Which part? Being married that long or love at first sight?”

  “Both.”

  “You sure are jaded, aren’t you?”

  “I’m twenty-six and divorced.”

  “You can’t let one event reconfigure your entire life.”

  “Sure, I can. People do it all the time. Because of my accident, I chose a completely different career path. The job offer with the Chiefs changed yours. I’d bet when Andrew’s finished with this whole cancer thing, he’ll say the process permanently altered his life in some way or another.”

  “Those are different.”

  “How?”

  He paused. “I don’t know.”

  She looked pleased with herself. “Can I ask you a personal question?”

  “You can ask anything you want.” He just might choose not to answer. He crossed one ankle over his opposite knee.

  She tucked her hair behind her ear, her gaze steady on his. “How did you lose your dad?”

  “Aneurysm,” he said, rubbing at his ear. It had been a long time since he’d told anyone about it, but with her attention on him like a warm ray of sunshine somehow soothing the pain of the memory, he kept going. “It was sudden. I still remember exactly where I was when my mom called. I was at a bar with some friends. Straight up dropped the beer bottle in my hand, and it shattered all over the floor. My buddies laughed at me like I’d just had too much, and I just turned and walked out. It was one in the morning and I was a good two miles from home, but I walked the entire way.”

  “That’s terrible. I’m sorry.”

  “Me too. I didn’t have enough time with him.”

  “You were in your twenties?”

  “Twenty-one.” He almost added that he hadn’t met his dad until he was thirteen and had only had eight years to get to know him.

  To learn from him.

  But the words got stuck in his throat. He never talked about his life before coming to live with his parents. Tried not to think about it either. But that was harder to do.

  “This is going to sound so nosy, but I thought maybe he had cancer. Andrew mentioned you’d been through that with someone.”

  Andrew needed to keep his mouth shut. Logan didn’t want to talk about himself. He wanted to learn more about her. “That was my mom. She was diagnosed with breast cancer two years after my dad died.”

  Her gaze softened. “You took care of her?”

  “Yeah.” He gripped the ankle propped on his leg. “She didn’t really have anyone else around to help.”

  “How’s she doing now?”

  “She’s good. She’s in remission, and we’re just waiting for that magic five-year mark.”

  Jeni smiled. “I’m glad to hear that.”

  Logan steered the conversation away from his family. “How was work today?”

  Jeni crossed her legs in front of her. “Fine. Busy.”

  “Sometimes I don’t mind busy days at the office. Even though I like my job, it’s nice when the day goes quick.”

  “I get that.” She absently gazed at the television. “It feels like a lot of kids are entering the system lately. We desperately need more foster families.”

  Logan studied the freckles on her cheek. “I’ve always been curious about being a foster parent.”

  Jeni’s head jerked toward
him. “Really?”

  “Yeah. I’m not sure I could do it as a single guy though.”

  “It’s a common misconception that single men can’t become foster parents. You just have to pass muster like anyone else, same as married couples.”

  “I know they’d let me,” he clarified. “I just meant I think it would be hard for me to provide the kind of home a child would need right now. I couldn’t foster a newborn because I have to go to work. And with my schedule, I’d have trouble getting older kids to and from daycare or school consistently. I have to work odd hours sometimes depending on when the Chiefs play or when there’s a publicity event.”

  “There are always reasons not to do it.” Her tone was gentle, not accusatory. “It’s a serious commitment. It’s good you’re looking at it from several angles. Too often we get people who register and only last a few months.”

  Logan shook his head a little. “When I do it, I won’t half-ass it. If I have a child in my home, I want to be there for them.”

  Jeni’s golden eyes swept over his face, her expression softening as she listened.

  “It just seemed like something I’d do with my wife someday,” he continued. “When we could take on the responsibility together.”

  Her countenance changed in an instant. “If fostering required marriage, I’d be screwed,” she said flatly. “I’ve always wanted kids, so I plan to do it someday too. Hopefully I’ll eventually move up to an administrative position where I’m not at risk of being on call as much. But no matter my job, I’ll be on my own and need to figure out how to make it work.”

  She really hated the idea of marriage with a passion, didn’t she?

  That didn’t bode well for him and his newfound approach to relationships.

  Or relationship—singular. He only had an interest in one, and he didn’t want something so casual it was easy to walk away. He’d dealt with that almost from the moment he was born, and he was finally drawing a line in the sand.

  She glanced at the clock and stood. “I’d better go. It’s almost midnight.” She tugged at the hem of the T-shirt she wore. It fell to the tops of her thighs. “Should I—”

  “Keep it,” Logan said quickly. He didn’t know if he could handle it if she took it off in front of him. Her coat was draped over the back of the chair, and he handed it to her with a grin. “It feels weird to say I’m glad you came over. You know, since you were trying to seduce me against my will.”

  “I’m gonna win this game we’re playing, Squinty.” She put the coat on, and they walked to the door together.

  He stopped short of opening the door, turning to face her instead. She stood close, and he could smell whatever perfume she’d put on. He didn’t mind it, he just liked the way she usually smelled better.

  She lifted her eyes to his, the thick frames of her glasses making her beautiful eyes seem even larger.

  “It’s not a game to me,” he said in a low voice. Pursuing her was one of the most serious things he’d ever done.

  Her gaze dropped to his chest, like the statement made her uncomfortable. He put his fingers underneath her chin to tilt her face up. To see those one-of-a-kind eyes again. She didn’t resist the movement but closed her eyes, her eyebrows coming together in a slight frown. Her hand came up to grip his forearm, but she didn’t pull his hand away like he thought she would.

  Logan inched forward as if pulled by an invisible force, studying her lashes, her freckles, and perfect full lips. His heart rose to his throat as he dipped his head lower—

  “What are you doing?”

  He stopped but didn’t pull back. “I was going to kiss you.”

  Her eyes opened. “Friends don’t kiss.”

  Her breasts brushed against his chest with each breath, and he took solace in knowing she wasn’t unaffected. He pressed his forehead against hers. “I don’t want to just be your friend, Jeni.”

  She sighed heavily. “I know.” She looked like she might say something else, but then she took a step back, opened the door, and walked out.

  Logan closed the door and sank against it.

  Jeni Bishop was going to kill him.

  Chapter Fifteen

  “I have bad news.”

  Words no one wanted to hear from their boss.

  Jeni sat at the large table in the conference room with the other social and case workers.

  Sandra’s lips, usually turned up in a smile, flattened into a grim line. “I received news of impending budget cuts to our department. I don’t know exactly what it means yet, but I just want everyone to be prepared.”

  “Prepared for what?” one of the seasoned case workers asked. “Are jobs being cut?”

  “I’m not sure yet,” Sandra said. “I don’t even know which programs are losing funds. It might not affect the foster service line. And if it does, I don’t know how significant the deficit will be. It could be we just can’t use the nice printer paper anymore and have to buy generic coffee for the breakroom. Or it could mean I lose FTEs. I wish I knew. But if the latter is even a possibility, I wanted to get it out there so no one’s blindsided.”

  Jeni clasped her hands together in her lap. She was the newest employee. If someone had to go, it would be her.

  What would she do? Yes, one of the perks of being unattached meant she could go anywhere for a job if she needed to. It was one of the reasons she intended to remain that way. But she’d finally gotten settled in Kansas City and was gaining her bearings in her position. She’d worked hard to establish rapport with the foster families assigned to her and was slowly but surely getting to know the children under her supervision. She’d work hard no matter where she went, but Andrew’s diagnosis made staying in town more important than she’d anticipated. She needed to be here with him. His first chemo treatment was tomorrow, in fact.

  She could find another social worker position if she got laid off, but it wouldn’t be the same. CPS was the best opportunity to make a difference in the foster care system, and she’d been confident getting her foot in the door here early would pay off in the long run. She hoped she’d work her way up, maybe even fill Sandra’s shoes one day. The Kansas City metro needed more foster families too, and she had ideas for community events to increase awareness and provide information to the public. Ideas that would appeal to the demographic here—which meant barbecue would definitely be involved. Maybe she could even ask Logan about some sort of coordination with the Chiefs as a service event for the team that would also bring the publicity to benefit the agency.

  Speaking of…a gorgeous, smiling man with wavy blond hair and blue eyes flitted through her thoughts, which was ridiculous. Logan’s presence in Kansas City had no connection whatsoever to her desire to stay.

  When those around her began to stand and filter out of the conference room, Jeni came back to the present. She hadn’t even listened to the rest of the staff meeting.

  She and Sandra were the last ones to leave.

  “Should I be worried?” Jeni asked bluntly.

  “I don’t know.” Sandra put a hand on Jeni’s shoulder. “I hope not. You’re doing a great job. If it were up to me, there’s no way I’d let you go. It’s too early to worry though, okay? I’m just hearing rumblings of financial upheaval from some of the legislators I know. Nothing has come directly from the Governor’s office.”

  Jeni heard the unspoken word that followed.

  Yet.

  * * *

  “One down, seven to go.” Jeni reached over to squeeze Andrew’s shoulder. “Wasn’t so bad, was it?”

  Andrew sat in the passenger seat, looking out the window. He looked the exact same as he had yesterday. Last week. Last year. That made it easy to make light of the fact he’d just received a shit-ton of chemotherapy.

  How long until the side effects started? How long would it take for the chemo to change him?

  Whenever it was, Jeni would be there.

  He shot her a side-eye. “It’s been ten minutes since I finished. It’s a little
early to draw conclusions.”

  “At least we didn’t embarrass you too bad.” She glanced in the rearview mirror where their mother, Rhonda, and Valerie followed in the repaired Suburban. They’d flocked around him the entire treatment. Even if he pretended to be annoyed by it, Jeni knew Andrew appreciated their show of support. At least a little.

  “Easy for you to say,” he muttered.

  Jeni gave a sly grin. “What’s up with you and Lauren?”

  The cute pharmacist they’d met during his first oncologist visit just happened to pass by during his infusion. It hadn’t seemed to have been by accident.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “You were flirting hard.”

  “Was not.”

  “I don’t think she minded.”

  His neck colored, and her grin widened. She barely knew Lauren but already liked her better than his ex.

  “Are they following us to the condo?” Andrew asked, his eyes on the side mirror.

  “Yep.”

  “They don’t expect to come in, do they?”

  “Yep.”

  “No.”

  “Mom wants to make you chicken soup. She’s got everything she needs in a cooler in the back. Rhonda brought Parks and Rec. Valerie…well, she’ll tuck a blanket around you. Get you water. Or something.”

  He groaned.

  “Andrew, so help me God, just be strong and handle the chemo like a champ, and soon they’ll leave us alone.” More than anything, she needed him to do well because he was her twin brother and she loved him. But cracking jokes about the rest of their family was what they did, and keeping it light was what they both needed right now.

  Cancer was serious. Chemo was serious. Jeni would follow suit when necessary, but right now, she wanted Andrew smiling.

  He smirked. Success. “I’m texting Logan.”