Pursuing Happiness

by Jessie Pinkham

  “How was your fake date with Sarah?” asked Collin while they were eating waffles and watching Dex enjoy his jungle gym.

  “It went pretty well. The cheese was excellent, and I didn’t have to pretend to be Sarah’s boyfriend, which was good because I’m not sure how convincing I would have been. Apparently this board member who wants Sarah as a granddaughter-in-law doesn’t realize she’s going to end up with a grandson-in-law.”

  “Or she’s in denial,” suggested Collin.

  “Either way, he was far more interested in one of the catering guys than in Sarah.” Sarah didn’t think said catering guy was into men so much as an excuse to take a break. Matt wasn’t as sure, but his gaydar was still very much a work in progress.

  “Was he cute?”

  “The catering guy? I guess if you’re into the heavily tattooed look. Not really my preference.”

  “I’m never getting a tattoo,” said Collin. “Voluntarily getting stabbed with a needle repeatedly? Ugh.” He shuddered. “No thanks.”

  “Not a fan of needles?”

  Collin nodded, looking a touch sheepish. “I cried getting shots at the doctor’s until an embarrassing age. But that’s enough about my phobia. I’m glad your evening went well.”

  “How was your night?”

  “I kept losing pool games in a spectacular fashion and none of us wanted to admit it’s been eleven years since we graduated high school. It was a good time anyway, though. Good to catch up with the old gang, or at least the part of the old gang that’s still in the area.”

  “I’m not a pool fan,” said Matt. “Air hockey is much more fun.”

  “Pool is fun enough, but I’m awful at it. I haven’t played air hockey in ages. Maybe we should do that sometime.”

  “That would be great.” Matt didn’t get to play often but he enjoyed it. Someday when he had the space, not to mention the funds, he hoped to own an air hockey table.

  “Today, though, is made for pools of the water variety.”

  “You’re not picky about which days you swim,” pointed out Matt. Collin swam before work almost every day. He definitely got his money’s worth out of his gym membership.

  “Fair enough, but I’m talking about outdoor pools.”

  “Won’t they be crowded?” It was a gorgeous summer Saturday. Matt imagined a good percentage of Philadelphia might have the same idea as Collin. Enough people that the pools would be full at least, and he very much doubted he’d like swimming in a jam-packed pool, if he could even find room to swim at all.

  “I have an open invitation to my brother’s pool. Texted him earlier and he said we’re welcome to come over and swim.”

  “That’s nice of him.”

  “I could never sell my soul to a corporation the way he and Mel have, but it does pay well.”

  “Mel’s your sister-in-law?”

  “Yes. Oh, if we go I’ll have to text and ask if she wants ice cream. She’s been craving it a lot and she can’t get her favorite Little Baby’s in South Jersey. It never hurts to keep your pregnant sister-in-law happy. I’m hoping she’ll let me spoil her kid down the road, you know.”

  “Now I want ice cream,” said Matt. “Thanks a lot.”

  “We’ll get ice cream for sure. Interested in going to swim at Todd’s?”

  “Yes.” Matt had never actually been swimming in a pool. He’d spent many hours in the local pond as a kid and had always enjoyed that, so he was happy to try the pool. “Oh. I’ll need to go buy swim trunks.”

  “You don’t have any?” Collin asked this as though he hardly believed it possible.

  Matt hadn’t packed any when he left his parents’ house and no occasion for which to purchase them had arisen since. “Nope.”

  “Please don’t take this the wrong way, but do you know how to swim?”

  “I do. I just haven’t done it in a while.”

  “Okay. So you need a bathing suit. I don’t think mine will fit you, but there’s not going to be a great selection in the stores this late in the season.”

  “I’m not picky,” replied Matt. “Do you want to get ice cream while I get swim trunks?”

  “That’s fine. We can take the speed line across the river and get a Lyft from there. It’s a lot cheaper that way.”

  “Works for me. I like cheaper.”

  Speaking of saving money, Collin was right about the limited selection of swim trunks available, but what was left in the store was marked down half off so that wasn’t all bad. Matt ended up with a lime green pair. He didn’t think lime green was an especially flattering color, on himself or anyone else, but it was slightly better than neon yellow stripes which was the only other option in his size.

  He had some nerves over meeting Collin’s family. Well, he’d briefly met Todd before. That had just been a random encounter, though, not meeting his boyfriend’s brother and sister-in-law. What if they didn’t like him or he missed some important social cue?

  Todd opened his front door for them. “Hey guys, come in.”

  “You remember Matt,” said Collin.

  “Yeah. You were flirting with him before you’d even finished moving in.”

  Oh, so that had been flirting. Matt wasn’t certain at the time.

  “Good to see you again.” Todd clapped him on the back like they were old friends. “So my brother’s dragging you to swim, huh?”

  “I wasn’t exactly hard to convince.”

  A pregnant woman who could only be Mel joined them. Collin held up his cooler bag. “I come bearing Little Baby’s.”

  “You’re the best brother-in-law.”

  “Mel, this handsome guy is my boyfriend Matt. Matt, meet Todd’s wife Mel.”

  She held out her hand. “Nice to meet you.”

  “Likewise. Thanks for having me,” he said as he shook her hand.

  “We’re glad to. Even without the ice cream, though that doesn’t hurt. Let me put it in the freezer.”

  “Bathroom’s this way if you want to change there,” said Todd, leading Matt into the house. “Kitchen’s there, obviously, and the pool’s through the back door. Help yourselves to drinks or whatever.”

  “I’ve got limeade in the fridge,” said Mel. “And there’s sunscreen on the table outside.”

  Collin said, “We put it on already.”

  “Thanks for the offer, though.” Goodness knew Matt needed sunscreen if he wasn’t going to turn into a tomato.

  “No problem. Make yourselves at home.” Mel put the ice cream away and waved toward the pool. “I’ll be outside soon.”

  “Me too,” said Todd. “I just need to unload the dishwasher first.”

  Matt and Collin changed in the bathroom then headed outside. On the other side of a fence there was an in-ground pool, small patio, and a table set which was shaded by a massive umbrella. It all looked very inviting.

  Collin dropped their towels on a chair. “Are you a dive right in guy or do you take forever to get all the way in?”

  “I’m a walk right in guy.” Matt didn’t have experience with diving because ponds, of course, didn’t come with diving boards. He’d never understood why two of his sisters inched into the water over the course of fifteen minutes.

  “Water’s bound to be warm anyway, with the weather we’ve been having.” With that Collin dove in.

  He was right. It was cooler than the air, which was half the point of swimming, but certainly not cold. Matt walked down the steps and swam out to meet Collin. It pleased him to find that muscle memory worked just fine for his swimming abilities.

  “This was a good idea,” he said.

  “Glad you think so,” answered Collin.

  Muscle memory worked for floating, too. He got into a comfortable back float and watched a cloud pass overhead. While he could’ve done without the chlorine smell, the overall experience reminded him of how much he used to enjoy being in the water. He had lots of good memories centered on swimming in the pond with his siblings and cousins. He spared a moment to won
der if his nieces were learning to swim now, then abandoned the subject, because he didn’t want to get melancholy and thereby ruin his afternoon.

  “I’ve missed this,” he said.

  “Swimming? I can’t imagine not being in the water,” said Collin. “When I was a kid Mom always said I was part dolphin, until I got to be a smartass teenager and asked her what exactly she was hinting at about my paternity.”

  Matt laughed so hard he started to sink. “That’s terrible.”

  “Dad almost choked laughing. It was the last time she said I’m part dolphin.”

  “He’s leaving out the part where he scandalized Great Aunt Rebecca.” Todd grabbed the sunscreen and proceeded to apply it liberally. “She was Mom’s great aunt and had to be at least eighty-five. Never looked at Collin the same way after that comment.”

  “She died six months later,” Collin said. “She never had the opportunity.”

  “I distinctly recall her spending the rest of that afternoon giving you the stink eye.”

  “She always liked you better anyway.”

  Mel joined them, shaking her head. “Let’s talk about something else, guys.” To Matt she explained, “These two can spend hours discussing which relatives like which of them better. It’s ridiculous.”

  “It only went on a long time once,” said Todd. “Years ago.”

  Collin nodded. “Yeah, and we were a little drunk.” That said, he dove neatly into the water.

  “You really do dive like you were born to swim,” Matt said when his boyfriend popped back up.

  “Years of practice. Hey, can I teach the baby to swim?”

  Todd seized on the opportunity. “That sounds like an offer of free babysitting, doesn’t it, Mel?”

  “It sure does. Can we get a contract? You’re our witness, Matt.”

  He decided he hadn’t needed to worry about meeting Collin’s family.

  Chapter Twelve

  All the work he’d put into the new brochures paid off beautifully, Collin judged when the shipment arrived. They were both eye-catching and informative, promoting Ted’s Place programs and offering resources for the LGBT community including, as promised, an entire brochure specifically aimed at the older crowd. He considered it important to provide this information in a portable format right by the door because some people weren’t yet ready to acknowledge their sexuality to another real live person.

  Despite what technophiles thought, the internet had not made print media obsolete. Ted’s Place offered plenty online, including links to reputable sites with great information because there was no point in reinventing the wheel. Nevertheless, their brochures remained popular. As he was putting out the new versions a middle-aged woman reached for one.

  “These are great,” she said. “I’m going to put these around my house. Do you have any recommendations?”

  “That depends what you’re looking for,” answered Collin.

  “My teenage son is gay and I want him to know that I love him no matter what. I don’t want him to wonder if it’s safe to come out to me.”

  “You’re sure he’s gay?”

  “The parental controls on his phone report blocking gay porn on a regular basis,” she replied matter-of-factly. “Among many other signs.”

  “That’s a pretty good indicator he’s at least not straight.” Collin selected a brochure aimed at straight allies. “This one should be good for you. I’d also suggest you state your support outright.”

  “I don’t want to pressure him if he’s not ready.”

  “Fair enough, but your support can be general, not specific to him.” He added a flyer for some upcoming programs to her pile. “You can establish that you’re an ally for friends, celebrities, even fictional characters.” Collin’s parents had never been anything other than accepting of his sexuality, but he thought coming out to them might have been a bit easier if they’d made positive comments about gay rights from time to time beforehand.

  “Good idea. Thanks.”

  “No problem. I’m happy to help, and you know we’re here if either of you needs anything.”

  She looked at one of their posters. “When he’s ready I think the teen nights would be good for him. I’m so glad this place exists. Thanks again for the advice.”

  “You’re welcome. Maybe I’ll see you around.”

  It took a few more minutes to arrange the display to his satisfaction. During that time someone walked past him to the front desk, though Collin was concentrating on placing brochures for maximum impact and didn’t pay much attention at first.

  “Welcome to Ted’s Place,” said Violet. “How can I help you?”

  “Honestly, I’m not sure. My parents kicked me out because I’m gay,” said a male voice.

  Another one. Fuck.

  “Since I’m sixteen most shelters won’t take me,” continued this poor kid. “I spent most of my money on the bus to Philadelphia because I have a gay cousin here somewhere.”

  Violet asked. “Do you have any idea how to get in touch with him?”

  “No. He was kicked out for being gay, too.”

  Finally happy with his brochure display, Collin picked up the box with extras and headed back towards his office. He didn’t get very far because he was struck by the teen’s hair. It was the darkest shade of red Collin had ever seen, a color he was very familiar with because it graced his boyfriend’s head.

  It would be an insane coincidence, too outrageous to be real. And yet something compelled Collin to ask, “Excuse me. What’s your cousin’s name?”

  “Matt Aldridge. I don’t suppose you know him?”

  Insane coincidence indeed. “He’s my boyfriend.”

  Collin had to drop his box because the kid collapsed into his arms and cried. With a little effort he led Matt’s cousin back to his office as Violet called out, “I’ll tell Andrew you need to reschedule.”

  One didn’t usually want to reschedule meetings with the director, but then again Andrew would understand. He was as straight as they came but dedicated his life to helping the LGBT community, eventually founding Ted’s Place as a memorial to his younger brother who had been so bullied over being gay that he committed suicide. Andrew wouldn’t want Collin to prioritize a nonessential meeting over his boyfriend’s homeless and traumatized cousin.

  “I came here because it was my only chance,” said Matt’s cousin once Collin got him in a seat. “I was afraid I’d never find Matt and I didn’t know what would happen to me. I mean, I still don’t, but…”

  “Hey, Matt’s going to welcome you with open arms. I’m sure of it. What’s your name?”

  “Levi. Levi Aldridge.”

  “I’m Collin Moravec. Matt can’t usually answer his phone right away when he’s at work, but let’s give him a call.”

  Levi looked at Collin’s phone. “Will you?”

  “Of course.”

  Matt didn’t answer so Collin sent a text. Call me ASAP. Nothing bad, I promise. By which he meant he wasn’t dying or breaking up, not that it wasn’t horrible how Levi was disowned.

  Speaking of Levi, he looked very lost and forlorn, understandably so. “It’s gonna be alright, you know,” said Collin.

  “How can you be so sure? What if Matt doesn’t want anything to do with our family? I wouldn’t blame him.”

  “Then I’ll dump him and you’ll move in with me.”

  Levi looked horrified. In retrospect, Collin should’ve known better than to try one of his jokes, so he hastened to add, “Kidding. He’s not going to turn you away. Matt’s a good guy.”

  “But…”

  “Does everyone in your family worry this much?”

  “I guess?” Poor kid sounded so uncertain that Collin felt bad for asking the question.

  “I can only imagine how you’re feeling right now, Levi, but I firmly believe that everything looks brighter on a full stomach. Are you hungry?”

  “Uh, yeah, but I’m broke.”

  “My treat. There’s a great deli dow
n the street, so let’s go get some food in you. Sound good?”

  “Yes. Thank you.”

  “No problem.”

  Levi was the sorriest bundle of nerves Collin had ever seen, but he worked himself up to ask, “So Matt… he’s happy? Is he a vet tech now?”

  “Yes and yes,” confirmed Collin on the way down the hall. “Violet, we’re going to the deli.”

  “Enjoy,” she said.

  Levi didn’t speak further and Collin didn’t want to push, so he kept quiet. Collin had a ham sandwich in the fridge at work but he wasn’t about to pass up a chance for his favorite pastrami melt.

  Levi really would be okay. He’d have baggage to deal with, unavoidably, but he had an older cousin who’d look out for him. He wasn’t going to end up homeless, couch surfing, or in fucking conversion therapy.

  This would be a huge change in Matt’s life, of course. At sixteen Levi was old enough to be responsible for himself most of the time – and Collin suspected the kid was going to be forced to grow up a little faster than he might have otherwise – but Matt would probably end up getting legal custody, at least on an emergency basis, and would have a vulnerable teen depending on him.

  There was a lot to consider. Matt and Levi should talk with Lindsay, the center’s social worker. She could at least point them in the right direction regarding some of this legal custody business and hook Matt up with some guidance.

  While they were waiting for their food he said, “It’s pretty crazy that you came here looking for Matt in the whole city and ran into me.”

  “Yes. Kind of makes me think my parents are wrong about God hating gay people, since it sure seems like He was looking out for me.”

  The religious angle was way out of Collin’s depth, so he settled for replying, “I think your parents are wrong about a lot of things.”

  “I hope so.”

  Damn, the kid looked lost and afraid. Collin couldn’t relate to this level of anguish or rejection. Matt would be able to, though.

  “You’re probably gonna get more advice than you want, so I’m trying not to contribute to that overload, but I do want to remind you that you don’t have to figure everything out right away. It’s okay to take your time.”