On Ice, A Hockey Romance

by Trisha Harley McCarthy

  He moved closer and tipped his finger under my chin. Our gazes locked. The rest of the world fell away along with all our troubles and fears. It was just us in the courtyard—just Flynn and me, all alone, and inexplicably drawn to each other. My brain shut down as his lips captured mine in a soft and tender kiss. His warm hands cupped my face. He pulled me deeper into the kiss as his mouth explored mine. I felt Flynn’s love for me in this one kiss that I couldn’t seem to resist it, even though it was wrong on all levels. I craved the comfort and solace he offered.

  “Flynn, you asshole,” Rutkowski barked at us.

  We instantly pulled apart. Fuck. I wiped the back of my hand over my lips as if I could erase what had just happened and that we got witnessed by the one guy who despised Flynn. We were at his mercy. My cheeks flooded with embarrassment.

  “What the hell, man? Announce yourself before barging in on people for fuck’s sake.” Flynn glared at Rut.

  “The nurse is looking for her.” Rut nodded in my direction. His face was devoid of any and all emotion. The antithesis of the man himself—loud, raucous, and classless.

  “It’s not what it seems,” I blurted out.

  Flynn moved in front of me to shield me from Rut’s unwavering gaze. And what an unsettling one it was. I was barely hanging onto my sanity as it was. What had I gotten myself into? I just wanted to escape this nightmare.

  “Zoe, I think you should go.”

  I threw him a panicked look, afraid of what Flynn may do when alone with Darryl. Nevertheless, the nurse was looking for me. I had to go. I nodded and hurried off.

  Flynn

  Darryl Rutkowski shook his head at me. I felt like a complete asshole for putting Zoe in the middle of my shit-pile of a life. I’d had a moment of weakness. For some warped reason, I needed to tell Zoe my true feelings. A lot of a good that did me. I’d fucked up my life with Jesse and Zoe and now I’d gone behind my friend’s back and kissed his wife while he was lying in a hospital bed maybe fighting for his very life. Yeah, I fucked up royally.

  “Zoe had nothing to do with my actions.” I broke the silence.

  “Not my business, man.” Rut let out a sigh.

  I looked at Darryl Rutkowski. Was he actually displaying an ounce of decency and compassion? I thought I would never see the day he wouldn’t shout from the rooftops how much of an asshole I was. I scrubbed my hands through my hair. It had been a long-ass night. My emotions were all over the map. One minute, we were celebrating and the next my friend collapsed and winded up in emergency surgery. Life was dealing me a potent dose of karma.

  “I’ll be honest, Darryl. I’ve had a shit day. We all have. I am not making excuses for what I did. Things just got out of hand. I had a moment of weakness and acted on them with someone who is unavailable. Jesse is sick and all we have done over the last few months is fight like cats and dogs. The guilt and fear are fucking with me big time. Zoe is my friend too. I’m trying to be there for the two most important people in my life, and I’m failing miserably. Everything I’ve done recently has turned to shit right before my eyes. You and Zoe are the only ones who know about Jesse aside from her family.”

  I turned away to clear the lump that had lodged in my throat. I waited for Rut to lay into me and read me the riot act. He did neither. His heavy hand fell on my shoulder, giving it a squeeze before he headed back inside. I blinked. Maybe I had misjudged Darryl. I blew out a breath as the tension drained from my body. I needed to bury these feelings for Zoe. We were over and done for good. I lost my chance once Ki stepped back into her life. Fuck it, I never had a chance to begin with. Zoe and I had been doomed from the start.

  I’d been bitter when Jesse dumped me because of a rumor spread by some chick I’d had a few dates with before Jesse and I even began dating. What galled me the most was that Jesse knew my life had media attention. When I started in the NHL, I had been naïve about the press. At first, when I was winning games, the limelight held a certain appeal. The fame went to my head. I was handed everything—endorsement contracts, women, and money. Lots of money. I came from a relatively middle-class upbringing, so the adulation felt incredible until the spotlight began to intrude on my personal life. I suddenly felt like I was living in a fishbowl with the media hounding not only me, but my family and friends. Dating anyone was nearly impossible without being detected by the press.

  I ended up on one of those gossip shows after I happened to chat with some B actress at a club. The very one who leaked to the press more had happened between us than actually did. Sure, we’d had a few drinks that led to some hot sex. That was where her fantasy and my nightmare began. Funnily enough, I didn’t even know her name. It was months after I began seeing Jesse that the rumors started to circulate in the media. Nothing could have been further from the truth. I’d fallen deeply in love with Jesse Ward. Back then, she was my entire world. I would have done anything for her. Unfortunately for us, the press had been putting every aspect of our relationship under the microscope. Finally, Jesse had had enough of the gossip and ended things between us. Nothing I could have done or said would have changed her mind. She had pulverized my heart into tiny little pieces and left me completely shattered. The fame and celebrity took its toll. After a while, I stopped giving a shit. I lived up to their expectations of the bad boy hockey player but all I did was hide my broken and bleeding heart. Nothing much had changed. Where I was concerned having a functional and loving relationship was nothing more than a pipe dream.

  My phone buzzed. I pulled it out of my pocket and stared at the display. It was Jesse. My chest tightened with trepidation. I pulled up the text from her but before I read it, Zoe interrupted me. She stood there like a statue with tears glistening in her eyes and a terrified expression on her face. Her lips trembled as she tried to stifle a sob. I felt like shit for being so wrapped up in my own misery I had forgotten the reason for being at the hospital—Zoe.

  “What happened?” I tasted bile rise in my throat.

  “They took Ki back into surgery. They said its bad, Flynn. He’s hemorrhaging again.”

  It was all she managed to say. The fear dilated her pupils, turning her lavender eyes nearly black. It wasn’t enough she had to go through the unknown of Ki’s condition, I added to her stress with my stupid-ass stunt. I wanted to comfort her so badly it hurt to hold myself back. She stood aloof and silent, drowning in her own hell.

  “Zo, Ki will be okay.” The words sounded empty even to my own ears. Neither of us believed any of it. I clenched my fists in abject helplessness. There was nothing I could say or do to take away her pain and soothe her fears.

  “Oh god.” Zoe’s eyes were wide as saucers, gripped with fear. She clutched her belly and fell to her knees.

  I hurried to her side and scooped her up in my arms. We hurried to the nearest nurse station.

  “I need some help,” I shouted.

  A nurse sitting behind the counter looked up startled when I eased Zoe in a chair nearby.

  “Sir, what’s the problem with your wife?”

  I didn’t correct the nurse’s assumption. “She’s three months pregnant. She just doubled over in pain. She’s been under a tremendous amount of stress,” I rambled on, terrified.

  “The baby,” Zoe moaned softly.

  Fuck.

  “Do something,” I yelled at the nurse, who picked up the phone. I hope to god it wasn’t security.

  “An orderly from the ER will be here shortly,” the nurse replied.

  “Thank you.” I then noticed she was several months pregnant too.

  “I understand. Don’t worry, sir. She will be in good hands.”

  “Her name is Zoe Simmons,” I volunteered.

  The plump brunette nodded at me and walked over to Zoe, sitting down beside to her.

  “Have you had these cramps before?” she asked, her tone calm as she took Zoe’s pulse. The latter shook her head, too taken aback to answer. “Has there been any recent blood loss?”

  “No. Nothing like
that,” Zoe answered weakly. She slumped back into the seat, her hand rubbing her belly with the occasional wince.

  “That’s good.” The nurse smiled. She had a kindness in her eyes that assuaged the worst of my worries. Zoe seemed to calm down too, taking slow, deep breaths. “Now, don’t worry. We’ll take you to see the ob-gyn and get you an ultrasound. You’re in good hands. You and your baby.”

  Before long, an orderly arrived with a wheelchair.

  “Take her to the maternity ward and hook her up to a monitor. Alert Dr. Williams,” the nurse instructed.

  We eased Zoe into the wheelchair before I followed her and the orderly with haste in my step. I wasn’t a praying kind of guy, but in that moment, I made a silent plea for everyone in my world to be okay.

  Chapter 17

  Zoe

  My husband slipped into a coma two days ago due to sepsis. One minute morphed into to the next as I lost all track of time, and days interspersed with crying jags and deep prayer. The odds of his recovery were unknown according to Dr. Ulmer. After Ki’s surgery, an infection had set in and he hadn’t woken up after recovery. Death was a strong probability since the infection could damage and shut down his organs. There was only a slim chance of full recovery. Only time would tell how well he responded to the latest round of treatment. I’d been by his side ever since. Nothing else mattered to me other than willing Ki to wake up. They had pumped him full of the strongest antibiotics. Now, it was simply a waiting game. His condition worsened the first night with death tugging at him, but he fought through it to the next day. Ever since, he had been improving slightly, but his prognosis remained grave. He was in ICU intubated and hooked to machines to keep him alive, being monitored around the clock. I ran my hands over his warm cheeks. The medical staff was treating the fever that ravaged his body. He was so still. I barely noticed the nurse as she checked Ki’s vitals and changed his IV bag.

  I tried desperately to stay awake, but I found myself dozing off. I was so damned determined to be there when he woke up, however, it seemed to be a losing battle on my part. My body needed rest, period. I could no longer deny it. I settled back in a reclining chair and told myself I would rest my eyes for just a moment. My dad, Flynn, and even Darryl had repeatedly tried to get me to go home and rest, but I refused to leave Ki, pregnant or not. The television provided background noise. The lull of the commentator’s voice was soothing as I fought to keep my eyes open, but it was useless. I slipped into a deep sleep.

  Something jolted me awake. I jerked upright, disorientated and groggy. I momentarily forgot where I was until reality swept in with a cruel vengeance and I recalled my whereabouts—Ki’s room. I walked up to his bed. Nothing had changed. He was still lying unconscious, unaware of my presence. I caressed his cheek, which seemed cooler to the touch. Thank god. Maybe he had turned a corner. The monitor was registering a steady heartbeat. I smiled softly. My stomach grumbled. Grabbing my purse, I shuffled to the vending machine down the hall. As I passed the waiting area, I saw Flynn sleeping across a couple of chairs with his sports jacket covering him. All of us were exhausted from what we’d gone through these last few days. Heck, I hadn’t even changed clothes since arriving at the hospital. I ignored my need for personal hygiene in favor of the cafeteria and its sandwich vending machine. At three a.m., I had the cafeteria to myself. Settling down at a table near the door, I bit into my ham and cheese sandwich. Fuck, that tasted heavenly. Part of me felt guilty for not taking better care of myself and the baby.

  After the ob-gyn had examined me, she warned me that I needed to look after myself, especially during the first trimester. I was probably too headstrong for my own good. It was a major flaw of mine I needed to work on, no matter what went on in my life. Thankfully, I had suffered from cramping and nothing more, which wasn’t unusual. The doctor explained the uterus did this when it expanded. Pregnancy wasn’t as glamourous as the media portrayed it. It was downright scary as far as I was concerned. Finishing off my water and tossing it in the recycle bin, I got up only to find Jesse Ward standing in the doorway.

  Shit. The last thing I needed was more drama from her. She stared at me with those doe-eyes of hers—unreadable and sharp. I wanted to feel sorry for her, however, given our history I couldn’t muster any feelings for her. The one I felt sorry for was Flynn and how she was taking advantage of him. He had given her his heart and she had thrown it away because of gossip and innuendo. Jesse would rather believe the tabloids than the man she had professed to love. Then, she had gone after Ki. Forgiveness wasn’t in my vocabulary where Jesse Ward was concerned.

  I broke the staring contest between us. “What are you doing here?”

  “Is it true?”

  “I don’t have time to play your mind games, Jesse. Just tell me what is bothering you.”

  “You and Flynn,” she spat out.

  “What about Flynn and me?”

  “God, you are a real piece of work, Zoe. You act all self-righteous and stuck-up, but I know better. You are nothing but a puta sucia, a dirty whore who will spread her legs for the first guy who looks her way and falls for her fake-ass damsel in distress act. From what I hear through the press, you got knocked up. God only knows who the papá del bebé is. The press is speculating it is either Kaden Armour’s or possibly Flynn’s. Personally, I think the long shot is Ki, considering how many men you’ve gone through the past six months if the reports are accurate. Despite it all, Ki has stuck by your side. Now he is fighting for his life. And what are you doing? Throwing yourself at my fiancé. What kind of person does that? You accused me of some pretty bad things in the past but from the looks of things you are the reigning reina de los coños, queen of the cunts. Congratulations, bitch. By the way, good luck leaving the hospital. The entire press corps is waiting for you.”

  I blinked, absorbing Jesse’s venom. When she was mad, she cursed in both languages. I couldn’t blame her. She obviously knew Flynn had kissed me. I could feel the bile rise in my throat and my stomach churned. I darted toward a trash bin and threw up my sandwich. I heaved violently until I had nothing left. I could still feel Jesse hovering nearby, enjoying every moment of my humiliation. The sad truth was, she was right. I was a dirty whore. I kissed Flynn while Ki was lying in a coma. The only thing she didn’t know was that my baby was Ki’s. There was no question. I wasn’t giving her the satisfaction of that little tidbit. Now the press knew all about my pregnancy. This had Cami’s fingerprints all over it. I just had to open my big mouth and tell her to get the upper hand and put her in her place. It had backfired on me and badly. My mind was so muddled I wiped my mouth off on my sleeve and walked away from Jesse Ward in a daze.

  “I have a few things to share with the press, too,” Jesse crowed.

  Her parting words rang in my ears. I wandered back to towards the ICU ward. When I entered Ki’s room, Flynn was sitting beside his bed. Our eyes met briefly. I turned away. I wasn’t in the mood to rehash my encounter with Jesse or lean on Flynn anymore. Our friendship was one big mistake. In some strange way, I had tempted Flynn by relying on him too much. Jesse was right about my damsel in distress act. My whole life was a sham. I didn’t even know who I was on my own. I had gone from Ki to Flynn then back to Ki. This was the life I was going to expose my child too. Bad press, bad relationships, and bad decisions. I wished I could remember a time when everything wasn’t so fucked up. A time when I felt happy without pills, booze, or some dysfunctional relationship. A hopelessness seized me in a death grip, strangling anything good inside of me. I fled into the bathroom, away from Flynn’s unwavering gaze and Jesse’s sharp tongue. Locking the door, I leaned on the sink and stared at myself in the mirror. I looked like shit and guilty of the all the things I’d been accused of. My eyes were sunken and my cheeks hollow and ashen. A rage built in me. I grabbed the first thing I saw and threw it at the wall. The mirror shattered. The shards scattered everywhere. I sank down on the floor on my knees with my head in my hands. I just wanted to the pain to end.


  Flynn pounded on the door frantically.

  “Zoe! Open the door, now,” he commanded.

  I ignored him. Tears spilled down my cheeks, obscuring my vision as I allowed the grief to engulf me fully. Lost in myself, I felt a warm substance covering my hands and slacks. Blood. It was everywhere. The knocking on the door continued while I slumped to the floor and the blackness overtook me.

  Flynn

  I was frantic when I heard the breaking of glass. Zoe had locked the door and I was banging on it fearful of what lay on the other side. I rushed to Ki’s bedside and pushed the call button. A nurse rushed in, looked at Ki, and realized he wasn’t the emergency.

  “My friend locked herself in the bathroom and I heard shattering glass. She is three months pregnant. I’m worried something happened to her.”

  “Stay put. I’ll get the spare key,” she announced and left to retrieve the key.

  “Zoe! Open this door right now,” I demanded. I placed my ear against woodwork and heard nothing but silence. Fuck. Minutes seemed like hours before the nurse returned with the key. With the door unlocked, I rushed in, only to stop in my tracks. The sight before me gripped me by the throat. Blood and mirror shards were everywhere, with Zoe laying in the middle of it all, unconscious.

  The nurse stepped gingerly into the bathroom. She knelt beside Zoe and took her pulse. “Hit the call button and tell them code blue.”