PS... Trust Me (TAT: A Rocker Romance Book 8)

by Emjay Soren

  I love hearing him describe me and my reactions, and duh, I’m a girl who loves some compliments, fishing or otherwise. His response however wasn’t what I meant.

  “I love when you say stuff like that babe, but I meant what was it about me that made me your exception to the rule, your game changer.”

  Chad seemed to ponder my question and I loved him for taking me seriously right now. “I think it wasn’t just one thing baby. I always knew you were beautiful but when we met, I was eighteen and you were fourteen and as much as I liked to look at you I wasn’t about to go there. Throughout the years I was always Chad to you, not anything other than that.” He looked at me his eyes sincere and his voice steady. He took my hand in his and kissed our entwined fingers. “I guess the change came a few years back. It was like an alarm went off when Noah said he couldn’t practice because you were turning eighteen and tradition calls for a night of bad music and junk food.” He smiled at me and I knew he was anxious to be part of my bad music birthday celebration this year. I was happy they would be back the night before I turned twenty-one.

  “All I heard was him saying you were eighteen and everything else faded away. I came by that night remember?” He asked with a shy smile on his perfect face.

  I did remember, he showed up and me and Noah had been listening to all my favorite music and eating white cheddar popcorn and singing and playing along with the music. Chad had shown up with more junk food and a few beers. Noah made sure to shut off the music and headed to the kitchen to put the beers in the fridge and Chad had walked to me and gave me a hug. “Happy birthday Carrie girl.” He said against my ear and I shivered. It was then my crush on Chad Blake formed into something beyond him being attractive. He handed me a small box and told me to open it later when Noah wasn’t around. I had asked why it mattered.

  “Because Noah is pretty much a psycho and I don’t need to catch shit for bringing our girl a present on her birthday.” I had cringed when he said, ‘our girl’.

  “I swore you had put me in the friend zone when you referred to me as ‘our girl’.” I said with a chuckle and leaned forward to kiss his lips. “I still have the bracelet. I wear it all the time when I’m at school. I never showed it to Noah.”

  The bracelet was white gold and linked by loops of chain. There was a guitar charm that was small and delicate, and it hung from just by the clasp. I loved that fucking bracelet. It was in my list of things to grab in case of a fire I loved it that much.

  “I haven’t seen you wear it.” He spoke against my lips and I couldn’t help but open my mouth to his, desperate to taste him.

  “I only wear it at school. It’s my thing I guess, my way of always hanging on to you when you weren’t around through the year.”

  “Well now Carrie Beckett, did you have a crush on me too?” He was joking around I knew, but I could hear his need for the truth in there.

  “Oh yeah, a big one.” I whisper and burry my head against the crook of his shoulder not wanting to look at him.

  He stroked his hands down my back, “That’s another reason you are more than any other. I love that you would think of me and wear my bracelet wishing I were with you. All the women I have been with were always forward and demanding. They never played hard to get or made it about more than a title or status. I hated being used baby. You want me for me and nothing more. I don’t think you would give a rats ass if I worked at McDonalds drive thru as long as I came home to you every night.”

  “God Chad…” I sighed and pull him as tight to me as I can and twine my fingers into his hair. “You’re so much more than you can ever see babe.” I lean in and kiss him slow and sweet trying to show him how tender he is to me. I feel like the connection we have and the passion and honesty, it’s delicate and can be easily destroyed if we aren’t careful.

  “I freaked out when you guys said you were heading out to tour. I hate knowing the temptation will be triple what it is now and that I will be too far away to keep you warm at night.”

  Chad groans and lies back on the sand pulling me down with him. He catches my face in his hands and holds me still so that I look at him. “Carrie, I don’t know what’s gonna happen with this tour but I need you to know something baby. Every lonely night, every song on stage, every fangirl, and every mile we drive, it is all part of the bigger plan to get me back to you. I don’t want a fangirl baby; I have perfection in bed with me at night and the greatest little body I have ever been in at my disposal anytime I want it. I went longer than eight days just waiting to make my move on you. Eight days of work and focus to drive us to gaining more recognition and maybe some fame.”

  He leans up and kisses me hard and fast before he continues. “Whatever happens though baby, it’s you I come home to. You’re my Dorothy Carrie.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chad

  “K, hold still and I’ll take the blindfold off.” I tell Carrie as we stand on the porch to Shames dad’s cabin on Lake Sammamish. I watched her as she took it all in. I had candles everywhere, a fire going and roses everywhere, in every color. I step behind her and hold her to me. “I never thought to buy you roses, they’re every girls favorite.”

  She giggles and turns in my arms. “Not mine though, but they are so beautiful.”

  I groan and lean in to kiss her sweetly. “I should have known. Roses are basic and you are unique.”

  “I love the roses though and I will take every single one with me when we leave.” I laugh and kiss her, no rush I just let it go on until we break for air. I entwine our fingers and pull her with me inside.

  “Hungry?”

  “Starved.” She says and unties the flannel shirt from her waist and puts it on.

  I reach into the fridge and grab two beers and the tray of steaks I had marinated. I hand her a beer and head back out to start the barbeque. She leans against the door frame watching me as she drinks her beer.

  “What?” I ask and drink from my own beer.

  “I like this version of you.”

  I laugh and scoop my hair back from my face. “What version is that? Beer and barbeque?”

  She kicks off the frame and walks to me. “I dunno, domesticated.”

  “Husband material, right?”

  She laughs and steps in close to kiss me. “Total husband material.”

  “I have goals, babe.”

  “I love you.” She says it so sweet and I love the way it sounds on her lips.

  “Come here.” I quirk my finger until she is in my arms. “I love you too.”

  We eat and drink a few more beers and nothing special transpired, we just spent time together and it was needed. I want to ease her fears about the tour. I want her to see how easy it is to just, be.

  “You gonna miss me?” She asks, a little buzzed and her glossy eyes dance as she asks me. I grab her by the hand and pull her on top of me.

  “Yep. Need to get my fill of you tonight.” I cup her neck and pull her to my mouth, our tongues dance as she makes these little moans telling me she wants more. She scoots closer until she is on my lap, legs spread over me. “Want my dick, baby?”

  She nods and licks at my bottom lip. I skim my hands under her shirt and slip it off, making quick work of her bra too. “You need to strip.” She tells me and I laugh at her little demand.

  “Want me naked? Then get to work.” I lean back on the couch, arms behind my head as I watch her. She stands taking my shirt up with her and she tosses it aside.

  Then she falls to her knees, her hands on my buckle. She says nothing while she undoes my belt and jeans, slipping her hands to the back and pulling them down just a little. She frees my cock and her fist around me send shocks up my spine.

  She says nothing when she scoops her head to the side and opens her mouth over me. “Ha, fuck yes.” I call out, fisting her hair in my fist as she takes all of me to the back of her throat.

  “Yeah Carrie, take it all baby… fuck.” I shift my hips up, unable to control it and fuck into her mouth.


  Stroke after stroke she sucks me as I wipe the tears from her eyes, watering from the overwhelming length of it. “Fuck, I love blow job tears, baby.” I shift again using my hand to guide her as I grit my teeth. “Shit, fuck…stop.”

  I pull her back, her eyes wet and smeared a little with her mascara, her mouth cherry red and it flips a switch in me. I stand up and drop my pants then work hers down her legs until her bare pussy is free and in my face. I sit on the couch, pulling her to stand on the couch over me as I eat her out.

  “oh, Chad.” She bends her knees and rests them against my shoulders. I slip two fingers between her legs and up into her pussy, thrusting as I lick her clit fast and hard.

  She twists both hands in my hair as I work her fast to climax. “Come on my face baby, drench my face and fingers.” She grinds against me as I move faster with my fingers until I feel her start to contract around them.

  I pull back and lift her thighs.

  “Fuck!” She cries out of frustration, but I palm my cock and bring her down on me and guide my dick into her.

  “Ride me, beautiful.”

  She rocks her hips hard against me, grinding and coming as she does. “Fuck yeah babe.”

  She can’t speak, just making sounds that drive me on, each cry as she fucks me. I watch her shake as she rides her release out, crying out digging her nails into my shoulders. I watch her go off, turning me on more as she comes on me. “Yeah, Carrie. Own that dick babe. It’s all yours baby, fuck it.”

  She leans in closer to me, her tits bouncing as she keeps going. “I love this, ugh so good Chad.”

  “I know babe. I get in deeper this way.” I hold her hips and direct her as she rides me, my hips thrusting as she comes down so I get that spot inside that has her soaking me with her second orgasm and she is screaming with her nails in my back.

  “Fuck yeah,” I grit. “Go buck wild, Carrie.”

  I realize that I don’t have a condom on and know I'm in dangerous territory. I try to think of anything to slow my roll, but nothing helps. She feels too fucking good. Thanks, fuck she slowed down having come her brains out so I kiss her, hard all tongue and teeth as I climb higher and higher.

  I roll to get her on her back with her legs facing me off the couch and fucking piston into her. “I'm coming baby.” I shout and pull out and explode on her belly and the top of her pussy until I am empty. I fall back on the floor, my breath sawing out of me. Carrie comes to me immediately, using her flannel to wipe my come off her.

  Once cleans she curls into my side, lights out we sleep naked and tangled together on the floor.

  Carrie

  Chad and Noah left to meet the rest of the band and Sinners of the Slipstream in Pendleton Oregon at five in the morning. The first show was in Pendleton tonight and then off to the Tri-Cities and the Spokane, Bellingham, Seattle and ending in Tacoma. Sinners were doing four statewide tours on their main tour, choosing big bands in the state to open for them. This was the big break that TAT needed, the PR from the tour alone would be worth it.

  Chad and I had stayed up the night before he left and cuddled on the sandy beach of the bay. The morning came though, just as it does every day and I hid my tears from Chad as we drove toward Pendleton together. He was leaving me his enormous truck while he was gone, and I was terrified to drive it alone.

  By the time we reached the hotel where the Sinners were staying having arrived two nights before, I was a complete wreck my mind racing in every cheating, sexual nightmare it could conjure.

  “You ready baby?” Chad asked his voice still laced with exhaustion from the long night.

  “No but you have to do this so let’s go send you off to stardom.” I knew the smile I gave didn’t touch my face, but I didn’t stay in the cab of the truck long enough for Chad to respond.

  I met him around the back of the truck where he grabbed his duffle bag and dropped it at his feet. The Sinners tour bus was parked a few hundred feet away in the lot from where they stood. Roadies were running around like crazy trying to make sure all the guys stuff was loaded. Chad and the rest of TAT were riding in the bus with Sinners of the Slipstream and I couldn’t help but cringe at the soon to come tour bus sexual antics.

  Chad pulled me against his chest and tucked my head under his chin, his hands clasped together just above my bottom. His lips continued to kiss me upon my head and said nothing for long minutes, content to hold me. “Eight days baby, the fucking longest eight days of my life but it’s just a week and a day.” Chad rasped dropping kisses along her neck as he spoke between kisses.

  “I know.” I replied but continued to hold him tighter.

  “Take all that fear running through your mind, throw it away, because none of it will happen. I’m always coming back to you Carrie, whether I’m a fucking Tattoo artist or a Musician. If you let this negative fear shit in your head, we are gonna fall apart no matter how much we love one another.”

  It was the exact argument that we had this morning with nothing resolved other than the fact we were hopelessly in love. “I know.” I whisper this time and slam my eyes shut terrified my tears will burst free.

  “Don’t placate me baby, I see through your shit.” I could hear the seriousness of his words even though he said them jokingly. He grasped my chin between his fingers and lifted my face. “Look at me Carrie.”

  I opened my eyes knowing they were glistening with unshed tears. “Tell me you love me Carrie.” I nod unable to speak due to the lump of fear and sadness in my throat. Tears fall against my efforts and Chad leaned in to kiss me softly. “Tell me baby. Please.”

  It was the please that did me in and the levee broke. “I love you Chad, more than I thought I ever would or could. I was told I was nothing and useless for so long and I fought to free myself of that feeling and you make it effortless for me. I feel amazing with you, I am happy and cherished and so fucking safe Chad. I do love you, no matter how scared I am…” I choke on the words as more tears fall unbidden. “No matter how scared I am that I’ll wake up tomorrow and learn that you finally realized that you were always too big for Gig Harbor and me, I’ll still be thankful I was yours for that time.”

  He crushed me to him then and held me tight enough to shut off my airflow. “You’re my home Carrie, my Emerald City and my dream come true. I waited for you and I know what life is like when it’s spent pining for you and I don’t relish the idea of ever going back to it. You’re its baby, no matter where we live or what this path leads, you baby, are with me on it. Feel me Carrie?”

  “I feel you.” I say with a smile and sniffle through my tears before he slants his mouth over mine and takes my mouth with the same demand as he took the rest of me. When his tongues slides against mine I know that I am powerless when it comes to Chad Blake, know that I will wait my entire life if I must, for him to come back to me. This whole fear inside of me isn’t ruled by the amount of time he will be gone; it’s ruled by the hundreds of YouTube videos posted of what a ‘Sinners of the Slipstream’ tour bus party looks like. Women in nothing but skin, sex in every corner, bunk and even the main room in the back of the bus. Women with no moral compass or concern for the women who love these guys left at home while trusting them. I knew that two members of Sinners were married, and they were also in the videos of the sexcapades on the tour bus.

  I wasn’t a fool to think I could ever keep Chad or any guy faithful, I lived by the theory that nobody could ever stop someone from cheating. No amount of love, passion or trust could ever guarantee it. I saw Candy in utter devastation over Noah, watched Cal and Chad both play women like card games. I had always believed it was all up to fate. Now that I am with Chad, in love with him, I find my reasoning a hard pill to swallow.

  “You keep thinking of the bad baby but remember the good.” Chad said, a lusty glint in his eye. “Remember that your fear drove you all night, but we came together with lust and passion and probably the best sex of my life.”

  Oh yes… it was a particularly g
ood round of sex. Its bordered violence and desperation.

  I nod blushing and he laughs. “I love you Carrie and we got this right?”

  There was no question about it from him, he had faith in us I wish I had. I had to play by his rules and his belief, or I would indeed ruin us. “We got this, throw caution in the wind and get the show on the road.”

  He smiled and kissed me gently, sweetly believing me and my words. I just hope I could believe them too.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chad

  I was going to puke. I might even pass out, but I was going to puke. I stand in the dressing room with the guys watching Shame ralph into the wastebasket. Cal laughs at him and I flip him off for him.

  “How did I never know you guys were such pussies?” Noah looks at Cal and laughs with him at Shame and me.

  “How the fuck are you guys not nervous?” I wonder the same thing Shame asked.

  “We are fucking East of Awesome. Have been even in the garage days playing Alice in Chains.” Cal tells us and I want to feel as confident.

  “I wish I had your confidence.” I say and open another beer as Noah hands me a shot of whiskey.

  “Dude.”

  I look at him. “Dude.” I repeat and roll my eyes.

  “You are Chad fuckin Blake. Gods gift to women, GQ. You know how to do this.”

  I stand and start pacing again. “I know how to do this with a crowd under two thousand. This is twenty thousand Cal.”

  A knock on the door and a guy yelling it’s time to go.

  Shame pukes again.

  I rub my hands together and try to breathe.

  Shame pukes again.

  Cal laughs hysterically.

  Noah pukes.

  And then I do the same.

  The lights were down, and the crowd was cheering as we took the stage and our rightful place on it. We weren’t big on covers because we believed in our music. Tayla the PR for the Sinners gave us some tips before we signed on with them and one was to play songs that were recognizable as we open.