Until Now

by Cristin Cooper

  A heavy silence hung in the air as they drove to the airport. Neither wanted to say the first or last goodbye. As Bridget found a parking spot, her tears flowed again. This was it. Her last few moments with Katie until November.

  The week Katie decided on a college, Billy bought Katie plane tickets for Thanksgiving and Christmas. It was more for Bridget’s sake than Katie’s. It eased the worry of having her daughter so far away.

  “Mom, don’t cry. Please,” Katie begged.

  “I can’t help it. You’re going states away, and I won’t see you for months.” She turned off the car and kept both hands on the steering wheel while pulling herself together. Even though she wasn’t the only mother to cry as she sent her baby off into the world, she didn’t want to embarrass Katie.

  With her never-ending energy, Katie hopped out and lifted a large duffle bag. Bridget took a deep breath and picked up the other. They met each other at the back of the car and locked arms, pulling each other closer as they walked into the small airport.

  The lines were short, and Katie had her luggage checked in and her ticket in hand within minutes.

  Every part of Bridget wanted to mother Katie by double checking her ticket and bags, but she needed to treat Katie as an adult.

  An adult. She gulped at the realization. Eighteen years wasn’t nearly enough time. She wouldn’t have said that a few years ago when things were rough, but now it seemed as if it was yesterday when she brought her home from the hospital.

  What she had been dreading for months was finally happening. At the security check, with tears in their eyes, they hugged goodbye. They held each other for a few extra moments. Bridget cleared her throat. “Call or text me when you get in, and if you need anything, I’m only a phone call away. I love you so much, Katie.” She kissed her cheek and wiped away her daughter’s tears.

  “I love you, Mom. Thanksgiving isn’t that far away.”

  Bridget took a last look at her baby girl as Katie went through security. This morning Katie mentioned how she wanted to make a good first impression on her roommate. Her naturally wavy hair hung down her back with soft curls. Bridget knew from experience how much time it took to manage it. Contacts replaced her glasses. Her eye makeup was perfect and only enhanced her already beautiful blue eyes. They were large and a soft shade of light blue. People were automatically drawn to the beauty of them.

  She’d changed into short shorts and a tank top with wedge sandals. They added a few years to her youthful appearance. She looked like a beautiful grown woman going out into the world.

  Katie gave one last wave before disappearing down the hall toward her gate. Without realizing it, she took a big part of Bridget’s heart with her.

  Bridget sobered, thinking about the next time she’d see Katie; she would be a full-fledged college student, only coming home for visits. When Katie signed the rental agreement for the condo she would be sharing with another girl, it was for the year, guaranteeing that she wouldn’t be coming home for summer break. Bridget wouldn’t think about that right now. Only one heartbreak at a time.

  She was proud of her daughter and the young lady she had grown into. Katie made parenting relatively easy. They had a few tough years in her early teens, but they made it through and were closer than ever.

  No more late night cuddles in Katie’s bed talking about their day. And no more monthly girl dates watching romantic comedies and eating junk food while commenting on the positive attributes of the male actors.

  Sundays wouldn’t be the same either. Billy’s early morning wake up coffee and donuts followed by the morning shift might be a thing of the past.

  Bridget expected it to hurt, but this was worse than she imagined. She stuffed down her need to cry and hurried to her car. First the tears, then the loud sob broke free before she could get the door unlocked. Slumping down in her seat, she let it out.

  After what felt like hours of crying, she looked at herself in the visor mirror and sighed. “It wasn’t as if he didn’t know I was going to cry.” Thank goodness for waterproof mascara.

  “This is it, Bridget. Things will never be the same. You might as well get it all out tonight.” She blushed when the car door opened next to her and a middle-aged woman stepped out, smiling at her.

  I really need to stop talking to myself.

  She drove the short distance home. Her need to be in Billy’s arms forced her foot on the gas, allowing her to make it back in less time than it took to get there.

  The keys were still in the ignition when her door swung open, and Billy stood there with his arms open wide. She was in them, gripping the back of his shirt, within seconds. Her eyes were finally dry, but she still needed him to hold her.

  Chapter Thirty

  April 2004

  Billy

  “I had no idea five eight-year-olds could be so noisy,” Chuck mumbled to himself as he lined a tray with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches cut into different shapes for Katie’s birthday party.

  “Chuck, you’re a sweetheart.” Bridget kissed him on the cheek before stealing a sandwich. Chuck grumbled, but his flush gave him away. As much as he complained, he’d do anything for Bridget and Katie, including making food for a ‘high fashion’ birthday party on his day off.

  “Oh my goodness! Chuck, did you make the cake?” Chuck lifted a brow and pointed to Billy. She gaped at him. “Billy? Did you decorate it too?”

  “He was up until 1:00 AM finishing it,” Diane chimed in.

  “Billy? You didn’t have to do this.” Didn’t she already know he’d do anything for her and Katie?

  “Did you see the flowers he drove to Phoenix to get?” Diane said.

  “What?” Billy stuck his fingers in his ear to stop the ringing from her high-pitch screech. “Billy Hall, you promised that you’d tone it down this year.”

  “She deserves it.” He shrugged at his reasoning.

  “Ugh. You realize, at some point, we’re not going to be able to meet her high expectations for her birthday. At this rate, we’ll have to buy her a house when she turns twenty-one.”

  He smirked at her use of the word ‘we’ instead of ‘I’. He could only hope that he’d get to share all the future birthdays.

  “The photographer recommended the flowers for the photo shoot. I had to get them.” Even he knew it was over the top to drive that far for flowers, but since the day had to be perfect, he had to do what he had to do.

  “Whoa! Photographer? Why do we need a photographer?” Every year, Bridget allowed him to plan Katie’s birthday party as a surprise to both of them, and every year she got upset about how much it cost him. This may be the last year she turned him loose.

  A knock on the door interrupted her interrogation. “Hold that thought, I think that’s the girls.”

  “Girls? What girls? The party guests are already here.”

  “I hired a hairdresser, makeup artist, and nail technician to come girly up the girls, and then they’ll have a photo shoot on the back porch. That’s why I had the girls dress up.”

  He opened the door before Bridget could rant about the over-the-top expense. “Come in, ladies. You can set up in here.” Three women from the nearby beauty parlor carried in black cases filled with the tools of their trade, everything necessary to give Katie and her friends a day of glamor. He knew she’d love it, especially since Bridget regularly complained about Sweets sneaking into her makeup, and that wasn’t counting all the times he had been forced to paint his darling’s fingers and toes. He gave himself a mental pat on the back for his genius. Bridget mumbled something about firing him from party planning as she sat down with the girls to eat a heart-shaped pb and j and drink bubbly lemonade from a champagne flute.

  The glow from Katie’s face outshone her mother’s wrath. Expense and consequence be damned. It was worth it. His Sweets was having the time of her life and the party just started.

  As Chuck, Billy, and Bridget cleaned up from lunch, Diane kept an eye on the girls while they squealed and pr
anced, rotating between the beauticians and photographer.

  “Oh my!” Bridget’s eyes popped at her first glance of her daughter, barely recognizable under the enormous hair and layers of makeup. “Are those false eyelashes?”

  “Whoa,” he said under his breath.

  Bridget reached for his hand while she tried to maintain a straight face. She whispered, “We’re going to have to warn the girls’ parents before they pick up their daughters.”

  He nodded in agreement.

  Katie looked exactly like one of those pageant girls. It was terrifying, but her grin was ear to ear. “Don’t I look beautiful?” She spun around so they could admire her and batted the feathers they had glued to her eyelids dramatically.

  “Yes, you look beautiful,” Bridget cooed. Billy still couldn’t believe the apparition in front of him was his Sweets.

  “It’s yours and Billy’s turn.”

  “I’m out of here.” Chuck dropped his apron, picked up his keys and was out the garage door before anyone could stop him.

  “That’s okay, sweetie, we’re fine.” Discomfort was written all over her face. Those ladies weren’t going to get near her without a little nudging and maybe some handcuffs. The thought pushed the temperature of the room up twenty degrees before he wrestled it back down.

  “No! You have to. Even Billy.” Katie giggled.

  “Fine. But I draw the line at lipstick.”

  Bridget and Katie looked at him as if he’d grown an extra head. Katie started laughing; her head tilted back the way Bridget did when she laughed hard. “I was totally teasing you, Billy.”

  “Too late. I’m committed now.” He took Bridget’s hand and forced her to follow him to the living room, where the women were finishing with the last party girl.

  “You have two more victims—I mean, clients,” he teased.

  Bridget held his hand, shaking her head. There was fear in her eyes. “That’s okay. I think I’ll leave the fun for the girls.”

  “Oh no. If I am, you are too.”

  Uncontrollable laughter rolled out of him as he watched Bridget’s wavy hair turn into a high bouffant, and he was genuinely frightened by the bright colors that replaced her understated makeup. Undeterred, he did what he said he would, refusing the lipstick per their agreement. He and Bridget even had their own photo shoot. He had to hold her on his lap to keep her from running away, but it was one of the perks.

  Overall, it was one of the best days he ever had. Makeup and all.

  “Did you see the look on Lindy’s mom’s face?” Bridget almost fell over laughing. “She’s never going to look at you the same way.”

  They stood in his spare bathroom, scrubbing makeup off of each other’s faces. She had attempted to control her hair by pulling it into a stiff ponytail since a brush would only bounce off the thick veneer of hair product.

  “Thank you for the party. It was wonderful, as usual, and I’m sorry I got frustrated. It’s still hard for me to allow people to spend money on us…even you,” she tacked on before he could say anything.

  “Does this mean, I get to plan her party next year?”

  “Don’t push it, Mr. Hall.”

  He smirked. “You’re welcome, by the way.”

  He rinsed off the washcloth for the second time before returning to makeup removal duty. “So, I thought Troy was coming.” Troy, her new boyfriend nobody seemed to like except her. He almost made Billy wish she was back with Preston, at least she’d be with someone who deserved her.

  “He was supposed to, but he called and said he’d be late.” Any time she planned something that included Katie, the ape would suddenly be too busy or call to tell her he was stuck at work. Curiously, it never happened if she got a sitter. To be honest, Billy preferred he had as little contact with Sweets as possible. Not only was Troy awkward around her but most of the time, he acted like she didn’t exist.

  “Late? He missed the whole party.”

  “I know. Don’t say it.” She took control of the washcloth to avoid looking at him.

  “PIZZA!” Katie yelled from the living room. After his earlier madhouse, they agreed to a quiet evening of dinner and a movie, Katie’s choice. So pizza and Shrek had been added to the docket. He couldn’t imagine anything better.

  Katie grabbed the paper plates and napkins, Bridget filled glasses with ice and root beer, and he got the movie started. It was automatic. They each had their roles for movie night at his place.

  Just as Shrek met Lord Farquaad, a loud knock sounded at the door, startling an exhausted Sweets, who’d leaned against him. Her smeared makeup made her look more like a clown than a pageant contestant.

  “I’ll get it.” Bridget stood and stretched. Before she reached the door, someone pounded again.

  Billy had a pretty good idea who it was, and when she opened the door, she confirmed his guess.

  “Where were you? The party ended hours ago.” Her voice was clipped and he could feel the frustration rolling off of her.

  “Sorry.” Troy kissed her on the cheek as he stepped inside. Billy had never let him inside before, and the jerk looked around as if he was judging the place. He’d only been inside Bridget’s apartment a handful of times and never for any length of time. He treated her as if her lack of money or used furniture was contagious.

  “I got caught up at work,” he said in a bored voice.

  “You promised you would come.”

  “I said I was sorry. I doubt Katie cares.”

  “I don’t,” a groggy Katie mumbled. Billy patted her on the arm, proud of her for speaking up, even if it was a little garbled. It was no secret Katie thought as little of Troy as he did of her.

  “If you’re going to be pissed about me missing a kid party, I’ll leave.”

  Billy’s attempt to hold back a laugh and hide his smile failed, but the truth was he hadn’t tried very hard. Bridget sent him a death stare before turning back to her boyfriend.

  “Please do,” she said.

  Billy shivered at her glacial tone.

  “Will you follow me out?” he asked.

  She pulled on her sweater and closed the door behind them.

  Twenty minutes later, she stepped back inside, a scary calmness about her.

  Sweets was fast asleep and melding with his arm, so he laid her down and covered her with a blanket before getting up to follow Bridget. He found her stomping through the kitchen, cleaning up the mess left from the party. Afraid that she would wake Sweets, he took over loading the dishwasher and tried to be patient. He hoped she would say something on her own, but after ten minutes, she was scowling and growling something under her breath.

  He stood in front of her and held her arms, stroking gently until she looked up at him.

  “Why are you with him? The sex can’t be that good.”

  “Ugh, Billy!” She picked a plastic cup off the counter and threw it at him. “You’re not funny.”

  “I wasn’t trying to be. I can’t think of another reason you’d be with him.”

  She closed her eyes and flexed her hands open and closed. “When it’s just the two of us, it’s nice. He’s sweet, romantic.”

  “It’s not just you.”

  “I’m well aware, and so is he, which is why he just broke up with me.” She shoved the last of the dirty, plastic cups in the garbage bag and tied it up.

  “You don’t seem heartbroken.” He followed her outside, carrying two more bags of trash to the garbage can in front of his garage.

  “I’m not. I’m pissed. I should have broken up with him.” That was his girl. He couldn’t have been happier to see the spunky side of Bridget return, even if it was a few months late.

  He slung an arm around her shoulders and walked her back inside. “Let’s watch another movie. You two can sleep in the spare bedroom tonight.”

  “Thanks, Billy—for everything.”

  Chapter Thirty-One

  August 3:00 PM

  Billy

  He waited until he could
no longer see her car before heading back inside, going straight to his office. Frustrated, he paced around the small room.

  The whole day he patiently waited for her to ask him to go with her. It was no secret that it was going to be a tough day for her. He hinted multiple times that he’d go, but she never acknowledged them. It felt as if she was pulling away from him, and he didn’t like it.

  The clatter from the kitchen drew his attention. He walked into the kitchen to see several busted plates and a stunned Diane looking up at him from the floor.

  “Sorry. I was clearing the tables in the dining room and overestimated my ability to hold a pile of plates with this old shoulder of mine.” Diane took the broom and dustpan from one of the waitresses and started sweeping up the mess.

  “Here. Let me. You and Chuck can head home.” Looking around the room from his main cook to the waitresses who volunteered to help with the party, he thanked them for their support and told them they could leave. He’d keep himself busy with the cleanup. If he couldn’t keep his mind busy, he’d at least keep his body moving.

  Diane balked, but he managed to get her and Chuck out the door, locking it behind them. Billy watched through the glass front door as Chuck opened the car door for her and gave her a kiss on the cheek before closing it. Billy smiled at the thought of them together. Neither had gotten married or had children and for years they acted as if they didn’t like each other, always fighting like an old, married couple. That should’ve been Billy’s first clue, but nothing connected until Diane’s retirement party when she let him in on their ‘little’ secret. They’d been having a secret love affair for over twenty years. When he asked them why, they winked and smiled at each other but stayed tight-lipped. Billy decided he didn’t want to know.

  It was nearing late afternoon; customers had stopped by only to be turned away by the closed sign on the door. The last time he closed early on a weekend was the day Sweets was born. He wouldn’t have been anywhere else, and the rest of the employees complained about working when they wanted to be at the hospital to support Bridget. He might’ve taken her in out of sympathy, but within days, her big heart endeared her to all of them.