PS... Trust Me (TAT: A Rocker Romance Book 8)

by Emjay Soren

  The minute that I heard Cal start out AC/DC’s Thunderstruck my nerves left. Cal is a monster on that guitar, and he played it like it was just a mediocre Tuesday night at The Aloha House. Shame right there with him as we sang the intro. The crowd went crazy as he played, and the lights stayed out until those drums came in heavy. The guys chanting thunder until I joined in and the beat kicked up…the stadium went fucking nuts and I just did what I knew how to do best.

  I turned it on and let it throw through me, the energy, the amount of people unable to even see in the cheap seats. The stage was massive, but I used every inch as I wove them under my spell, made the women in the front row think I came to sing just for them. My boys in the mosh pits were spinning their own web and I loved every minute of it.

  I step to the side as Cal took them on a ride of his own playing his solo, marking his territory in this industry. I sound nothing like Brian Johnson, but I can sell anything with my voice and my skills on stage and they loved every second. By the end of the song, they were screaming for TAT and we fucking delivered.

  MTV wanted to talk with us, radio stations were giving out swag we didn’t even know we had. It was such a different environment, they treated us like we were big shots and not the good old boys from the Harbor.

  I guess we delivered our asses off.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Carrie

  “Carrie so help me God!” Noah roared trying to stop the flow of blood gushing from his head. Dad had beat him unconscious and then came after me and then Noah again, passing out after he had enough of beating on us. Tonight, however I tried to save Noah.

  “Don’t yell at me Noah!” I cried but kept my voice down to just above a whisper. “I am so scared one day he will kill you Noah.” I could see the deep gash above his brow from our father slamming his head against the wooden steps leading upstairs. He was so mad coming home having learned of our sneaking out the night before when we snuck out to go see one of Seattle’s best bands play live before they hit the road to success.

  Noah and I hitched a ride to the University district and were planning the same thing on the way home when one of his officers saw us and drove us home. I was so scared of what dad would do I offered myself blatantly to my own father to keep him from going after Noah. I had never felt more low or filthy in my life than begging him to let me apologize. A shiver crawled up my spine remembering the feel of his rank whiskey breath against my neck.

  “Noah he is going to kill you one day. Look at what he did Noah! He has never left you visually beaten, he’s beyond control now. He’s gonna kill us before he lets the truth come out.”

  Noah was fidgeting and looking off in the distance. I knew he was high and that he had been getting high for months now to cope with the things he saw, things done to me and him. “I know.” He whispered and I could see and feel the awful reality of those words. “Trust me, yeah?”

  I crooked my brows not understanding what he meant because there was no question, we knew what he would end up doing one day. “With?” I ask annoyed.

  “Trust me to be able to keep us safe without using your body. Jesus fuck Carrie, trust me to get us out of here and to be ready when I say it’s time.”

  It was ominous and certainly didn’t tell me anything he had planned, but I trusted him as he asked, and I ran the minute he said it was time.

  Stepping over our fathers crumpled beaten body two nights later… we never looked back.

  My phone ringing Bad Girlfriend by Theory of a Deadman pulled me from the dreadful memories of my last days before coming to Gig Harbor. With blurry eyes and a racing heart I answered the call, nervous he was going to tell me he cheated.

  “‘Lo…” I grumbled into the phone.

  His soft chuckle had my legs scratching against one another because Chad’s sexy morning voice was one of my new favorite things. It was, just as his smile was, panty dropping sexy. “Hey baby.”

  “What time is it?” I asked more alert and capable of looking at the clock but too lazy to roll over in my big empty bed.

  “Noah said he talked to you last night.” He sounded apologetic and that didn’t bode well.

  “Yeah, but it was after I saw the MTV news do the interview with you.” I purposely avoided telling him I had watched it. Noah called me to tell me all about it, but Chad didn’t call or text all night.

  “I wanted to call you first dammit! I called Gramps because he had sent me a text saying he needed to talk to me, and it was important. I guess he was in the hospital with chest pains and didn’t want me hearing it from one of his many girlfriends who I guess were draped in the halls waiting on news for the old player.”

  My heart sunk. Oh God I was by far the worst girlfriend ever. I had been ready to crucify him thinking, certain he had cheated to find out Harvey Blake was sick and in what sounded to be dire straits. Immediately I started thinking of fitting in time with Harvey while Chad was gone so that I could care for him and keep the girlfriends at bay.

  “Baby you there?” Chad asked numbly from the end of the line.

  “Sorry I was thinking. I don’t go into the Joint until five tonight so I can go and take him dinner if he’s home and if not, I’ll head to the hospital and bring him his favorite magazines and stuff till he’s home. Do you know when they are releasing him or if he is home yet? If not, I can call him.” My guilt was at full capacity and I wanted to fix this for him, feeling terrible that something great happened just to be ran over by something awful.

  “That’s why I love you baby.” He said his voice cracking, but I could tell he was hiding his emotion.

  Feeling even worse and biting my lips, eyes closed I asked him why. “Because you immediately jump in to help me out knowing I’m freaking out over this. Gramps is all I have Carrie.” He said the last part so quietly my heart broke.

  “You have me too Chad, and Noah and the guys. Harvey is so stubborn even if he died, he would find a way to negotiate a second chance with the All Mighty himself and probably find the loophole.”

  I smiled when I heard his soft chuckle. “Your right I know it. I’m probably overreacting because I’m not there and my thoughts are getting away from me.”

  I knew exactly how he felt, my thoughts had painted him as a cheater at the first chance. I felt awful. “I’ll take care of him baby I promise.” I meant those words fiercely.

  “They should release him later today so maybe swing by before work, make sure he eats something healthy. You may have to hide the healthy from him though.” He laughed again and I could hear the relief in his voice, relief that I was going to keep close to Harvey until Chad was back. “Any changes though baby call me immediately and I can be there in a few hours.”

  “I will I swear. Where are you anyway?”

  “Tri-Cities tonight and Spokane tomorrow. I’m fucking nervous baby, all this shit with Gramps, missing you and your fear that I could hurt you- all on top of a fucking stadium gig. It freaks me the fuck out.”

  Ah so there it was, and he did it sneakily too. My text from last night must have been like a slap in the face after his call to Harvey. “Forget that text Chad. It was stupid and childish of me. When you said Cal was with a harem of fangirls I got scared. I trust you Chad.”

  Those words, words telling him I trusted him were huge and it was when I said them that I truly meant them. I had only ever trusted Noah and Candy with all of me and I realized my insecurities were mine and not because of Chad. I did trust him, couldn’t even imagine him cheating on me or hurting me. It was like a weight had been lifted with those words.

  “Do you really trust me?” He asked and the skepticism in his voice didn’t go unnoticed.

  “Chad, you know what trust means to me, it means everything, and you mean everything. I trust you to love me and to come home to me. Promise me you won’t break it and it’s yours forever.”

  “It’s all I have ever wanted from you baby. You’re my it, my all, my everything.”

  “You too.�
� Just shoot me I said lame shit when he riled me. He was the song writer for the band, had a serious way with words… I had emotions and chills and butterflies. It wasn’t fair that I couldn’t respond with such emotion and love. “I know that doesn’t seem like much when I just agree, but your words become my words when you talk to me like that.”

  “I miss you so much Carrie. I really think I was okay before and able to handle eight days, but now with my Gramps… I just miss you but I’m glad you’re with Gramps when I can’t be.”

  We talked for over an hour about the bus, about Cassa and Shame rocking the bus all day and all night. I was jealous that she was able to run off and chase Shames dream with him. I longed for an all-day session in bed with Chad. I wanted to be to Chad what Cassa was to Shame.

  “Will you call me after your show tonight and tell me all about it.” I ask wishing I could be watching him on the sideline cheering and letting that excitement release when he got inside of me.

  “Yes.” He sighed but sounded astonished at how far he had come. “I can’t wait to see the crowd babe.”

  I was in awe of all they had accomplished. “I can’t wait for the Seattle show. All anyone has been talking about when they come in the Joint is getting to see you guys at Quest Field.”

  “Awesome! Carrie, really?” He was so excited I could almost see his smile, his dimples digging into his cheeks making me melt from memory alone.

  “Yeah and I can’t deny how much I love letting the fangirls know your taken.” It was the only highlight in his being away. I loved seeing the hate these women had for me, knowing I attained the unattainable Chad Blake.

  “Mmmm.” He groaned. “I love jealous Carrie.”

  “Not jealous Chad, possessive.”

  “Mmmm, even better. Possessive Carrie.” I could hear fabric shifting and I knew immediately he was still in bed.

  “Are you in bed?” I ask silently as if everyone in the bus could hear me.

  “Mmmmhmmm. Alone in bed, in the bus and thinking of you baby.” He groaned and I could imagine him stroking himself.

  “Really?” I ask totally shameless when he started running his mouth. “I’m in bed alone too, empty house, empty bed…empty Carrie.”

  His following groan was one of torment. “I can’t wait to fill empty Carrie plum full.”

  I laugh because he defines sexy and makes me laugh at the same time. “Me neither. I hate this big old bed.”

  “Well your big old bed can stay empty- better stay empty, until I come to fill all things involving Carrie Beckett.”

  I laugh a throaty sultry sound, “I like jealous Chad Blake.”

  “Not jealous baby, possessive.”

  I laugh again and find myself rubbing my legs together in longing of possessive Chad. “I hear you breathing baby, heavily. What ya thinking?”

  I smile knowing full well what I am doing. “Thinking of you…filling me…up.”

  “Let’s do this tat fucker.” I hear Noah’s voice from the distance. I hear Chad shuffle around cursing. “Your brother is a cock blocker baby.”

  I laugh. “He needs payback and soon.” I roll from the bed and make my way to the bathroom knowing my time with Chad is ending for the morning. “What tattoo are you getting?”

  He laughs and I can tell that he is about to play with me some more. “Remember the last night when we stayed at the cabin and you let me fuck you for hours?”

  I felt chills race along my spine thinking about our last night together and how long he held out on me before letting me come. I came so hard I dug his skin beneath my nails roaring his name. He had spent so much time building me to a grand finale of screaming, crying, panting, begging mush. “Yes, I doubt I could ever forget that night baby.”

  “Well that night you dug them teeny tiny nails into my skin so deep baby I have claw marks down my back. I couldn’t help but ask your brother nicely to please tattoo those claw marks in my back.”

  Holy fuck!

  “What?” I squeak embarrassed beyond reason. Noah knew Chad was giving it to me as often as he could, he doesn’t need to see the evidence of a phenomenal night of passion. “Please tell me you’re kidding Chad.” I know I am whining but it’s hard enough dealing with Noah outside the sexual realm of my relationship. Rubbing it in his face only makes him harder for me to deal with.

  “Oh, I did baby and I am fucking loving it. Your brother has been giving me so much shit, even before we got together. Trust me baby he respects this.”

  “Let me talk.” I hear Noah demand from the distance, and I cringe inside because ew, what girl wants this talk with her big brother? “Carrie?” He says across the line and I am tempted to pretend the call was dropped because of cell reception.

  “What?” I say sweetly not sure how bad it’ll be.

  “Seriously, Blake’s right sis. I respect him for loving those marks and marking himself with you. It shows me he is serious about you and that eases my soul. Feel me?”

  “Yeah Noah I feel you.” I say but I can’t help the mortification that comes with his knowing. “Does Chad get to tattoo some crazy sex thing between you and Candy?” I ask with a snicker.

  “Fuck no.” He says and hands the phone back to a laughing Chad.

  “Hey, we are about to do this babe, so I’ll call when he is done yeah?”

  “Yeah okay I need to get up anyway and get dinner going for Gramps.”

  “I like that Carrie. I like you calling him Gramps. Makes me feel like you want him to be your Gramps.”

  I laugh and try not to giggle all girly at the thought of legally being his granddaughter in law. “Who wouldn’t want Harvey Chad?”

  He agrees and before he hangs up, I lowered my voice. “Send me a picture when it’s done babe?”

  He groans and gives me a gruff yes before the sound of the machine starts buzzing and I hear Chad hiss. “Fuck warn me man.” He says to Noah who laughs and calls him a pussy. “Love you Carrie girl.”

  “Love you Rockstar.”

  *

  Chad

  I stumbled into our bus wasted in a way I never have been. We partied with the guys from Sinners and celebrated our final show next in Seattle. Trisha was there trying to hang on me like a cheap suit. She sang on some of our ballads and we figured we would have her play Spokane and Seattle to get the recognition, but I couldn’t stand her off stage.

  I was missing my girl and ended up being babysat by Shame and Sass all night so I would drunk dial her or ask her to marry me via text. Shame finally cut me off around four in the morning and don’t even remember hitting my bunk.

  I don’t know how long I was out for but long enough to sober up for my dick to get hard. I tried to open my eyes as I felt Carrie, sensed her undoing my pants as she stroked my dick.

  “Fuck baby, missed you so fucking much.” I try to reach for her, but she giggled and went down, pulling my cock into her mouth. She felt so good, but I wanted her. I missed her. I reach for her arms and pull her off me.

  “I need inside of you baby.” I am still drunk because I fell to the side when I tried to sit up.

  “Shhh, lay back Chad baby.” She whispered and I laughed.

  “Don’t shhhh me woman. I been beating off for like six months we been gone.”

  Six months? Yep, still drunk.

  She tries to hide a giggle and I try to find a light so I can see her face when she rides me, but she grabs my hand and entwines our fingers.

  I feel her pussy, wet and hot as she takes me into her and starts to ride me.

  “You feel so good, Carrie. I need to get harder baby; I love how tight you get when I'm hard.” I try to push up into her, grabbing her hips for my balance and move with her as she rocks over me.

  She feels thicker, her ass never over filled my hands, but it is now. Fuck, I'm drunk and need light.

  “Kiss me baby.” She whispers and her voice is too high.

  I open my eyes right as her lips hit mine, her tongue in my mouth tastes like cigarettes an
d vodka.

  I push her back, praying as I panic and try to get to the light when Trisha starts laughing and I lose my shit.

  I get the light on and see her, my dick still in her as she rides me. I lose all control and use all my force to push her off me when she slammed into the closed door to my bunk, crying out in pain.

  “Get the fuck out of here you stupid fucking bitch!” I open the door without waiting, Noah and Shame right there. Trisha falls out the door holding her head as she cries and I'm feeling all sorts of shit, but pity for her isn’t one of them.

  “Get her the fuck out of here now, I'm not right in the head Shame.”

  He looks at me, and down to my dick out in the open and still wet. I grab the garbage can in the corner and vomit at the sight. Cassa bends to help Trisha up as I try to cover my junk. “How’s it feel to know you’ve been fucked, Chad?” She asks me and I have no fucking clue what she means.

  “Trisha get the fuck out before I put hands on you. I don’t want to, but I will, that shit is close to rape you fucking bitch.” She looks at me and rolls her eyes and I step forward, blocked from both Shame and Noah.

  “Get the fuck out. Trash stays at the curb Trish.” Noah says, grabbing her arm and guiding her out.

  “I wouldn’t have hit her, but I want to.” I say to Shame as I do my pants up.

  “I get it and I know you wouldn’t have.” He reassures me and I sit in the bunk pulling my hair and let loose about every single fuck I could in one breath. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck….fuuuuuuuck!” I roar and punch the wall a few times. “I am so fucked! She won’t forgive that shit. She is gonna fucking leave me!” My voice is loud and Cal, Noah, and Ryan from Sinners with a few of the security guys come in.

  “Breathe, Chad.” Noah says and stands beside me at the bunk.