Don't Give Me Butterflies

by Tara Sheets

  When Jordan reached the porch steps, he sat down with a hard thud. Soon Layla would arrive, and plans would be underway. He should be glad, but instead he was overcome with how wrong it felt.

  Waffles brayed from the paddock gate, as if to agree with him.

  Jordan dropped his head into his hands. What was he going to do without Kat? She made everything . . . right. She’d made the farmhouse feel more like a home than it ever had before. It was the kind of home he’d always wished for as a kid. The kind where you were welcomed, and people cared, and they were happy to see you.

  Lucky nudged his hand with a cold, wet nose. The dog had been so scared when Kat first brought him home, but now he laid his head in Jordan’s lap like they’d known each other for years. Jordan’s chest tightened.

  Edgar the crow swooped down and landed on the porch railing.

  Waffles brayed again and tossed the ridiculous tire into the air.

  Lulabelle jumped onto a wooden platform Kat had placed in the paddock, just for her. The little goat jumped on, then off. Then on. Then off. It was exhausting just watching her, but she was happy.

  They were all happy. And they trusted him.

  Jordan rubbed a hand over the sudden ache in his chest.

  A sleek white Mercedes-Benz pulled to a stop in the driveway. Layla emerged in a designer suit, mile-high stilettos, and dark sunglasses that made her look like a badass. Good for her. The little girl with the hand-me-down backpack had gone and done it. She’d made her life better, and he was glad for her.

  “Hey,” Layla said. “This place looks great. It’s amazing what a new coat of paint and some yard work will do to make a place look like a real home.”

  It was a real home now. It had never been before, but Kat had turned it into one. She was the reason for all of this. Kat was the reason for everything. Jordan suddenly felt as though the earth’s axis had tilted sideways, and he was in danger of sliding off. He gripped the edge of the step. It had always been Kat, from the moment he first saw her in that silly chicken costume at the farmer’s market. He’d arrived back on Pine Cove Island believing he knew everything. But then he met Kat, and all those things that seemed so important before slipped away until the only thing left was . . . her.

  “Layla,” Jordan said, standing. “I’ve been an idiot.”

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  It was unusually slow for a Wednesday at the Daisy Meadows Pet Rescue. Kat had been watching the clock for the past hour. She felt like it was ticking backward.

  She dragged the elastic band from her hair and began massaging her aching scalp. For the past couple of days, she’d been like a whirlwind, spinning up one activity after another to keep herself busy. Sweeping and mopping. Cleaning the kennels. Scrubbing the windows. Calling volunteers. Sweeping and mopping again. She’d even stooped to organizing the office supplies and paperwork. Anything so she wouldn’t have time to think about Jordan. How could she ever have thought things would work between them? Once again, her delusions about life had led her to hope for something that just wasn’t there.

  She gritted her teeth, refusing to give in to her feelings. She still hadn’t cried, and it was just as well. Crying never helped anyone. What was it her grouchy gym teacher once said when she got hit in the head with a soccer ball? “Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, kid. Cry and you cry alone.” She’d taken those words to heart and found that they were mostly true. Nothing good ever came from crying, and mostly it just made people uncomfortable.

  She looked at the corner of her desk, remembering how Jordan had breezed in that day, dropping off the butterfly cage with barely a backward glance. He’d been trying to escape as quickly as possible. It hurt to realize he hadn’t changed; only she had. She’d fallen for him so completely, she’d been too blind to realize the home she was building back at the farm was just an illusion. She should’ve known it couldn’t last. He’d even told her it was temporary. But as usual, she’d allowed herself to dream of something better. Something real. She’d thought maybe this time . . .

  With a heavy sigh, she stood and went to the coffee maker. Hank followed closely at her heels, as if he sensed her sadness.

  “Hey, gloomy,” Smitty called from her back office. “Can you bring me a cup? I need to talk to you.”

  Uh-oh. Smitty was onto her. Kat thought she’d been pretty good at hiding her despair. She’d always been good at pretending. Apparently, Smitty wasn’t fooled. Kat poured two cups of coffee and added some clumpy powdered creamer. Then she stepped into her boss’s cluttered office. “Here you go.”

  “What’s eating you?” Smitty demanded, taking the cup and setting it on her desk. “You’ve been moping around here all week like the ship’s sinking and someone stole your lifeboat.”

  “I’m fine,” Kat said. “I’ve just been keeping busy, that’s all.”

  “Mm-hmm.” Smitty eyed her shrewdly. She wasn’t buying it.

  Kat made a pretense of stirring her coffee with a red plastic stir stick.

  “He break your heart, then?” Smitty barked.

  Kat looked up, startled.

  “That broody fella with the scar and the come-hither eyes.” Smitty crossed her arms with an expression that said she was willing to bring out the big guns. “You want me to have a word with him?”

  “What? No,” Kat said quickly.

  “My cousin Rocco’s a bouncer over at the Siren.” Smitty leaned forward in her chair. “I can get him to give that guy a”—she made air quotes with her hands—“visit.”

  “No!” Kat said in alarm. “I’m fine, Smitty. Really. I broke up with him, that’s all. It was a mutual decision, and everything’s fine now. I’ll be completely fine.” It wasn’t a total lie. In about fifty or sixty years, she might be.

  Smitty mashed her frosted red lips into a hard line. “I can’t have people upsetting my favorite receptionist.”

  Kat felt a surge of gratitude for the older woman. Smitty was a prickly pear on the outside, but soft as sponge cake on the inside. “I’m your only receptionist,” Kat reminded her.

  “Even still. If that long, tall drink of water can’t see what a catch you are, then you’re better off without him.”

  A familiar braying sound came from the parking lot outside. Kat cocked her head and listened. It must’ve been her imagination. Waffles was back at the farm, of course.

  A quieter sound followed. It sounded strangely like a bleating goat. Lulabelle?

  Kat hurried to the front door. When she pushed it open, she jerked to a stop.

  Jordan Prescott stood in the parking lot, leaning against the old farm truck hooked to a trailer. He looked fiercely determined. Beautiful as always, with rugged work clothes and windblown hair. He looked exactly the way Kat loved him best—a little bit wild. But it wasn’t just Jordan’s arrival that shocked her. It was his entourage.

  Her heart began thumping madly at the sight of him. Of them.

  Lucky stood beside Jordan with his favorite sock toy in his mouth. When he recognized Kat, he dropped the toy and gave a happy bark.

  Waffles and Lulabelle pranced around Jordan, calling out a greeting to Kat. Just when she thought the image of him and the animals couldn’t get any stranger, something orange and furry jumped out of the truck’s open door. It was Clementine. The cat padded over to Jordan, rubbed against his shins, then sat at his feet.

  “What’s going on?” Kat asked in astonishment. “Why are they here?”

  “I needed backup,” Jordan said.

  Kat gaped in disbelief. “But . . . how did you get them to come?”

  “I asked them.”

  She jammed her hands onto her hips. “You asked them. Just like that.”

  “Well, I did have to bring along the box of kittens to convince Clementine. And it took some coaxing to get Waffles in the trailer. But once Lulabelle hopped in, he was game.”

  Hank trotted over to join his friends.

  Kat shook her head, incredulous. The sight of all of the
m together was almost painful, because it was everything she loved most.

  “What are you doing here, Jordan?” she asked in a low voice. She could feel her heart cracking again, and it hurt. There wasn’t much left to say.

  He glanced at the ground for a moment, as if gathering his thoughts. Or was it courage? He seemed nervous.

  Lulabelle butted his leg in encouragement. Clementine looked up at him and meowed.

  Jordan cleared his throat, then fixed his gaze on hers. “I’ve been a fool, Kat. About a lot of things.”

  The pine cone in her throat was suddenly back, more painful than ever. She had to work to stay in control. Why was he saying all this now?

  “Yesterday, I met with Layla so we could discuss putting the farm up for sale.”

  Kat crossed her arms, hugging herself. “That’s your business, not mine.”

  Jordan shook his head. “No, that’s not what I’m trying to say.” He swore softly and began again. “I went to the farm yesterday with the intention of selling it. But when I got there, I saw all the animals, and I realized it wasn’t just a farm. It was . . . It was home.”

  Kat’s limbs began to tingle.

  Jordan stepped closer, and the animals followed right beside him like a row of soldiers on the front line. They all watched Kat expectantly, with so much hope. It made her want to cry.

  “Kat, I was wrong. I should never have asked you to move back with me. I thought it was the only way to hold on to what we have together, but I was wrong. I just couldn’t imagine losing you knowing how much I . . .” His voice trailed off for a moment, but he forged on. “How much I love you.”

  Kat blinked rapidly, ignoring the prick of tears that threatened her hard-fought composure. How in the hell was she supposed to pretend after a declaration like that?

  There was a loud caw overhead, and Edgar swooped past her, then settled lightly on Jordan’s shoulder.

  Kat closed her eyes briefly. Et tu, Edgar?

  “I love you,” Jordan repeated. “I’ve never said it before, but I’m saying it now. You are everything that’s important to me, Kat, and I didn’t realize that the one thing I’ve always wanted the most wasn’t money or that lifestyle back in Manhattan. It’s been you, all along. I don’t want to leave. I want to be here, with you. If you’ll still have me.”

  Kat felt as if a dam had burst inside her, and all the emotions she’d been suppressing for days came rushing out. The tears were really falling now. Spilling over like the stupid crier who cries alone. Except she wasn’t alone. She was with her motley crew of a family.

  For several moments, she was so overcome with emotion, she couldn’t find any words at all.

  Hank let out a little bark of encouragement.

  Kat wiped her eyes, a smile hovering on her lips as she stared at the man she loved.

  “Say yes, honey,” Smitty’s gruff voice called from the doorway. “Then you can kiss and make up and get those mangy farm animals the hell outta my parking lot.”

  Kat laughed through her tears. “Okay.”

  Jordan closed the distance between them and reached for her, burying his face in her neck. The animals surrounded them until they were anchored on all sides by a muddle of fur and feathers and joyful noises. It was the oddest, messiest group hug Kat had ever experienced, but it couldn’t have been more perfect. Because these were her people. She loved them, and they loved her. And that was everything.

  Epilogue

  A few months later . . .

  “Do you think they’ll notice if we show up to the grand opening naked?” Kat dragged a towel around herself as she made a beeline for their master bedroom closet. “We’re so late, we’re barely going to have time to throw on clothes.” She lifted a dress from a hanger, still marveling at the walk-in closet Jordan had built. One of the first things he’d done was tear down a bedroom wall in the farmhouse to make a new master bedroom for both of them. It had every luxury, and there was even a raised cushion in the corner of the room for Clementine, his “second favorite ‘Kat.’”

  “If you show up naked,” Jordan said, coming up behind her, “customers will be fighting to get through the door.”

  He murmured more details about her glorious nakedness, and Kat gave him a playful shove. Then she changed her mind and pulled him closer for a quick kiss. Only it wasn’t quick, because the Queen of Impulsive Decisions had other ideas. But Kat didn’t mind so much anymore. She loved being impulsive, especially with him.

  Jordan wrapped his arms around her, sliding his hand under her towel. Soon they were in very real danger of missing the grand opening of the new Daisy Meadows Pet Rescue.

  Her phone chimed and Kat pulled away to check text messages. “It’s Smitty. She’s asking where we are.”

  “Tell her it’s my fault we’re running late.” Jordan began buttoning his shirt. “She likes me.”

  “Only because you bought the building and made all the improvements she wanted for the animals. Now she thinks you walk on water.” Kat quickly threw her dress over her head and began brushing her hair.

  “It was the least I could do.”

  “It was the most anyone’s ever done. Those improvements you made to the building are incredible. It’s like a fancy pet hotel now.” She set the brush down and held out her hand, admiring the sparkling rock of an engagement ring Jordan had surprised her with the week before. They’d been sitting under the willow trees when he proposed, and the memory would forever be at the top of her Favorite Moments of All Time list.

  Together they headed down the stairs into the foyer, and the front door swung open for them.

  Jordan laughed. “I wonder how long it’s going to take before I get used to that.”

  Kat gave his hand a little squeeze, her heart overflowing with love. A couple of weeks ago, she and Emma and Juliette had finally used the “Hearth and Home” spell on the farmhouse. They’d waited for a full moon, then stood outside together, holding hands as the breeze whispered and swirled around them. It had been a simple spell, but Kat had shivered at the strength of the bond that had grown between them. Every day she thanked the universe that she’d found her cousins. Every day she felt blessed to be a Holloway.

  As they left the house, Kat went to check on the animals out of habit. Waffles and Lulabelle had a new barn inside the large paddock so they could frolic. There were now ten chickens, and Jordan had built an even bigger coop for them to nest. One of the empty fields had been fenced in for potential newcomers, and the red barn had been cleared out. “Room for the family to grow,” Jordan had told her. He’d also moved the bohemian caravan to a spot under the willow trees, which turned out to be one of Kat’s favorite places.

  When they reached the truck, Kat started to get in, but Jordan laid a hand on her shoulder. “Hold on, I have a surprise for you.”

  She started to grin. “What is it?”

  “If I told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise.” He motioned for her to follow him toward the road.

  At the end of the long gravel driveway, a large rectangular sign swung from a pole where the old farm sign used to be.

  “I had it commissioned a few weeks ago, and they just installed it this morning.” He walked with her until they were both standing in front of it.

  Kat gasped in delight. It was a brilliant mosaic sign made of intricate bits of colored glass and ceramic tiles. In large, emerald green letters the sign read WILLOWBROOK LAVENDER FARM & ANIMAL SANCTUARY.

  “It’s by the same artist who did Emma’s and Juliette’s signs for their shops,” Jordan said. He sounded a little nervous. “Do you like it?”

  She shook her head in awe, tears pricking the corners of her eyes. It wasn’t just the exquisite beauty of the sign; it was everything it represented.

  “I’ll have it redone,” he said quickly. “Whatever you want it to say. I just thought—”

  “No,” she laughed, wiping her eyes. “I love it. It’s the best gift I’ve ever received.”

  He gave her th
at slow, enchanted prince smile that made her heart swell with so much love. The new sign sparkled in the sunlight behind him, and the farm with the animals beyond that, and the fields of lavender beyond that. And suddenly everything Kat loved most in the world was right in front of her—all her dreams in one place.

  When Jordan gathered her in his arms, a thrill shot through her. Only this time it wasn’t butterflies. It was the thrill of knowing that she was exactly where she was supposed to be. Home.

  They linked hands and walked back down the path together.

  The Holloway charms are powerful. But there are other kinds of magic in the world—like red-hot first kisses,

  secret glances, and the feeling that comes with falling truly, madly, inconveniently in love . . .

  Don’t miss Emma’s story in

  DON’T CALL ME CUPCAKE

  by Tara Sheets.

  Available now from Zebra Books.

  Read on for a special preview . . .

  The storm on Pine Cove Island was about to make history. Thunder rumbled in the distance and the sky darkened to a charcoal gray. Clouds loomed over the sleepy island town, casting shadows against the rocky shore. For Emma Holloway, this just wasn’t acceptable.

  She stood in her kitchen, eyeing a mixing bowl with the single-minded focus of an ER surgeon as she whipped lemon frosting into soft peaks.

  A loud clap of thunder made her jump, and she quickly scooped out a dollop of frosting and tasted it. The sharp, clean zest of lemon burst on her tongue, but it needed more vanilla to balance it out. She checked the ancient cookbook. “Close. But not quite there yet.”

  Lightning flashed, making the old two-story Victorian house creak. A door slammed upstairs.